by Kahlen Aymes
“Mr. Michaels?” he asked.
No, my mind screamed. Do you see any other black SUV stuck in the snow? “That’s me.”
He looked the situation over. “Seems like you’re in a bit of a pickle,” he said unnecessarily, handing me something to sign. He was in his early twenties and wore a uniform and coat with the logo of the service station emblazoned on the left side front. I took off his hat and ran a hand through his hair, before replacing it and walked most of the way around my car before coming back to speak to me.
“I gotta get out the shovel and dig out enough snow to be able to connect the wench to the axel. Can you shut off your engine, please? Hang tight.”
“Thank you,” I nodded, complying. ‘Hanging,” I muttered, too softly for him to hear me. I rolled up the window as I waited, trying to keep the heat inside. I felt idiotic sitting in this car, stuck in the fucking snow as someone else dug my ass out. My world was about to implode, and I couldn’t do a damn thing about that either if Addison wouldn’t answer her phone.
My world, I thought, watching the younger man dig and finally get his wench connected to the front of the car. I realized that I now conflated my life… my entire world, with Addison. This morning I was planning my life with her; unable to see my future without her in it, and now she thought I’d betrayed her without even asking me to clarify. I shook my head in disbelief as the SUV jerked when the wench on the tow truck was started. The car creaked in protest but was soon free of its icy prison. I had to admit it made me angry and more; it hurt like a bitch. Maybe we weren’t as inevitable as I believed.
I paid the driver with cash and turned the engine back on. “Take it easy, now,” he said as if he were an old geezer and I was some clueless sixteen-year-old. “The roads up ahead are more of the same. If you’re going into Knoxville, you can follow me. Highway 321 is about ten miles ahead. You take it until you hit 441 and just follow the signs.”
I knew where I was, I knew the way to Knoxville. I’d traveled it dozens of times. I bristled but I only smiled and nodded. “Got it. Thanks.”
After I’d straightened this fucking debacle out, I’d face Addison, and after I set her straight on exactly what happened, I’d demand to know why she didn’t trust me… because one thing was certain, if we didn’t have trust… we had nothing.
23
I was a nervous wreck.
I hadn’t gone home to shower or shave after the drive and flight back to New York. I was wearing the same worn jeans and light grey Henley I’d had on since morning. I’d shoved the long sleeves halfway up my forearms and I glanced at the gold Rolex on my wrist. Sure, it was more avant-garde to use my phone as my time piece, but this was my grandfather’s, it still worked, and I loved it. As usual, my agent was late. My frustration reached a boiling point.
I was on my second beer and the waiter had been by three times to see if I wanted to order. My stomach was grumbling, but I felt too sick inside to eat. The beer was leaving a subtle burn inside its empty hollow.
I threw down some bills without looking what they were and grabbed my coat before heading out of the bar and hailed a cab before I’d even thrown it on. I absently gave the cab driver the address to Gloria’s apartment. At least; I thought it was still her address. I hadn’t been there for years. Once the affair ended, I made sure we always conducted business at the agency or a public place.
Twenty minutes later I was walking through the lobby and taking the elevator up several floors. When the doors opened, everything seemed familiar, and I walked automatically to the apartment I remembered. I used the flat of my hand to hit the dark wood four times.
What the hell was I thinking coming all the way down here, when the person I wanted to speak to was Addison? I chastised myself, then faced the answer. I wanted to get this shit straightened out before I saw her so I could tell her the situation was already fixed. I ran a hand down my face; the thick layer of stubble scratched my palm and tried to center myself.
If Gloria had stood me up at Shorty’s, then I knew she had to be guilty of something nefarious. I leaned on the door frame and sucked in a deep breath to center myself.
I’d let her get away with going behind my back with publishers before, and it was finally biting me in the ass. I slammed a closed fist hard against the door once more before I whirled on my heel and started back down the hall toward the elevators. Anger burned like acid inside my gut and my heart sank to my stomach. Heat, like fire, seeped up under the skin of my face.
I should have gone to Addison’s apartment first, anyway. I’d get that Goddamned manuscript and then confront Gloria head on. Whatever she’d done, could be undone.
“Jax! Where are you going?” I heard Gloria’s voice from a few feet behind me and I stopped dead in my tracks. I turned accusingly, retracing my steps. She was standing in the open doorway to her apartment in a black velvet robe, casually holding a glass of amber liquid in a short cocktail glass.
“What the hell did you do?” I accused.
Gloria seemed half-drunk. Her hair was loose and unkempt. She lifted one shoulder in a half shrug. The robe fell open to the waist, barely covering her breasts. “Mmmm…. Well…” She turned and walked into the apartment; her tone lethargic. “What you wouldn’t. I got the job done.”
“By substituting Addison’s manuscript for mine?” I asked incredulously. “Why?”
“Why?” she laughed, walking to the small bar on one side of her living room. She picked up a bottle of scotch and started to refill her glass. “Because we had a contract and a deadline, darling. I wasn’t going to sit around until hell froze over waiting for you to get your shit together.”
“You can’t.”
She laughed softly and held her glass up, silently asking if I wanted to join her in a drink, but I was so furious, it was all I could do not to throttle her. “Sure, I can. Addison signed a contract for ghostwriting, so don’t worry, we’re covered.”
“She would never do that.”
Gloria’s eyebrow cocked. “Really? Apparently, you don’t know your little student as well as you think. She dropped off the contract last week… your TA in tow. Those two are getting cozy, I must say.” Her eyes locked with mine, daring me, taunting me. “You seem awfully put out for someone who wasn’t banging his student,” Gloria observed cattily.
My fists clenched at my sides; my blood ran cold. Hatred flooded through me. “You’ll never get away with this.”
“Oh, Jax…” her upper lip curled. “You gave me the idea. I mean, Jesus, you delivered her to my door and plopped her in my lap. You’re right… she has promise, but we’ll make a ton more money publishing her stuff under your name. Addy’s time will come, but right now, let’s just get you over this hump, hmmm?”
“You bitch,” I snarled.
“Pish… what are you so upset about? Now you can relax; writer’s block be damned and teach your little classes. We’ll still sell a shit load of books. Addison gets a fat check. Everyone is happy. Marcia was so pleased when I finally delivered your manuscript last month.”
So, she’d sent it to Marcia the second I left town. Maybe the second Addison submitted it. I was fuming. “I never signed a contract with the publisher. I’ll own this agency when I’m finished with you, Gloria.” I was more concerned with what this was doing to Addison. She must be so upset.
“Do you think I didn’t know about your little ploy? I saw it coming weeks ago. Do you think she’d keep your meeting from me? I told her not to sign a ghostwriting contract, so she’d never agree.”
Gloria let out an amused cackle that sent a chill down my spine. “Wanna bet? Don’t look so shocked. The girl is smart, and she wanted to get her foot in the door with publishing as soon as possible. She couldn’t wait to get started. Just ask Luke!”
The mention of his name had me seeing red. I remembered how I’d felt when I’d seen him comforting her in the commons that time before class. I’d never been so fucking jealous.
“You know I won
’t let this stand.”
“Please,” Gloria said, with a haughty huff. “I’ve been handling your career for a decade. I assure you, you will. And, Addy did sign the contract. I’ve got the paper trail to prove it.”
“Maybe you tricked her, but I didn’t sign a Goddamned thing,” I growled.
“Really?” Gloria’s eyebrows shot up. “I could swear it’s on file with the agency attorneys.”
It took everything I had inside not to put my fist through the wall beside her self-satisfied face. “Forging my signature, now?”
“Wouldn’t be the first time.” She offered a smug smile.
“Who are you? What happened to you?” My voice rose two levels. I was beside myself with fury.
She slammed her glass down and liquor sloshed over the rim of the short glass as her expression hardened. “I’m your agent, that’s who! I take care of you when you can’t take care of yourself!”
I moved toward the door to her apartment, unable to stand her presence for one second more, then turned on my heal, pointing my finger in her face. “We’re done. You’ll be hearing from my attorney, Gloria. Jesus, you’re such a rancorous bitch!”
“Sleep on it, honey. You’ll see I’m right. I told you, I’ll make sure Addy has her career; just play nice.”
I’d almost made it to the door when I stopped again. “Who the fuck to you think you are? You’ve made a shit ton of money off of me, and we’re done. I’m going to speak to Marcia on Monday.”
“And say what? That you missed your deadline?” she called after me. “Remember, I have the contracts to prove it. Even if your career could withstand it, Addison’s might not.”
“Might not withstand what? A huge bestselling author stealing her manuscript?” I sneered and yanked open the wooden door.
“You wouldn’t!” Gloria’s voice rose to a shriek.
“Try me.” I flung the door open and it hit the wall with a loud bang.
“You’ll ruin your own career, Jaxon! Columbia will fire you, too!”
I walked toward the elevator without looking back and she followed me out into the hall, rushing forward and grabbing my arm. “Jax, think about this. I was only taking care of you, baby. I’ve always loved you… since the moment we met.”
My jaw jutted out and my lips thinned in anger as I took both of her upper arms in my hands and yanked free of her hold. For the first time since I’d arrived, her expression was desperate, and tears filled her eyes.
“Jax, please. I did this for you.”
“Bullshit! You knew I was falling in love with Addison and you couldn’t fucking stand it! If you wanted to do something for me, it would have been to do your job! You could have moved my deadline and you could have gotten Addison’s book published in place of mine. That’s what I’m going to do.”
I decided not to wait for the elevator and walked with measured strides toward the stairwell. I grabbed the doorknob and pulled open the door.
Gloria was screaming after me. “I’ll fight you on this, Jax! You’re too late, anyway! Addy knows this was your idea! She knows you’re just a womanizer who uses young girls who worship you! She knows she’s not the first. Pump and dump! Funny! She already had her own suspicions. If you do fight this, the world will just know she was screwing her professor to launch her career. I’m sure that’s not what you want for her, so I’d think again!”
I stopped dead in my tracks once more as anger exploded inside me. I should have known Gloria would have covered her tracks. My lungs constricted and I couldn’t breathe. I wanted to kill Gloria for the damage she had caused for me on a career level, but more for what she’d put Addison through, and the mess she’d made of my relationship, but I forced my feet to resume walking away.
I prayed that after all the help I’d given her, and how intimate we’d come to know each other, that Addison wouldn’t believe Gloria’s poisonous words.
My feet flew down the stairs as I made my way down the twenty flights of stairs, burst through the stairwell door, and ran through the lobby toward the street. I put one hand in the air and used the fingers of the other to whistle loudly as I tried to hail a cab.
I had to see Addison tonight, had to talk to her to find out what she believed, and make a plan to fix everything. It felt like my fucking life depended on it.
My heart was pounding wildly as I stood on the steps of Addison and Michelle’s apartment building and pressed the buzzer on the intercom. On the way across town, I’d texted Addison three times, telling her Gloria had lied and that I needed to speak to her, but when she didn’t answer, my anger at Gloria faded and profound sadness grew. My earlier feelings that she didn’t trust me resurfaced and an ache began deep inside me.
How could she doubt me?
When the buzzer went unanswered, I pressed it again and kept pressing, determined that I’d annoy her enough to get her to at least speak to me electronically. I released then pressed again, and again. “Answer, Goddamn it!” I muttered. I gave it one more long press, then huffed out my frustration. I leaned on the molded concrete railing that bordered the five steps up to the brownstone from the street, resting my folded hands on my head. I tried to calm down by focusing on the civilians and the traffic. A few casual glances were cast my way, but that was one good thing about New York; most people went about their own business and wouldn’t even question others.
The opaque glass and wooden door to the front of the building suddenly opened and Michelle poked her head out.
“With all due respect, Professor Michaels, you can’t keep pushing on the buzzer, like that. It bothers our neighbors.”
I sucked in my breath. “I know.” Both hands were splayed in front of me imploringly. “I have to talk to Addison. Michelle… please.”
Michelle’s expression became pained. “I can’t let you in. She doesn’t want to see you.”
Michelle was shivering; although she had on a sweatshirt and jeans, she didn’t have on a coat and the temperature was below freezing and she was standing in the open door.
“I’ve tried to call and text several times and she won’t pick up.” I tried to sound authoritative but in reality, I was feeling a level of desperateness and loss that I’d never felt before. “I didn’t know what else to do but come over here.”
“I’m sorry, Professor. She’s been crying all night and today hasn’t been much better. How could you do that to her?” Michelle accused.
My jaw stiffened and I took a step closer. I lowered my voice, but my tone was hard. “I didn’t! My fucking agent, did! Do you think I’d go away to write if I was planning on using Addison’s manuscript? Jesus! None of this would be happening if she hadn’t signed the contract with that ghostwriter clause!”
I could see my student, and Addison’s best friend, recoil and so I tempered my tone. “Look, I’m sorry. It’s a misunderstanding, but I can’t straighten it out if she refuses to speak to me about it. Can I come in? Just for a few minutes?”
Her expression looked hesitant and I realized I was putting her in an awkward position. I put my hand up in resignation. “Just tell her that I’d like to speak with her, please.”
“Yes, sir. I will.” At least her expression turned sympathetic so maybe she believed that I was telling the truth.
“I’m going to try to fix it with the publisher, but I haven’t seen the contract Addison signed. It would help if I had a copy.” I looked at Michelle hopefully. She shook her head. “But, if it’s legit, I might not be able to do a damn thing. If she signed a ghostwriter contract it might be over for this book. If they don’t publish the book under my name, they’ll still be able to use it under someone else’s. I need her to understand that I’m as screwed over this as she is. There are three contracts in play.”
I was inwardly seething that I had to jump through all of these hoops just to get a damn conversation with the woman I loved. I paused when my mind wrapped around it. My mouth fell open in a huff, then I sucked in a very deep and slow breath. It hurt.
Michelle’s brow creased in a frown. “Three? I don’t understand.”
“Addison’s with the agency, mine with the publisher, and the agency one with the them. It’s not so simple.” There were actually four that needed resolved. As of this moment, I was done with Gloria and my agency. Ten fucking years of my career was on the line.
“I’ll try to talk to her and get her to call you.”
“Thank you.” I felt my expression soften. “Is she okay?”
Michelle shook her head. “Not really, professor. She won’t eat or talk to me. All she said was that you stole her book…then she breaks down crying. I’ve never seen her like this. You broke her heart.”
My jaw clenched again. “No, I didn’t!”
Michelle’s eyes widened in surprise. “I’m sorry you’re angry, Professor, but Addy is my best friend.”
“I know and I don’t mean to put you in the middle, Michelle, but I didn’t do anything! I left town to work on my book and the next thing I know-—” I stopped, knowing that Michelle wasn’t the person I needed to be talking to. It was cold and I had a legal mess in front of me. “I’m sorry, but you have no idea how fucking frustrating it is to be accused of something you didn’t do and then not be allowed to defend yourself.” I sighed in defeat as Michelle just stood there looking at me, shivering in the cold. “I’ll let you go back inside. Just tell her regardless, I’ll do my best to figure a way out of this.”
Michelle folded her arms in front of her. “Should I try to get her to call you?”
I had started down the stairs, but I turned back to face her when she spoke. I shook my head. “No. She doesn’t trust me and so… there is nothing to talk about.”
I left Michelle staring after me with her mouth agape. Maybe I shouldn’t have said that, but Goddamn it! I had done nothing to earn Addison’s mistrust and I wasn’t going to grovel. I would fix this mess, then get busy writing and shopping for a new agency.