She arched as I thrust, both of us groaning as I slid inside her. Bracing myself on the wall, I trapped her between the cold tile and my body, and I fucked her. My hips slammed into her hard and fast, and she met my movements, tilting her pelvis so I hit her exactly where she wanted. Her nails dug into my back, sinking farther the harder I took her. I covered her mouth, swallowing her cries, keeping them only for me. Her body tightened around me, milking my cock as she shattered. I dropped my head to her shoulder, drawing the skin between my teeth as I groaned out her name, my hand slapping the wall as my orgasm burned through me. I shuddered, my body melting into hers as the water poured over us.
“Fuck,” she whimpered. “That was just . . . fuck.”
I grinned against her skin, nipping it again, making her yelp. “Such a potty mouth you have for a lady, Alex.”
“Only when I’m naked with you,” she retorted.
I kissed my way to her mouth, hovering over her full lips. “Good,” I breathed. “I like you dirty with me.”
I moved back, helping her to her feet, and we let the warm water cascade over us. I shut off the water and stepped out, holding out a towel for her. “Best shower—ever.”
She giggled, then looked down at the floor and grimaced. “Damn it, my robe is wet.”
I chuckled and handed her my sweatshirt. “Wear this. It’s long enough to be a robe.” I picked up her wet robe with a teasing smile. “That’s what happens when you’re anxious to get in the shower with me.”
She smirked. “Complaining?”
I shook my head. “Far from it. I like you like this. Teasing and frisky. I love hearing you curse. It’s very sexy.” I ran my fingers down her arm, suddenly serious. “You were . . . we were amazing.”
She bit her lip, looking unsure.
“Hey,” I called in a gentle voice. “Last night—this morning—it was indescribable. You were everything I imagined . . . and more.”
She fingered the edge of her towel. “Eric didn’t like that,” she admitted. “He was very . . . reserved in the bedroom. He didn’t like dirty talk, and he hated it when I cursed.”
“I’m not Eric.”
Her head snapped up. “I know that. I’m not comparing. But last night, I felt like I could be . . . me. You made me feel safe enough to just . . . feel and enjoy.”
I pulled her close. “I like doing that for you.” I stared down into her warm eyes. “I know this”—I motioned between us—“has to stay private and in this room, but in here, Alex, you’re free to be you. My Alex.” I kissed her sweetly. “My cursing, sexy Alex.”
“I’ve never felt sexy.”
“You are. You are incredibly sexy.” I tugged her closer. “I can’t stop wanting you.”
Her eyes widened as she felt the evidence of my desire for her against her skin. Her shy gaze turned mischievous and bold.
“What . . . ?”
She tossed my sweatshirt behind me to the counter, dropped to her knees, and tugged on my towel. I stared down at her, my breath catching in my throat.
“Oh God, Alex, you don’t have to.”
“But I want to. And you said I could do whatever I wanted in this room, Dylan.”
Then she wrapped her lips around my cock.
I couldn’t argue with that rationale.
IT WAS ANOTHER DAY OF laziness and fun. We played games, watched more movies, and I made out with Alex every chance I got. While the popcorn popped and the kids were still engrossed in the movie in the other room. As I “helped” her make lunch. When the kids went outside for a snowball fight—Alex and I watched from the window, their antics making us laugh. They were so tired when they came inside, they fell asleep in front of the fire and didn’t even finish the hot cocoa Alex made them. I tackled her to the sofa and kissed her until we were breathless. She fell asleep in my arms, and I watched them all before napping myself. Something that hadn’t happened in years. Usually, I was too busy to take a nap. It was a great day.
After dinner was over and Seth had left for his room again, Noelle fell asleep between us, and once she was tucked into her bed, I had Alex alone. It was all I could do not to take her on the sofa in her small living room, but I left and waited for her to come to my room once she was sure both Seth and Noelle were settled for the night. Neither of us got much sleep, and when she slipped from my bed in the darkness, immediately I missed her beside me. I fell into a restless sleep and didn’t wake until later the next morning, my chest feeling tight for some reason.
When the elevator doors opened, I heard the sound of a voice I didn’t recognize. Walking into the bar, my heart sank. Through the window, I could see a large snow-clearing machine parked out front and massive piles of snow.
The cavalry had come.
The man I assumed was Mr. Johnson was standing and putting on his hat. “Thanks for the coffee and the meals, Alex. The missus will appreciate it. The roads are clearing up, and I know George is happy to be home.”
She smiled at him, holding out a box that contained his food. “Thanks, Mr. Johnson, I appreciate it.” She turned to me. “Good morning, Dylan.”
Her words were friendly, but her voice was different. Distant, polite. I was back to being a guest, which I knew would happen, but a small part of me hadn’t wanted it to materialize—especially so soon. And if George was back, that meant my time at the inn was almost done. I had to swallow a sudden lump in my throat before I returned her greeting.
“Morning, Alex.”
“Coffee’s on. I’ll get you some breakfast.”
“Just coffee is fine, thanks.”
“Okay. George is free whenever you want to see him.”
I nodded and turned away, busying myself getting coffee. The odd sensation in my chest tightened—the same ache I had felt the other night. I wondered if I was getting sick. Maybe I needed to see the doctor when I got home.
I stood in front of the window and sipped my coffee, staring blankly, unsure as to why I felt so strange.
Mr. Johnson left with a cheery wave, and Alex came and stood beside me, not touching, but close enough I could feel her presence.
“Where are the kids?”
“Susan came and took them sledding. She figured they’d be going crazy after being cooped up. School reopens tomorrow.” She smiled sadly. “The airport reopened again a short while ago. Your assistant faxed your flight information for you—I left it on the front counter. You’re booked out tomorrow at lunch.”
Tomorrow. I was leaving tomorrow. The ache in my chest grew more pronounced, and my throat turned desert-dry.
“Fine,” I managed to spit out.
My hand twitched, and my fingers brushed against hers. She slipped her hand into mine and squeezed, then pulled back. I flexed my fingers so our pinkies were still entwined, needing some connection with her—no matter how small.
“Alex,” I breathed.
“Don’t,” she pleaded.
“I don’t know what to do,” I admitted. “Or what to say.”
“There is nothing you have to do or say. We’re both adults. You came here for a reason. Your reason will be done today, and it’s time for you to go home.”
“What will you do?” I asked. She knew what I was asking. I was buying her home. Where was she going to go?
She sighed, her pinkie slipping from mine, and crossed her arms. She took a step away, already beginning to separate from me. “I’ll find a place and a job. It’ll be a change for us all, but it was going to happen eventually. You don’t have to worry about us, Dylan.”
I turned to face her. “But I do. Let me help.”
“How?”
“I’ll buy you a place. Pick out a house, and it’s yours. Anywhere you want. I’ll open a bank account for you until you’re on your feet. Whatever you need.”
She stared at me, shock and hurt written across her face. “And what, Dylan? You’ll drop by for some nocturnal visits when you’re in town? A little somethin’ somethin’ on the side?” Her voice dropped.
“Do you know how confusing that would be to my children? To me? Not to mention, how insulting?”
“No!” I gasped. “No strings, Alex. I want nothing from you. I expect nothing from you,” I hastened to assure her. I was stunned she would think that way.
“Why, then?”
“Pardon?”
“Why would you want to do that? Because we fucked? You’re feeling guilty?”
“No! Because . . .” I stumbled over my words. “Because I care.” I stepped closer. “And don’t call it that. It was more, and you know it.”
“You set the ground rules, Dylan. Only here, remember? A limited time—no strings attached. Your offer feels as if you’re paying me for what happened between us.”
I ran a hand through my hair in vexation. “I’m not trying to do that.” I searched for the right words. “I’m wealthy, Alex. Very wealthy. I can afford it, and I want to do it . . . I just—I want-I want to help,” I sputtered uncharacteristically.
For a moment, she was silent. When she spoke, her voice was low and firm. “Thank you for your offer, but it’s not needed. I will look after my family. That’s my job, not yours.”
“But—” I began.
She held up her hand. “The answer is no, Dylan. And the subject is closed.”
I stepped back, defeated. I had royally fucked that up. Instead of making her see I cared, I made her feel like a whore. She had no idea how rare it was for me to care about someone. How special that made her to me. I had to figure out another way to help her. I lowered my voice.
“Will you come to me tonight?” I reached out and touched her hand tenderly. “Please.”
“I don’t know.”
I opened my mouth to beg her, when I heard the slight squeak of wheels coming close. We weren’t alone anymore. I had to remember that.
I turned back to the window, tumultuous emotions raging within me. I hadn’t expected to feel like that—desolate and lost. I hadn’t expected to feel anything at all. None of that was supposed to happen.
“Dylan,” George greeted me. “Ready to discuss that offer now?”
Steeling myself, I turned to him and smiled, my emotions locked down tight and my business face on. Alex was right. I came here to do something specific, and it was time to finish it.
“Absolutely. I’ll go get the paperwork.”
I followed him out of the room, feeling Alex’s gaze on me the whole time. It took everything in me not to look back at her.
“Your offer is very generous.”
“I want the property, George. I don’t want to risk someone else making you a better offer.”
He looked past me to the window, surveying his land. “I’ll be able to help Alex get settled as well,” he stated, his eyes shifting back to the paperwork.
I shrugged, feigning indifference. That had been my plan when I changed the amount on the offer. I was determined to help Alex whether she knew it was me or not. “It’s your money—you can do whatever you want with it. I’m glad if it helps your family. She and her children have made my stay very, ah, pleasant.”
“Pleasant?”
I nodded. “It was a nice break, but I’m anxious to get back to my life,” I explained, my voice flat.
Disappointment flashed across his face. “I see. I’m sure they enjoyed their time with you too.”
I didn’t say anything. My throat felt too dry.
“Do you mind if I have my lawyer look these over? He’s coming by this afternoon. I’m sure they’re fine, but I would feel better.”
“Of course.”
“I’ll sign them as soon as he gives me the thumbs-up. You’ll have them before you leave—tomorrow, I think?”
“Yes.”
He stared at me intently. “You’re welcome to stay longer.”
“Thank you, but no. I have a lot waiting for me when I get back.”
“Of course.” He held out his hand. “It’s been a pleasure, Dylan.”
I gripped his hand firmly. “It has.” I stood, walking to the door, pausing. “George . . .”
He looked up. “Yes?”
I sighed. “Never mind.”
I stayed in my room all afternoon, keeping busy with emails and catching up on work. Seth had appeared at one point to deliver a sandwich and inform me dinner was in the bar at six and I was welcome to join them. I almost told him to have Alex send up a tray, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I wanted one more night with all of them.
Everyone was quiet at dinner; even my Little Owl seemed subdued. George pulled me aside and told me the lawyer had checked everything and the papers would be in my hands before I left. I could merely nod; the usual spark of victory absent when I shook his hand.
After dinner, Noelle crawled onto my lap, demanding a story. I read her favorite book, enjoying her closeness. She had her little doll clutched tight in her arms as I read, and she helped me turn each page, making sure I didn’t skip any.
“I haf a new book for ’morrow night, Dywan. It’s cawwed Thanta’s Magic.”
I swallowed, looking at Alex, unsure what to do. George sighed quietly and wheeled out of the room. Seth didn’t say a word, but he grabbed his books and stomped away. Alex leaned forward, stroking Noelle’s arm. “Dylan won’t be here tomorrow night, baby.”
“Why?”
“He has to go home.”
She looked up at me, bewildered. “Why?” she whispered. “You tay hewe.”
“I have work to do. I have to go.”
“Oh.” She huffed. “Otay. You come back, den. We read Thanta’s Magic afta.”
I opened my mouth, but Alex mouthed “no.” Instead, I dropped a kiss to Noelle’s forehead. “You be good for Mommy, Noelle.”
She nodded. “I will be.”
Alex stood. “Bedtime, little girl.”
Noelle looked at me, her eyes sad. “Come back fathst, Dywan. I miss you too much!” Then she pressed her lips to my cheek and hopped off my knee, taking Alex’s hand.
I watched her walk away, that odd sensation in my chest swelling—again.
I seriously needed to see the doctor.
Alex came to me in the dark of the night, slipping into my bed, her warm body melting into mine. Neither of us spoke; instead, we let our hands and bodies do the talking. Buried inside her, I groaned at the rightness of being with her that way, suddenly hating the fact that we had to hide. Hating more that it would be the last time. I thrust into her, desperation growing, my thoughts wild and chaotic. I clutched her close, not wanting to let her go, but knowing I had to. Overwhelmed by the vortex of emotions swirling through my head, I took her hard and fast. She moved with me, holding me tight, but the teasing, cursing side of her was quiet. She was as conflicted as I was, and yet neither of us could express it.
Afterward, she nestled close, pressing her head to my chest, but still, she was silent. I could feel her walls coming back, feel her removing herself from me, even as she stayed physically close.
I wanted to beg her to let me buy that house. To let me see her again. But I knew she wouldn’t allow it. She couldn’t allow her children to be caught in a relationship where I constantly came and went from their lives. Plus, I couldn’t hurt her that way. But the truth was, I wasn’t capable of having the kind of relationship she deserved.
When she pulled away from me, I cupped her cheek, kissing her sweet mouth. “My Alex,” I murmured. “My darling girl—thank you.”
She held my hand to her face, a tear running down her soft skin and over mine. She bent down, and we shared one last kiss. “I would be, Dylan,” she whispered. “I would be yours if I could be.”
She turned and hurried across the room, shutting the door behind her. I pressed my lips to my wet knuckles, tasting her sadness, loathing the reality that I was the cause of it.
Still, there was nothing I could do to change things.
Nothing.
I was certain of that fact, yet sleep didn’t find me the rest of the night.
Sunlight sca
ttered across the white of the snow, its brilliance almost blinding, as I stood lost in thought and drank coffee, staring out my window. Draining my cup, I set it on the table beside me and ran a hand through my hair, tugging on the ends. My stomach ached. My chest felt tighter than ever, and the usual calm that prevailed over my body was missing.
I was tense, exhausted, upset, and I couldn’t understand why.
I was leaving the inn—going back to Toronto—exactly as I had planned to do all along. A few days ago when I arrived, I could hardly wait to get out of here, but something changed.
That something was Alex.
Her, a gangly teenager, and a lisping little angel—who had broken my heart with her tears this morning. Seth was unusually surly, and for some reason, turned to Noelle while she nattered on at breakfast and informed her I wouldn’t be returning—ever.
Alex gasped. “Seth!”
“It’s true,” he insisted. “He’s leaving, and he isn’t coming back!” He glared at me. “Are you?”
Before I could say anything, Noelle burst into sobs. Seth pushed away from the table, grabbed his books, and stormed out of the inn, muttering under his breath. I could still hear the anguished sobs as Alex gathered Noelle close, indicating I should leave. I stood, helpless, and watched her cry as my stomach churned, then silently, I returned to my room.
I groaned. That wasn’t supposed to happen. They weren’t supposed to affect my life. I couldn’t allow it to happen. My life was somewhere else. Their life was at the inn. I had nothing else to give. Alex had firmly rejected my offer of a house and financial help, so we were at a stalemate.
The door opened behind me, and I turned to see Alex slip inside, holding a thick envelope.
“How is Noelle?” I asked, anxious.
“Fine. She left for day care a couple of minutes ago.”
“I saw the van. I wasn’t sure if she left or you kept her home.”
Christmas Sugar ~ Melanie Moreland Page 9