by Sara Orwig
Nine
Claire gave up on sleep. She was on fire still from Nick’s kisses and his caresses. She wanted to be in his arms, while at the same time she wished she hadn’t let any of it happen because kisses could only complicate their relationship. They were getting over the past, building a relationship in the present. They didn’t need lust complicating their lives.
She should have stopped Nick much sooner tonight, but she couldn’t. Even though she knew she shouldn’t, she had wanted his touch, wanted to hold him. Now sleep was gone, and once again their relationship had changed. No matter how either of them tried to deny it, the spark between them was still there, had never been extinguished. They could no longer deny the passion that shadowed every moment they would spend together. Everything would be different between them now.
How was she going to get through this time with Nick? Could she manage to just see him when she had to?
How would she get through this long night without him?
* * *
Wednesday morning after her shower she dressed in jeans, a black knit shirt and tennis shoes. Cody was still curled in bed asleep.
When she entered the kitchen, Nick was cooking and the tempting aroma of hot coffee and hot bread filled the air.
Her heart jumped as she looked at him. A blue plaid long-sleeved shirt covered his broad shoulders and was tucked into tight jeans that emphasized his long legs. A hand-tooled leather belt circled his narrow waist. Just like that, he had turned into the sexy rancher.
“Good morning,” she said.
He turned to smile at her, moved a skillet and crossed the room to her. “Good morning,” he said in a husky voice. “You look pretty.” He hugged her lightly and paused to look into her eyes while his arm still circled her waist. Desire was obvious in his blue eyes and she needed to move away, but for an instant she was immobile, caught and held, wanting him to lean down and kiss her.
With an effort, she stepped away.
“I want to take Cody to look at the horses today and let him ride with me. Want to go with us?”
“Sure. I wouldn’t miss Cody’s first ride. I’ll take pictures. Right now, he’s still sleeping soundly.”
“We’re just hanging out at the ranch and I’m not joining the guys to do any work while we’re here, so if you want to go into town or do something, let me know. This is a very quiet place.”
“Frankly, a very quiet place sounds wonderful. Cody’s going to have a great time. I know you’ll look out for him and I’ll be in charge of pictures. This will be special for him.”
“It’s special for me in a lot of ways,” Nick said, touching a lock of her hair. “I forget how much I love it out here and I want both of you to like it, too. I’ve hardly been here in the past couple of years.”
“You’re too busy. Nick, you’ve got to slow down and smell the roses.”
He smiled at her. “There are some other things I’d rather slow down to do,” he said in a husky voice.
“And just what would you like to do?” she asked in a breathless voice, knowing she might as well toy with sticks of dynamite, but it had been aeons since she had flirted with anyone.
She caught the brief startled look as his eyes widened, and then Nick stepped closer. “Kiss you good morning,” he said, taking her into his arms.
She had opened her mouth to say something, but words were lost when his mouth covered hers and he held her tightly to kiss her.
After the first startled moment, she wrapped her arms around him and kissed him in return, her heart pounding, knowing that she was going up in flames and encouraging him in every way. Guarding her heart had gone away days ago.
She finally ended the kiss and stepped away from him, fanning herself with her hand. “That starts the day with fireworks.”
“That starts the day in one of the best possible ways.”
She turned to find him watching her intently. “I’m not asking what the other possible ways are. I think I’ll cool down with some orange juice.”
“Coward,” he said softly, but there was no bite in his words.
He walked back to get her a glass of juice. “I’ll cook you an omelet. Tell me what you’d like.”
“I can cook my own, Nick.”
“I know you can, but I’ll do it. Look at all the ingredients I have.” She walked closer and saw little dishes of chopped mushrooms, onions, sweet peppers, jalapeño peppers, garlic, asparagus, basil leaves, spinach leaves. She looked up in surprise. “How early did you get up?”
“Early, but I can’t take credit. Douglas had all this ready. He left it for us.”
“Mercy, what a spread. Very tempting,” she said, looking at the ingredients again and glancing at Nick to find him watching her with another intent look.
“What? Is something wrong?”
“Far, far from wrong,” he said, his voice dropping lower, stirring more sizzles in her. “What’s tempting in this kitchen isn’t the chopped veggies.”
Smiling, her heart beating faster, she moved away from him to sip her orange juice. “I’ll have a bit of everything in my omelet. How’s that? Can you cram it all in and still have a small omelet?”
“Just watch,” he said, turning his attention to his cooking.
Was he flirting to see if he still held appeal or was he flirting for the fun of it? She wondered if she would always suspect his motives.
* * *
It was midmorning before they were on horseback. Claire took pictures of Cody, whose eyes sparkled. In his parka, Western hat, jeans and boots, he looked like a little cowboy and he sat on the big horse in front of Nick looking as if he had been given the world.
In addition to appearing almost as happy as his son, Nick was handsome, sexy and appealing in his black broad-brimmed hat, tight jeans that hugged his muscled legs and his boots. Would he kiss her again tonight? With the question came the realization that she wanted him to. The more time she spent with him, the more she wanted to be with him and wanted to be in his arms, which was not going to help her in dealing with him.
“Well, you’ve cinched your place in his heart,” she told Nick, looking up at him. “I imagine you can do no wrong in his eyes and there is no man on this earth who could possibly be a more wonderful dad.”
“I hope you’re right,” Nick said. “That’s awesome, but I love it. We can come out to the corral tonight after dinner when the guys spend a couple of hours riding and it’ll be an eye-opener. I don’t think he realizes what this animal can do. Has he ever been to a rodeo?”
She gave Nick a look.
“Well, we’ll remedy that soon, maybe tomorrow night if I can find one somewhere we can get to.”
“That will be the crowning touch.”
Their busy schedules were not going to allow many more weeks like this one and the past weekend, when they had both cleared their calendars, so things would change soon. In the meantime, Claire was going to enjoy every moment.
All day she trailed after them, mostly to take pictures of Cody. And that night she sat down to another delicious meal with them, courtesy of Douglas and his wife who served them.
After dinner Claire passed on going to the corral to watch the cowboys with the horses.
When Nick and Cody returned, Cody ran to tell her about the bucking horses and the cowboys. He jabbered and waved his hands and she got out her iPad to take a video to show her grandmother. Cody didn’t seem to notice the iPad. When he told her about his dad riding a bucking horse, she glanced at Nick in surprise. He grinned and she realized again that Nick loved ranch life, even the more rugged moments. If he hadn’t been born a Milan with their legend and traditions, would his life and his choices have been different?
“Cody, I think it’s time to call Grandma and go to bed so you’ll be able to do things tomorrow
.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he said as she got out her phone.
As he got ready for bed, Cody tugged on her wrist, and when she looked at him he continued telling her about the bucking horses. Nick joined them while she read to Cody and minutes after he climbed into bed he was asleep.
“Let’s go look at the pictures you took today. I would like some copies.” Nick draped his arm across her shoulders and they went to the sitting room to sit on the sofa together.
“I think you had another hit this evening. To say he was impressed is an understatement.”
“I’ve told him he doesn’t go around the horses unless I’m with him or Mr. Macklin, my foreman. Dusty Macklin has raised five boys and he knows kids. I would trust him with Cody, but nearly all the time Cody will be with me if he’s on the ranch.”
“I’m glad to hear that. You have a bull or two somewhere on the place, horses and rattlesnakes. Heaven knows what else, so I hope he’s always with you.”
“Don’t ever worry about him here,” Nick said, his blue eyes clear and direct. “Let’s see the pics.”
Together they went through the pictures, laughing over them. At one point Nick paused. “Claire, there’s something I was thinking about even before this week. Christmas is coming. I know you have Christmas with your grandparents, and I don’t want to interfere, but I want Cody around and my family will, too. Would you and Cody come back during Christmas week to have a Christmas together here at the ranch or in Dallas and include my parents? Your grandmother would be invited, and if I can possibly fly your grandfather here, he would be, too.”
She hadn’t wanted to think that Nick might want Cody with him at Christmastime, but now she had to make a decision. Once again her life was getting tied to Nick’s and she felt on course for another giant hurt.
“If I can have Christmas morning at home with my grandparents, then we could come that afternoon, providing the weather is good enough to travel. If Grandpa can’t travel, you can always join us in Houston. We’d be happy to have you.”
“Thanks. I’ll watch the weather. If it’s good, I might have everyone here on the ranch. If not, we’ll have Christmas in Dallas. We’ll work it out however you agree, but that’s great. What about putting a tree up while you’re here? I don’t want to do it all alone. We can cut a cedar here on the ranch and there are some decorations in the attic.”
“Sure. Cody would love to decorate a tree,” she said, wondering how much Nick was going to change her life.
“That’s great. Thanks,” he said, smiling.
She realized Nick was relaxed, happier and more light-hearted since they had arrived at the ranch. “It’s so obvious how much you like it here, Nick. You ought to try to come more often.”
“This ranch is my first love. Sometimes I envy Tony. But I can’t do that to Dad. He’s been good to me, helped me, and I have a good career and a good life because of him. A very good career, but I still love this life more.”
“You’re going to spend your life doing something you don’t really love, just to please your father?”
“You’ve gone into a family business. Would you have chosen real estate if it hadn’t been something you were raised to do?”
Taken aback by his question, she thought about her answer as she looked into his blue eyes. “I thought about interior design, being a decorator. I like that. Even now, sometimes I can help a customer with staging a house before it’s put on the market to sell.”
“There, see? You’re not so different.”
“Not really. I don’t have a whole different personality when I get involved with interior decorating. You do when you’re on the ranch. You’re far more laid-back and seem happier here. You’re not attached to your cell phone out here.”
“I turn it off. Right now it’s in the kitchen.” He shrugged. “I’ll live here when I retire.”
“Nick, you will have lived most of your life by then,” she said.
“Worried about me?” he asked, his tone changing as he picked her up and placed her on his lap. Before she could answer, he kissed her and she was lost in his kisses then, wanting him more than she had before.
Need was more intense, and this time when his hands slipped beneath her knit shirt, she didn’t want him to stop. Memories of making love with him bombarded her while longing spurred her to let go and love him.
Her fingers twisted free the buttons of his shirt and she ran her hands across his muscled chest, pushing away his shirt. Still kissing her, Nick shook off his shirt and tugged hers over her head to toss it away.
“Nick—” she started to protest, but his mouth covered hers and ended her words as he pulled her closer against his shoulder and kissed her passionately. Unfastening her bra, he slipped it off, his hands drifting lightly over her breasts. He caressed and teased, creating more need as she clung to him. A scarf held her hair behind her head. He unfastened it and combed his fingers through the long, luxurious strands.
Common sense cautioned her to stop. Each caress, each kiss complicated the situation and also moved her closer to another broken heart. But desire burned away caution.
Standing, he picked her up as he kissed her and carried her into his bedroom. He never broke contact, placing her down on her feet. She was so wrapped up in his lips on hers, his hands on her body, that she stopped worrying about their situation. More than even her next breath she wanted to just give herself over to the moment, over to Nick. She could no longer deny—to him or to herself—that she wanted him with an intensity that set her ablaze.
She let herself explore him, indulging for a moment the fantasies that had played out in her mind so many nights over the last four years. She ran her hands down his smooth back, slipping around his narrow waist to unbuckle his belt and tug it away. She could feel his erection pressing against her and wanted to free him, to get the barriers of clothing tossed aside.
Yet, at the same time, that niggling voice of reason echoed in her mind, telling her to stop and think about what she was doing. What kind of commitment was she about to make?
When Nick unfastened her jeans and his fingers moved beneath her clothing to caress and stroke her, she silenced that voice and let herself bask in the sensation, until she gasped with need and held him tightly.
He cupped one soft breast, his tongue swirling over and teasing the nipple. Clinging to his shoulders, she gasped with pleasure. He shifted one leg between hers, granting his hand more access to the source of pleasure between her thighs. His intimate strokes caused her to cry out again.
Just as she reached the point of no return, common sense slammed into her again and she stilled his hand. “Nick, we can’t do this,” she said. “There are so many reasons, not the least of which is I’m not protected.” She looked up at him. Dark locks of his hair fell over his forehead. Tinged with desire, his blue eyes had darkened to the color of stormy seas. His mouth was red from their kisses. His male body was muscled, virile, perfect. She had to drag her eyes away.
“I’ve got protection,” he said as he moved over her on the bed, still keeping all his weight from coming down on her. He held her as he showered kisses on her neck and throat. “I want you, Claire,” he said between kisses. “I want you with all my being. You’ve given me back life and laughter and hope. The sex was always fantastic and that’s real living.”
“You have solutions and answers for everything. It’s the politician in you.” She didn’t recognize her own voice; it was deep and husky with desire. She wanted him too, so badly it was nearly killing her to resist him. “But we are going to complicate our lives, Nick.”
“We’ve already complicated the hell out of our lives.” He pulled back to look at her, his lidded eyes irresistible. “Tell me you don’t want this. Tell me when to stop.” Even as he said those words, his one hand caressed her breast while the other hand stroked her inner
thighs slowly, so lightly she ached to rise up and feel the full power of his touch.
She moaned, unable to dredge up the words to stop even though she knew she should. She wanted his mouth and hands on her. She wanted him inside her. She loved him and longed for him to make love to her again, all night long.
“I should tell you to stop,” she whispered, her hand sliding over him, taking his thick rod in her hand to caress him.
“No, you shouldn’t and you don’t really want to,” he murmured as he showered kisses on her breasts and drifted lower. His tongue trailed over her stomach, down between her thighs that she parted for him.
“Nick,” she whispered, sitting up to kiss and stroke him, to try to build desire in him to the height he had in her. She wanted to kiss him from head to toe, to make love as she had longed to do so many times in so many empty nights. Now Nick was here in her arms and she was already beyond the point of stopping. This had been a dream of hers for years; now she was about to make it a reality. She pushed him down on the bed and caressed his hard body with her eyes before she followed with her hands, relishing the feel of him, wanting to build need in him until he wouldn’t ever want to let her go. She was running headlong into heartbreak and disaster and she didn’t care. She wanted him too desperately.
She moved over him, her hands fluttering, titillating him while she showered him with wet kisses. She trailed her tongue down his chest, and lower, lavishing kisses along his inner thighs. With a groan he grabbed her arms to roll her over, but she pushed him back down on the bed. “Wait, Nick. Just wait and let me love you.”
She did, and the more she touched him, the more she wanted him. Memories taunted her, longing filled her, making her shake with need.
This time when he shifted she let him move her onto her back. He paused only long enough to look at her. “I want you,” he whispered and then kissed away any answer she might have had.
He reached out to open a drawer and get a condom. She watched him, her gaze raking over his lean, muscled body, his strong shoulders and flat stomach. He was aroused, ready to love her. She wanted him and she was probably falling more in love with him than ever, something she’d feared would happen this week.