by Sara Orwig
“The only grandson—he should be very welcome,” she said, smiling but feeling a pang in her heart. She would spend time with his family, but she’d never be a part of it.
* * *
By late morning they were back in Dallas at Nick’s mansion. Two members of his staff were present and his cook was already there.
Cody sat at a game table in the family room, coloring, and Nick took her arm to pull her aside, walking into the hall.
“My folks will be here tonight. Can you talk to Cody—and I think it should be you—about what he would like to call them? Granddad, Grandma—whatever he comes up with will be wonderful to them. They’ll be thrilled and it would be nice to start now. They are his grandparents, after all.”
“Of course. I should have thought of that. I’ll ask him and then we’ll get your approval.”
“I think I can give approval right now,” he said, smiling at her and brushing her cheek with a kiss. He looked into her eyes and the moment changed. He pulled her to him, to wrap his arms around her and really kiss her until she made him stop.
“Whoa, Nick. Your house has staff and Cody’s running around. The hall isn’t private.”
“My bedroom will be tonight, and I can’t wait.”
“You’ll have to,” she said. “I’m going to talk to Cody,” she added and left him. She had stopped him, but her heart still raced and she couldn’t stop that as easily.
Luckily the rest of the afternoon was taken up with party preparations, so she was too busy to get waylaid by tempting kisses.
Late in the afternoon Nick offered to get Cody ready for the party, so she handed over his clothes and left the two of them while she went to dress. It was a dinner party, and the first time she would meet some of his family—and she barely knew his parents. She’d chosen to wear a deep scarlet, long-sleeved dress with a round neck and matching high-heeled pumps.
Brushing her hair, she let it fall around her face. She fastened both the necklace from Nick and the bracelet, looking at the charm of the man and the woman holding a child’s hands. She shook her head. That would not be her with Cody and Nick. She suspected when she went home this time, other than Christmas, she would see little of Nick except to work out arrangements for Cody, something she dreaded more each day.
When she walked into the family room and Nick’s gaze flashed over her, she saw the approval in his eyes. “You look great.”
She turned to her son first. “Cody, you look very nice,” she said, her gaze going over his blue sweater and navy slacks. The gold Junior Sheriff badge was pinned to his sweater.
“And so do you, Dad,” she said, taking in his navy sport jacket over a long-sleeved pale blue shirt and navy slacks. He would be the best-looking Milan in the room.
Promptly at six the doorbell rang, and in minutes Nick’s parents entered. They had another gift in their hands and she was certain it was for Cody.
He dutifully shook hands with Peter again and let Evelyn hug him. “Cody, we brought you a present,” she said, as her husband held out the box.
“Thank you,” he answered politely, glancing at Claire and she nodded.
“Open your present, Cody.”
He tore off the paper and opened the box to pull out a stuffed hippo. Grinning, Cody clutched the hippo in his arms. “Thank you, Grandmother,” he said and turned to Judge Milan. “Thank you, Granddad.”
“You’re very welcome,” Peter said, smiling broadly. Judge Milan sat on a chair and leaned forward toward Cody. “Cody, we’re so happy to have you call us Granddad and Grandmother. That’s very, very nice.”
“Yes, sir.”
“You have raised the sweetest little boy who is so well-mannered,” Evelyn said. She dabbed at her eyes, which surprised Claire. “I love him already and thank you for any time you share him with us. He’s a wonderful child.”
“Thank you. And thank you for the hippo for him. He’ll love it.”
The doorbell rang and in minutes Jake and Madison Calhoun entered. Nick crossed the room, taking Cody with him. “Claire, this is my sister Madison and her husband, Jake Calhoun. Meet Claire and my son, Cody,” Nick said.
“We’ve met at an art gallery in Houston and it’s nice to see you again, Claire,” Madison said. “And you, too, Cody. What do you have in your arms?”
“My hippo. My grandmother and my granddad gave it to me.”
“Referring to Mom and Dad,” Nick said.
“I figured that much,” Madison said, laughing. “Mom is beside herself with joy about Cody,” she said. “I can see why. Nick, your son looks exactly like you.”
“I think so,” Nick said smiling. “Here come Wyatt and Destiny.”
Wyatt greeted Claire with a big smile. “I hope you had a good time at the ranch.”
“Cody has never had so much fun.”
In short order she met Wyatt’s wife, Destiny, a beautiful woman in a dramatic black dress with red trim. Then Nick’s younger brother, Tony crouched down to talk to Cody. He took his nephew’s hand after a moment and they walked away with Tony talking to him.
“He’s a Pied Piper with kids and animals,” Nick said. “Maybe he gets on their level, I don’t know. He’s single and he doesn’t know beans about kids, but they love him.”
She smiled, watching Cody with Tony as Cody laughed.
In a short time she began to feel she knew Nick’s family better. She realized he had good relationships with his siblings and they saw each other fairly often. She also saw he was very close to his dad, who could be charming. Nick, in his way, was as close to his family as she was to hers. He had never had to take care of any of his, or be responsible for them, so he saw that differently.
Everyone was interested in Cody, who seemed to be having a good time with all the adult attention.
With Douglas serving, they ate in Nick’s spacious dining room. During dinner, Jake clinked his glass for quiet and everyone became silent as Madison spoke. “I want to take this time to make one announcement that I hope does not in any way detract from the joy of meeting Claire and Cody—Jake and I are expecting. I’m due next July.”
Everyone clapped and cheered as she sat down and then dinner continued. Again, Claire couldn’t keep from comparing how the Milan family was enthused over the expected baby and how there had not been a word from any of them during her pregnancy. Basically, it had been her fault for not telling Nick about the baby, but if they had known, at that time there would not have been applause and cheers. She glanced at Nick and was surprised to see him looking at her. She wondered if he shared her thoughts.
The party was fun because Nick’s siblings enjoyed each other. Once during the evening she looked over to see Cody sitting in Judge Milan’s lap as the judge showed Cody a trick. The impact wasn’t lost on her. Changes were already taking place in her life, she realized. But at the same time she was pleased that his grandparents liked her son and glad he liked them, as well.
When Nick’s parents left at nine, Evelyn hugged Claire. “Thank you for telling us we can come visit Cody in Houston.”
“I meant what I said. We’d love to have you, and you’re more than welcome to stay at my house. I have a big home and that would make Cody happy.”
“That is so sweet, Claire. We’ll take you up on the offer soon.”
As his mother headed toward the door, Claire looked beyond her to see Nick watching her with a solemn expression. As she closed the door behind his parents, Nick stepped close. “So, they get to visit and stay at your house and I don’t.”
“It isn’t quite the same, but you can stay. I may not be there, but Grandma will be happy to have you.”
“That isn’t quite the same, either,” he said. After a moment he shook his head. “Anyway, thanks for being so gracious to my parents.”
“They’re my son
’s grandparents and I think he’s going to love them,” she said, turning to walk away. She let Cody stay up until ten, but then she put him to bed and rejoined the others.
By the time the last couple left it was almost midnight. As Nick watched them drive away, he draped his arm across her shoulders. “Everyone loved Cody and each one was happy to see you. It was a great night. Now, let’s go in. Finally I get to be alone with you,” he said, closing the door and heading to his suite. “Claire, you were wonderful tonight and so was Cody. Both of you charmed my family. My parents are shocking in their reaction to Cody, because I never expected them to be this way. You know, when I mentioned to them that when I live in Austin they won’t see Cody, they both looked unhappy.”
Surprised, she stared at Nick. “Your dad, too?”
“Even my dad,” he replied with a nod of his head. “The other thing is, I hadn’t really noticed age changing them until tonight. Dad is more mellow, less energetic, but he’s changed, and now with Cody I think they’re both changing more.”
Continuing to stare at Nick, she wondered how much their reactions would influence Nick. “Nick, if your dad is unhappy about you living in Austin when the legislature is in session, that’s a huge change.”
“You and Cody have turned my world, and maybe theirs, upside down. Upside down for the good,” Nick said, looking intently at her. Her heart missed a beat. Was there any chance of Nick changing his political ambitions? Had the time spent at the ranch with Cody caused him to look at his life differently? A bigger question loomed in her mind. Was there a chance of Nick falling in love?
Before she could pursue a response, Nick closed the door to his suite and turned to her. “Now, let’s forget family, the evening, everything except you and me. I’ve been waiting all day for this moment,” he said, leaning down to kiss her. Held in his crushing embrace, she forgot everything else except Nick as she returned his kisses.
Long after Nick had fallen asleep, she remained awake, thinking about this past week and their future. She was in love with Nick, and his thoughtfulness, his growing love for Cody, his lovemaking, everything between them was making that love stronger and she couldn’t deal with another hurt that would be bigger than when they had parted before he married.
She had to put distance between them or risk a giant hurt—a hurt that would involve Cody this time.
She needed to distance herself from Nick. Lust was not the same as love and there was no future in it.
Nick had his future mapped out, and it did not include marriage to her any more now than it had four years ago.
As difficult as it was going to be, she had to stop what was superficial and meaningless between them because she couldn’t be intimate with Nick without losing her heart, but he could easily be enveloped in lust and not have his heart involved.
Tears burned her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. She wiped them away and tried to get a grip on her emotions. She already loved him and she already hurt, but it could get worse and maybe she could save herself a bigger hurt. She should put an end to seeing him every time Cody did.
It was four in the morning when she pulled on a robe and faced Nick as she stood beside the bed. “I’m going to my room. You think about how we can work out sharing Cody. Your family will want to know him and you’ll want time with him. You come up with a plan and we’ll go from there.”
Nick pulled the sheet around his waist and got up, walking around the bed to place his hands on her shoulders. She stood looking up at him, trying to focus while she was aware of his bare, muscled chest, his broad shoulders, only the sheet low on his hips as they faced each other. She had to resist him, but it was growing more difficult by the day.
“I’ll do that. I’m not in a rush and I know it will take time to work things out. He’s too little to come see me without you unless I come get him.”
She shook her head. “I’m not coming to see you along with him, and I don’t think you’d want that either. You think about what you want. This can’t keep on. My emotions get caught up in intimacy, so in a way, this is goodbye between us. I’ll still see you with Cody and family around, but that’s all, Nick. Your life is set and so is mine and they don’t fit together. We have to stop before we both get hurt badly again.”
“What you’re saying makes sense, but I don’t want to say goodbye, Claire.”
“We don’t have a future—you and I—and I’m not going to continue to sleep with you occasionally when we’re together. I get my emotions entangled. This is a private goodbye to intimacy, to moments alone or dinners out or dates. We’ll just get hurt again otherwise.” She turned and walked away to go to her own room.
* * *
Sunday after Nick put them on the plane he waved as it taxied away. Claire and Cody were at the window and both waved. He hated to see them go, feeling as if part of his heart was being ripped away. It startled him how empty he felt with Claire and Cody gone. He had learned to live alone the past two years, but now life loomed like one big void and he wanted Claire with him. Her goodbye had hurt. The thought of her going out of his life again—except for brief moments—seemed unbearable. The realization startled him. How deep did his feelings for her run?
As he drove home, he thought about his parents and their plans to visit Claire in Houston. They’d never been interested in getting to know her before. He thought, too, about their unhappy looks when he mentioned living in Austin. For the first time, Nick wondered if his dad would rather he didn’t pursue a political career.
Claire’s question echoed in his mind. Had he pursued politics for himself or for his dad?
Nick watched the road and turned into the drive, stopping before going through the gates. He felt as if his life had been built on shifting sand and he wasn’t certain where he stood any longer. How deep were his feelings for Claire? Had he been consumed by lust or did he really want her as a part of his life outside his bedroom?
He didn’t know the answers. He only knew he’d better figure it out soon.
As soon as he arrived home, he got out his cell phone to catch up on all the calls he had missed and pour himself into work. He tried to get back into his regular routine, but he couldn’t keep his mind on work and he finally shoved it aside to think about how they would share Cody. DC wouldn’t come up for several years, but he would be in Austin most of the time from January until June, when his term was over. He thought about Claire’s family and the care she continued to give them, plus the company she ran now with three offices in the Houston area. He sat thinking about her ties and his own, comparing them, and in minutes he was lost, remembering this past week on the ranch and the fun they’d had, the joy he’d felt watching Cody.
Maybe it was just because he had told Claire and Cody goodbye this morning that he was unhappy and missed them so much.
He thought Monday would be better, when he was back at work and busy.
But as he dressed for work the next morning, he was lost again in memories of Claire. Nick missed her. He walked to his bedroom to stare at his bed and remembered Claire in his arms. How right and good it had felt. He couldn’t fathom not making love to her again. He missed her each time he had said goodbye to her, but the past two times, before she came to the ranch, he knew he would be with her again within days. Now he faced a future in which he would just see her briefly as he picked up Cody or took him home. And maybe not even then. He might just see her grandmother or the nanny.
What were his feelings for her now?
Life had been great on the ranch with Claire and Cody there. Now he felt empty without her, hopeless, hurt beyond words. He’d tried to guard his heart against falling for Claire, even telling himself it was impossible to fall in love with her a second time. He’d let himself have fun with her, allowed himself to bed her, thinking his heart had been secure.
But he’d been wrong.
T
o hurt this badly over her goodbye, he realized, he had to be in love with her. And he might be losing the best possible life and the best possible woman for reasons that wouldn’t ever bring him real happiness.
He was in love, and he’d better do something about it.
He pulled out his phone to call her, but when he heard a recorded message he put away his phone. “Claire.” He whispered her name, wanting her, missing her and wishing he could conjure her up before him. He didn’t want to lose her this time. But how could they work out getting together now when they couldn’t do it four years ago?
Would Claire yield on any part of her life to try to be together, or did she even care? What could he change to make her happy? There had to be a way to work things out, but this time he’d better be certain about what he really wanted in life and what he could give up.
Would a political career be worth losing her? Even if he wanted to be a rancher, the only way to get Claire in his life was to move to Houston.
Was there any way to move Claire and keep her happy about the move? He crossed to his desk to make a list of all the things in Houston that were important to her. He stared blankly at the paper, sorting through all kinds of possibilities. There had to be a way...
* * *
Monday, Claire called in to say she would be late to the office. She didn’t feel like concentrating on work. She missed Nick, and it surprised her how much. She missed his flirting and his companionship, and she missed the hours of passion. She loved him more than she had when she was younger. She had thought she was over the heartbreak when he came back into her life. Instead, she was more drawn to him than ever, while it was less likely they could ever get together as a couple. Yet she would have to see him because of their son.
She was going to have to discuss sharing Cody, but she’d told Nick to get a plan. He was the one who wanted changes, so he could come up with something and she would have to try to work with him.