There's No Such Thing As Monsters: Gaslamp Faeries Series, Book 1

Home > Other > There's No Such Thing As Monsters: Gaslamp Faeries Series, Book 1 > Page 8
There's No Such Thing As Monsters: Gaslamp Faeries Series, Book 1 Page 8

by Ren Ryder


  “Hey! Let. Me. Go! You stupid sack of flesh!”

  A manly scream followed Bell’s demands.

  Bell had bitten a chunk out of the hand that’d restrained her, and was in the midst of puking rainbows. “Ew, gross— disgusting human tastes rotten! What a ripoff!”

  I tried and failed to suppress a smile. Bell had fulfilled her role perfectly.

  A sharp cry from behind me was all the warning I got before a gleaming black broadsword hurtled downward on a collision path with my skull. No doubt it would split me open like a watermelon if the blow connected. I didn’t have the space or speed to get out of the way, so I grasped at straws— and flipped open the six-inch switchblade before swinging it into the hunk of metal’s path.

  Sparks flew and pain ripped through my left forearm, where a slice of flesh had been sliced-torn off. My breath came in short, ragged gasps as I leapt off the broadsword buried in the earth and slashed with my switchblade.

  The burly hound tsked and released his hold on his weapon to remove himself from the reach of my blade. He drew a Morningstar strapped to his side and menaced me with that instead.

  I gritted my teeth to duck, weave, and pivot my body in order to narrowly avoid a series of furious blows. If I attempted a fancy parry like the way I’d batted aside the broadsword, the Morningstar would snap or shatter my weapon. I used my superior speed to phase by my opponent, dragging a deep furrow in his side with my switchblade as I passed by.

  As my previous foe stumbled and groaned with a hand held to the wound in his side, I shot off toward the man wielding a short sword as he closed in on me. He’d rubbed his bloodied hand across his face and over his weapon and finished muttering something under his breath just before we collided. His tattooed forearms began to glow with an eerie light, and black veins rose across every inch of visible skin.

  On instinct I lashed out with my aural cloak, cracking it like a whip. That was when something incredible happened. The sword-wielding hound caught my weaponized mana with a black-veined hand and grasped it tight. Inhumanly strong, he pulled me off my feet and into the path of his blade.

  “Little help!” I screamed as the short sword pared my flesh like a knife through ripe fruit.

  “I guess I have to~” Bell lamented.

  The area of my chest over my heart grew hot and a shockwave of air blasted out from me, tossing the three men away from me like cartwheeling ragdolls. I landed on my feet gracelessly. I stayed standing where I was, dazed. I heaved and held my left shoulder, where the sword had nearly cleaved through the collarbone and into my vitals. Cold, nauseating pain beat through me with every breath.

  “What in gods name was that?”

  “Uh, duh, magic~” Bell waved her hands like a street performer, but her voice was deadpan.

  “No, not that, that,” I nodded my head since my good hand was occupied with staunching the bleeding, and even little movements of the other pained my shoulder.

  Bell made a face and wiped her tongue clean with her hands. “That’s sacrificial blood magic— no wonder he tasted so bad. It’s a subset of dark magic.”

  Stars danced in my vision. “I don’t— I don’t feel so good.” Waves of nausea and dizziness swept through me. I licked my lips and tasted iron; both my nostrils were bleeding.

  “Oh, that’s because I forced you to release most of your mana all at once. It’s super dangerous,” Bell said offhandedly. “I’m sorta surprised you didn’t explode, but, who knows, it might’ve caused a bunch of ruptures inside your body.”

  Did she have to sound so damn cheerful about the prospect?

  “Explode?! You trying to kill me?!” I swiped at the faery in hopes of catching her and wrangling her neck, but she floated leisurely outside the path of my swing.

  Bell yawned and deposited herself into the pocket of my coat. “No need to be so testy, you were going to die, right? So I see this as a marked improvement! There wasn’t time for anything fancy anyways.”

  With an effort of will, I forced my body to do my bidding. I was as good as dead if I passed out here, and besides, I had things to do.

  Stumbling slightly, I made my way over to the closest body, the one that’d used the blood magic on me. His limbs were splayed at unnatural angles. More than one looked broken. The bone in his right leg was sticking out of his skin.

  And yet, he fixed me with a defiant stare and grinned— grinned at me! “We’ll find that little girl you’re protecting. It’s only a matter of time.”

  First I kicked the hunter in the head until he was out cold, then I relieved him of his scabbard and sword belt. After strapping it around my own waist, I took his short sword and sheathed it so it rested on the left side of my body.

  Grimacing, I tore off the black-and-red bandana from his face and tied it as tight as I could around my shoulder to make a makeshift tourniquet. It staunched the bleeding. I found Ouroboros’s serpent tattoo on his body and dragged my switchblade across it in a big “X” mark.

  Satisfied, I did the same for the others, stomping on a limb here and landing a good kick in the ribs there, making doubly sure these men would stay down. My main goal, though, was to send a message. I made sure to X out their Ouroboros marks, then I grabbed the Morningstar and broke every bladed weapon I could find.

  The bandolier of throwing knives I took for myself, after recovering the fallen one that had nicked me in the side, just below the ribs.

  After I was done, I studied my handiwork with a critical eye, exhausted and nauseous but satisfied. I found my pack halfway up the earthen embankment at the roadside. With difficulty, I shrugged into it and adjusted the weight to rest most of it on my good shoulder. Wiping my hands of the whole affair, I squinted, then sneezed at the dawning sun while tired thoughts circled around and around in my head.

  Chapter Ten

  My eyelids felt like they had a layer of concrete over them when I cracked them open. It was the dead of night. I groaned and cradled my aching head; it felt like it’d been slammed between two boulders. I rubbed my temples with my forefingers and tried to think happy thoughts. I was really not a morning person.

  Not that it’s morning, technically, but, oh, you know what I mean!

  Bell pouted an inch from my face. “Oh, darn, you’re awake! What a buzzkill, I was really hoping you’d croak.”

  I shrugged and immediately regretted it. “Sorry to disappoint, but I can’t die, not ’til I see this through.” Pain shot through my shoulder and down my arm.

  Bell’s incisors gleamed along with her smile. “You’re such a spoilsport sometimes, Kal.”

  With a grunt I levered myself into an awkward sitting position, my legs crossed. I leaned my weight back against a rough surface. Covering my mouth, I yawned and looked around.

  I realized then that something was off. I was sure— as sure as sure could be— that this wasn’t the place I’d fallen asleep. I wasn’t even sure this was the same dimension.

  Butterflies fluttered in my stomach. “Where in the world are we?”

  “Not your world, Otherworld,” Bell corrected primly, suddenly the schoolteacher.

  The rough surface I’d leaned up against was a tree trunk covered in bioluminescent moss. I was smack in the middle of a grove of enormous trees, all larger and more ancient-looking than any I’d ever laid eyes on.

  There was a pervasive sense of bountiful life, and I breathed deeply of it.

  “You’re trying to say I’m not dreaming, then?” I asked.

  Bell scoffed. “No, this is not a dream.”

  A pool of deep, crystal clear water caught my eye, and I scrambled to its rocky edge. I unlimbered my borrowed weapons, then shrugged out of my makeshift bandages and clothes before washing myself thoroughly. The biting chill from the water for some reason warmed me, spreading glorious relief throughout my aching body.

  My mana thrummed inside me. Horrible itching started up in my side, forearm, and at my shoulder. I looked around in sudden alarm, only to find my wounds sti
tching themselves back together. Soon red, puckered, but whole, flesh replaced what had been debilitating injuries only a moment ago.

  I stared in shock. “What is this?”

  “Haven’t you ever seen a healing pool?” Bell’s tone was derogatory, like she was speaking to a country bumpkin.

  Rude.

  “No, no I haven’t.” I rolled my eyes and stuck out my tongue at her. “… more importantly, why are we here?”

  “Oh, right! I have some news I totally didn’t forget to tell you before! Queen Titania has invited you to an audience! Huh, now that I think about it… you should get going, else she might decide it’s more amusing to eat you than talk to you once you get there.”

  “Uhm, I’m sorta in the middle of a one-man war with Ouroboros— I don’t have time to lallygag around in this sparkly faery realm.”

  I waved my hand to indicate said sparkling surroundings. The reflected light was so bright, I had to squint to see properly.

  “You sure about that? I mean, if you’re sure, you’re sure… it’s your funeral,” Bell said, and shrugged.

  Does she want me to kick the bucket that badly?

  I shrugged and redressed myself, replacing articles of clothing and weapons one by one until I was fully kitted out. “What if I don’t want to meet this scary lady? She sounds dangerous.”

  “The queen invited you to an audience! You don’t have the right to refuse!” Bell screamed at me.

  Geez, who would’ve thought Bell was a stickler for protocol?

  “Alright, alright. No need to get your panties in a twist, I’m going, I’m going!”

  I stopped, spun around, then amended myself, “I seem to be lost.”

  “You’re absolutely hopeless without me, you know that?” Bell turned haughty, crossing her arms and looking down on me from above.

  Great. Just great. As if she wasn’t already the absolute pits to deal with.

  Bell led me along thin dirt trails through a confusing, tangled maze of enormous interwoven branches that had me lost and turned around almost as soon as we left the healing pool behind us. I realized I was in a foreign, alien land, that had customs and common sense that I would be at a loss to understand.

  Maybe Bell has the right to be smug.

  We passed a field of flowers bursting with brilliant color. Animals big and small frolicked without a care.

  Through a grove of trees we went, crimson, golden, and silver eyes tracking our progress as we passed through the clearing.

  We ascended above that dense sea of eyes, up a seemingly endless staircase made from living wood.

  The blunt force of a powerful bloodthirst made me lose my balance mid-stride. I tried to pinpoint where it was coming from, but it was no use. There were hundreds, or even thousands of eyes on me. There was no way to pick out one set from amongst the rest, so I continued on my way while trying to show no weakness that could be exploited.

  Our final destination was a breathtaking hyperbolic chamber formed from leaves and branches. White-and-silver flowers shone with an inner brilliance that lit the enclosed space like stars. And, amidst all that splendor, sat upon a throne of living branches, was a picture of feminine grace and beauty that transcended the ages.

  Despite being essentially stranded in another world with only Bell to rely on, I felt a pervasive sense of peace and interconnectedness with the world around me. Had I been in mortal danger at that very moment, I doubted I could react with violent intentions.

  “This is Titania, queen regent of the realm,” Bell whispered frantically in my ear. “Address her as Mother, or Queen, or Your Eminence.”

  “Ah, you’ve arrived then— you are the one known as Kal, yes? I do hope you’ve arrived here refreshed and unaccosted?” Titania asked. Her look suggested she already knew the answers to all her questions before she asked them.

  For awhile I just stood there, mouth agape, the height of rudeness. Such was her breadth and depth that my stomach dropped out from beneath me and I experienced sudden vertigo.

  I hallucinated standing on a cliff’s edge upon a mountaintop overlook, envisioning a brilliant sunrise. I was transported to the depths of the sea where an ever-warm river of magma jetted out of a vent and lit up the dark seabed in a blaze of glory. Her visage was sublime, divine even.

  I blinked, and with that, returned to my senses. “Thank you for having me, Your Eminence.”

  The queen’s poise was regal, absolute. “Ah, no need to stand on formalities, little dove.” Titania shooed away the need for propriety, “Kal, my child, you may address me by name if you so desire— you have the right.”

  A commanding, strident tone crept into Titania’s previously soft, welcoming voice and I practically jumped out of my skin. “Daughter of Eurius, the Lord of the East and Herald of Storms— to what do I owe the pleasure of our meeting here today? I see you’ve not grown much since I last saw you, at the Midsummer Banquet was it?”

  Bell curtsied gracefully midair beside me. “My queen, may the winds ever favor you. Wherever Kal goes, I go— we’re inseparable!” She giggled, and behind the back of the queen of all faeries, she stuck her tongue out at her.

  She stuck her tongue out at her!

  “You— what did you say?”

  That’s odd. I detect a clear note of displeasure— does she have a beef with Bell, or with her father, the Lord of the East and Herald of Storms?

  “May the winds ever favor you?” Bell suggested, all sickly-sweet innocence.

  “Not that, the other part!” Titania was practically fuming, she was so irate.

  “Oh, thattt! You shoulda said so sooner! Kal-baby and me, we’re two peas in a pod, familiar and contractor— you couldn’t tear us apart if you wanted to! Tehee~” Bell shot me a thumbs up.

  Idiot! Why is she antagonizing her?

  “Fine, so be it! Be that as it may, I’ll be sure to have a word with your father about this,” Titania said while drumming her nails upon her living throne, as if refusing to let the matter pass without getting in her own dig.

  Am I imagining things, or is the queen pouting?

  With a dainty cough, the faerie queen turned to address me. Titania indicated my body with a violently pointed finger. “I see humanity’s resourcefulness hasn’t changed, and that it continues to poison and pollute all it touches.

  “Are those weapons you carry with you, in my presence?” Titania’s features were contorted in disgust, and yet they remained pretty regardless.

  Lying to a powerful faerie is a big N-O, right?

  “Uhm, yes?” I asked.

  “Might I have a look?”

  I swallowed hard and nodded. “Of course.”

  Was disguising demands as questions a requirement of royalty?

  I unlimbered the bandolier of throwing blades from around my body and laid each of them on the ground. I unsheathed the short sword and put it down next to the rest.

  I nodded and backed up from the lot. “That’s most everything I’ve got on me.”

  Titania fixed me with a prickly stare that gave me the shivers before bending over in her throne to get a closer look. She made no move to pick them up.

  “An unusual coloration, but merely utilitarian in nature. Those who carried these abominations operated in darkness, and so clothed their weapons in it, perhaps.”

  Titania bent ever closer, as if drawn in by gravity, then, with a suddenness that made me twitch, drew away. “Iron— and these blades, they’re absolutely disgusting, forged for and imbued with the sole purpose of killing my ilk.”

  As rumor has it, faeries mix with iron as well as oil does with water. I guess the rumor’s true.

  “I advise you to divest yourself of this cursed metal, all of it. I would have you remove these from my realm, get rid of them, bury them so that no other may happen upon them.”

  “To tell the truth the stuff gives me the hebejeebes, but I can’t complain about their effectiveness. I’ve experienced the effects firsthand after all,” I said, r
ubbing my still smarting side and shoulder, and smiling winsomely.

  I didn’t much care to carry weapons, especially those intended to kill me, but I’d grown rather fond of these so-called cursed blades. That held especially true for the switchblade strapped to my waist behind my back, hidden beneath my cloak.

  “Yes, I’m sure that was… unpleasant. Please do consider my request, child,” Titania spoke pointedly, gently reminding me of my failure to respond to said entreaty.

  “My apologies, Your Eminence, for bringing along such an inauspicious metal— I’ll make sure every last piece leaves this realm, when I return from this… Otherworld.”

  Not that I had much of a chance to divest myself of the stuff.

  I bowed beneath the ruler of the realm and shakily rearmed myself in her presence. Now that I understood the many-layered slight I’d made, my stomach was positively aflutter with anxiety at how I’d be received by the queen.

  “Yes… once you… return. Now then,” Titania clapped, causing the lighted surroundings to blink in turn, “Let us move onto the true purpose of this meeting then, shall we?”

  Titania bowed to me from her seat, and I gulped fearfully at the sight. “You have saved no small number of my clansman from those wretched humans, and for that you have my thanks.”

  I bowed back, as deep as I could and not fall flat on my face. “No, I believe I have you to thank for providing me with an opportunity to rest my body and heal my wounds.”

  An unexpected, airy slap landed on my cheek. “Kal, you dummy! You’ve as good as recognized you owe her a life debt with those words!”

  “Thanks for the lecture— it came a little late, don’t you think?” I hissed at Bell under my breath.

  “By the way, faeries don’t like being called faeries— saying that to their faces is quite rude! We are known as the Fair Folk, the Good People, the Gentry, the Little Folk, the Honest Folk, the Hill People, The Good Neighbors, the Men of Peace… among other things— just not faeries!”

  I found myself acting somewhat childishly, rolling my eyes at the sylph behind an upraised hand that blocked the queen’s view.

 

‹ Prev