The days were blurring into weeks, and the weeks were whizzing past. There was nothing I could do about it. I couldn’t stop time, no matter how much I wished I could. So I stayed hidden. Invisible from the people who knew me best.
I huffed out a breath and placed my hand on my stomach as the baby kicked as I stared out at the driveway. The two chairs on the small porch had been here when we first arrived, and I often took to sitting in one of them and staring out at the trees that surrounded us. We weren’t entirely off the beaten path, but we were a little way back. The closest house to us was a three-minute walk, and it was Leopold’s large two-story house. I’d walked there and back so many times I’d actually timed it.
Leopold wasn’t just my boss, he’d also become my friend, especially when I was alone in the evening. There was only so much thinking I could do until I drove myself crazy.
The sun was starting to go down in the sky, and I couldn’t help but smile as the colors mixed, creating a pastel watercolor effect that I couldn’t take my eyes off. I’d learned to see the beauty in things since I’d been here. The smell of the fresh trees, the silence surrounding us, the way the sunlight beamed through the branches and leaves, and the lush green starting to turn into autumnal colors. It was fast approaching, much like everything was at the moment.
Silence was peaceful, but also deafening. I’d learned that a long time ago. I used to feel like I needed to fill the quiet with something, but now I embraced it. Silence was the world’s way of making you stop and think.
I jumped as the front door banged shut, and Curtis appeared. He didn’t say a word as he sat in the chair beside me and stared up at the sky. Finally, he asked, “Want to go to the diner before my shift at the bar?” My stomach grumbled at his words, and he chuckled. “I’ll take that as your answer.”
I smiled over at him, getting lost in his dark eyes and wondering how he felt. We hadn’t spoken about why I’d run away, not since I’d told him those three words in the car. Ford is dead. The memory had goose bumps spreading on my arms, and I ran my palms over the skin, trying to warm myself up, but it was impossible. I couldn’t keep thinking about the past, not now. I had to look to the future, I just wasn’t sure what my future actually was.
“Let me put my shoes on.”
“‘K,” Curtis murmured, and watched me as I entered the cabin. The cabin was small, but at least it had two bedrooms. The living room and kitchen were one room, separated by a wooden arch and a small dining table with four chairs. It reminded me of the apartment I’d shared with Stella, and as soon as that thought sprung to mind, I shoved it aside. Just another thing I refused to think about.
I walked toward the back hallway—one door at the end, and two opposite each other. The one on the left was my room. It was tiny, with only just enough room for a single bed and the built-in closet, but it was enough for me. I’d managed to get myself some new clothes, some tennis shoes, and a pair of ballet flats because I’d left with only my cell and fifty dollars in my pocket. It was reckless, I knew that, but I hadn’t been thinking at the time. All I’d needed was to get out of there.
I pushed my feet into my ballet flats and stared at myself in the mirror. The leggings I wore were one of two pairs that fit me, and the oversized tank top covered two-thirds of my bump. And as if on cue, the baby kicked me. If there was one thing that got me through each day, it was the tiny human growing inside me. If it weren’t for that, I wasn’t sure I would have survived the last five months. I was strong for the person I was bringing into this world, and I’d always be strong for it.
So many things had been taken away from me: Stella and Justin, my freedom, the feeling of safety I always relied on. But not one of them compared to losing Ford. He’d been my constant since I was a little girl. He was always there whenever I needed him, and even when I didn’t. But now I felt like I was floating on the wind, trying to find a branch to grab on to, but none of them were strong enough to hold me and all the baggage attached.
“Belle?” Curtis shouted, and I jumped from the sound of his voice. I was still staring in the mirror, but I hadn’t noticed the silent tears streaming down my cheeks. I hadn’t felt the wetness on my skin, but I could feel the pain deep down, so deep it had burrowed its way inside, and I feared it would never leave. It was part of me now, just as much as the baby was.
I shook my head and swiped at my face angrily. I shouldn’t have been thinking about the past. I shouldn’t have been thinking about anything but what was right in front of me—going to the diner and filling up my empty stomach.
So I did just that.
I made small talk with Curtis on the quick drive into town, and when we pulled up outside the diner, I got out and smiled at him. It didn’t matter what I was feeling inside. All that mattered was putting on a brave face. The longer I faked it, the quicker I’d make it real. At least, that was what I kept telling myself.
We made our way to our favorite booth in the back corner, next to the window. It was where we’d taken to sitting, and sometimes I wondered if we chose this spot because, subconsciously, we were leaving room for the two people who were no longer with us. Curtis slipped in opposite me, and I couldn’t help but see Stella’s face. The four of us had always filled up a booth, but now there were only two left, which meant the booth would always be half empty.
“Hey,” Curtis murmured, and his hand landed over mine on the table. I flicked my gaze up at him and hoped my eyes weren’t shining with more tears threatening to fall, but whatever I was thinking, he must have been thinking the same, because he smiled sadly and squeezed my hand. “It’s hard without them.”
I nodded, not sure I trusted myself to say anything and not break down completely. I wanted to blame the hormones, but the reality was, I wasn’t over everything that had happened. I liked to tell myself I was, but I wasn’t.
“I wonder if they found out who did it,” Curtis said, his voice sounding far away. His dark eyes met mine, and something swirled inside of them. I had no idea if they had found who killed them, but I was hoping they had.
“Maybe,” I managed to whisper. I pushed my shoulders back and leaned my head on the booth. “I don’t want to think about it,” I told Curtis. I had to go back to the cabin on my own after this, and if all my mind was focused on was Stella and Justin, I’d spend the entire time I was alone worrying about what would happen if they hadn’t caught who did it.
“Okay,” Curtis said, his hand still covering mine. “Let’s talk about something else.” He flicked his gaze out of the window and then back to me as the waitress halted at the edge of our table.
“Hey, Curtis,” she greeted, her voice sickly sweet, and I stared at her. She was watching him like he was a piece of pie, and she was desperate to have a taste. Sandy wasn’t the most inconspicuous of people, and I knew she spent her nights at the bar when Curtis was working. It didn’t bother me one bit, although part of me wished it did, because then at least I could have another emotion apart from the sadness encompassing me.
“Sandy,” Curtis ground out, his gaze clashing with mine. I wondered if he was searching for any jealousy too? Was he hoping I’d say something about the way she flirted with him? The entire town knew that Curtis wasn’t my baby’s father, but I was sure they had suspicions of what we did in our cabin.
“Can I get the special and a glass of water, please?” I said, and they both stared at me as if I had two heads. I pulled my hand from under Curtis’, and the move shocked him into looking at Sandy. She twirled her golden blond hair around her finger and popped her hip to the side.
“I’ll have the same,” Curtis finally managed to say, but I wasn’t sure what they were doing now because I was staring out of the window at the town. It wasn’t really a town, more like a main road with all the essential stores. The general store sat opposite the diner, and a little way down was the bar Curtis worked at.
I wasn’t sure how long I stared and thought about nothing in particular, but just as Sandy placed o
ur waters on the table, Curtis’ cell rang. I expected him to answer it right away like he usually did, but when it kept ringing, I looked over at him. “You gonna answer that?” I asked, glancing at it. It stopped, and then almost immediately started ringing again.
Curtis huffed, and I raised my brows at him. He seemed annoyed by the call, but as I leaned forward to see the name on the screen, he snatched it up and answered it. “One second,” he said down the line, and he pushed out of the booth at lightning speed.
I sat frowning at him as he exited the diner, and I didn’t lose sight of him when he started to pace on the sidewalk. Placing my chin on my hand, I didn’t look away as he threw one hand in the air and then gripped his hair. I’d never seen Curtis so worked up, and I couldn’t stop watching him, wondering what was going on.
Sandy placed the plates down on the table, but I didn’t turn to look at her, and she didn’t make a move to leave either, just joined me in staring at Curtis. “You know he comes over to my place sometimes, right?”
I shrugged, not caring. “Sounds cool.”
“Just him and me,” she continued. “As in alone.”
“Nice,” I murmured, not giving two hoots about what she was saying. Maybe she thought there was more to Curtis and me, but I couldn’t be bothered to correct her and tell her we were just friends. Friends who lived together. Friends who had escaped here together. And it was only then I wondered if Curtis was escaping something like I was. He hadn’t hesitated to bring me here, and he hadn’t put up a fight to go back home. He’d finished his last year of college, but surely he had a plan. Was he running from something?
Sandy stomped her foot on the floor and spun, leaving her over-the-top flowery scent in her wake, but I continued to stare at Curtis. He spun around, looking directly at me through the diner window, and I tilted my head to the side, seeing him in a slightly different light. I wanted to ask him why he wasn’t going home, but fear of him leaving had me keeping my mouth shut as he put his cell away and walked back inside.
I turned as he entered the diner and looked down at my food. “Sorry about that,” Curtis said as he pushed back into the booth.
“No worries.” I took a sip of my water and glanced at him. “Something important?”
His eyes swirled. “Just my dad again,” he gritted out, and his tone told me he didn’t want to talk about it. But it was the way his shoulders tensed, and his hand shook that told me he was hiding something. I’d grown up around men who kept secrets for a living, and Curtis was keeping one right now, and I wondered if it was new or whether I’d been in my own head so much I hadn’t noticed before.
Maybe he had a girlfriend back home. Maybe his mom was sick again. Or maybe I was overthinking and looking for trouble where there was none.
Chapter Nineteen
BELLE
The wind whipped around me, sending leaves scurrying across the sidewalk as I walked to the doctor’s office. It sat at the end of Main Street, but it wasn’t part of the stores. In fact, you’d have thought it was just another house. Its light brick was broken up by dark-stained wooden paneling between the first- and second-story windows, and only a small, wooden sign a little way back told people it was Dr. Ponts’ office.
I’d had my first visit with the doctor not long after getting here, and since then, I’d seen her every couple of weeks without fail. At first, I was in a daze about it all, but the bigger my bump was getting, the more real everything felt. I only had a matter of weeks until the baby would enter the world, and then it would all be so different.
I moved up the three steps, pushed open the large, heavy door, and stepped inside the hallway. My mind was a whirr of thoughts as I stared down at the terracotta tiles on the floor. The small cracks in them led to the legs of a small desk, which sat empty. I’d only ever seen one person sitting there before, and it was only because three people were waiting to see the doctor and only two chairs in the small waiting nook.
Dr. Ponts’ exam room door was open, and she looked up at me as I went by and waved her hand. “Come straight on it, Belle.” It wasn’t unusual for this to happen, so I swiveled and walked into her room. “How are you doing today?” she asked as I closed the door.
I took a breath as the latch clicked and prepared myself to put on the brave face I was so used to doing when I was out of my little bedroom in the cabin. It was getting harder and harder to act like nothing touched me. In reality, I was falling apart inside and needed help gluing myself back together.
“I’m good,” I murmured and faced her. She was already standing, and I knew the routine we’d created. First, she’d examine me, and then we’d talk. “Want me there?” I asked, pointing to the doctor’s office bed.
“Yes,” Dr. Ponts answered, her thin lips lifting up into a smile. Cynthia had filled me in on the doctor’s history after she’d seen me come out of the building from my first appointment. She’d grown up here and moved away for college, then come back, just like all the good people did—her words, not mine. That was fifteen years ago, and now in her mid-forties, she had two children of her own. That filled me with more confidence than anything. She’d been through this entire thing twice, so having that knowledge always made me feel less alone.
She pulled out a little stool, and I stood on it to get onto the bed. A groan left my lips as I lay flat and the baby moved onto my bladder. I hadn’t been able to sleep on my back for a few weeks, but Dr. Ponts had assured me that was normal. It didn’t feel normal. None of this felt normal.
“My hands are a little cold,” she warned, rubbing them together, and I braced myself as she lifted up my shirt and pressed against my stomach. “This is where the baby’s head is,” Dr. Ponts said, grabbing my hand and placing it at the top of my bump. She pressed lower down and to the side. “Bum is here.” I felt the baby move in response, and I laughed, causing my entire stomach to move up and down.
She pulled my shirt back down and held her hand out to help me up. I wasn’t afraid to admit I used her strength to sit back up, not when I had something the size of a watermelon inside of me. “Everything okay?” I asked. My stomach dipped, but I wasn’t sure whether it was gravity from me getting down off the bed or nerves.
Dr. Ponts moved over to her dark wooden desk and clicked on her old computer. I’d told her several times she should really upgrade, but she told me it worked and that was all she needed. “Everything looks okay so far. I need the usual urine sample.” She passed me a tube and cup, and I took it from her. This was the one part of my life I could rely on.
I moved across the hallway, did the sample, and then went back in to her. She was standing at the sink ready for me, and once she’d tested it, she washed her hands and announced, “Everything is okay with that too. All we need now is—”
“Blood pressure?” I interrupted, sitting down on the chair and rolling my sleeve up for her.
“You know the drill,” Dr. Ponts replied with a chuckle. “You’ll be glad when the baby is here and you don’t have to do this anymore.”
“I’ll be glad when the baby isn’t sitting on my bladder,” I told her, grinning. I may have been nervous about almost everything when it came to having a newborn baby, but I’d be happy when I could pee when I wanted and not every two seconds.
Dr. Ponts took my blood pressure, and with a nod, I knew that was okay too. She sat back behind her desk and clasped her hands on top of it, staring me right in the eyes. “It’s time.”
“Time?” I asked, frowning at her. “Time for what?”
“You’re just under six weeks from your due date, which means we need a solid birth plan in place.” She left that hanging in the air, and I had no idea how to respond. I hadn’t thought I’d still be in Five Oaks to need a birth plan here. In the back of my mind, I imagined everything I’d seen that day was a joke, or maybe a cover-up, and Ford would come and find me. He knew about Curtis, which would mean he could have found me if he was still alive. But he hadn’t. He hadn’t found me, which meant he
really was dead. Every day I was here, it drove the point home that things would never be the same, and I was afraid. Afraid to go home. It would be so different without him.
“I…” I bit down on my bottom lip and pulled in a deep breath, trying to center myself. “I don’t have a plan.”
Dr. Ponts nodded and smiled gently. I was sure she was trying to reassure me, but it was doing nothing. She reminded me so much of my own mom, which was probably why I was so comfortable around her. “That’s okay. We can work one out together.” She leaned forward. “All being well, you’ll have a natural birth.” I blinked at her, trying to take in every word she was saying. “When you think you’re in labor, you call me. I’ll give you my emergency line number.” She pulled a leaflet from her desk drawer and scribbled something on it. “Then I’ll come and examine you, and we’ll go from there.”
She handed me the leaflet, and I took it from her, not really taking in what it had on it. “What about pain relief? And…how will I know I’m in labor?” I gripped the leaflet harder, trying to not throw a thousand questions at her. The routine had been one I relied on, but she was changing it up with this conversation, and it was making my mind spin. “What will happen after you come to me?”
“You’ll know you’re in labor because you’ll be having contractions, or your water will break, or maybe both. If you’re not sure, I’d rather check you over and have it be nothing than to not check and have it be something.” She took a breath as a beep echoed in the office, signaling the front door opening. “In regard to pain relief, we can try to manage your pain until you get to the hospital, after that, they will explain your options in detail.”
She pushed her shoulder-length, dark-brown hair behind her ear and smiled, causing her eyes to crinkle at the corners. “And as for me, I’ll check you over, determine if you’re in labor or not. If you are, then we’ll call up the hospital and let them know you’re coming in.”
Bonded Duet: Ford & Belle: Torn Bond & Tied Bond (Easton Family Duet Boxsets Book 3) Page 23