“Dammit, Lil, this is a new shirt! I was just fucking around. Stop being so sensitive.”
Lilith gingerly picks up the scattered chairs and sits down with all the grace of a ballerina. “Apologize,” she demands flippantly, fluffing her blonde hair to its original perfection.
“Sorry. Shit.” Cain flops back into his own seat, his face red with anger…or embarrassment.
“Not to me.” She waves a manicured hand to where I still stand, eyes wide. “Her.”
“What? I’m not apologizing to some filthy human—”
“Apologize or I’ll cut your nuts off with a butter knife.”
Begrudgingly, Cain turns to me, his mouth fixed in a severe line. He heaves out an aggravated breath and crosses his arms, his bulging biceps lined with veins. “I apologize.”
“For what?” Lilith asks sweetly.
He releases a resigning breath and flares his nostrils like a bull. “For being a dick to you.”
“Good! That’s much better!”
L coughs loudly, a hand cupped over his mouth to stifle his laughter. A low growl from Cain’s side of the table rumbles the floor.
The ruckus seemingly over, Jinn brings over a piping hot bowl of soup and sets it in front of my seat, along with a basket of fresh baked breads. I timidly slink back to my chair, my belly leading the way. The first spoonful nearly scorches my tongue, but it’s worth it. Oh so worth it. Juicy morsels of chicken, tender vegetables, al dente pasta and fresh herbs and spices. I could eat this soup every day for the rest of my life and never tire of it. I pick up a slice of warm bread and dip it into the broth, letting the flavor seep into each nook and cranny. It’s Heaven—actual Heaven—in my mouth.
“I still despise you,” Cain grumbles, watching me like a malnourished hawk.
I finish chewing before gently dabbing my mouth with a cloth napkin. “That’s ok. I don’t particularly like you either. You should really get some help for those anger issues. Roid rage is a serious thing, ya know.” Then I take another bite, my eyes never leaving his.
The redness in Cain’s face seeps into his ears, and his arms flex so tight that his new shirt begins to tear at the biceps. L coughs a little harder.
Jinn returns to the table with another bowl, setting it in front of Cain. A small Band-Aid for his fractured ego. When he turns back towards the kitchen, I swear I see a smile tugging on his lips.
“I know you have questions about why you’re here…and what we plan to do with you,” L says from the head of the table. Again, I sit to his right, wedged between him and Lilith. Phenex sits across from me, those russet eyes emitting calm and serenity.
“I do.” That’s an understatement. I don’t understand any of this. I don’t get why I was chosen to be Called. And furthermore, I don’t get why a band of demon assassins have vowed to protect me.
“Eden, what happened when you were five?”
Warmth leeches from my face despite the warm temperature in the apartment. I look down at my hands knotted in my lap. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“It’s ok, Eden,” Lilith whispers soothingly. She reaches over and unknots my fingers, taking my hand in hers. She’s hot—burning up—just like L. I hadn’t noticed before, but then again, I can’t remember touching her. We only really saw each other at the store where it was always freezing. I’m starting to guess why, and it has nothing to do with Eduardo’s frugalness.
I look up and glance around the table. Seven sets of eager eyes stare back, waiting for me to confirm my fate.
“My mother…she said the only way she could cleanse my soul was to baptize me. One morning, she made me pancakes. I had never had them before. Then she lit candles all around the bathroom. She recited scripture and sang hymns.” I swallow through the tightness in my throat. “She put me in the tub filled with water and held me down. I fought and clawed to get to the surface, but she wouldn’t let go. She wouldn’t let me up. Eventually, I stopped fighting.”
Phenex nods, his mouth in a tight, grim line. “You drowned.”
“Yes.”
“And after?”
“After…” I close my eyes, conjuring the memory that I’d vowed to never unearth. It had been locked up tight, behind chained doors and brick walls. Far beyond forgotten birthdays, freezing nights on a hard cot and empty, roach-infested cabinets. Only two memories sat covered in blankets of dust in that small, dark space. This was one of them. “After I woke up under water, I was cold, pale. But I was alive. And it was nighttime.”
It’s completely silent, save for the beating of one heart. My heart.
“Was there anyone else in the house?” L asks, his voice devoid of its usual timbre.
I shake my head. “No one ever came to visit. The entire neighborhood knew my mother was crazy.”
“Any animals…pets?”
“A dog,” I nod. “A stray. I don’t know why it kept coming around. We didn’t have any food save for the scraps I’d feed it whenever I could spare a little extra. It was my only friend. My mom hated that dog. She must’ve chased it away for good once she thought…once she…” I swallow the bile in my throat, determined to get through it without cracking. Without showing them how irrevocably weak and broken I am. “…thought I was dead.”
L looks to Phenex who nods once in response. They don’t seem surprised at all by my account.
“Eden, you survived because you were inhabited by what we call a Jumper,” the mahogany angel-demon explains. “Your canine companion wasn’t just there for table scraps. She was there to save you.”
“She?” This doesn’t make sense. None of it does. I had just chalked that incident up as one of the many bizarrely tragic occurrences of my life.
“Adriel,” L answers.
I frown and shake my head. Not this shit again. “Look, I told you I don’t know—”
“Adriel is an angel. She had to have fallen in order to find you…in order to save you. She used the dog as a vessel. That’s why it came into your life. She knew…she knew it was only a matter of time. She jumped into your body before it was too late.”
I blink once…twice. Panic fills my lungs, causing each breath to escape in short pants. Angel. Adriel is an angel. Inside me.
“But that…that can’t be.”
“You have abilities you can’t explain. You’re able to bend the wills of humans with just a single word. Why do you think that’s so?”
I shake my head furiously. Lilith gives my hand a comforting squeeze, but I snatch it out of her grasp. “No. No, that’s not possible. None of this is possible.” Angels, demons…it’s ludicrous.
“Eden, we can help you,” Phenex assures. “That’s what we’ve been trying to get you to understand. If you’re Called—if Lucifer activates you while Adriel still inhabits your soul…”
“You’ll have the ability to wipe out mankind,” L concludes, his silver eyes glowing like orbs of moonstone.
“No!” Sweat slickens my palms as I push away from the table and jump to my feet. “You’re wrong!” I scream, desperately trying to believe my own claims.
Accepting their outlandish theory would be accepting that there truly is no good left in the world. Because how could an angel stand by and watch a child suffer? How could an angel endure beating after beating? How could an angel command me to hurt people, deceive people…murder people?
I believed them when they told me I was born with a touch of evil running through my veins. That I could imagine. That I could grasp as an explanation for all the wrong I’ve done. But this? I’m no angel. An angel wouldn’t revel in the suffering of others.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” I say, my voice as hollow as my soul. “You don’t know anything about me and the things I’ve done.”
L climbs to his feet in one swift movement, his fists balled at his sides. He pins me with that starlit stare, swimming with his own ancient pains. “Yes. I do,” he grits, his jaw quivering under the weight of his earnest declaration.
He steps around the table and comes to stand before me, close enough that I can feel his fire. “Yes. I do.”
“How?” I whisper, daring to look at him. Daring to gaze at that devastatingly handsome faced carved of stone and bone.
“Because I once was seraphim,” he pronounces, his all-commanding tone rumbling the floor beneath my socked feet. A blast of sweltering heat radiates around his entire frame, forcing me back. “But now… I… Am… Legion.”
We sit around the table, cloaked in the silent aftermath of truth. No one has spoken in several minutes, yet I can hear their questions. I can feel their probing gazes fixed on me, wondering if I’ll run, scream, cry.
I’m too numb to do any of that.
I open my mouth, but quickly close it, words escaping me. What do you say to one of the most powerful and feared demons in history? To the beast that terrorized innocents and destroyed whole villages? I don’t even know how I can ever look at him again. That wasn’t understanding or hurt swirling in his eyes. It was the ashen faces of many…many…demons that amount to the monster sitting beside me.
“That’s enough for today,” he announces, jumping to his feet as if his chair were on fire. Without a word, he strides to the front door and yanks it open, disappearing into the darkened hall.
“I’ll go,” Cain says, heaving out a sigh. He makes his way towards the exit as the other males quickly scatter, retreating to different areas of the apartment.
I look to Lilith, my brow furrowed in question.
“He feels more than anyone. Hurts more than anyone. When your very being is comprised of dozens of lost souls, your misery becomes interminable. You can’t determine what’s truly you, and what’s them. He’s been fighting for millennia, seeking penance for each one of them. He won’t give up. He thinks…he thinks one day, he’ll somehow make his way back into Heaven. And by saving you, he believes it will help him earn God’s favor and mercy.”
I look towards the closed front door. Not even Legion’s ghost remains.
Lilith, Andras and Toyol head out for the next patrol shift, leaving me with Jinn and Phenex. While the pair doesn’t invoke any more fear than the others do, I turn down Phenex’s offer of a game of chess and resign myself to the confines of Legion’s bedroom. Luckily, Lilith lent me a few books to pass the time.
“This one, you have to read,” she’d beamed, holding up a red hardback book with bold lettering. I touched my fingers to the artwork on the cover—a girl with a swirling tattoo spanning the length of her forearm. It doesn’t look like the tales I usually choose for myself, as I’d always opted for more contemporary reads.
“What’s it about?” I had inquired.
She shook her head. “If I tell you, you won’t read it. Just trust me on this one, ok? Have a little faith.”
She was right. I wouldn’t have read it.
But as I flip through the pages, my eyes eager to absorb every word as my heart flutters in my chest, I’m so glad I took her advice. I lose myself in the fantastical journey, feeling the heroine’s anger, desperation…terror. I even feel a little kernel of something else. Hope. Maybe even love.
“Knock, knock,” Phenex says at the doorway, his face shrouded in shadows. Night has already fallen. I didn’t even realize so much time had passed.
“Hey,” I say with a tight smile.
“I thought I could give you a tour while Jinn prepares dinner. I have to say—I think he likes having you here. It’s not often that he gets to cook three meals a day.”
I save my place with a bookmark and reluctantly slide off the bed. “He doesn’t usually do that?”
Phenex shakes his head. “When we’re not patrolling, we rest or train. Besides, we don’t require sustenance as regularly as humans.”
“Oh. Well, please don’t trouble yourselves on my account. I just had soup not long ago, and I usually don’t eat much.” Or usually have such good food at my disposable.
“No trouble at all. The others will appreciate something warm in their bellies when they get home later tonight. Come. I’ll show you where everything is so you can make yourself at home.”
Home.
This isn’t my home. It will never be my home.
I can’t be certain that I even know what home is.
Phenex leads me down the hallway, stopping at the door closest to Legion’s room. “Here is Lilith and Andras’s quarters,” he explains, waving his hand around the vast space. It’s huge. One side is clearly Lilith’s, decked out in soft pinks and purples and teals. Her section is partitioned by a divider bedecked with twinkle lights, while Andras’s living quarters is separated by an Asian-style screen. Between their respective sections is a grouping of plush, funky-colored chairs, a 65 inch television, bookcases and a desk. A door leading to an en suite bathroom is situated to the left. The setup reminds me of dorm room, if dorms were three times their size and furnished with the finest accoutrements money could buy.
“This building was once a warehouse,” Phenex explains, noting my amazement. “We completely refurbished it and now live on the entire top floor. Below us, in this building, there’s a bar, a restaurant and a couple boutiques.”
No wonder this place is so big. They have an entire block to live on.
Across from Lilith and Andras’s room is Phenex and Jinn’s living area. The set-up is pretty much the same, although the décor is starkly different. While the blonde demons adorned their space with colors and textures and finery, Jinn and Phenex had kept theirs fairly simple, opting for muted earth tones and rich woods. There is no television, I note, however, the common area is filled with wall-to-wall books. Every language, ranging from ancient tomes to more recent works. A heavy, dark mahogany desk is centrally located against the wall.
“If you all have so much space here, why not just make individual bedrooms?” I ask, not meaning to offend. I offer a small smile to show my intent.
“It’s better for us to be close to our own kind. The temptation to revert to our old nature can be hard to ignore in isolation. Being together keeps us accountable. It keeps us connected to each other.”
I nod, understanding. “But…L…” I still can’t say his name out loud.
“Legion has enough souls of his own to keep him company.” One side of his mouth curls up and he shrugs sheepishly.
The door beside their room contains an infirmary stocked with a variety of bandages, high tech machines that I’ve only seen on House and even a hospital bed. Phenex said he was a medical doctor. I vaguely wonder how many times he’s had to patch up a nasty cut or reset a bone. Demons were said to be immortal. Wouldn’t they just regenerate or heal themselves?
“Our bodies on Earth are somewhat susceptible to harm, much like humans,” Phenex says, answering my unspoken musings. “We can heal from most superficial wounds on our own within minutes, but more serious injuries can render us debilitated, and unable to recover. That’s where modern medicine comes in.”
I run my fingers over a machine consisting of about a dozen different buttons and a screened monitor. “Is it more difficult to treat your kind? Or is it much like treating a human?”
“It’s essentially the same. We aren’t able to use anesthesia so—”
“Wait. You don’t use any painkillers?”
Phenex smiles in that easy way that makes his eyes sparkle with golden sunlight. “It’s unnecessary. Since our bodies run at about 103 degrees, we’d burn it off before it could even take effect.”
“So they’re wide awake, feeling everything? Even for surgical procedures?”
He nods. “If they don’t pass out from the pain first.”
A cold shiver snakes its way up my spine. How…awful.
We step into the hall and I point to a door across from the infirmary. “Hey, what’s in there?”
“Storage,” he answers coolly, before ushering me to Cain an
d Toyol’s quarters.
It is exactly as I’d expected. Dark in color, and jam-packed with endless entertainment and gadgets. Other than the king-sized beds and clothing strewn about, you’d think you just walked into Best Buy. It’s also littered with random weapons—guns, hunting knives, and swords, as well as some other things I’m not familiar with. We don’t stay in there more than a couple minutes.
“Can I ask you something?” I say as we make our way to the living room.
“Of course.” Phenex settles onto the couch, prompting me to take the seat across from him.
“Why can’t I leave? Why can’t I see my sister?”
He takes a deep breath, steepling his fingers in front of his chin. “You’re still a risk to the general population. If you’re Called while out there, you would be a danger to everyone around you, especially your sister. We’re keeping you here for your safety, and theirs. Not because we want to be cruel. Just the opposite, actually.”
“But what if I’m Called here? What could you do to stop it?”
“Well, you can’t bend our wills, so your only method of attack would be physical. And we could…deal with it.”
Translation: We would kill you.
He doesn’t have to say the words. I can read it clearly on his beautiful face.
“But…for how long? I can’t stay here forever. I can’t be locked away from the outside world for the rest of my life.” The thought of never interacting with another human being, never feeling the sunlight on my face, never dipping my toes in the freezing waters of Lake Michigan…honestly, it’s no better than being dead.
“We’ve been searching for a way to intercept the Calling. Maybe with training and careful guidance, we can detect the signs in time to avoid tragedy.” He opens and closes his hands as if trying to capture my anxiety in his palms.
“And if I don’t fulfill what I was Called for? If you somehow avoid an attack? What then?”
Born Sinner (Se7en Sinners #1) Page 8