by Renee Porter
Ryan finally removed her mouth from the breasts that took her attention and looked into deep blue eyes as she entered Charlie with her fingers. Charlie’s moan was loud as her face threw back biting the pillow under her head. It was the most beautiful thing that Ryan thought that she had seen. The pleasure she was giving with every stroke and curl inside of Charlie. And then she started to tear as she realized that she was actually inside Charlie. Her feelings of love and warmth filling the woman with every push up of her wrist. She breathed out heavily, as she closed her eyes trying to urge the tears back in.
Moments later, Charlie whimpered as fingers were removed and then replaced with Ryan’s tongue. Charlie’s hips bucked upwards into Ryan’s waiting mouth. One long lick where Charlie needed her most released a loud moan of Ryan’s name. The brunette tasted and kissed slowly, and as Charlie’s hips thrusted faster, Ryan finally complied, giving control over to Charlie. The brunette quickly slid against Ryan’s mouth and after two fingers entered her and curled deep inside, Charlie raised her hips off the bed, muscles clenching tight in a toe curling orgasm. Ryan continued to keep her lips around the nub as Charlie came down, twitching and shuddering as Ryan’s tongue urged out the last remaining sensations of pleasure.
As Charlie’s hips slowed and her breath became more even, Ryan finally released the flesh under her, laying her head on a lightly sweat slicked hip. She closed her eyes tight, but the movement was futile. As a tear escaped and fell on hot skin, Charlie reached down, rubbing the brunette hair with soft strokes.
“Ry?” Ryan didn’t want to look up, the embarrassment of her emotions spilling from her eyes too much to even allow herself the comfort of those dark eyes. “Ryan.” The words were stronger and Ryan sighed, finally angling her head upwards. She was met by caring, satiated eyes and the tears poured harder. She didn’t sob, her face did not contort as though a screaming child throwing a tantrum. The tears just flowed easily down red rimmed eyes and Charlie pulled the woman to her, not saying a word. She cradled her on her chest, allowing the tears to fall against her body.
Ryan was thankful for the silence. It allowed her to reign in her emotions and the feelings that were overflowing. Finally she chuckled as she wiped her eyes.
“I swear I don’t usually do this.”
“You don’t have to be embarrassed, honey. I think it’s beautiful.” Ryan sucked in a shuddering breath at the soft words.
“It’s such a stereotypical woman thing to do,” Ryan rolled her eyes, teasing herself but Charlie placed both hands around Ryan’s face, thumbs removing the last tears that escaped.
“Well, you are a woman,” Charlie said smiling. “A very, very amazing woman, might I add.” Ryan raised her eyebrow up, a shy smile taking place.
“You liked it?” She asked softly. She hadn’t even considered if Charlie had minded the slower pace that Ryan had decided upon. Charlie gently lifted her shoulders and rolled Ryan onto her back, kissing her softly and slowly. She removed her lips, a slow, sexy smile taking form.
“I didn’t just like it, Ryan,” she gave her another kiss, the passion starting to grow with every second passing. Hips started to roll involuntarily as Charlie’s tongue slid along the brunette’s lower lip. “I’ve never felt that way, with anyone before.” Ryan shivered at the whisper in her ear and gave herself over to Charlie again and again.
Chapter 18
Ryan stretched, wincing in that pleasurable pain that sore muscles cause. She smiled as the previous night replayed in her mind. The beach, the lanterns, the hammock and the activities afterwards. She breathed out as she reached over beside her, only to find the bed sheets wrinkled and empty. She furrowed her brows as she looked around the room, Charlie was nowhere to be found.
She stood, donning her clothes from the night before and went through the house trying to find the woman who seemed to occupy most of her thoughts. When she realized that Charlie wasn’t there, she willed herself not to panic or worry about the absence. Instead she made her way out to the back, lifting her legs on the chair and enjoying the sound of the crashing waves.
“There you are,” Charlie said as she made her way through the doors. Ryan looked up, her heart beating wildly at the smile that met her. Charlie handed her a coffee and placed a bag down on the table, kissing Ryan softly on the lips. “Good morning.”
“Mmmm, Good Morning,” Ryan released her lips and watched as Charlie moved the other chair closer to her and sat down. Charlie’s hand gripped onto Ryan’s and her other took a long sip of coffee.
“I’m surprised you’re up so early. I wanted to serve you breakfast in bed.” Charlie’s eyes sparkled and Ryan chastised herself for even the briefest thought that Charlie had deserted her this morning.
“Well I wanted to sleep more. I had the most amazing dream but then I woke up and realized that it wasn’t a dream at all, so I went looking for you.” Ryan reddened at the cheesy remark and bit her tongue for even saying it. What was up with her?
Charlie smiled keeping her gaze out on the ocean. Ryan watched as her face went through a series of emotions without a word. She wondered what the woman was thinking about but instead of asking she decided to leave it be. Because what if it was something that Ryan didn’t want to know? What if Charlie had realized that after last night this was too much? Charlie was a celebrity after all. Her life was crazy and inundated with all things Hollywood most of the time. And Ryan was the complete opposite, purposely removing herself from all of what Charlie lived.
“I’ve never done that before, you know?” It was almost difficult to hear Charlie’s whispered words over the crashing waves. Ryan furrowed her brows as she watched Charlie looking out towards the beach. Finally Charlie looked over at her, a light red blushing her cheeks.
“What?”
“Made love like we did last night.” Ryan’s heart beat quickly and she swallowed as Charlie continued. “It was…you were…” Charlie released a breath and shook her head. “So different…”
“As in good different? Or….”
“Perfectly different, honey,” Charlie squeezed the hand between them and she smiled softly. “No one has ever treated me like you did last night.” She fingered the top of her to go cup and her eyebrows knitted together. “It felt like you wanted me to feel everything,” she took in a breath, “that you were feeling?” Ryan gulped, wondering if she was assuming correctly what Charlie was saying. When Charlie looked at Ryan for confirmation it took a moment for the woman to respond.
Ryan held onto the hand, moving it between her fingers, judging her words and what exactly she should say. She knew what she wanted to say or to ask but even though she knew that Charlie cared, she didn’t want to say anything that may scare her away. So she settled for the partial truth.
“I wanted to show you how much you mean to me. What this means to me.” Ryan opened her mouth to say something else but closed it again as she watched Charlie’s face soften, a hesitant look shining in her eyes.
“I did feel it, Ryan. And this means a lot to me, too. And I guess what I’m trying to say is…I know you wanted to take things slow but…” Her breath held and Ryan realized that the woman was nervous. Ryan drew in her own breath and squeezed the woman’s hand in confidence. “But I was wondering if we could do this…exclusively?” Charlie bit her bottom lip as Ryan’s heart stopped. She was pretty sure that she had died at that moment. The moment that Charlotte Baker was asking her to be her girlfriend. And because dead people don’t talk, Ryan just stood at her blankly not breathing, not believing that this was happening.
“I mean, I know that you have reservations about my work life and I understand that, Ryan, I do. It’s hard since sometimes I have to go on location for months at a time, and how my life is so public. And I know it will be hard at first because I’m not out yet…so I understand if you need time to think…”
“Yes.”
“What?” Ryan smiled as she stood, her legs moving over Charlie’s hips to straddle her on the larg
e, comfortable chair.
“Yes, Charlie. I want you to be exclusively mine.” Charlie smiled as she grabbed Ryan’s hips in a tight hug.
“You do?” Ryan nodded as she placed a searing kiss on the lips underneath her.
“And we’ll get through all the hard stuff, Charlie. Plus I think it’s time that I let that part of my life back in.”
“Do you?” Charlie whispered as she looked deep into emerald eyes.
“Yes, because I care about you, Charlie. I - “ - , Ryan “Ryan stopped before she could say the words. She peered into both eyes and continued, “I want to be a part of your life. Every part of it. And I think it’s time that I finally face it.” Charlie placed her lips on Ryan’s, a sensual rhythm building between the cool beach air and hot touches.
“So, you’re okay then, with dating a celebrity?” Charlie asked breathlessly with a smile. Ryan shook her head.
“I’m okay with dating a small town girl from South Dakota who just happens to have a good job.” Charlie groaned and Ryan knew it was the right words as Charlie grabbed under her thighs and lifted her upwards. Ryan shrieked and laughed into Charlie’s neck as the brunette took her through the doors and into the house. “What about breakfast?” Ryan asked through her laughter.
“It can wait. This can’t.” Ryan gasped as Charlie threw her on the bed.
***
“Dan, this isn’t up for discussion. I wasn’t coming in here asking for your permission, I came in here to tell you that I’m doing this.”
Dan ran his hands over the stubble of his chin. His smile widening and his eyes softening in fake concern.
“Charlotte, this is not something that you can just come out with. I understand that you feel this way but you’re not in your right mind right now. Ever since the nomination you have literally been given parts in blockbuster hits. No audition, no interview. Sign on the dotted line and you have millions. Do you know how many people strive for that in their career?”
“Yes, I do. And I’m appreciative of it Dan, I really am, but I like to think that they want me not for my sexuality but for my actual talent.”
“They want you for your image, Charlotte. And that is the whole package. Heterosexuality and all. Do you think that people will want to see a lesbian play straight?”
“They don’t seem to mind a straight playing gay, Dan.” Charlie let out a large, frustrated breath. “I’m tired of this, Dan. I don’t want to hide or lie anymore. I want us to come up with a plan to deal with this correctly. And I’m not changing mind.”
“I’m just asking you to think about, Charlie. You have no reason to come out right now.”
“We talked about this when I received the nomination, Dan. You were supportive then, why aren’t you now?”
“I am supportive, Charlotte. But when we were talking about this you were just dating the girl. So unless something has changed, I don’t see a reason to let this out into the public.” Dan watched as the stern face lightened into a smile.
“Actually, we’re exclusive now.” Dan closed his eyes and swallowed a painful moan. That’s not what he wanted to hear. He steeled his reaction and placed a forced smile on his lips.
“Well congrats, I’m happy for you.”
“Are you really?” Charlie cocked an eyebrow up and Dan released a sigh.
“It’s just not the right time, Charlotte. You’re only 29 years old, your whole career is ahead of you. If you could just keep this under wraps for a few more years…”
“How many more years exactly, Dan? You want me to wait until I’m 35? 50? When I take my last god damned breath? Do you really think I care about what the public thinks?”
Dan stood, starting to pace. “Charlotte, I’m just saying that if you want to continue acting and getting good roles then you have to consider keeping this out of the public. I know that it’s more acceptable these days but that’s for normal people. You’re in the limelight sweetie.”
“I’m not a puppet, Dan. I am a normal person. I want to have a normal life.”
“I know, I know….wrong choice of words.” He sighed as he sat down on the desk facing her. “Look, if you want to do this then fine. We’ll think of something. I’ll speak with Denise and go over the best way to do it. But really Charlotte, think about your new relationship. Once this happens you two are going to be everywhere. The stories will start and since this has never happened to someone with your popularity, you can bet that they won’t be kind.”
Charlie looked down, the words ringing true. She knew that her relationship would be on display but she also knew that Ryan understood how Hollywood could be. She grew up with stories of her father plastered in the papers. She knew that most of it was lies. But she also knew that Ryan was making an exception for her. She had sworn that she didn’t want this lifestyle, but she took the risk anyway. How much and how fast that life seeped in was all that Charlie could control. If she came out right away they wouldn’t have any privacy anymore. Ryan’s face would be plastered on every paper and tabloid. Their every movement documented for the world to see.
“Fine,” Charlie relented. “I’ll wait for now. But Dan, I really need you to know, that when I decide to do this, that you need to be behind me a hundred percent.” Dan smiled and relaxed his shoulders. If it was one thing he knew how to do it was to talk people out of something.
Charlie got up and moved to the door her door , her spine straightening. “Because if you aren’t, Dan. I’ll find someone else who is. I don’t need people who don’t support me in my life, do you understand?” Dan gulped as he nodded his head, a fake smile appearing on his face. He watched her nod and walk out of the office. “I need a fucking drink.”
***
Charlie opened the door and walked into the house. Her head pounded with every beat of her heart and she sighed as she realized how exhausting the day had been. She had woken up that day holding Ryan in her arms and had decided that she didn’t want to hide her from the world. She was so sure that today would be the day that she decided to let the world know exactly who Charlotte Baker was, but in true Hollywood fashion, she was just back to acting the part. She placed her keys in on the entryway table and removed her purse from her shoulders. She heard light chuckling coming from the living room and followed the soft noise.
She stood at the doorway, her headache immediately dissolving as she stared at a giggling Ryan standing over a snoring Jonathan. There was an empty bottle of wine on the table in front of them and Charlie held a hand over her mouth to stop herself from laughing. Ryan stood over Jonathan with a bottle of whipped cream, placing it in his hand. She held a feathered cat toy above his nose and was about to touch it to his face when she glanced up. Her eyes sparkled with mischief as she smiled up at Charlie, placing a finger to her lips. Charlie shook her head as she watched Ryan tickle Jonathan’s nose. He moaned through a snore and wiggled the tickle off.
She tried again and this time the whipped cream hit its mark. She busted out with a loud laugh as Jonathan woke up disoriented, narrowing his eyes at her and leaping up smudging the rest of the whipped cream all over Ryan’s face. Charlie laughed hard at the display and Ryan shrieked as Jonathan finally released her. He raised his eyes upwards to his cousin.
“I just would like you to know that your girlfriend is insufferable.” He licked his lips and Charlie’s heart warmed at the words. My girlfriend. Charlie smiled as she stepped up to a laughing Ryan, leaning in to give her a kiss. Ryan pulled back and Charlie pouted.
“No, I’m a mess.” Ryan licked some whipped cream off her lips and Charlie shrugged her shoulders leaning in to kiss her anyway. She pulled back and smacked her lips, removing some whipped cream off of her own face. “Delicious,” Charlie smiled and winked while Jonathan groaned.
“Ugh, you lesbians are so gross. Can you just get a room already? Preferably Ryan’s room? I don’t need to hear no nubbing going on in here.” Ryan laughed as she pushed Jonathan playfully.
“Nubbing? Really? Is that w
hat you call it?”
“Well that’s what you both got?”
“So what is it when you do it? A swordfight?” Ryan chuckled.
Charlie twitched her nose up. “That’s a horrible image to have.” Jonathan laughed as he plopped comfortably on the couch and Charlie mirrored him scooting close to Ryan and tucking herself under the woman’s arm.
“How was your day?” Ryan asked as she removed the final bits of cream from her face from a napkin left on the table.
“Long,” Charlie looked up to her and placed a quick kiss on her lips. “But it’s better now.” Ryan gave her a thousand watt smile which made Charlie’s stomach flop. She really couldn’t get enough of this woman and she opened her mouth but closed it quickly, swallowing the words. It wasn’t the right time.