There was literally nothing but horror in her past, and I couldn’t imagine the future would be roses and fairy tales either, not if she stayed with me. There would never be a time in her life that she wouldn’t be reminded of her past, of our past, and I had to wonder if it would continually impact our present, filtering into our future.
With a sigh, I sat up as much as I could. “Maya, would you please grab a hand mirror from the bathroom?”
Frowning, she gave a simple nod went to the bathroom then returned with the mirror.
“Excellent. Can you please point it at my side, angle it down, a little farther.” Her hands were shaking. I didn’t blame her. I was a mess. “Thank you.”
We didn’t speak while I nimbly and quickly sewed up my wound in perfect sutures that would leave a slight white mark as if I’d been scratched.
Maya swayed on her feet.
“Maya?” I reached for her with my free hand, I just needed to cut the thread. “Are you going to pass out?”
She tugged her lower lip between her teeth and bit, causing my body, even numb with drugs, to tighten, to flush with lust.
“No.” She shook her head. “That’s just really… hot.”
“What is?” I glanced down at my bare stomach. Surely she wasn’t referring to me being shirtless? She’d seen me naked. I highly doubted my bruised body was doing it.
“That.” She pointed to the hand still holding the needle. “You just stitched yourself up, perfectly, better than, well I don’t even know, but it’s just… sorry, is that inappropriate?”
“Very.” I nodded seriously. “Let’s be professional, Maya.” My lips twitched in a barely contained smile.
“Right.” She agreed crossing her arms. “Will that be all, Doctor?”
I let out a suppressed groan. “Hurry and cut this damn thread so I can kiss you.”
“I didn’t know Russians kissed Italians without protection.” She ran her hands down her body, damn I would do just about anything for a taste, better than any drug.
“Very funny.” I nodded toward the scissors. “Now, but before I accidently poke you.”
“Hah.” She wagged her finger in my face. “You mean like last night?”
I rolled my eyes and lay back against the mattress. “Go ahead, finish me off, kill me. I’ll wait.”
She gently crawled over me, careful not to put any weight on my body as she reached for the scissors and cut the thread. I grabbed her hand the minute it was free, bringing her fingertips to my lips, she tasted like home.
“How are you?” I wasn’t that man, the one who asked emotional questions. I’d never cared, not until her.
Maya licked her lips, studying my mouth for a few seconds before answering. “I’m hanging in there.”
“Well at least you haven’t run away screaming yet.”
“That would get me killed.”
“Your father may be too busy to kill you right now… or at least too busy to threaten us, and when he does… I don’t think we’ll have problems finding people willing to fight for us. Apparently the Italians have been bored this last week, imagine that?”
Maya shuddered. “Bored means they haven’t gotten to shoot something in a while? And seven days is a long time? Wow, talk about self control. Should we give them a medal? Or at least gift them some wine?”
I burst out laughing, shocking myself at the fact I couldn’t keep it in anymore. I’d gotten the shit beat out of me, one of my darkest secrets was about to get revealed to Maya, and I could laugh.
Because I loved her.
And when you have love—everything else seems to just fade into the background, the noise of your own heart beating, smothering out the screams of the past.
“Italians,” I whispered tucking a piece of hair behind her ear with my good hand, “do love their wine.”
She leaned down brushing her lips against mine. “And I love you.”
My body hummed with pleasure and sang with completeness at her proximity. “You can say that… after everything? Even after the fear of tonight? After finding out your parentage?”
“You had nothing to do with my mom cheating and sleeping with Petrov’s right hand man—absolutely nothing.”
“No.” I swallowed the lump of guilt. “But I knew. He was an outsider, trying to escape the pressure of his own crime family, and the sense of embarrassment he felt at being the poorest, most disrespected. I knew the information because of my father.”
“Apparently everyone knew.” Maya sighed. “In the grand scheme of things, does it really matter?”
“I don’t know, does it?”
“Not really. No. If anything it just makes me thankful that I’m not blood related to a Russian gangster.” I opened my mouth to speak but she pressed two fingers against it and whispered. “But I am in love with one.”
I wasn’t sure if it was the drugs or just having her close but my body felt warm the minute she said that. Still, she had to understand. “I won’t ever be free of it.”
Maya turned her head, giving me a view of her gorgeous long neck. I wanted to trail kisses from neck to navel, and then lower, drink her nectar until I was drunk on her. Her hand gently caressed the sickle tattoo. “I don’t think either of us will ever be free of our pasts, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have a future, right?”
My body went rigid. There was one more thing, one more secret I’d kept close to me, a secret my family had kept even closer. It wasn’t just something I could tell her, I’d have to show her the diary, explain to her the reasons, but worst of all. I’d have to make sure I talked with Jac first.
She was the loose cannon in all this, the very last part of my life that could unravel and destroy everything I held dear.
With a few simple words, strung together in one powerful sentence, my entire career would be over—my life, Maya’s life, my reputation.
I shuddered.
“Are you cold?”
“No.” I answered quickly, maybe too quickly if Maya’s frown was any indication. “I’m just thinking.”
“Well, stop.” Maya sucked on my lower lip. I let out a moan and tried to pull her body closer but it hurt to move more than an inch. She smiled against my mouth. “It’s kind of nice, having you semi-paralyzed while I take advantage of you.”
I went still for an entirely different reason as my body went from hot to frigid. She had no idea what that statement meant to me.
Paralyzed, yet awake.
Woman’s screams echoed in my head. I’d never been present for it, did that lessen my involvement? Make me any less of a killer?
“Maya, I need to talk to you about something.” I grabbed her wrist pushing her back as much as I could without letting out a sharp cry of pain.
“Words can come tomorrow,” she argued, her eyes drinking me in. “Right now, let me just love you. Whatever you have to say can wait, can’t it?”
I was too exhausted to argue. “Yes. It can wait.”
“Good.” She kissed my forehead, “Now sleep, and dream of me.”
“You’re all I’ve dreamed of… since I saw you from across the room and my heart beat… mine.” I drifted off with visions of Maya’s smile.
There is no evil without good. –Russian Proverb
A WEEK WENT BY, A WEEK where Jac refused to answer my texts, and the newspapers confirmed my worst fears.
The Pier Killer has been at it again, the crimes have been more abhorrent. Two female college students were found in the U district, their mouths taped shut, their eyes completely missing from their faces right along with every single female organ. Police are offering a monetary reward for any information. The total known victims of this serial killer now numbered twelve women.
I scowled and pushed the newspaper away. Most of the Italians had left, but Phoenix had stayed. I couldn’t wait for him to leave. It was nauseating, hearing him talk to his wife on the phone all hours of the day. I told him we had things handled. Ever since Sergio helped take down Petrov�
�s empires, I hadn’t heard from him or from any of his Byki’s.
I’d gone to the clinic four times in search of any information on Jac, but it was just as a I left it, the only change was that women were no longer getting brought to my door—which saddened me, not because it was part of my research but because I worried about them, worried about the women who at times, only made it through the night because they knew that when they came to my clinic I would make them forget.
It was my gift to them.
Because it was all I had to offer.
Heal them both physically and mentally, and if I can do neither… offer them another option.
I tapped my fingertips against the newspaper as anxiety built inside my chest. Maya was showering. She’d been inside the apartment all week, and I thought it would be nice for her to at least get outside and grab a coffee or something.
Phoenix walked back in the room and glanced down at the newspaper. “When are you going to tell her?”
Loaded question for seven in the morning. “I was going to tell her last week, then the following day, and the day after that, I don’t even know how to start.”
Phoenix pulled out a chair and sat. “Well you can always start with… you know those horror stories from the seventeen hundreds….”
“You aren’t funny.”
Phoenix shrugged. “Wasn’t trying to be. It is the truth, isn’t it? Sergio found some interesting shit on you, I’d have given my right arm to read that history… but some things are better left burned.”
“Yes.” Voice hoarse I shoved the newspaper off the table and covered my face with my hands. “I have to kill her.”
“You have no other choice.” Phoenix agreed. “It is what’s best.”
“But I love her.”
“I never said you didn’t… but she cannot go on like this, there’s been too much psychological damage, she’s… going to go insane, and—”
“I know.” I was disgusted with the whole situation. “Just… give me some time.”
He shook his head. “Not something you have in spades, man. Do it tonight, or I do it for you.”
I jumped to my feet. “The hell you will!”
“Then get your head out of your ass and get it done.” He seethed, stomping off into the living room.
I smacked my hand against the counter top just as Maya walked around the corner stumbling into the chair Phoenix had accidently kicked over. She looked pale.
“Are you feeling well?” I asked.
“Yes.” She nodded her head vigorously. “You know, I really am… feeling…” She tugged at her shirt. “Hot and cooped up. You think I can just head down to the lobby and grab a coffee on my own? Maybe sit outside?” She swallowed like she was nervous as I stood. “By myself.”
I narrowed my eyes. It’s not that I didn’t want her to have her freedom, I just didn’t like the idea of her going downstairs without a bodyguard, and the original plan had been to get some fresh air together. Then again, there were security guards everywhere; I also had access to all lobby cameras. “Sure.” Even as I said it, doubt crept in, making me anxious. I shrugged it off. “Just be safe, and bring your phone?”
“Great!” She smiled brightly and went to the door, opened it, then slammed it behind her while I was left wondering why something felt wrong.
Two minutes later I was still staring at the door when Phoenix waltzed back into the kitchen. “What crawled up your ass and died?”
“She didn’t kiss me goodbye,” I whispered.
“Is that not normal?”
“Maya’s always been… emotional…” I sat and folded my arms then shook my head. “I’m reading into things.”
Phoenix placed a glass of orange juice on the table and then set his Glock right next to it. “So, what will it be? You want her blood on your hands or do you need me to do your dirty work?”
“I’ll owe you.”
“You owe me about a bazillion favors, just add to the list, remember? I thrive off secrets.”
“No.” I pushed his gun away. “I’ll do it, make it painless, she’ll simply go to sleep and not wake up.”
“Where’s the fun in that?”
“Fun?” I had trouble controlling my voice as rage filled me. “There is absolutely nothing fun about killing your own flesh and blood—killing the person who basically raised you.”
I stood to my full height, which matched his. I was just itching for a fight, I could feel my blood pressure rising as he smirked and inclined his head. “Good. Keep that rage in place, it’s the only way you’ll be able to do this without living with guilt for the rest of your life… sometimes it’s best to fuel the rage with anger so that when you look back on this moment, it’s not with regret.”
“When the hell did you get so smart?”
“I read lots of books, doc.” Phoenix slapped me on the back. “Now, it looks like we have a woman to hunt.”
“I know where she typically waits for victims.” I sighed. “I just…”
“We’ll split them up and find her in no time.” Phoenix grabbed his phone out of his pocket, but first we need to figure out a babysitter for Maya.
“Shit!” I shoved him away and limped toward the back room where I had left the iPad, I quickly logged in to the cameras and located the ones in the lobby.
Maya was sitting in a chair sipping coffee, I instantly relaxed. Until I saw a familiar face in cowboy boots approach her table and sit.
“Phoenix!” I yelled. “Jac’s here!”
The tongue speaks but the head does not know.—Russian Proverb
I SIPPED MY DRINK—NOT EVEN sure what I’d ordered, numbness had overtaken me the minute I stumbled upon Nik and Phoenix’s conversation. After everything we’d been through together—he was going to kill me.
Who else could he be talking about?
And why wasn’t I running around screaming my head off? It’s not like I could go to the police, I mean I could, but what exactly would I say? They’d have me file a restraining order, and who would actually believe me?
I shivered as I glanced down at my latte, it tasted like nothing.
Was it foolish of me to still be sitting in that building?
Stupid to think about going back upstairs and trying to convince him that I wasn’t so psychologically damaged that I was going to snap.
How could he possibly believe that? After everything that had been dropped into my lap over the last few weeks most people would be committed! I’d done well all things considered.
“I love you,” he’d whispered.
Tears stung, causing my vision to blur as I tried to keep myself from choking out a sob, it hurt my throat, but it was nothing compared to the slicing pain I felt through my chest as my heart crumbled into a million pieces.
Most girls crying over broken hearts didn’t have to worry about being killed, but maybe it would be less painful.
Because how, after knowing everything I knew, could I possibly live without him in my life? A few tears escaped as I covered my face with my hands. Of course that was it.
I was certifiably insane.
Because I was mourning my killer.
Maybe I did deserve to die.
Maybe I’d just lie down on the bed like I’ve lost every ounce of sense and hand him the knife to stab me with.
I was being dramatic as fear and sadness kept me rooted to that seat like I had no other option but to sip coffee and think about all the times he’d whispered his love out of one side of his mouth while the other continued to warn me against him, warn me of how dangerous he was.
Sergio had said Nik would always be mafia, always thirst for blood.
And now he wanted mine.
There was nothing romantic about it, nothing.
It made me angry, frustrated, terrified, and if I was being honest, I was sorry for myself, sorry that the same man who breathed new life into me, was going to be the one to take it.
Run! My mind screamed.
Stay. My
heart whispered.
“Maya!” A female voice interrupted my inner battle. “Over here!” Jac waved a hand up at me and approached the table. “Oh dear, he told you, didn’t he?”
“Told me?” Everything about Jac set me on edge, like she was a drunk tightrope walker just waiting to take the plunge.
“About me.” She sighed sadly. “About our family.”
“Um, no, but, you know I really should get back.” This was danger. This woman sitting in front of me with the friendly smile and bright pink lipstick, this was wrong, everything about the way her cold eyes stared right through me caused panic.
I would run back into my killer’s arms—away from her, any day of the week.
I made a motion to stand, just as something pricked the inside of my wrist. With a curse I jerked back my hand. “What the hell did you just do?”
“Shhh.” Jac smiled warmly. “It’s finally going to be okay. You’ll be safe now. I promise. You’ll finally be safe.”
“I am safe!” With him, I was safe. Safer than with her. My vision blurred as my heavy body leaned against the table, I tried to hold myself up with my hand but it missed the table completely. Jac very smoothly moved beneath one arm and started walking me out of the building.
People would see us right? They’d see my struggle.
I fought to keep my eyes open and moaned out, “Help,” as we passed two large figures.
They did nothing.
“Help!” I tried louder this time while Jac talked over me about the pitfalls of drinking in the morning, first scolding me about being publicly intoxicated and then saying good thing you have family like me to help you out!
“No.” I shook my heavy head as my chin drooped to my chest.
“Ah, it’s working so much faster than I thought. I only stole as much as I could carry without him noticing, though he’ll for sure notice now.” She was breathing heavy and then we were in the alleyway between the two office buildings, the trunk of her car was already open. I had no strength left, a cold prickling sensation ran down my legs and then they gave out just as she pushed me against the back. Why was nobody coming after me? This wasn’t normal! It was daylight!
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