“Didn’t see that one coming,” he spat at him, as I knelt down and examined Lucas’ cheek.
“You could have killed him,” I said, as Noah placed a hand on my shoulder. I shook it off.
“I had to surprise him. I couldn’t believe he was wrestling me earlier. And besides, Elliot told me to do it.”
“What for?!”
“So you can perform the ceremony,” Elliot replied. I glanced behind me to see him in his harness, strewn across Henry’s back. “The ritual has to be performed.”
“No,” I said sternly, gazing at the fallen Lucas.
“He already knows too much.”
“He knows nothing.”
“We don’t know how much he saw before you noticed him in the window. Besides, it’s far too late to turn back now. The moment Noah wrestled him…and just now – rendered him unconscious, he became a threat. If he is let go, he will surely tell his friends.”
“And both fights were uncalled for!” I yelled, standing to my feet to glare at him face to face. “I could have easily met him outside and talked him away.”
“He’s persistent. He will oust us all.”
“No ritual.”
“You don’t have long before you must take a victim. Here is one now, ripe for the taking.”
“Not him.”
“Why not?” he asked with a concerned look. “Why does he get a pass?”
“This isn’t how I operate.”
“It’s exactly how you do business, Alexandra. What hinders you? What makes him so different than any of us?”
“There are worse human beings out there. I’ll take one of them.” The moment I said it, the silence came. I looked to each of them and tried to say something else, but they were already going through a whirlwind of emotions. Shock. Grief. Anger. Rage. I dared not say another word.
“Worse…human…beings,” Henry scoffed. “Wow.” He pushed past me and started heading upstairs.
“I’m staying,” Elliot ordered, and Henry half-heartedly snapped off the harness. Elliot fell to the floor like a sack of potatoes, but he quickly gained his composure and sat up against the stair bannister. Noah gave me a look of disappointment and followed Henry to their respective bedrooms.
“Is that how you saw us?” Elliot asked, trying his best to tone down his anger. “Selfish, egotistical, worthless, human beings that didn’t deserve the gift of life? Is that what drew you to us?”
“No, not at all,” I said. “Elliot, you intrigued me. Henry was fun. Noah was sweet. I…I loved each of you in my own way. I hated going through with the ritual, but I had to…”
“Then why not him? He’s handsome. You have found your quality to reminisce over. Now carry this out.”
“I’m going to go about this differently now,” I said, stooping down to be eye-level with Elliot. “Starting now, I’m not going to hurt anyone that doesn’t deserve it.”
“Why the change in heart?” he asked. I could see it in his eyes. He was dying to know the answer, and I wasn’t so sure if I was ready to give it.
“It was him,” I said, looking down at the sleeping Lucas. “Everyone fears him, yet...he doesn’t hold it against them, or simply accept their idea of him. He just wants to change it.”
“Or he knows all about you and he’s playing with your emotions like Noah did.”
“At some point, we have to start trusting people again.” I turned back to him. “Despite what I did to you, you came back. Maybe I should take a leap of faith and do the same.”
“You’re just trying to find an excuse to pursue this relationship,” Elliot snickered. “But if you want to believe in fairy tales, who am I to say otherwise. But a word of warning, and food for thought. While we may all be living here…remember…there is still a spell upon us. I may not know where the spell ends, and the truth of our affection begins but realize that relationships, as well intentioned as they may be, are far more complex than we know. Watch yourself with this Lucas. Don’t be completely blinded by whatever spell he may have over you.”
Without another word, he began crawling up the stairs with just his arms for support. I didn’t bother asking if he wanted assistance. Apparently I had already done enough. I heard Lucas cough and I looked down at him. His eyes were fluttering open, but it was obvious he wasn’t quite ready to take hold of consciousness just yet. I didn’t know what to do.
Do I just leave him upon the floor? Bring him up to a bedroom? Ditch him somewhere? Despite my inclination to take him upstairs, I decided to leave him outside. I called for Noah who came to my side quickly and asked him to take him to the back of Angelo’s - to bring him there unharmed, and to watch over him in the night.
It was a terrible thing to ask of him after what I said earlier, but he did it regardless, and I determined right then and there that I wouldn’t be so cold-hearted.
I decided to forego sleep and head to the basement where the Prep room lay.
Sitting on the couch and turning on the television, I decided to let myself go brain dead as I had so often in the past…but my mind wouldn’t turn off.
All I could think about was the men in my life. Each so fragile yet strong. Each of them eager to prove their worth yet so often I would cast them to the side. Henry was right. It was all an act. I was so afraid…I was even afraid of Margaret as annoying as she could be. I was afraid to care, and to allow myself happiness. They were all so eager to include me in their lives, even when I gave no effort to include them in mine, and they didn’t deserve that.
I had to make a choice.
Either go all in, or all out.
Either become a hermit, or try to build a life.
Being a siren was a horrible curse, but surely there was a way to live around it. There had to be others like me that lived somewhat normal lives…or did they all die out, afraid and alone?
I sighed and folded my legs beneath me, closing my eyes and enjoying the silence, when it hit me.
I was so afraid of death, but it wasn’t even an option if I didn’t want it to be. I didn’t know what every lyric of my music meant, but I did have choices now. If I wanted, I could go into the Lyric Room right now and become a zombie, a vampire, a tree, or a few other things. And it may not be what I wanted.
But I would then be immortal.
Just like Noah, Elliot and Henry now were.
Why was I so afraid of death? Why was I letting the thought of it eat at me while I was still alive? Why couldn’t I try love? Why couldn’t I have friends? Why couldn’t I let someone into my life and even reveal what I was down the road? If they were cool about it, who knows? I might extend them immortality too. And if they didn’t, they could simply live out the rest of their years sounding like a crazy person.
The relationships I established…that’s all that mattered now. That’s all I would have left in two years when I made my final decision.
Otherwise…I was doomed to be immortal, and bitterly alone.
I shot up from the couch and headed upstairs on a mission. I had a lot of work to do. I had to start repairing the fractures with my friends, so they would love the old Alexandra.
Let alone the future new one…whatever she may look like.
TRACK 9 – Me and the Boys (Heartbeat Remix)
“Guys!” Henry shouted the moment he entered the kitchen. “You need to get down here – RIGHT NOW!” Noah was next to Henry within two seconds, Elliot in his arms like a baby. They were all so shocked at the sight of me that Elliot didn’t even be asked to be put down.
“Alexandra,” he whispered. “What have you done?”
“I cooked!” I exclaimed, stepping out of the way for them to behold my glory. There was pancake batter sliding down the cabinets, egg yolk in my hair and so much seasoning on the floor that it looked like I tracked in sand from the beach. There was a storm cloud above my head from all the smoke and there were pots and pans on every stove aisle, cooking an abundance of new recipes for them to try. I was quite proud of myself.
> “I’m scared, guys,” Noah said, hiding behind Henry. “What does this mean?”
“The end,” Elliot stated in his best doomsday voice.
“Calm down,” I snapped, but then I cleared my throat and perked back up. “I mean, good morning! Sorry to scare you, I just didn’t know what recipes to decide on so I went with them all.” I pointed to the dining table where stacks upon stacks of food were waiting for them. It wasn’t a pretty sight, I’ll admit, but it’s the taste that matters. The taste.
“It’s a good thing I don’t have to eat to survive,” Henry laughed. “Because I’m not taking a single bite of that stuff.”
“Agreed,” Noah said. “Alex, what came over you?”
“I was just thinking about you guys,” I said, wiping my hands on the already filthy apron, “and how I’m snapping at you all the time. And considering our history, let’s just call this me beginning to repay the debt.”
“If you’re worried about repaying debts,” Henry retorted, poking an unknown substance, “you should have brought home a live human for us to eat.”
“I do have that too,” I said to their shock.
“Are you serious?” Henry asked, half-horrified, half-curious.
“Nope,” I winked at them. “Gotcha.” They all laughed. “I will bring home someone soon though…for you guys. And for me too. I…I’m sorry for what you guys had to go through.”
They were silent, unable to believe what was coming out my mouth.
“I don’t want this to be a house of horrors,” I explained further. “This is your home. We might as well start acting like it is one.”
“Hmmm,” Elliot mused as he attempted a nibble at one of my raisin bran cookies. He mulled over it, and it took a while for him to swallow, but he didn’t spit it out. A good sign. I don’t know if zombies have taste buds, but the fact that he was humoring me showed me he cared. Noah followed suit, but Henry just crossed his arms.
“So…what’s happening with Lucas? I know you had Noah take him out the house last night.”
“I’m going to avoid him,” I said to them all. “Because you guys come first.”
“Really?” Henry said, raising a dingy eyebrow.
“Really and truly,” I said. “I’ll think about love and all that stuff once you all are either back to normal, or happy. It’s the least I could do.”
“Well,” Henry chuckled to himself. “In that case, thank you. Just do us a favor, will you?”
“What’s that?”
“Don’t ever cook again,” he laughed.
* * *
“So what am I looking at exactly?” I asked, sitting on the couch between Noah and Henry. Elliot opted for his own chair as we all watched a movie together. It was a little weird for all of us to be spending quality time in the Prep Room, but since it contained the only television in the house, we were stuck with either that or undying boredom.
“It’s a shark octopus,” Noah replied casually, as if this was a common animal. I shook my head in disapproval.
“And what is he fighting?”
“Bear-gator.”
“It’s actually not bad,” Henry said, popping some popcorn into his mouth. “I’ve seen worse.”
“Hmph,” Elliot responded. “I hardly think that statement qualifies this as entertainment.”
“I’m just saying, it could be worse. This makes more sense than a shark tornado.”
“Are you really comparing which is better? They are both abominations. What else do you need to know?”
“You really need to get your legs back,” Henry said with a full mouth. “It’s like you’ve had irritable bowel syndrome ever since.”
“No thanks to you.”
“This is the good part!” Noah exclaimed as the bear-gator jumped out the lake and devoured a hitchhiker with one of its alligator-jaw hands. Noah squealed in delight and clapped his hands together. We all looked at him like he was insane.
“I’m going to rip my eyes out,” Elliot muttered.
“No one’s stopping you,” Henry said, eyes fixed on the screen. “Knock yourself out.”
“Is anyone else going to finish this?” I asked them all, holding up the half-empty gummy bear bag. They all shook their head so I began tearing into it, but the moment I took a bite, I felt strange. One moment I was watching the bear-gator get closer to the screen, and in the next, my entire vision went blood red. Before I could cry out to one of the boys, my body lost all motor functions. I fell over, and my head hit the floor…
…when I awoke, my head was in Henry’s lap and Noah was talking to Elliot, but I couldn’t hear any of their voices. Henry made a waving motion towards them and they all circled my body, but I still couldn’t hear them, nor could I speak. I tried to lift my head, but it felt like it was wrapped in chains. I reached up to feel my forehead, and my vision disappeared altogether. Once again, I went unconscious….
...I screamed, and this time I heard myself clearly. A stampede of feet came my way and all three boys entered the Prep Room, Elliot harnessed to Noah’s back this time.
“Alexandra, are you okay?” Noah asked, taking my hand into his.
“What happened?” I groaned. “Help me up.”
“Sure,” he said, pulling me off the couch and to my feet. I felt a little woozy, but otherwise okay. I stared down at the television. Why was it sitting on the floor?
“Did someone move the television?” I asked, but the boys were too busy giving each other concerned glances. “What?”
“Um,” Henry said, stepping forward. “Maybe you should find a mirror.”
“Why? What happened?” I raised a hand to examine it, and noticed that it didn’t look like it belonged to me at all. The skin was moisturized and smooth, and my fingernails were painted a vibrant red. “Did you guys really paint my nails?” I demanded. “I mean, geez, I wanted to bond, but not like this.”
“No…” Henry trailed off. “That was all you. You kinda…transformed.”
“What?!” I shrieked, running for the closest mirror I could think of, resting along the Lyric Room wall. I gasped as soon as I saw myself. I was sure I was going to look like a zombie, or some kind of creature, but it was actually the opposite.
I was…gorgeous.
No, let me backtrack. I wasn’t just gorgeous. I was take-your-breath-away, literally drop dead, you’ll remember me forever gorgeous. My hair was long and wavy like I had stepped out a salon commercial. It glowed like the sun. My make-up was applied perfectly. An elegant necklace hung off my neck. A little black dress tightly hugged my perfect toned curves which were chiseled and rounded in all the right places. My skin was baby smooth. My eyes were hypnotizing. My breasts were just on the line of causing my back to hurt and my lips were full and sensual. My feet weren’t even aching from the high heels I found myself in. No wonder the television seemed so low to the ground.
This was not me. Not at all. And though I was excited for a moment, I realized instinctively what had just happened to me, and suddenly, I preferred becoming the creature.
“I mean, wow, right?” Henry said, stepping behind me. “What’d you do?”
“What I want to know is where the clothes came from,” Noah winced. “It was like her old clothes transformed but I don’t get how that’s possible.”
“Are you okay, Alex?” Henry asked.
“I…” I stopped once I truly heard my voice. It was dripping with seduction. “Do I really have to sound like this too?”
“Elliot and I were talking while you watched Alex,” Noah said to Henry. “We think we know what’s going on.”
“No need to tell it,” I said, pressing the palm of my hand against my full lips. I looked absolutely nothing like me. “I already know. It’s my siren blood kicking in…telling me it’s time to go hunt.”
“But I thought you died when you were close.”
“That’s just how it was with Adam.”
“What do you mean, Alexandra?” Elliot asked me. I turned to face
them, and I tried not to weep when I noticed that each of them had taken a glance at my chest.
“My body responds to my intended victim. With Adam, I was dying physically because that’s what would draw him the most to me. He thought I was a goddess even when I was playing in the dirt. Looks wouldn’t have mattered to him, but my safety and well-being did. With all of you, it was a bit less dramatic. I wasn’t so close to my next feeding.”
I couldn’t take it anymore. I felt the tears stream down my face, but even that angered me. Each tear was pure and soft like it was water from Fiji. Why couldn’t I get the salty, burning tears?
“With us, did you lose control of yourself at all?”
“I was months away with each of you.”
“Do you feel in control now?”
“Yes and no,” I cried out. “My mind is there, but my body…”
“It’s for Lucas, isn’t it?” Henry asked, and I couldn’t help but cry some more. I didn’t know what was worse. The fact that he was to be my next victim, or that this was the type of girl he needed most.
TRACK 10 – Extreme Makeover (FML Edition)
I never felt so exposed.
Like everyone else, I wanted to be the center of attention occasionally, but not like this. I often dreamed it was because I achieved some great accomplishment. Maybe I found a cure for a horrible disease, or I wrote a world famous novel. Maybe I ushered in world peace. Something worthy of the praise. Not the shell surrounding the real me. Not the fragile dirt and dust that would disintegrate and wrinkle more and more with each passing year.
So I had big breasts. So what? What did that mean exactly? Once I changed back, no one would care about the real me. They would just remember the Alexandra of yesterday. Curvy, big breasted, full lipped Alexandra.
They would ask what happened to me when I changed back - why I looked so plain all of a sudden. They wouldn’t even remember that I never looked like that way in the first place.
My Immortal Playlist (The Siren Collection #1) Page 10