by Toni Runkle
Kat plopped down next to Jules at the table.
“What did you guys do in Mr. Adams’s class today? I totally didn’t get that worksheet he gave us for homework,” she said, completely unaware of the storm that had been growing inside Jules since the night before.
“OMG. Me neither,” said Darcy. “It was like completely amorous.”
Jules said nothing. She couldn’t believe it had come to this. Here she sat in the middle of her junior high lunchroom with her so-called best friend prattling on about science class as if nothing were wrong. And those two phonies, Zoe and Darcy, hanging on her every word. And Darcy abusing the English language beyond all recognition. As she stared at her half-eaten apple tofu spring roll, a quote from Shakespeare came into her head:
“If it were done when ’tis done, then ’twere well it were done quickly.”
Jules had memorized the passage from Macbeth two semesters ago, but it somehow stuck in her head all these months later. In the play, the character Macbeth was talking about murdering the King of Scotland, but it was a good quote for almost anything, Jules thought. Do it now. Get it over with.
“Maybe Mr. Adams will have pity on you,” she said. “Seems there’s a lot of that going around these days.”
“What do you mean?” said Kat. “Hey, Zoe. You going to eat all your fries?”
“I can’t believe you,” said Jules. “Are you seriously just going to sit here and mooch Zoe’s french fries as if nothing happened?”
“What’s supposed to have happened?”
“I got an email with that video.”
“What video?”
“Has that Glitter Girl stuff seeped into your cerebral cortex and affected your brain?” said Jules. She reached into her book bag and produced her cell phone where she had stored the video she’d been sent. She practically shoved the phone into Kat’s face and pressed “Play.”
Kat watched the video in disbelief.
“Who sent you that?”
“What does it matter?” said Jules. “Probably somebody who wanted me to know what my so-called BFF says when I am out of the room.”
“That video is soooo out of context.”
“What context? Are you going to deny you said it?”
“No, but I didn’t really mean it like that.”
“Like what? I was a pity invite? What am I, a stray puppy to you?”
Kat had never seen Jules this upset. The only thing she could do was to try for damage control.
“All I was trying to say was that Glitter Girl wasn’t your thing, and it probably was a bad idea to invite you in the first place.”
“And maybe it was a bad idea for me to be your friend for the last twelve years. I don’t want to be around someone who sees me as some pathetic loser.”
“I don’t see you like that, exactly.”
“Exactly? Well, what exactly do you see me as?”
“What are you talking about? You’re my friend. My best friend,” Kat added quickly, even though she knew Darcy and Zoe were watching this whole thing from three feet away.
Jules couldn’t stand to be around Kat any longer. She grabbed her lunch and left the table. Kat chased after her. This was not going well.
“Wait!”
“For what?” Jules said. “Why don’t you just hang out with your real friends and leave pitiful me alone? Maybe you guys can get together with Misty Wilkins, and you can trade mascara or discuss blue eye shadow or try on some more pathetic hats.”
“Look. I’m sorry I said those things on the video. I don’t know who sent that to you, but I didn’t mean for it to come out like that. Come on, Jules, you know me.”
Jules stopped short. That’s just what Kat said after she’d traded spit with her brother. “Know you? I thought I did. But the Kat I know doesn’t sell herself to the highest bidder just to get a little fame. The Kat I know was cool and had her own style, and doesn’t let anyone tell her what to do or who to hang out with. Look at you. Ever since Chelsea came to town, you’ve let yourself get turned into a little Glitter Girl clown. Not even a clown. You’re a mannequin. Brainless and heartless and made of plastic. A mannequin.”
“You take that back!”
“I won’t. Mannequin!”
“Shut up!”
“Mannequin!”
Jules was shouting at the top of her lungs now. A crowd of kids had started to gather around the two girls. The possibility of a classic catfight filled the lunchroom air, and nobody wanted to miss a thing.
Kat noticed that they were being watched and knew she had to dial back the tension a bit.
“Look, you can scream mean things if you want to. I’m not going to apologize for being popular with the other girls.”
“What do these girls even know about you beyond that ridiculous hat? Do they know you love peanut butter and celery? Do they know you sometimes get scared when you’re in that big house all by yourself? Do they know how it upsets you when your parents argue? Or how you cry sometimes cuz your dad’s not around? Do they know any of that stuff? We’re more than friends. We’re blood sisters. Remember?”
“That was when we were five years old, and it wasn’t blood. It was cherry Kool-Aid!”
“An oath is an oath!”
“Well, maybe I’ve outgrown those oaths,” Kat said. “Maybe I’ve outgrown a lot of things.”
“Fine! And maybe I’ve outgrown you! Don’t even think about coming to my birthday party! There! I’ve saved you the trouble. You can go to your little Glitter Girl party on Saturday with a clear conscience. You’re officially uninvited!”
Jules turned on her heels and stormed out of the lunchroom, angrily tossing her unfinished lunch into the trash. With the chances of a catfight off the table, the crowd of kids started to disperse, leaving Kat standing by herself in the middle of the room.
Not quite knowing what to do, she looked around and saw Zoe and Darcy standing by the benches. They had witnessed the whole thing. Zoe walked over to Kat and gave her a big hug. Only Kat didn’t really feel like hugging anybody at the moment.
“Come on,” said Zoe. “Let’s get some fresh air.”
The three girls started to walk out to the schoolyard.
“I didn’t know you liked celery and peanut butter,” Darcy said.
“Shut up, Darcy,” said Zoe.
“Well, did you?” Darcy said to Zoe as they approached the door.
Kat pushed open the heavy metal door that led to the schoolyard. The bright noon sunshine hurt her eyes. She could barely see.
Kat was numb. Just numb.
Chapter 17
What’s Done Cannot Be Undone
“Okay. Who sent it?” Kat looked angrily from Darcy to Zoe.
“Who sent what?” asked Darcy. Kat blinked in disbelief. Was Darcy really that clueless, or was this just a clever ploy to deflect suspicion?
“The video, Darcy,” she snapped, “the one Jules was so upset about thirty seconds ago? Are you even on this planet ever?”
“Hey. Don’t come down on Darcy cuz Little Miss Birkenstocks got her tie-dyed undies all in a bunch!” Zoe jumped to Darcy’s defense, not out of guilt but because it peeved her royally that Kat just assumed it was one of them. Which of course it was, but still.
“There were like twenty girls there who could have taken that video,” continued Zoe, mustering as much indignation as she could to make sure to throw Kat off her scent. “Remember, we all had slam cams! But you’re blaming us? That is so over-the-top wicked. You want someone to blame, maybe you should blame yourself!”
“Me? Why? I didn’t send it to her!” Kat said, slinging the indignation right back at Zoe.
“No. But you said those things,” replied Zoe.
The indignation began seeping out of Kat like the air in a balloon punctured by Zoe’s point.
“Oh puh-lease. You told us yourself you didn’t think Jules belonged at the party. You weren’t even going to invite her! You only changed your mind cuz you were afraid Kyle wouldn’t be so hot on you if you left his little sister off the list.”
“That’s so not true! I–I invited her because she–she’s my friend.” Even as Kat said the words, she knew they didn’t taste true coming out of her mouth.
“You know what? I don’t know who sent that video. But whoever it was did you and Jules a big favor. Now you can finally ditch her dead weight. And she can finally know that you’re really not her friend. Come on, Darce. We’ve got more important things to do than hang out where we’re not trusted.” Zoe turned and walked off.
“We do? Like what?” asked Darcy as she chased after Zoe.
Whatever numbness Kat had felt as a result of her fight with Jules was quickly wearing off. And now she was feeling everything all at once—hurt and guilt and shame that all added up to a general sense of ickiness. So she did the only thing she could think of doing. She ran. Hard.
She didn’t know where she was going at first. She just felt like she had to do something to make herself feel better. When she finally stopped and bent over to catch her breath and to work out the stitch in her side, she realized that she had run to the gym.
The gym had been declared strictly off limits as soon as the Glitter Girl crew showed up to set up for the show, but a lunchtime pickup game was in full swing at the outdoor basketball courts nearby. Kat found herself looking around desperately for Kyle in the sea of tall, lanky boys. Yes, this is where she was headed all along, even though she hadn’t consciously realized it at first.
She spotted Kyle standing off to the side, wiping the sweat off his face with his T-shirt and downing a Gatorade. Already Kat was breathing a little easier and it wasn’t from just catching her breath. She’d talk to Kyle and explain everything, and he’d totally get it. He’d know what to do because he’d known both Kat and Jules, well, forever. He would know how to smooth things over with Jules, and everything would go back to the way it was.
Kat caught Kyle’s eye and she waved and smiled at him. But he didn’t wave and he didn’t smile back. He just gave her a cold stare and rejoined the game, running down the court on a fast break. He could have looked over at her at any moment, even for a second. But as Kat stood there watching him play, she knew that he was not looking at her on purpose.
Kat felt like she had been slapped in the face. It was a diss. A definite diss. There was no other way to explain it because there was no way Kyle hadn’t seen her. He had looked her right in the eye and then just got up and started playing! Suddenly it occurred to Kat that Jules must have shown the video to Kyle.
Kat felt foolish for thinking that Kyle would show allegiance to her above his own sister. And if Kat were honest with herself, she couldn’t blame him. That video made her look pretty bad. And if she were really honest with herself, she’d have to admit that she was to blame for just how bad she looked. The words had, after all, come out of her mouth. She didn’t have to say them. She chose to. Sure she had felt pressured to say them. But that was no excuse. Was it?
Kat felt the tears welling up in her eyes. Even though Kyle was doing everything he could not to look at her, Kat couldn’t let Kyle see her like this. She ducked behind a bank of bleachers that had been removed from the gym to make room for the Glitter Girl stage, and started to cry. She’d lost her best friend, ticked off her other two BFFs, and lost her boyfriend all in the course of thirty minutes. On the suckiness scale, this afternoon clocked in at totally abysmal. Kat put a hand to her mouth to stifle the sobs that were coming quick and hard now.
Suddenly, she heard footsteps and voices coming from the other side of the bleachers near where she stood. She held her breath and leaned back against the wall of the school, not wanting to be heard. But she could hear the voices on the other side of the bleachers very distinctly.
She recognized one voice as belonging to Coach Scofield. The other was that of Assistant Coach Deevers, her balding geometry teacher, whose tangled front teeth forever looked like he’d just eaten a bagel and had forgotten to brush.
“You and Donovan? You gotta be kidding me. I bet she hasn’t had a date since her brother took her to the senior prom,” said Coach Deevers, laughing the same mean laugh that some eighth-grade boys did whenever Carrie Mitchell, the girl who weighed two hundred pounds, walked by them. That always made Kat sooo mad. Why hadn’t she ever said anything? Jules always did.
“Yeah, I know, right? I don’t understand half the stuff that comes out of her mouth. She talks like those old bags that give you tours in a museum or something. Not that I’ve ever been,” Scofield added quickly. “I only heard.”
“So why bother?”
“Cuz I’m new in town and she’s way eager to show me around. And she’s one of them feminist types where she even pays a lot of the time.”
“No way!” Deevers laughed that mean laugh again.
“Yep. At least until basketball season is over and I have time to meet some real chicks, I figure why not? I mean, she’s available, she’s not wearing those dorky glasses anymore, and she did something better to her hair. I’m not sure what.”
“Still, Donovan, that’s scraping the bottom of the barrel.”
“Yeah. But free drinks,” and then they high-fived and they both laughed that awful, mean laugh. Kat felt the blood rise in her face, just like she did whenever she saw Carrie get tormented. And she wanted to say something to these jerks, she really and truly did. But she didn’t. Not like Jules would have done. In the end she just ran into the school building as fast as she could.
Kat walked down the empty hallways, her footsteps echoing, making her feel even more alone than she already felt. She couldn’t believe what she had heard in the gym. Coach Scofield didn’t even like Ms. Donovan. He was using her, and Kat was 100 percent responsible for throwing them together. What had she done? She thought about what Jules would say about this, and it involved a million “I told you so’s” and probably a serious lecture or two.
That’s if Jules were talking to her, which she wasn’t. Somehow Kat was relieved about that because she couldn’t take it, not right now. Not after all that had happened. But then again, she really wished she had someone to talk to and normally that someone would have been Jules. Kat felt really lost, with nowhere to turn.
Then, as if the universe had heard her anguish (and let’s face it, how could it not, as badly as Kat was feeling at the moment), Kat saw it. The hot pink Mercedes with chrome wheels was parked right in front of the school as Kat exited. And standing there, leaning against the hood checking her BlackBerry, was Chelsea. She looked up and saw Kat and gave her the biggest, warmest, most welcoming smile, and Kat completely broke down in tears again. Chelsea rushed over to Kat. “Oh sweetie, what’s wrong?”
Kat just sobbed.
Chelsea put a comforting arm around her. “What do you say you and me play a little hooky?”
The next thing Kat knew, the two of them were sitting at a little bistro table outside the Café Olé in the White Oak Mall having mochaccinos. Kat bared her soul about everything that had happened. It came out in a torrent as she told Chelsea about the video and her blowup with Jules, about her accusations of Zoe and Darcy, and what she overheard Coach Scofield saying about Ms. Donovan. At one point Kat got so upset that she accidentally knocked over her drink. By the time it was all done, more than a few tears (and a considerable amount of chocolate-flavored espresso) had been spilled.
“Look, honey,” Chelsea said finally. “I know it hurts, this whole thing with your friend, but the truth is, relationships change. It happens to everyone. I mean, I don’t even talk to my mother anymore.”
“You don’t talk to your mother?” Kat asked dumbfounded.
“It’s a long story. Anyway, it’s clear to me and practically everyone else who knows you that you’ve outgrown Jules.”
“But we were such good friends.”
“When you were kids. But you’re not a kid anymore. You’re a young woman who is becoming her own person with her own sense of style and direction in the world. And your friend, if you can call her that, doesn’t approve of your choices and she’s making you feel horrible about them, isn’t she?”
“Yeah, I guess so.”
“Well, a good friend would accept you for you who are and not judge you and certainly not jump down your throat for telling the truth.”
Chelsea made a good point. Still—
“But who sent her the video?”
“What difference does it make? The point is, they did you and her a favor because this has been a long time coming.”
“That’s exactly what Zoe said,” said Kat.
“And she’s right! Let me tell you, sweetie, you weren’t doing Jules any favors by allowing this friendship to linger, because, let’s be frank, she will never be in your league. She would only hold you back and end up getting really hurt herself somewhere down the line,” said Chelsea.
Kat mulled this over as she took the last sip of her drink, trying to process what Chelsea had just said. But before she had the chance—
“Hey, you know what always makes me feel better when I’m blue?” Chelsea asked. Before Kat could answer, Chelsea flipped out the shiniest, sleekest-looking silver credit card. “A shopping spree…on the company card.”
Chelsea smiled and grabbed Kat’s hand. “We’ll start with a makeover. Then I saw this gorgeous little ruffled dress in the window at Forever 21.”
As Chelsea’s heels clacked past the straight iron kiosk toward Sephora, Kat had no choice but to scramble after her.
Chapter 18
The Readiness Is All (Plus a Really Kickin’ Sound System)