by Sofia Hunt
When she straightened, Patience stood behind her, wringing her hands. “Are you well?”
“No, I am not. Something has unsettled my stomach.”
“Or someone. Mr. Farrier perhaps?” Patience’s tone indicated concern, not nosiness.
Lizzie glanced around the area but didn’t see anyone else.
“If you’re concerned about Constance and Lucy, they’re picnicking with the Petty’s.”
“Thank goodness.”
“What did he say to upset you?”
“It’s a private matter.”
Patience nodded. “I understand. We all have our private matters.”
Lizzie sighed. “Some more than others.”
* * * *
Avoiding another confrontation with Mr. Farrier, Lizzie holed up inside the inn and tidied up the parlor. Hattie joined her and watched with knowing eyes. Disturbing as she found the timber buyer, her growing attraction to Gage and Logan was just as worrisome. She pleasured herself every night, imagining one or both men touching her in private places, doing unspeakable things to her. Her need for them built to a fevered pitch until she feared she’d bed either one or both at a crook of their fingers. Her disgraceful thoughts shamed her, yet she could not control her lustful imagination. Perhaps, her days with Herbert eroded her sense of decency.
Hattie entered the parlor and poured a glass of whiskey. She downed it with one gulp and licked her lips. If Lizzie continued her current direction, her future may well be as a fallen woman like Hattie. Perhaps even worse if her uncle achieved his goals, she’d be rotting in a prison for a crime she didn’t commit.
“Which one are you favoring, Lizzie?” Hattie asked with her typical frank character.
Shaking her head, Lizzie turned her attention to Hattie and faked ignorance. “I’m not certain what you mean.” Lizzie plumped the cushions on the settee and brushed some lint from the arm of a chair.
“Oh, but you do. Both Logan and Gage are vying for your attention.” Hattie followed her around the room, her skirts swished with each step.
“We are acquaintances, nothing more.” Except for Gage’s incredible kisses on one moonlit night and the hungry looks cast by Logan.
Hattie threw back her head and laughed. “Honey, I’ve been around the block. I know the story. Now if it were me, I wouldn’t bother choosing. I’d have them both.”
Lizzie’s hand shot over her mouth, and she gasped. Hattie couldn’t know the disgraceful thoughts Lizzie had been entertaining.
“Scandalous, isn’t it?” Hattie snorted, not the least bit phased by the inappropriate content of their conversation.
“It’s what I’ve come to expect from you, Hattie.”
“You mean I can’t shock you anymore?” Hattie poked Lizzie’s side, as if they shared a private joke.
“You still shock me, but I do expect it.”
“Well, propriety is overrated. Around here, you can indulge in a few fantasies, and no one will be the wiser.”
“Do you indulge?”
Hattie’s secretive smiled gave nothing away. “We’re talking about you with Gage.” Hattie raised both eyebrows. “And with Logan.”
“I can’t have either of them, let alone both of them.” Lizzie sighed in misery.
Hattie’s red lips turned down into a frown, and she grew serious. “Walk with me. It’s rare for it to be so warm early in the summer. Let’s get out of here and talk.”
Lizzie agreed, eager to escape the confines of the inn and all the prying eyes, including her nosy sisters.
A few minutes later, the two women strolled down a wooded path covered with moss and flanked by huge cedar trees and native ferns. The sun peeked through the limbs of the trees, warming the cold, damp earth.
“Tell me your problems, child. You can trust old Hattie. Nothing surprises me, and I will keep your confidence, unlike our loose-lipped Lucy. Some day that girl will regret her gossiping.” Hattie linked her arm in Lizzie’s and waited with her characteristic patience. “Tell me what has you so troubled with two luscious men in your life.
“It’s all so complicated.” Lizzie sighed, a tendril of sadness and longing entwined her heart.
“It doesn’t have to be. This is a rugged, lawless land. We make our own laws, based on what’s fair and kind.”
Lizzie needed a sympathetic ear. No one knew the hell she’d been through at the hands of Herbert Stein and Uncle Robert. Not even her sisters, who’d be riddled with guilt. “I’ve misrepresented myself, and I’m afraid they’ll ship me back to Boston if they find out.”
“In what manner?”
“I’ve been married before, and I am not an innocent.”
Hattie considered Lizzie’s words and cast no judgment. “I fail to see the problem unless your husband is still your husband.”
“He is dead.” Lizzie spoke matter-of-factly, as she harbored no good feelings toward Herbert.
“I’m sorry.”
“No need to be. He was an unkind old man.”
“Ah, an old man. But you are a widow and available to remarry, so I’m not understanding your issue.”
“The Gallaghers insisted the brides be pure and unsullied ladies.”
Hattie snorted. “I considered their requirements to be ludicrous at the time, but Logan is a stubborn man. He didn’t want baggage or issues accompanying the women he’d funded to come here. Ridiculous. There isn’t a person alive without baggage.”
“But it was their money and their right to establish the requirements.”
Hattie nodded. “I reckon you are correct.”
“So you see, I have a problem. I have baggage.”
“Your husband, what happened to him?”
“He’s dead.” Lizzie launched into the entire sordid story, starting with her most recent concerns regarding Mr. Farrier and whether or not he might have been sent by her uncle and ending with her marriage to Herbert.
Certainly, she’d only lain with the man a few times, yet none of his attempts to consummate the marriage succeeded. He could not achieve an erection because her appearance was not comely enough. Besides, her husband had preferred his women more submissive and pliable, another quality she lacked. Instead, he treated her with cruelty. Herbert capitalized on every opportunity to demonstrate to her how women were merely possessions and had no voice in a man’s world. In the last months of his life, he forced her watch his vulgar acts with other women. During the last of those acts, he’d died while being pleasured by two harlots.
“So you see,” Lizzie spoke quietly, “if Herbert had lived, he would have bent or broken my spirit. I will not be controlled by another man, nor be a party to a deviant lifestyle.”
Hattie poured another drink and considered Lizzie’s words. “Logan is an understanding man if you’re honest with him.”
“He doesn’t seem the least bit understanding to me.”
“You don’t know him like I do, but you need to tell him the truth and soon, or he may not be so forgiving.”
“He’ll ship me back, and I can’t go back there.”
“No, he won’t, but he does expect you to uphold your end of the agreement. You’re here to find a man.”
“I don’t want a man, any man. And no man will want me.”
“Honey, all women want a man or two.” Hattie winked at her and laughed a deep, throaty laugh. And as far as you’re concerned, it appears both Logan and Gage have set their sights on you.”
“They won’t want me. I—I—am soiled, and I am not desirable. They only want a woman, a willing woman, and they’ve instinctually perceived my indecent thoughts.” Lizzie swiped at a tear, which fell unbidden down one cheek.
Hattie frowned. For once, she seemed at a loss for words. She stood and paced the room, her ample bosom bobbing up and down.
Lizzie watched, helpless and frustrated. “So you see my dilemma. If I married, the man I married would discover I am impure, most likely on our wedding night. He’d be furious. To make matters worse, he w
ill tire of my dull looks and strong personality. I am incapable of satisfying a man.”
Shaking her head, Hattie stopped, pursed her lips, and bent to pluck a red wildflower. “Honey, it doesn’t take much to satisfy a man. Being a woman in most cases is enough.”
“Not for me.” Despair overwhelmed Lizzie.
Hattie looked at her as if she must be daft in the head. “Regardless, Mr. Farrier must be dealt with. Logan must be told. He’ll protect you.” She tucked the flower behind her ear.
“Protect me? He’ll ship me back or worse, throw me out onto the streets to fend for myself.”
“Logan has more compassion than he’s given credit for.” Hattie dabbed at the corners of her painted mouth with a handkerchief.
“I don’t have your faith in him or any man.” Lizzie hugged herself.
“Honey, he’s one of the few men I’d ever place my trust in. That’s saying a lot. Would you be more comfortable if I spoke with Gage?”
Lizzie nodded, though neither man presented the best option, they appeared to be her only options.
Chapter 6
Lizzie’s Journal, Afternoon of July 1, 1864
Port Steele, Washington Territory
I do not regret telling Hattie about my past and my concerns with Mr. Farrier. I do regret we were not more vigilant about being overheard. After returning from our walk, Hattie requested I stay in my room while she handled the situation. I have come to value her wise counsel despite her outward appearances.
I am certain Mr. Farrier is somehow working with my uncle to obtain the deed to my parent’s land and business, which I have in my possession. He will not get it, as my parents’ bloodshed will not have been in vain. Nor will I endanger my sisters in the process. I am not surprised Uncle Robert has accused me of being a murderer when he most certainly murdered my parents for their holdings.
I hope Hattie is back soon for I am sick with worry.
* * * *
Gage walked into the room, followed by Logan. Hattie had requested his presence, not Logan’s. Yet, one look at the stubborn set of Logan’s jaw, and Gage knew Logan wasn’t going anywhere.
As if uncertain she should have this discussion in front of both men, Hattie’s gaze flicked from one to the other.
“It’s about Lizzie.”
“What about her?” Concern slid through Gage.
Logan frowned and settled his big frame into a chair. Gage sat next to Hattie.
“She’s in a bit of trouble.”
“I knew she was hiding something. I could just feel it. Is she escaping from the law?” Logan propped his feet on the short table in front of him and crossed his arms over his broad chest. Hattie patted his shoulder. “Ah, Logan, if only I was twenty-five years younger. But shame on me for thinking such thoughts. This isn’t about me, it’s about dear, sweet, tormented Lizzie.”
“What kind of trouble?” Gage leaned forward in his seat. The depth of his feelings surprised him.
“She’s afraid you’ll ship her back to the East Coast if you find out.”
Logan opened his mouth, appearing ready to dress Hattie down. She silenced him with a withering look. “If I tell you, you must promise she can stay here.”
“I’ll make no such promise. She signed a legally binding agreement. If she falsified it, I’m within my rights to send her packing.”
Gage glared at Logan and ignored his brother’s words. “We agree to let her stay.”
“We do not agree.”
“We do,” Gage insisted. The brothers exchanged a look. For a moment, Gage feared bloodshed. Then Logan softened, slightly.
“If she means that much to you, brother, I’ll concede.”
“She does.” Gage admitted the truth to himself and them. He addressed Hattie. “Out with it, woman.”
“She’s a widow.”
Gage’s face fell. “She’s not a virgin?” He’d fantasized about initiating her into the rites of sex. He wanted to be her first. He wondered if it changed things between them. He wasn’t certain. She’d been dishonest. He’d had his heart broken once before by a woman who pretended to be something she wasn’t. He’d believed her to be an innocent schoolmarm. In truth, she’d been with every man in town for money. She’d almost trapped him in what would have been a nightmarish marriage. Because of his naivety with women, he’d never seen her for what she really was. Could that be the case with Lizzie?
Logan’s gaze met his. His brother’s frown deepened, but he held his tongue.
“She needed to get away from Boston. Her uncle married her off to his dear friend, a revolting old letch. Once the man died, the uncle threatened to give her to the husband’s brother. He also planned to marry Lizzie’s sisters off to the highest bidder. Coming here was their escape, as the uncle cut off their money. Lizzie feared what would happen to them if they stayed. The uncle and his friends have dark desires.”
“Darker than ours?” Logan mused.
Hattie smiled. “In a different way. You two are not cruel. This man and his cronies are. Winston Farrier has been watching her.”
“The timber buyer. I knew there was something about that man I didn’t like, other than him jerking our chain regarding who’ll get his timber contract.” Gage’s fingers itched to be wrapped around the man’s throat.
Logan’s eyes darkened. “Why would Farrier take an interest in her?”
“He approached her today, admitted he knew her uncle and insinuated she’d killed her husband. Lizzie believes her uncle wants the deed to her parents’ property and business, which she has in her possession. He may be willing to go as far as falsely accusing her to get it.”
“She’s never going back there. Why doesn’t she just give him the deed and wash her hands of him?” Gage fisted his hands. Emotions churned inside him, surprising in their depth and intensity. Perhaps this was love at first sight, a concept he’d previously considered preposterous.
“Her parents were murdered. She suspects the uncle did it to get their assets, but she fled with the one thing he wanted. She’ll never give it to him, not when he caused her parents’ death.”
Logan nodded. “The bastard doesn’t deserve it. He deserves a prison cell.”
Typical Logan. He saw the world in black and white. Gage saw it in shades of gray, which he knew was a little unusual, considering his analytical mind. He understood Logan’s reaction. He also understood how much safer the three women would be if they conceded the property to the uncle. “What do you propose we do about it, Hattie?” Logan stood and paced the room.
“One of you needs to marry her to keep her safe.”
Logan stopped and both brothers’ eyes met.
“How would that keep her safe?” Gage frowned, not certain about making such a leap.
“Both Mr. Farrier and the uncle are cowards. It’s one thing to terrorize an unmarried woman with no man to protect her. Taking on the Gallaghers in their own domain is an entirely different matter.”
“You do make sense.” Logan leaned against the fireplace and stared at the hearth, deep in thought.
“I need to be the one.” Gage said the words before he thought twice, despite how she’d lied to him. He understood her lies somewhat. Even good people lied depending on their circumstances. Desperation did that to a person.
“No need to be gallant, Gage. I’ll marry the woman. I have better defenses against a manipulative woman than you.”
“Are you implying I’m weak?”
“Not in the least. I’m implying you are more susceptible to a woman’s charms, and I’m much more jaded about such matters.”
“No, I insist. It must be me.” Even as he spoke the words, doubts assailed him. His brother knew him well. Gage was vulnerable in matters of the heart.
Logan picked up a fireplace poker and tapped it on the stone hearth. “I just hope you know what you’re doing. If she lied to us about one thing, she won’t hesitate to lie about others.”
“I’m marrying her.” Gage didn’t hes
itate, didn’t allow himself room to recant his rash decision. He never made rash decisions. He examined every angle, overturned every stone. Yet, sometimes a man needed to make a decision based on his instincts. This appeared to be one of those times.
He’d save Lizzie from her uncle. Together with his brothers, they’d protect her and her sisters.
* * * *
Lizzie’s mouth fell open. She stared at Gage, beyond shocked, more like dumbfounded. This was Hattie’s solution to her problem? She wanted the Gallaghers’ assistance, not their name attached to her name. “You want to marry me?”
“Yes, Hattie told us about your dilemma. I know the whole story. I’m willing to offer you my protection.”
“But I was dishonest with you.”
He shrugged, and she could tell her dishonesty bothered him. “I’ll get over it.”
“Will you? Really?” She didn’t want to trap him into a marriage out of duty.
“I’ll try. That’s all I can promise.” Gage stared at his hands fisted in his lap.
Tears welled up in Lizzie’s eyes. She was not a crier. Not one bit, yet this kind, sensitive man had broken down her defenses, blown up the walls, and walked right in like he owned the place. “I can’t let you do this.”
“Of course you can.”
“I’m not pure.”
He sighed. “I guess I’ll deal with it.”
“I’m incapable of satisfying a man.”
He looked up and laughed which softened the lines of stress around his eyes. “Who told you that?”
“My husband. I didn’t please him in that way.” Or in any way for that matter.
“He was a fool. From the moment I laid eyes on you, I wanted you, Lizzie. Do you feel the same about me?” He grasped her hands and squeezed them gently.
This was a good man. She knew it as deeply as she knew her uncle and dead husband had been bad men. Yet, there was Logan. Always Logan, hovering in the background on the edge of her thoughts. Her dreams rotated between Logan and Gage, confusing her as to which man she preferred. They were so different, yet so much alike. She feared she’d fallen in love with both of them. Not only was this disturbing, it was downright unacceptable.