“I suppose you are right, for now,” Val said, nodding. “Though it would do you well to remember that we are not on this mission to be saviors of the city. Our goal is the continued security and prosperity of Kaldan. Should we find that this is accomplished through the continued occupation and fall of Attetsia, we will return to the capital without the need for intervention.”
The thought soured my stomach. “Val, you can’t possibly be on board with that idea.”
She turned her back to me and faced the road again. “The Golden Throne’s relationship with Attetsia has been strained since the city-state’s formation. If the coup holds, we may find the new leadership more willing to cooperate than the previous Attetsian council. It is not our job to look after the wellbeing of the citizens or the interests of the original leadership.”
I opened my mouth to complain, but Lia shifted in my lap and drew my focus away from the argument. She stared straight up at me with her eyes still red from sleep and the previous night’s tears. My annoyance with Val faded away as a smile spread across my face. “Hey, you,” I said softly, pushing a strand of hair from her face. “How did you sleep?”
Lia’s eyes darted around in a brief moment of confusion until she regained her bearings. “Oh...uhm, good, I guess,” she said with a yawn. “My head feels sort of...heavy? Like there’s a pressure pushing out from behind my eyes, and it’s slowing my brain down.” She rolled her head to the side and rested her cheek against my stomach, closing her eyes again. “Maybe it’ll go away if I sleep some more.”
“Maybe,” I chuckled. “You can sleep as long as you’d like today, no training required.” A warmth filled my chest as I caressed her face gently. “You’ve earned it.”
She nodded as she readjusted herself on the bench to a more comfortable sleeping position. “Last night is still a bit foggy; the memories are all disconnected and jumbled up in my head. I trained with Val, we set up camp, then the men showed up…” She paused momentarily, and I saw her grimace slightly. “After the fight, Val took the last man away to ask him questions, and we sat by the fire. We talked for a while, and you—”
Her thought was cut off by a soft squeak as her face turned bright red. “Uhm, d-did you, uhm…” She turned her head to break eye contact and stared blankly into my chest. “Last night, when we were, uhm, talking, by the fire? My head is all fuzzy, I think I’m, er, imagining things.” I could feel her squirm back and forth awkwardly against my lap as she spoke. “Unless you actually...uhm, did you say—”
“Yes,” I said, smiling. As much as I enjoyed watching her adorable wiggling, I found her hand and wrapped my fingers between hers to put an end to her uncertainty. “I did.”
A tingle ran up my arm from where our hands met, and for a moment I could feel Lia’s consciousness against mine. Her presence was intoxicating; a pure, overflowing feeling of love so rich and inviting I felt I could lose myself within it. I wanted nothing more than to let go of all the anxiety and worries I held in the back of my mind and just exist in the moment with her, but Val’s voice interrupted my paradise. “I am glad to see you up, Lia. Are you feeling well today?”
Lia bolted upright and quickly pulled her hand away from mine. “Y-yes! I’m feeling, uhm, quite well this morning! Are you feeling, er, alright?” She spoke down towards the floor as her face burned bright red, apparently not having realized Val sat only a few feet away from us. “That was stupid, of course you are. I’m just...tired. Yeah! I’m still a little groggy from waking up, is all!”
My displeasure towards Val for interrupting our moment fought against my amusement over Lia’s embarrassment, mixing my face somewhere between a smirk and a grimace. I gave Lia a light squeeze on the shoulder in consolation. “I’m sorry we woke you. Val and I were just discussing the new information we received on the state of Attetsia. It would seem that the city has already fallen to a group of rebels, aided by a mercenary group called the Elta’sahn Company.”
Her eyes grew wide at the name. “Pirates!” she exclaimed confidently. I froze, unsure whether to be amused or concerned by the outburst.
“More or less,” Val replied, tilting her head side to side. “The Elta’sahn Company is most renowned for their impressive naval capabilities. With Attetsia’s strong walls, I am not surprised the rebels would look to them specifically.”
Lia pondered the situation for a moment. “So...what does all of that mean for us? What do we do when we reach the city?”
I glared as much animosity as I could muster into the back of Val’s head as she continued to drive the wagon. “I was just asking Val the same thing. What say you, heroic leader?”
My venom-drenched words seemed lost on her. “Our objective remains the same: To determine whether the situation in Attetsia is a direct threat to Kaldan. When we reach the city, we will find a way through the wall and make an initial assessment. It is vital we uncover the goals of this rebel faction and the Company, either through diplomacy or other means.”
She tapped the side of the shield on her back. “I believe I will still carry enough diplomatic importance to be allowed inside. We only need to stay long enough to decide if the new leadership is dangerous for our kingdom. Should we find them...less than hospitable, we can proceed to the determination of whether we dismantle their organization ourselves or return to the capitol to gather reinforcements.”
“You know the scouts we encountered last night were sent out to stop you, right? As in you, the King’s Shield, specifically? That sounds like the opposite of diplomatic.” I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. “This is why I wanted to work alone,” I muttered under my breath.
“We will see once we arrive,” Val said with finality.
I grunted in response and slouched down in my seat, annoyed. It’s never straightforward. I can’t just do the damn job; there’s always something, or someone, in the way. Lia slid up next to me and nudged me gently with her elbow to rouse me from my brooding. My displeasure must have been written plainly on my face, as she gave me a reassuring smile and extended her hand out to me. Doing my best to remove my scowl, I took her hand and leaned my head against hers.
The rest of the day’s travelling passed by uneventfully. Lia and I sat hand in hand, quietly enjoying each other’s company for the majority of the trip while Val drove the wagon. True to my word, I never brought up the topic of training; I wanted to give Lia a break from anything that would remind her of the previous night’s events, but I also couldn’t stand the thought of disturbing our comfortable existence for any reason. When I sat with her, my mind could push back the thoughts of what awaited us in Attetsia that loomed heavier every day.
As the last traces of sun disappeared over the horizon, Val drove the cart to a secluded spot a few minutes off of the main road. “No campfire tonight,” she warned us as she hopped down from the driver’s bench. “We are within a day’s ride of the city. They may have more scouts patrolling the area, so we will need to be cautious. No unnecessary light or noise.”
“Of course,” I nodded to her. “Lia, grab your things. We’re going to train.”
Val’s head snapped back into frame at the front of the wagon, and she stared at me with her usual inscrutable expression. “I understand that you may be unhappy with me, Lux, but this is not the appropriate way to handle it. You should not put us all in more danger just to spite me.”
I waved her off dismissively. “You said no unnecessary noise. This is important. Besides, we’ll be quiet, right?” I looked to Lia and raised my eyebrows.
She looked between Val and myself a few times before nodding. “Definitely! It’ll be okay Val, I promise.”
Val stared me down in an uncomfortable silence before walking off without another word. I strapped my sword to my back and hopped down from the end of the wagon and, together with Lia, headed off into the dimming evening light. “She’s right, you know. This probably isn’t the best time to be training,” she said when we were well out of earshot of camp.
She quickened her pace to walk even with me. “You told me we weren’t going to train today, too.”
“I know,” I repeated.
Lia groaned and shook her head, then hopped out in front of me to block my path. “Where are we going?”
I stopped short and looked around the clearing. The wagon had faded into the darkness behind us, and was currently blocked from sight by a small knoll. “Here is good.” I slid my scabbard from my back and sat down in the grass, placing the weapon next to me. “Sit with me, Lia. We need to talk.”
She lowered herself to the grass across from me, eyeing me cautiously. “About what?”
“A lot of things.” I took a breath to gather my thoughts. “I’m worried about what we’ll find when we reach Attetsia tomorrow. I know things sound relatively straightforward now, but my past lives are telling me that something more sinister is happening behind the scenes. I don’t know what it is yet, but I can feel it in my gut.”
“I understand,” she said with a somber nod. “We’ll find out what’s really going on in there, and we’ll stop it. Together.” Her hand reached out and patted my knee reassuringly.
The smile that spread across my face was a sad one. “I know. It will most likely be dangerous, but I promise I’ll keep you safe. And I know you’ll keep me safe, too.” I put my hand over hers. “When we fix things, there’s a good chance I’ll be...taken away again.”
Her face fell as she looked away. “You don’t know that.”
“Lia,” I reached out and turned her head gently by the chin. Her amber eyes rippled and shone in the starlight, searching my face for some trace of hope. “Anything’s possible. I hope that I’m wrong about it, but there’s a good chance that I’m not. If that happens, I need to know that you’ll be okay without me.”
She closed her eyes and shook her head back and forth, pushing a stream of tears down each cheek. “I can’t promise you that. I don’t know...I don’t know what I'd do if you leave. I-I...”
“I love you, Lia.” The words sent a blossom of warmth through my chest. “I’m sorry it took me so long to say it. I’ve felt it for a long time, but my brain had a hard time catching up with my heart. There were some things I had to work through on my own before I could accept it.”
“Amaya,” she whispered. The name sounded like a forbidden prayer on her lips
I nodded. “I know that she’s still waiting for me, somewhere. But she would want me to be happy in the life I have now. She’ll always hold a special place in my heart, just like Alda.” I gave her hand a squeeze. “Just like you.”
“You don’t talk about Alda very often,” she stated sadly, seemingly as a question.
“She was like a daughter to me,” I answered. “In the end, I failed her. Not because of how things ended in Hedaat, but because…” My throat tightened, threatening to silence me. “Because I didn’t tell her how special she was to me before it was too late.” I coughed away the lump in my throat. “If I do have to leave here, I’ll leave knowing I didn’t make that mistake again.”
The words were too much for her. She leaned forward and hung her hands around my neck as she cried. “I don’t want you to leave,” she managed to whisper.
I rested my head against hers and felt a tear stream down my face. “I don’t want to leave you. I want to stay here, and show you the world, and take you on all of the adventures you could ever want.” I cradled her face in my hands and found it hot with tears.
She raised her head and looked into my eyes, our faces only inches apart. “You promised you would.”
My jaw clenched as I nodded, not trusting myself to speak without my voice breaking. There were so many things I wanted to say to her, but I couldn’t force the words out. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I wish I hadn’t gotten you caught up in all of this. I want to make you happy for the rest of your life. When my voice failed me, I instead leaned in and kissed her gently on the lips. It only lasted for a moment, but I felt as though it somehow conveyed all of the thoughts stuck inside my head, unable to be articulated.
I pulled back a few inches and found a look of pure shock on her face. Her eyes fled my gaze as her face flushed, and it looked as though she was considering something. Before I could ask what was on her mind, she flung herself onto me, banging her head against mine slightly as she returned the kiss. Our weight shifted, and I fell helplessly backwards into the grass as she pushed against me.
Where my kiss had been soft and fleeting, Lia’s was full of energy and passion as a month’s worth of repressed feelings was finally released all at once. Her fingers dug slowly through the hair on the back of my head while her other hand pressed firmly down against the center of my chest. My brain fought valiantly to process all of the sensations in real time and think of the implications, but it gave in to my rapidly growing sense of desire.
All of the feelings I had locked away and compartmentalized since meeting her broke free immediately. The memories of changing clothes beside her and curling up together at night took on new meaning as I became acutely aware of her body mounted on top of mine, her chest heaving with impassioned breaths and her legs shifting around my waist. My hand caressed the side of her face as I leaned into the kiss, while my other hand fought for purchase beside me in an attempt to prop myself up. The smell of her hair and the taste of her lips screamed at my brain to shut down entirely and run entirely on instinct.
I managed to gain leverage with my free arm and pushed off hard, rolling us over in the field. Carefully lowering her head down to the ground, I propped myself up on my elbows and hovered a few inches over her on all fours. My mouth opened to speak, but she grabbed me by the collar of my leather armor and pulled me back down for another kiss. I laughed against her mouth and kissed her back for a few more seconds. Her tongue appeared against my lips, sending my eyebrows up in surprise as I marveled at her confidence with a smile. I felt her smile as well, and we both laughed softly.
It was harder than I had expected to pull myself away from her again. “Lia, we should probably, uhm…” I giggled as a surge of giddy energy tingled out through my body. “We should probably head back to camp soon.” I dove down for another quick kiss. “Not to say I’m not enjoying myself. Quite the opposite, in fact.”
My heart skipped a beat as she stared up at me with sultry eyes and shifted her shoulders back and forth. “But I don’t want to leave yet.”
Has she always been this...forward? Am I really that oblivious? “Well, neither do I. But we should.” I put a finger on her chin and traced it down her neck to the top of her armor. “I promise that I’ll find us a time to continue this, er, conversation.” A devious grin spread across my face as I rocked back to my knees and stood up. Lia put on an exaggerated pout and held up her hands pitifully. I chuckled and pulled her to her feet, then wrapped her in a tight hug. “Everything is going to be alright.”
The light of day was completely faded when we started our walk back to camp, but the lack of light was a non-issue: Lia could see well enough in the dark, and my Detection clearly highlighted the path before us. I felt completely at ease as we walked, hand in hand, through the darkness. I should have told her how I felt weeks ago.
“Lia,” I said, breaking the comfortable silence between us, “how are you feeling? After what happened last night, I mean.”
There was a long pause before her answer came. “I’m okay.”
I twirled my thumb gently around hers. “You don’t have to be okay. I know you said you wanted to be strong, but it’s obviously understandable if you’re still feeling...off.”
“I know. I kept seeing his face in my sleep last night, or when my mind would wander during our ride today. All I want to do is tell him to run away, or to throw away his weapon. At first it made me feel angry that he made me kill him, and sick because of what I did.” She spoke with a slow, somber voice as she recalled the incident again. “Now I just feel sad. I kn
ow that he wanted to hurt me, and that he wanted to hurt you. If I hadn’t fought back, he probably would have killed me. I understand all that, and I know that I’m okay, but it still makes me sad.”
I shifted my arm around her shoulders and pulled her close as we continued on through the field. “That’s a good thing, you know. It means that you’re a kind, compassionate person. The more times you find yourself in that situation, the less it will bother you, but it should never feel...good.” I gave her a squeeze. “If that does end up happening, I want you to tell me, okay?”
“Okay,” she agreed as she leaned her head against my shoulder. We were only a few minutes from camp, though I still couldn’t see it without Detection magic; our plan of laying low and not drawing attention meant that we would be eating a dark, cold supper without a fire. I sighed at the thought and scratched my stomach absentmindedly as thoughts of hot soup and roasted game taunted me. Just before we reached earshot of camp, Lia stopped. “I love you, Lux.” Her voice was timid and small, as if she were telling me a secret.
I realized then that it was the first time she had spoken the words to me, despite our mutual understanding of the feeling. With a warm smile, I turned to face her. “I love you too, Lia.”
A large grin spread across her face as she giggled to herself. She pulled down on my arm and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek. “Good!” she laughed with her usual upbeat energy. With that, she turned and ran into camp without looking back. I quietly reflected on how lucky I was to have met her as I entered the campsite a few moments later.
“I trust you were cautious in your training?” Val questioned me as soon as I came into view. “Or, at the very least, you went far enough away that you would not draw attention to our actual location?”
“Of course,” I said with a roll of my eyes. “I told you we’d be quiet, and we were quiet.”
“Mmhmm,” she replied as she tore into a strip of jerky.
I sat heavily on the ground across from her. “I know you may not be happy with me, Val, but this is not the appropriate way to handle it,” I mocked, throwing her words back at her. “I may not agree with you, but I’m not stupid. If the camp is discovered tonight, it won’t be because of us.” Digging through the pouch at my hip, I retrieved a similar strip of dried meat and took a bite.
Restart Again: Volume 2 Page 16