Yesterday and Today

by Phoebe Rivers

  “Not big plans,” my dad answered as he drove the few blocks to Lenny’s. “I’ve been invited to a dinner party at the Flanagans’, but they did mention something about there being a nice single lady there they would like me to meet.”

  “Ah, so a blind date? Won’t that be awkward?” I couldn’t imagine being fixed up on a blind date. It was nerve-racking enough to be on my way to meet Mason for pizza! I was glad that blind dates were only something older people did.

  “No, not a date. Just a dinner party. I’m the convenient eligible male in a lot of people’s address books in Stellamar, I’ve discovered.” He grinned ruefully as we approached Lenny’s. “I’ve accepted that it’s easier to just go along with it than to try and protest.”

  “Okay, well . . . have fun tonight,” I said as I unbuckled my seat belt and got out of the car. “I hope she turns out to be really nice.”

  “Thanks, kiddo. You have fun too. If Mason’s mom can’t drive you home and it’s after dark, then call me and I’ll come pick you up.”

  I told him I would.

  Mason was waiting for me as I walked up to the door of Lenny’s. I felt that familiar sensation when I was in his presence—dry mouth, sweaty palms, not sure where to look. He was really good-looking, but in an almost opposite-of-Jayden kind of way. Jayden had been my first crush. He’d moved away. He had been tall, dark, and handsome. Coffee eyes. Almond-colored skin. Chocolate-brown hair. Mason had almost white-blond hair and was fair-complexioned with green eyes. He blushed easily, like I did. He wasn’t quite as tall as Jayden, but he had broad shoulders and an athletic walk.

  I knew it was probably wrong to compare them. I’m sure I wouldn’t like it if I knew Mason was comparing me to some other girl. But I did anyway. And it wasn’t just a physical difference. Mason was different from Jayden in a lot of ways. With Jayden, I was always laughing and goofing around. Mason was more serious. I had always felt at ease with Jayden, and I can’t say I ever really felt that way with Mason.

  There was one really important detail about Mason. He and I had a special connection, one that I had not shared with Jayden.

  Mason had powers too.

  Not like mine. He couldn’t see spirits, but he could move objects with his mind. Lady Azura called it telekinesis. He’d recently told his parents what he could do, but I was the only kid who knew about it. I had promised to keep it a secret for him, and I had. I hadn’t even told Lily, though I sometimes wished I could, because it would help for her to know the whole story when I talked to her about Mason. But a promise was a promise, and I wasn’t going to break mine.

  Mason also knew about my powers. He had promised not to tell anyone about them either. I wasn’t that worried about it. A year ago, it would have totally stressed me out to think a boy I liked knew my secret. I had been so worried Jayden was going to find out, though he never did. I managed to keep it hidden from him, even when the spirit of his brother, Marco, started showing up. That hadn’t been easy to do.

  But it didn’t bother me now. Since I had told Lily what I could do, and she had totally accepted it, I felt way less anxiety over what everyone else would think of me if they knew.

  “Hey,” Mason said with a half smile. He looked quickly at me and then just as quickly looked away.

  “Hey,” I replied, also letting my gaze drop to the ground.

  You see him all the time at school. You’re just meeting for pizza. This is no big deal. Calm down and act like a normal person.

  We stood in the doorway and looked inside at the bustling pizza place.

  Finally I said, “It’s cold out here.”

  “Yeah, sure is.”

  “Sooo . . . want to go in?”

  “Oh. Yeah, sure.”

  We went in and sat down at a small booth away from the front door. It was warmer inside. I commented about it to Mason.

  “Is it too warm? Are you hot?” he asked, looking around the restaurant as if to scope out a table in a cooler spot.

  “No, this is fine. I just meant it’s not cold in here like outside.”

  Mason nodded and then our conversation stalled until the waitress came over. We ordered a small plain pie to share and two sodas. Mason got root beer. I chose ginger ale. I racked my brains for something to talk about.

  “So—”

  “So—”

  We both spoke at the same time, and then we both stopped. The large bottle of red pepper flakes fell over even though neither of us had touched it. Mason’s face turned red, and he reached over to pick up the bottle.

  “Sorry,” he murmured.

  “Don’t worry about it,” I said with a small smile.

  “I sometimes can’t help it,” he explained. “The stuff my mind moves, that is.”

  “I get it,” I said, trying to be reassuring. “I can’t control when I see spirits, though I sometimes wish I could control it. And besides, I think it’s pretty awesome that you can do it.” And I meant it.

  He shook his head, his expression darkening. “I don’t. I really wish I could get rid of this—this problem. Just last week I saw Mr. Hoagland in the supermarket when I was there with my mom. I’d skipped his class that morning and gone to the nurse saying I didn’t feel well, because I hadn’t done the reading. I didn’t want him to see me. To have him ask me about it in front of my mom.”

  I waited. He seemed to want to go on, but it also seemed to bother him to talk about the incident.

  “Anyway, just like that, a huge pyramid of soup cans went crashing to the floor and rolling all over the place. I made it happen. With my mind. But not on purpose. I just didn’t want to see him, to have him ask me how I was feeling with my mom standing right there. But I hadn’t meant to knock all those cans over. And some poor guy had to clean them up. I felt really bad about it.”

  He clamped his mouth shut as the waitress came over with our sodas.

  I waited for him to continue, but he seemed to be finished with his story. I wasn’t sure what to say.

  “It wasn’t your fault, Mason,” I said finally.

  He gave me a bewildered look. “Of course it was my fault. I did it. Don’t you get that?”

  “Well, I guess it was technically your fault, but you shouldn’t beat yourself up about it. It was just some soup cans! Give it time. I’m sure you’ll figure out how to control it.” He seemed to be listening to what I was saying, so I kept going. “I’m getting better all the time dealing with the spirit stuff. My great-grandmother is helping me. You probably just need some practice.”

  “I don’t want to practice,” Mason replied, crumpling his straw wrapper in his fist, as if for emphasis. “I just want it to go away. All I do is worry that someone will find out,” he said in a low voice. “I feel like a freak. We’re quite the pair, you and I.”

  Was he calling me a freak? I was pretty sure he was. I didn’t know how to respond to that, so I decided to change the subject.

  “So have they said when you guys can get back to Harbor Isle?” I asked. Mason and a bunch of his classmates lived two towns over. Their school had been damaged in the hurricane we’d had a few weeks ago. That’s why he was going to school in Stellamar.

  He shook his head and shrugged. “Probably a few more months,” he said. “They’ll have us finish out the semester. Makes sense, I guess.”

  I nodded as the waitress came over with our pizza. It smelled delicious.

  For a while we focused on our pizza. Lenny’s has a lot of good stuff on every table you can add to your pizza—pepper flakes, oregano, even freshly grated parmesan cheese that comes in little bowls with spoons to sprinkle it on. I added liberal amounts of oregano and cheese. Mason ignored the extra toppings and dug right in.

  We ate in near silence. A few times I tried starting up a conversation, but Mason wasn’t very talkative. I felt confused. I’d been so excited about this yesterday. But now that I was here, the energy between Mason and me seemed way off. Was it me? I felt a pang of longing for Jayden and tried to push him ou
t of my mind. It really wasn’t fair for me to be thinking about him while I was out with another boy . . . even if that boy was proving to be a not-very-fun dinner date.

  After we ate, I suggested we walk down the block for ice cream at Scoops. It was only 6:40. It seemed like an embarrassingly short time to hang out together if we were really on what you’d call a date. Maybe we’d meet up with people we knew who could help move the conversation along. He looked a little hesitant. But then he agreed.

  As we walked into Scoops, my heart sank. Across the restaurant, along the opposite wall, there was a booth with some girls we knew, but they weren’t girls I particularly wanted to hang out with. They were all from Harbor Isle.

  “Mason! Over here!” One of the girls sprang to her feet, waving wildly and gesturing toward her table. It was Jody Jenner.

  Chapter 4

  Jody was a classmate of Mason’s from Harbor Isle, one of the kids who was attending Stellamar Middle School. She’d zoomed to the top of the popularity charts at Stellamar in no time flat, which I guess wasn’t surprising, given her amazing looks and seemingly endless confidence. And the fact that kids thought her parents were ultracool. Her dad was a famous director. Her mom was a former model turned famous photographer. With the help of her parents and their many connections, Jody had organized a hurricane-relief fund-raiser auction, which had been wildly popular and raised a lot of money. She was the middle school equivalent of a queen.

  I wanted to like Jody. In some ways, she reminded me of Lily—she was pretty, smart, and really outgoing. But unlike Lily, she wasn’t always very nice. I couldn’t shake the feeling that she didn’t like me. And she and Lily definitely didn’t like each other. I tried to stay neutral. Lily didn’t mind conflict. I much preferred to avoid it.

  And speaking of conflict, it was becoming pretty clear to me that Jody liked Mason. Like-liked him. Which, according to Lily, explained why she didn’t like me. It was all very complicated.

  “Hi, guys!” said Jody, her eyes trained on Mason. “Come join us!”

  “Um . . . sure,” Mason said. After he said it, he glanced over at me as if to ask if that was all right, but what was I going to say? I shrugged slightly, and he headed over to the booth. I recognized one of the other three girls sitting with Jody. Caroline something. I’d met her before. But I had never really spoken to the other two.

  They all squished together to make room for Mason and me.

  “So, can I get anyone ice cream?” Mason asked awkwardly. The three girls already had ice cream, so obviously he was talking just to me. But he was acting like it was just a general question to the group. Was he trying to pretend we weren’t here together?

  The girls all exchanged looks with one another. One of them giggled.

  “Um, we’re good,” said Jody, gesturing to the ice-cream dishes on the table. I squirmed uncomfortably in my seat, feeling my face get hot.

  “Actually, I’m really full from dinner,” I said. “I think I’ll skip it this time.”

  Mason shrugged, like he didn’t care whether I had ice cream, and headed off to the counter to order.

  “So, Sara Collins,” said Jody in a singsong tone. She leaned toward me across the table, her large eyes wide and probing. “Big date tonight?”

  My face was most definitely red now. “What? Oh. Oh, not really,” I stammered. “We’re just, like, you know, hanging out. We had some pizza.”

  “Who asked who?” Jody asked sharply, her eyes narrowing.

  “I don’t remember. We just made plans,” I said lamely, looking away. As soon as I said the words, I felt angry at myself for not telling her the truth—that Mason had asked me out and it was a date. At least it had been in my mind. But unlike Jody, I wasn’t born with a ton of confidence. I kind of hate to admit it, but she intimidated me. I knew she liked him, and I knew she wouldn’t want to hear that Mason liked me.

  That is, if Mason even did like me. I wasn’t too sure anymore.

  Luckily, Mason returned just then. He was carrying a gigantic bowl of ice cream with three different scoops: vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry. He sat down and squirted a crown of whipped cream around the top of the dish, expertly moving in smaller and smaller circles until his ice cream was crowned with a huge mound of fluffy white cream. One of the girls at the end of the table shoved the rotating tray of toppings toward him, and we all watched in semi-horrified fascination as he spooned about seven different toppings onto his tower of whipped cream.

  “So. Big news for you, Mace,” Jody said, drumming her hands on the table.

  “What news?” came Mason’s muffled response as he downed a huge bite of topping-laden whipped cream.

  “My dad is shooting the commercial on Tuesday.”

  “What commercial?” asked the girl with red hair sitting next to me. I realized neither Mason nor Jody had introduced me to her, or to the girl to her right, who was busy texting.

  “Didn’t I tell you?” asked Jody. “My dad usually only directs movies or TV, but he’s doing a twenty-second commercial spot that’s going to air on the Rocker Channel. He has this amazing song he’s going to use for the overdub, and guess who’s going to be lip-synching it? Moi.” She put a hand to her chest and lowered her eyes in mock modesty.

  “Shut UP!” yelled Caroline, so loud that the people at the next booth turned around. “That is too awesome!”

  “And guess who is going to play my ‘love interest,’ as my dad puts it? Mason said he would.”

  Mason rolled his eyes. “No, you said I would. I didn’t agree to do it.”

  “Mace, puh-leeze say you’ll do it?” pleaded Jody.

  “I’d never hear the end of it from the guys,” Mason replied, his cheeks turning a little pink at the thought of it.

  “I think it would be totally awesome,” said the girl with the red hair, practically swooning in her seat. “Wouldn’t it be so awesome, Candace?” she asked, nudging the girl to her right.

  The girl paused in her texting and nodded without looking up. “Totally awesome.”

  There was a brief silence, and I felt as though everyone around the table was looking at me, waiting for me to say something. Everyone but Mason, who had renewed his attack on his sundae tower.

  “Yeah, sounds like it would be a pretty cool thing to do,” I said lamely.

  “You don’t even have to sing or talk or say a thing,” Jody told Mason. “You just have to stand there and look cute. Shouldn’t be too hard for you.”

  The other three girls giggled.

  “Yeah, okay,” grumbled Mason. “So tell me the details. When I have to be there and stuff.”

  Jody and Mason leaned toward each other across the table and started discussing details. My eyes wandered around Scoops. At one point the texting girl looked up and I tried to smile at her, and I’m pretty sure she rolled her eyes at me. I’d never wished so much to have Lily with me. She would know how to handle this situation. Thinking of Lily, I remembered I hadn’t called her. She’d said she had some big, important thing to talk to me about, and I had totally forgotten about her.

  “Um, I have to make a call,” I mumbled, sliding out of the booth and heading toward the back of the restaurant, where it was a little quieter. Mason and Jody had barely looked up.

  “Lil,” I said, when she answered. “Sorry. I meant to call before.”

  “That’s okay,” said Lily. She was always so cheerful and upbeat. “I know you’ve been pretty busy today. I’m home. Babysitting. How’s your date with Mason?”

  I glanced across the restaurant at Mason, who was still engrossed in a conversation with Jody.

  “Fine, I guess,” I said. “We ran into Jody and her friends at Scoops and got stuck sitting with them.”

  “Ugh.”

  “Yeah, I think the date is pretty much over at this point, and ‘ugh’ about sums things up. Do you want me to come over?”

  “That’d be awesome, but I don’t want to wreck your evening.”

  “Not to worry.
It will be a good excuse to leave,” I said. “I was so excited about this date with him yesterday. But now, I don’t know. The magic seems to have gone away. Maybe I’m just distracted because of the diary.”

  “So how is the diary?” Lily asked eagerly.

  I hesitated. Part of me wanted to tell her everything, but part of me didn’t want to talk about it. I wasn’t sure I wanted to share what I had learned about my mom just yet. Not even with Lily.

  “Why don’t I come over soon and we’ll talk about everything?” I said. “Unless something changes drastically when I get back to the table, I think it would be totally fine for me to bow out early. It’s barely past seven. This might end up being the shortest date in history.”

  Lily said she’d speed up the process of getting her little sister, Cammie, to bed, so she’d be ready for me when I got there.

  I moved back to the booth, where Mason and Jody and the others were still engaged in a lively conversation. As I sat there, I kept thinking of my mom, and how I had found out that she could see spirits. Everything else suddenly just seemed not that important. It reminded me of one of my favorite photos that my mom had taken. It was a red cardinal on the branch of a tree in early spring. The brilliant red of the bird made everything around it look washed out and gray. That’s how I felt about my mom’s diary. It was like that red cardinal. The stuff with Mason felt like the gray landscape.

  “Um, hey,” I said, interrupting their conversation. Mason looked at me, guiltily, I thought, like I’d caught him doing something wrong. “I’m going to go,” I said simply. “I’ll see you guys in school on Monday?”

  The napkin dispenser at our table suddenly fell over.

  Mason scrambled to his feet. “I’ll walk you home,” he said.

  “No, no, it’s totally fine,” I said. “It’s not even dark out yet. I’m good.” I waved to everyone, hoping it didn’t look like I was leaving in a huff, and headed to the door.

  Mason followed me to the front entrance anyway.

  As soon as we stepped outside, I felt the chill. It had grown colder. I pulled my jacket tightly around myself and hugged my arms around my waist.