Prince:Are they all kulin, of the purest caste, of sacred descent?
Six:Indeed they are. Original kulins, originating from the holy Mouth.
Five:Bhagwan Tashranganidhi, the First Poet of the Card family, invented the first metre after sleeping through four of the day’s six segments of time. From scanning the rhythm of that metre, our thirty-seven-and-a-half systems were born.
Prince:We should learn at least one of them.
Five:Achchha, turn and look the other way, then.
Prince:Why?
Five:That’s the rule. Bhai Six, my friend, chant the thung mantra and blow into their ears.
Prince:Why?
Five:That’s the rule.
(Song of the Pack of Cards)
Yaw-aw-aw-awn!
There’s nothing to be done.
Days pass by, one by one.
On and on and on and on,
There’s nothing to be done.
Prince:I can’t bear it any more. I must turn my head.
Five:Ah, what have you done! You broke the spell! You defiled the mantra!
Prince:Defiled?
Five:What else? For a foreigner to cast his eye upon us in mid-mantra!
Prince:What is to be done now?
Six:We must burn the seed of a bat-eaten gaab—that thick-skinned fruit—and for three days, smear our eyes with the soot. Only then would our forefathers in heaven break their fast.
Prince:We have indeed caused grave trouble. We must move with caution in your land.
Six:It’s best if you don’t move at all. Then you can remain pure.
Prince:What happens if one is pure?
Five:If you remain pure, there’s purity, what else? Don’t you understand?
Prince:It is beyond our comprehension. I ask you, what were you all doing up there, crowding on that embankment?
Six:We were at war.
Prince:Do you call that a war?
Five:Sure! According to the holiest rules, following the traditional practices appropriate for the House of Cards.
(Song)
Images we are, extremely bizarre,
Very, very holy, and the purest by far.
Merchant:But still, without some fire, a war is colourless.
Six:Our fire is in our battle-colours.
In the wars we wage
There is no rage.
Look at the Jack—
He’s so laidback!
Merchant:But still, cannons and rifles look good on the battlefield.
Five:No arms we bear,
No battle gear,
No greed,
No ire,
No zest,
No fire.
Prince:But still, even without all that, there must still be a grouse. That’s what the two sides fight over.
Six:By the laws that we follow,
We believe we can spot
Who’s a friend, and who’s not,
Who’s sincere and who’s hollow.
Five:O stranger, surely your origins too can be traced to some source mentioned in the scriptures?
Merchant:Surely. At the very beginning of the Creation process, Grandsire Brahma had barely placed the sun upon his whetstone when a fire-spark entered his nostril. With a noise like a cannon-shot, he sneezed. It was from that earth-shaking sneeze that we emerged.
Six:Now we understand. No wonder you’re so restless!
Price:We can’t stay still. We are forever being flung about here and there.
Five:But that’s not a good thing.
Merchant:Who says it’s a good thing? We are still reeling from the impact of that primordial sneeze.
Six:I can foresee one good result: the force of that sneeze will fling you out of this island quite soon. You can’t survive here.
Merchant:It would be hard to survive here.
Five:What are your battles like?
Merchant:Four pairs of sneezes on either side: that’s the measure of our wars.
Six:Measured by sneezes? My word, that would cause a great deal of head-butting!
Merchant:Yes, head-on!
Six:Do you also have a mantra composed by your First Poet?
Merchant:Indeed, we do.
(Song)
Achchhoo!
You’d threaten me, would you?
I’ll grab your neck tight,
Box your jaw with all my might—
Now, wouldn’t that please you too?
Six:O brother Five, they are complete pariahs. What race do you belong to?
Merchant:We are No-Sayers, born of the holy Nose.
Five:But we have not heard of any high-born race by that name.
Merchant:The vapour of that divine yawn has wafted you all to a great height, way beyond the heavens. The force of that divine sneeze has cast us down to earth.
Six:It’s the uncontrolled behaviour of the Grandsire’s nose that has made you people so peculiar.
Prince:At last you have blurted out the truth: we are strange.
(Song)
Heralds of a new life are we,
We are restless, we are strange.
We break down fences,
We are tinged with the ashoka grove’s wild red hue,
Like a flash of lightning, we set storms free,
We make mistakes. Into the deep we dive;
To find the shore, we strive.
Amidst the storm, wherever it be,
To answer the call of life or death,
Ever ready are we.
Six and Five(exchanging glances): This won’t do. It just won’t do!
Prince:We do precisely what won’t do.
Six:But there are rules.
Prince:When the law of the fence is broken, the law of the open road reveals itself. Else, how can we progress?
Five:O-re bhai, how can they say that? Progress? He speaks of progress, without batting an eyelid!
Prince:What else is action for?
Six:Action? Why would you want to act? It’s the law that will act.
(Song)
You must go by the book.
You must not try to look,
Either ahead or back,
Just follow the beaten track.
Prince:In those forests, so dense,
Is there order and good sense?
How wildly the waterfalls spill
Down the slope of that southern hill!
Pack of Cards:Don’t look there, oh no!
Don’t go there, don’t go!
Just follow the beaten track!
Five:Enough! There come Saheb the King and Bibi the Queen. They will hold court here today. Here, take a pumpkin-stem each.
Prince:A pumpkin-stem! Ha ha ha ha! Why?
Five:Silence! Don’t laugh. It’s the law. Face north-east. You dare not turn to look south-west.
Prince:Why?
Six:It’s the law.
Enter King, Queen, Ace, Knave, etc., each with an individual stylized gait
Prince:O bhai, let me entertain the king with an eulogy. You can wave that pumpkin-stem.
(Song)
Hail to thee, scion of the House of Cards,
Dweller on the shores of sleep,
Wrecker of all amusement.
Pack of Cards:Ruined, ruined, ruined! You barbarian, you have untimely disrupted the court session.
King:Calm down. Who are they?
Six:Strangers from a foreign land.
King:Strangers from a foreign land? Then our laws won’t work. Shuffle your positions once, all of you, and that will dispel the adverse influence of their presence. Let us begin with the national anthem of the General Assembly of Cards.
Everyone:(Song)
Spades and Clubs and Hearts
Dance to the purest antique measure.
Spades and Clubs and Hearts.
Some rise, some fall,
Some don’t move at all,
Some remain supine,
In a state of leisure.
We never speak,
We never
smile,
Just follow the leader,
Ever-docile.
Our ancient gait
Is always straight.
Nothing sways us, makes us falter,
Nothing is ever allowed to alter.
King:O stranger!
Prince:Yes, Raja Saheb.
King:Who are you?
Prince:I am a messenger from overseas.
Knave:What gifts do you bear?
Prince:I bring what is scarcest of all in this land.
Knave:What may that be?
Prince:Disturbance.
Six:Did you hear that, Raja Saheb? Did you hear what he said? The man wants progress, and believe it or not, he laughs. In a couple of days, he’ll lighten the air in this place.
Knave:The air here is more still, more heavy, than on any other planet. Even the thunderbolts of Indra, king of the gods, cannot disturb it, let alone anyone else.
Everyone(together): Let alone anyone else.
Knave:If this light-hearted stranger lightens this air, what will happen?
King:That is a matter of grave concern.
Everyone:A matter of grave concern.
Knave:It’s a light breeze that heralds a storm. When there’s a storm, all laws are blown away. Then, even our purut thakur, priest Nine Goswami, will begin to speak of progress.
Five:God forbid, even laughter may become contagious here.
King:O Knave of Spades!
Knave:Yes, Raja Saheb!
King:You happen to be an editor.
Knave:I am the editor of Tashdwippradip, the Card Isle Beacon. I am the custodian of culture on our Card Isle Tashdwip.
King:Culture! What’s that? It doesn’t have a pleasing sound!
Knave:No, Maharaj. It’s neither pleasant, nor clear, but it’s what we call new, the newest gift we’ve received. That very culture is at risk today.
Everyone:Culture, culture, culture.
King:Your paper has an editorial column, surely?
Knave:Two large columns.
King:Those columns must create an uproar that will leave everyone petrified, turned to columns of stone. I shall not tolerate a lightening of our atmosphere.
Knave:A law of conformity is required.
King:What was that you said? A law of conformity?
Knave:That’s the latest jargon for the Tweak-on-the-Ear Law. This too is the latest gift.
King:Achchha, we’ll see to it later. Stranger, do you have any submission to make?
Prince:Yes, but not to you.
King:To whom?
Prince:To all these princesses.
King:Achchha, go ahead.
Prince:(Song)
O beauties, tame as statues in stone,
Let the restive spirit stir your soul.
Come to the flower-garden alone.
Let teardrops glisten in your eye,
And let the blossoming buds of pain
Be coloured with a scarlet dye.
Queen:How lawless! How unreasonable!
Five:Raja Saheb, cast him out, throw him into exile!
King:Exile! Rani Bibi, what is your opinion? Why do you remain silent? Do you hear me? Give me an answer. What do you say? Do you agree to exile?
Queen:No, not exile.
Ace Princesses(one at a time): No, not exile.
King:Rani Bibi, your behaviour seems rather strange.
Queen:I feel rather strange myself.
Knave:Ace Princesses, Beautiful Queens, remember the editorial column is in my hands.
Everyone:Culture, culture, the culture of Card Isle. Save that culture!
Knave:Impose the Law of Conformity.
King:In other words?
Knave:The Law of Tweak-the-Ear-Hard.
King:I understand. Rani Bibi, what is your opinion? Shall I impose the Law of Conformity, then?
Queen:We too deploy the Law of Conformity in the inner quarters of the andarmahal. We shall see who is condemned to exile, and by whom.
Ace Princesses(together): We shall invoke the Counter-Law of Disobedience.
Knave:What’s this? Alas for culture, alas, alas!
King:I declare the assembly dissolved. Come away immediately, all of you. This place is no longer safe.
Exit Pack of Cards
Merchant:Partner, this place is becoming intolerable now. The Maker seems to have played a prank to amuse himself, when he created this race! If we fall into their clutches, we too shall be ruined.
Prince:Don’t you notice the changes taking place unobtrusively? Don’t you feel the stirring of new life within these puppets? I am certainly not going to leave without seeing this through to the end.
Merchant:But this is a cage, a living death! Their hearts are pickled in the brine of rules.
Prince:Just open your eyes and look in that direction.
Merchant:Indeed, my friend, the mantra from overseas seems to be working on them. The Nine of Spades is reclining beneath the tree, legs outstretched, gazing at the sky. The laws of this land have been blown away, I see.
Prince:He is listening to the footsteps of the Queen of Clubs, echoing in the sky. He may not fancy our company now. Come, let’s move aside.
Exit
Scene 3
Iskabani, a female Spade, putting on make-up.
Enter Tekkani, a female Ace
Tekkani:(Song)
Tell me, my dearest, tell me his name
Whisper it in my ear, the name
That echoes in your veena-string.
In the forest grove, that name will mingle
With the breeze in spring,
With the song of the lonely bird,
Steeped in the scent of bakul blossoms.
Or on the lips of your female friends,
That name will be uttered in jest.
When you are alone, on a full moon night,
When your heart frets without cause,
I shall sing that name to you.
Iskabani:My dear friend, what has happened to our Land of Cards? What winds of frenzy have those strangers brought with them? My heart wavers, constantly sways this way and that.
Tekkani:Yes, my dear friend Iskabani. Who would have known, even two days ago, that the cards would lose their caste and adopt human ways? Chhi, what a shame!
Iskabani:Tell me dear friend, aren’t human ways against the rules? It’s that Haratani of yours who is at the root of all this. Haven’t you noticed? Nowadays her gait is unsteady, her movements exactly like the humans’. She even forgets protocol, where to stand and beside whom, on some occasions. Tongues are wagging here, in our locality. She will ruin the reputation of the Land of Cards.
Enter Chiretani, a female Club
Chiretani:So, madam Tekkathakrun, you are spreading calumny about us, I’m told. You’ve been accusing us of having lost our purity of conduct, because we sit when we should stand, stand when we should sit.
Tekkani:Well, I have told the truth: what’s wrong with that? Those red patches on your cheeks, my scarlet one—where did they acquire that shade? And as for the arch of your eyebrow—from what overseas moonless night have you borrowed that kohl? Never through the ages has this been prescribed in the scriptures of Card Isle! Do you imagine that it would escape anyone’s notice?
Chiretani:What a shame! I’m mortified! And as for all your whispering, day and night, under the bakul tree with that female companion of yours—is that prescribed in the scriptures of Card Isle? Meanwhile, the poor Knave there is pining away without his partner.
Iskabani:Aha, instructress Guruthakrun, there’s no need to preach. That red ribbon in your hair is enough for all the rules and customs of Card Isle to hang themselves with. For a Card Lady to act so brazen!
Chiretani:So what? I don’t fear anyone; it’s against my nature to be secretive like you people. Dahalani, that Ten of yours, tried the other day to mock me for becoming a Manabi, a female human. I told her clearly that if only I could become a Manabi instead of leading a moribund life as a female Card or Tashin
i, I would be saved!
Iskabani:O don’t be so arrogant, I tell you. Do you know there’s talk of declaring you an outcaste?
Chiretani:It’s merely the Card caste after all. I’ve renounced it of my own accord. What can threaten me now?
Iskabani:What a disaster! I never heard such audacious words in my life! She’s announcing to the world that she will become a Manabi! Come on, bhai Tekkarani, someone might see us talking to her. She will be our ruination too!
Exit
The Land of Cards: Stories, Poems, and Plays for Children Page 7