by Dark,A. A.
White Out
Best Selling Author
Alaska Angelini
Writing as
A. A. Dark
White Out
Best Selling Author
Alaska Angelini
Writing as
A. A Dark
Copyright © 2016 by A. A. Dark
ISBN:
All Rights Reserved
All characters and events in this book are fictitious. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is strictly coincidental. The scanning, uploading and distribution of this book via the Internet or any other means without the permission of the publisher is illegal, and is punishable by law. Please purchase only authorized electronic editions, and do not participate in or encourage the electronic piracy of copyrighted materials. Your support of the author’s rights is appreciated.
Prologue
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I once thought that losing love was the most heart-wrenching thing a person could experience. The longing, the ache of what might have been …the unanswered questions. What made life worth living if not love? What did we fight for if not for the person who made us complete?
The answers were easy: hatred, revenge … survival. When love abandoned you, negative emotions easily slipped through the cracks of one’s broken soul to make us whole again. They provided reasons to move forward and continue to breathe. Death wasn’t an option. Not when you craved to be the one who caused it.
I had known weeks ago where my life was headed. When Bram died and I was forced to marry my enemy, fate didn’t have to sugarcoat the idea of possible happiness. West had made it clear from the beginning where we stood. Multiple rapes, making me skin my only friend. His sadistic mind thought he was making me stronger. And he did. Little did he know, by almost succeeding in the death of my mind, the mad woman reborn wasn’t the slave he had meant to mold as his wife. She was a vicious, conniving killer. One, who tasted vengeance, only to learn that purity—love—wasn’t buried deep beneath the earth in a silk-lined coffin. He was alive and he had betrayed her. Left her to be tortured and battered in the clutches of a psychotic bastard.
And the evil circle of hate continued.
The moment I read Bram’s words in his black book of poems, excitement soared. Love returned through the fog of my revenge and where he once said he wasn’t my savior, I saw him as exactly that. But it was only for a moment. One, that didn’t have him sweeping through the doors to rescue me from the guards who continued to get closer.
Trust for anyone quickly disappeared. Wounded and at the devil’s door didn’t excuse Bram for not coming for me. I’d seen the guards around his coffin. I could have been retrieved and brought to safety at any time. He failed me, and with his grave mistake, the insanity I harbored festered within me even more.
I knew where my actions of rape and torture to my husband were going to place me. Even now, West’s muffled screams were sentencing me. For the first time, I didn’t care.
I was the forgotten. The discarded. The pawn in a game bigger than myself.
Chapter 1
West
Screams. Laughter. Mine. Hers.
The nightmare I was in surely wasn’t real. It couldn’t be. My blood wasn’t draining from me in places I didn’t want to imagine and the crazy woman slicing the knife at the guards was not my wife. Everleigh wouldn’t have done this. She wouldn’t have tortured me or tried to skin my face because I’d raped her again. She loved me. But hadn’t she said that after she had stabbed the scissors into my ass as payback for what I had done?
“Mmm-mmmph.”
Again, I tried to call out to my guards to get her away from me. Again, she managed to push them back.
And Bram … it wasn’t true. He hadn’t survived. There was no way I’d be alive if he did. It had been weeks since his death. Since I’d had him stabbed in the chest three times. It wasn’t true. Maybe he had originally lived, but I saw him get put in the ground. He had been dead.
“Mmmmm!”
“Do you love your Main Master so much? Get back! I’ll kill him. He deserves to die!” Everleigh dropped to a crouch, fisting my hair as she jerked my head back. Tears I wasn’t even aware I could cry spilled free while I blinked through the haze of my mind. I was lightheaded from the blood loss. Worse, I was afraid. I wasn’t ready to die. Not at the hands of my own creation. Fuck, I loved the crazy cunt. Even now as she threatened to end my life, I couldn’t stop the pain piercing my heart. She’d hurt me. The bitch actually fucking lost it and did something I never saw coming.
Was it a lessoned learned? No, I didn’t think so. Even if I did forgive her and she magically became normal again, I’d still rape her. Still beat the ever-living shit out of her when I couldn’t control the urge anymore. But where would that get me, now? I was afraid to find out. And I didn’t do fear. I wanted her away from me. To feel safe so I could breathe again.
Fingers dug at the material tied around my face and she pulled the gag free of my mouth. Terror reigned as I fought the urge to be sick. She leaned forward and for seconds she stared at me. I could see her mind working, but of what, I wasn’t sure.
“What do you suppose Bram thinks of this disaster between us?”
“Bram’s dead,” I forced out. “We saw him. He’s dead.”
Her head shook and Everleigh peered around the top of the room. “He’s not. I told you, I see him. I see him everywhere. He’s here. He’s watching us. Do you think he’s laughing right now? God, I almost hear him laughing. Can you hear it, husband?”
A sharp cry escaped her lips and the hand holding the knife tightened around the hilt as she pressed her knuckles into her temple.
“Get her the fuck away from me!”
My yell brought the guards’ heads down. The dumb fucks were looking up, too. Believing her.
“Bram is dead! Get her to the fucking White Room and help me, goddammit!”
Pain pushed into my neck and my body tensed as the tip of the blade broke through my skin.
“He’s alive, husband. Alive! The day of the funeral, Lyle urged me to read the poem when I was alone. He wanted me to know. Your days are numbered, probably just as mine.”
A growl left me as I tried to ease back from the weapon. I was getting weak. “Why should he kill you? He loved you. The poem says as much.”
“That was before. I saw him,” she yelled. “He’s mad at me because of you. He knows. He knows everything.” Sobs left her body shaking, making mine vibrate from her movements. “How can you hate someone so much that a part of you actually loves them? Oh, husband, I want nothing more than to take your face with me to the White Room. Such a handsome face. Can I have it? Can I take you with me?”
“Get her! Fuck!”
Laughter broke through the cries and the mixture of the two were forever going to haunt me. I knew that. Even now, I could feel them burning themselves into my memory. Or maybe I was just on fire from all the pain.
Screams exploded and nails clawed into me as one of the guards managed to grab Everleigh’s ankle. Her hands released me for the smallest moment and she kicked out, reaching back to hold to me like an anchor as she tried to still slash at them. With one hard tug from my High Leader, she tore down my jacket, leaving me completely. The relief wasn’t enough as I watched two of them try to wrestle her down. Even disarmed, they could barely get a good grip on her.
“Hold on, Main Master. We’re going to get you some help.”
A groan left me and my weight seemed to sink even more into the floor.
“White Room … until I can decide what I want done with her. Death is too good … for what she’s done. I swear …” The room faded in and out, blanketing me in darkness, and I let it as I tried not to fi
ght the shock that was etching in. This wouldn’t kill me, but my wife would hope it did by the time I got finished with her.
“West! Husband!”
I blinked rapidly through the fog of my mind, watching as Everleigh came into focus. She was thrashing and twisting in the two guards’ arms as they headed for the door. Tugs against the rope made a rocking sensation to my arms. I was angry that I’d awoken still here and in excruciating pain.
“I’ll tell Bram to go easy on you. Will you tell him for me if you see him first? Husband! Will you tell him?”
Panic was making her words fast, but I couldn’t answer. I couldn’t hear her anymore. The sound of her voice left me wanting to cover my ears. To rip out my own heart so that it wouldn’t continue to beat for her. What she had done was soaking in. But what had I done?
“Please, tell him! Tell Bram I’m sorry!”
Even down the hall, she wouldn’t stop. She kept screaming. She was so concerned over a dead man’s mercy when she should have been worried about mine.
More boots pounded against the floor. Each thump sent pain shooting through my body. I could barely stay conscious as I was rolled over and my pants were pulled up. I knew I was being lifted. Carried. White flashed, merging with the horror of my wife’s future. White. White. Every blink, all I could see, white. And then a bright white. A light. It was there only a moment before I felt myself rolled over. Poked, prodded, happy nothingness.
****
“Main Master?”
“Hmm?”
Grogginess had me responding, but I was far from awake. Again the voice called out, and again, I threw my attitude toward it, trying to make the person go away.
“Main Master? Master Harper?” Can I take your face with me?
My eyes shot open and I gasped, trying to fight. Pressure gripped to my arm and the hold pushing my chest down wasn’t registering right away.
“Main Master, you’re okay. You’re at Medical. We’ve just gotten done with the scoping and stitches.”
Blurry dark hair left me shaking my head and it took a few moments to realize the face to my right wasn’t Everleigh’s. Nothing was making sense or registering right. My arms were moving now, but I wasn’t sure how. The one she’d stabbed was numb, as was half of my body.
“W-where?” I tried to clear my throat, feeling the lull of sleep begin to beckon me, again. There was another face to my left and I seemed to know to turn toward it for answers. Where … is she?”
“In processing for the White Room. It’s been a few hours.”
The deep voice had me nodding. My head rolled to the side and I felt myself sink back into the mattress as my High Leader’s presence put me at ease.
Heavily, my lids blinked. I wasn’t sure how long I had tried to process the question to ask Abbot. “How’s …? My hand shakily rose to my face and only then did I realized I couldn’t see out of one of my eyes. Fear had me clumsily pulling at the tape. I tried to roll, to move, but it was impossible with how weighed down I felt. Drugs. Yes, they had me pumped full of them.
“Please don’t,” the nurse rushed out.
“Get … the fuck away from me.” My hand tried to swing toward her, but I was delayed. I didn’t trust her so close. Trembling left my movements unsteady and the agony was almost unbearable as I tried to push my feet against the mattress to sit. “Mirror.”
“Master …”
Abbot’s brow creased, but he ultimately nodded at my look. Cool air brushed against my heated skin under the gauze and I could barely breathe as my wife’s words wildly wormed through my mind. “How does that feel?” she asked, lifting the skin of my eyebrow. “Can you feel the cool air seeping through? Does it hurt? Burn?”
“Fuck … Fuck.” The creaking of the bed was barely heard through my pants as I lifted the top into a semi-upright position. I kept swaying through the fog I was in. This was a nightmare. This wasn’t real.
Abbot stopped next to the bed, his features turning hard as he looked down. “I really think you should wait.”
“He might not even remember this in a few hours,” the nurse said, quietly. “He’s still heavily medicated.”
Abbot held up the mirror and I grabbed the handle, hesitating before I let it come up to reflect me. I peeled the bandage back and the person I saw staring back at me had my lips separating in shock. Dark bruising littered my swollen face from where Everleigh had kicked me. There was a massive lump, split in the middle on one side of my forehead from the paperweight. But none of that mattered.
“Oh my God.”
“Sir, it’s going to be ok—”
“Shut up!” I swallowed through the dryness. “It is not … going to be okay.”
Vomit pushed to my throat. Black stitches lined above my entire eyebrow, all the way around my eye, and down to just below my cheekbone. That skin—my flesh. It had been free of my face. Dangling, as she had the time of her life pulling it back so I could get a tease of what it felt to be faceless.
A gag had me pushing the mirror away. There was no stopping the heaving that came. I could still feel it. I could feel my skin lifted as the cool air swept over the bone and meat beneath.
“Here. Shh. It’s okay, Main Master.”
The nurse held something under my mouth as I threw up. But I didn’t see it, or barely even know it was there. All that was before me was the pleasure on Everleigh’s face. She had said I ruined her, but she was wrong. She decimated me. Even now the scissors might as well have still been buried in my ass. The clenching of my nearly numb muscles had the phantom feeling becoming all too real.
“You shouldn’t be up like this. You need to lie back and rest.”
Yes. Maybe the nurse did have a point. Medicated or not, the pain was unbearable. And that reminded me of her and what she had done.
The bed lowered at the nurse’s push and I let her put the bandage back over my eye.
“Red light … in the dead of night.”
“Sir?” Abbot hesitated. “That’s only allowed once a week. We had the red light the day before yesterday.”
My breath was ragged as I turned to glare at him. “Do it. Then I want it every few hours randomly after that. I don’t care what happens to her or any of the other slaves … but make sure she’s kept alive. She’s mine.”
Chapter 2
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Was I meant to feel fear? I felt nothing but emptiness as I stared at the arched metal in front of me. I had killed for Bram. I had been beaten for him. Hadn’t that shown him my loyalty? My love? Perhaps not. He was angry at me for the love I had grown for West. It didn’t matter how big or strong it was. It was clear where he stood. I meant nothing to him.
The thickly barred door that set in the middle emitted clicking sounds before the automatic lock slid back. I didn’t have to be through to see what lay ahead. The olive-skinned guard pulled me forward, shifting as he swung it open. His gray eyes only settled on me for a moment before disgust crept into his features.
“Let’s go, Mistress.”
The white hospital-type gown I wore went down to just below my knees and ice cold air bit into my nude body underneath. Although I was slightly trembling, it wasn’t because of the frigid temperature. Anger was returning, as were thoughts.
Was this my life now? I knew there was a chance for something like this to happen weeks ago, but I never saw it coming. I thought I had more control. More time. Dammit, I had been wrong. My plans were ruined. Hours went by while I processed my attack on West. I had tried to formulate a new route to take, but thinking was almost impossible. The white padded room I waited in was bigger than I suspected I was getting. If that was the case, it wasn’t good news. How was I going to get the upper hand? Even in that short amount of time, a clear course of action wouldn’t come. There was something about the color surrounding me that messed with my mind. It taunted me, but more, it made my demons taunt themselves.
I lifted my head higher, staring ahead as we walked through the entrance. Doors alig
ned the long white hall on both sides. Yelling and pounding against the barriers were almost deafening as we began our walk. Tighter, the guard gripped to me, keeping silent as screams grew in volume from further down.
“Kneel! Kneel!”
My head turned to see dark eyes peering through the glass window of the door to my left. The banging grew, as did the man’s voice as he slammed against it.
“Kneel! Kneel!”
My lips twisted while I waited to feel … something. Fear never came. Just more anger. We passed another door. Bloody fingers clawed at the small window and the growling that echoed inside sounded like some sort of animal. Snarls mixed with the deep reverberations and a tug against my arm drew my attention to the next cell. Silence met us and I kept looking at each one as we continued. Men, women, even fingers so small I knew they were adolescents displayed their presence through the only view they had. If they were lucky enough to be able to look out.
“This will be yours.”
Crack!
The slap had my face snapping to the side.
“Red light! Red light!”
The woman’s voice across the hall echoed in my head as I reached for my cheek. The hit had been unexpected when it shouldn’t have been. pushed back my hair, moving my stare up to meet the guard’s. I let the hate shine through my eyes for only a moment before I smiled. His jaw flexed and his hand reared back again.
Crack! Crack!
The last slap knocked me to the ground, but he immediately jerked me back to my feet.
“That’s for our Main Master. It’ll pale in comparison to what’s coming for you.”
Blood streamed from my mouth and I reached up letting my fingers slide against the wetness. Crimson enveloped the tips, hitting a chord inside of me as I stared at it. The fury soared and I struck the guard’s face with such force and speed that it was seconds before he could react.
“Red light! Red light!”
“Bitch!”