by Dark,A. A.
“My son. Isn’t he beautiful?” He lifted a picture to block out our connection and my head kept shaking at what I was faced with. Everleigh, my wife, holding a child with pale skin and dark hair. I couldn’t see the infant’s face with how she cradled it. I couldn’t even really see hers, but I knew it was her.
“T-that’s not real.”
Bram frowned, turning the picture around to look at it before facing it back to me. “That’s not a very nice thing to say, West. I was supportive of your family time. Can you not show a little respect for mine? That’s my wife and child you’re dismissing.”
“My wife. Not y-yours.”
“Actually, she is my wife. She’s your ex-wife, remember? I had your marriage annulled.”
I jerked against the restraints, trying to get closer to him. What was he talking about, annulled? It wasn’t possible. Somehow, I knew that. I wouldn’t have let someone so easily take away the only thing I wanted. I wasn’t that stupid.
My lids closed and I slowed my breathing. If I focused hard enough, I could return. All it took was wanting to. Really wanting to. It wasn’t easy. Giving into the hallucinations gave me comfort. I knew they weren’t real when they started. It was untangling myself from the web it wove around me that was the hard part.
“How much l-longer do you plan to keep me in here?
The cold was returning. Fuck, I was so goddamn cold. My body was constantly trembling. And my jaw. It ached from the nonstop chattering. Couldn’t they give me some sort of gown? A blanket? Something?
“You don’t want that yet. Once you leave this room, color and light will no longer exist. Once that happens, the torture won’t involve your mind. You’ll get my blade and anything else I can get my hands on. Do you really want to go there so soon? What’s better, old friend? White … or pitch black?
Rage built while my gaze swept over his face. “Everleigh won’t let that happen. She’s going to get me out of here. I’ll never see the black torture you so b-badly want. My wife loves me.”
Bram laughed, drawing in his hand as he pulled out his wallet. When he slid the picture inside and placed it back in his suit’s inside pocket, he shrugged.
“If that’s what you want to believe, go ahead. I’m telling you right now, though, Everleigh is never going to save you. She’s back with me, where she belongs. Master and slave. Husband and wife. She wakes up every morning in our warm, soft bed. Oh, sorry. In your warm, soft bed. And then I fuck her while she screams out how much she’s missed me. How much she loves me. And then we spend the rest of the day playing and ogling over our son. Our son,” Bram yelled. “But you, you’ll never have that. You’ll never have a real wife or child. You’ll never be loved. The only thing you’re going to be by the end of this is a rotting, mutilated corpse. I’m not even going to give your body the courtesy of turning to ashes in my incinerator.”
Should his words have hurt me? I felt nothing. Or maybe I felt everything so powerfully that my damaged body and brain couldn’t comprehend how to respond to such a hurtful blow.
“You w-would have done the same thing. You would have killed me to have her. To have this. Do what you m-must.”
I turned, heading deeper into the room. I suddenly had no need to fight back. My thoughts went to Everleigh. She was the only thing keeping me from shutting down completely. Her and my son. She needed me. I’d seen her worried expression when she had left me at that door. Anger may have ruled her up until that moment, but she didn’t leave that way.
“I never wanted Whitlock. Or, I didn’t before you had that knife stabbed into my chest. But now I do. It’s odd how things change us. I used to see this place as my curse. I still do, but in an entirely different way. I don’t mind the position of Main Master so much anymore. Why should I? I get the fortress; I get the girl … I get to play how I’ve always wanted. Maybe it was facing death so many times that changed my point of view. Maybe it’s because I really don’t feel anything at all anymore. Who’s to say? I’m not so sure I care either way.” He paused in my peripheral, continuing on.
I rolled my eyes, trying to push away the need to disappear again. The white was influencing my actions. The need to scream came from nowhere. I was back to wanting to spin and twist on the floor from the claustrophobia that said I’d never be free. My body twitched, but I somehow managed to sit instead of reacting like I wanted.
“Tell me, West. When you were beating and raping my wife, did you feel any remorse? Do you now?”
Did I? How was I supposed to answer that? I was barely able to comprehend the questions.
“I love my w-wife.”
“That’s not what I asked you. Did you feel remorse?”
“You didn’t want to do that. Not really. Tell him”
I glanced up at Everleigh, somehow already knowing she was here.
“No remorse.” My tone was cold as I went back to Bram. “N-not then. I loved hearing her s-scream. I loved making her bleed.”
Bram’s jaw tightened.
“And now? Would you feel bad if you raped her?”
My eyebrows drew in sadly, only for a laugh to explode from my mouth a moment later. “You think I would r-rape my wife, again? She’d kill me. I love her too much to have to k-kill her first. We will work through it. I’m going to make it right this time.”
Silence had me drifting away from reality and focusing on the woman who was smiling and walking toward me.
“I should go. Master Kunken and I have a meeting.”
I blinked through the buzz of his voice, jerking my head in his direction when the name registered.
“Master K-Kunken? He’s alive?”
“What’s left of him is.” At my confusion, Bram only smiled bigger. “His arms and legs are gone, old friend. Today he gets to eat what’s left of his last thigh. Nothing like making a cannibal eat himself to death. There’re moments between his vomiting that he actually seems to enjoy the way he tastes. Or maybe it’s the starvation that has him devouring himself. I’d ask him, but he ate part of his tongue last week and I don’t have the patience to try to understand him. I’m just lucky he can still use it to swallow. Seems the bastard can’t go two days without a meal.”
Chapter 25
Bram
“Well? How is he?”
Dr. Cortez glanced toward Master Kunken. She couldn’t hide the disapproving expression etching into her features as she turned back to look between me and Derek.
“He’s alive. I’ve made sure of that. For how much longer, I can’t say. We’ve already lost him once. With your orders, it’s only a matter of time before we lose him again. My guess is it won’t be long.”
“If he dies, again, don’t bring him back. I’m getting bored,” I mumbled. “I thought this would be fun.”
“Fun?” I crossed my arms over my chest ignoring the disbelief in her tone. Dr. Cortez didn’t push. Instead, she changed the subject. “How are you? You didn’t come in to see me yesterday like I asked you to.”
“I’m fine. Every day I feel better.”
“But not with the depression, I see.”
My eyes shot over to her. “Depression? Is that what you call it? I don’t have depression. I barely feel anything at all.”
“I told you it would take time.”
“I don’t have time. Soon West will leave the white and be brought into the black. I want to feel my revenge. I want to fucking swim around in the pleasure of making him pay. I can’t do it like this. Sure, there are moments of something, but it’s not enough.”
Her head lowered and her voice softened. “What about with the slave? What do you feel for her? Is there anything?”
My lids dropped and I let out a deep breath. “At times, yes. My love for her comes back in swift, rare moments. Other times … nothing. I’m forcing myself to feel for her. But it’s not like she’s making it easy. We’re not the same. She’s been through too much. Her trust for me is razor thin. One wrong move on my part and I may cut out any chance of a fu
ture with her. I know this and you’d think I’d care.”
“You don’t? Not even a little?”
“It’s complicated,” I whispered. And it was. When I thought of losing Everleigh, my heart would race and my stomach turned. Subconsciously, I knew I couldn’t be without her, but the emotion that should have accompanied my body’s reaction was like feeling through a fog.
“Let’s get this over with.”
I headed forward, watching as Master Kunken’s torso and the stubs of his arms and legs grew closer. The strap around his large belly and shoulder were meant to keep him down, but they were useless. He wasn’t going anywhere. His nude, pale skin was almost gray from blood loss and although I could have been pumping him with more bags to replenish what was lost during the last mutilation, I hadn’t wanted to. I wanted him to suffer on the brink of death. To experience what it felt like for your life to be slipping away.
“Hungry?” My voice was chipper. Fake. Yes, everything was pretend these days.
Heavy lids lifted, only to close.
“Come on, now. You’ve gone almost twelve hours without a meal. You have to be starving?”
At the silence, I nodded to Dr. Cortez. She headed to the IV, pushing medication in to accelerate his heart. Within seconds he blinked, coming to.
“Welcome back, and just in time. You wouldn’t want your dinner to get cold.”
“Nnn.”
“Come on, now. I’ve had this meal prepared special. Just how you like it. The meat is so tender, it fell right off the bone. I figured it would help with your new … condition. How is the tongue, by the way?”
What had to have been a sob left him, but his tone was off making it sound distorted and unpronounced.
“No use crying. You know what happens if you don’t obey.” I paused, reaching over to take off the lid covering the dish. The rich aroma thickened in the room and the Master instantly began to gag. Dr. Cortez’s nose crinkled and she turned to the side, putting her back to me.
“Ma … Mster … Plse …”
The words ran together, barely comprehensible as he fought to speak. The annoyance grew and I wanted nothing more than to take out my knife and bury the blade into his swollen gut.
“Open.”
Master Kunken’s head shook as he cried and his stare jerked around anxiously. More words slurred together. More pleas, but I wasn’t having it. The numbness was extra bad today. Every time I finally thought things were getting better between me and Everleigh, I got blindsided by a day worse than the others. Twice this had happened, and twice was after an amazing night with my slave. In our moments, I felt on top of the world. Full of hope. When I awoke … I was dead all over again.
I stabbed the fork into the tender, shredded meat and waited at the outside of his mouth. There would be no telling him again. If he didn’t obey, it was his own fault.
“Mmm-ster. Ppl-se.”
A yell exploded into a loud howl as I shoved the utensil into his mouth, feeling it slam into his teeth. With my finger I shoved the food inside, tightening my lips through his immediate choking. Without part of his tongue, it was almost impossible for him to eat. It took patience and time. Neither of which I had today.
“Chew that fucking food and swallow or so help me, I’ll get that cheek retractor and force it down your throat myself.”
Slivers of meat slid free from the excess saliva as he tried to push the food back to swallow. Even with the table slightly elevated, he still couldn’t get much down. A good minute went by while he heaved, chewed, and then choked.
“He’s done,” Dr. Cortez said, quietly. She was turned to us now, looking between him and the machine that was reading his pulse. “He’s dropping at a fast rate. Even with the medicine, it won’t be long. Should I prepare to bring him back?”
I glared harder as his meal leaked free of his lips. He didn’t have the strength to get it down, which should have made me happy. It didn’t. I grabbed one of the medical gloves, sliding it on as fast as I could.
“He’s not dying until he eats that fucking bite. Do you hear me!”
I grabbed the soggy meat, shoving it back in his mouth. Master Kunken’s body jerked and once I started, I couldn’t stop. I grabbed more and more off the plate, pushing and packing it in so thickly that it filled his cheeks. The amount left him trying to thrash within the restraints, but he could barely move without arms or legs. I grabbed more, using one hand to pry open his jaw and the other to wedge in another bulk until it was overflowing past his lips. His head rose a good inch, only to fall and rise again. He was trying to breathe and from the monitor, I knew his heart was giving out. I leaned down, moving in to just outside of his ear as I spoke loudly.
“In four years’ time when your death is all but forgotten by the outside world, I’m going to have your daughter taken. I’m going to take her, auction her, and introduce her to the father she never knew. She can watch the tapes of your life at Whitlock, including this moment right here. And you can bet your fucking life that she will pay for your sins, just like my cousin will have to pay for mine.”
The sounds were fading and the fight was leaving the Master. His head tried to jerk up again but landed back on the table going limp. A long beeping had me looking up to the machine, but not for long.
“Burn him.”
I spun around, heading for the entrance, only to jerk to an immediate stop at Everleigh and Jarrett only mere feet away.
“Bram? What is this?”
I was speechless as I looked into her fearful eyes. Why hadn’t anyone told me she’d come in? I had tried so hard to prove to her that I was going to try to change. I monitored my tone. I watched what I said. During our love making, I told her my biggest dreams, my prayers. I wanted to be better than the old Bram. I wanted to love her like she deserved. But, here I was, doing what I did best. I was caught in my lie. In the truth that I couldn’t hide. “Never mind that. What are you doing here?”
Her head gave a quick shake as she peered at Master Kunken and took a step back. “What is that … in his mouth? Is that?” Her hand shot up. “No … Are you going to have his daughter taken and brought here? I … can’t believe this. You didn’t tell me this is where you kept going. You didn’t tell me he was alive at all.” Another shake. Her lids kept blinking and she was swallowing compulsively. The way she was unmasked, I knew whatever distrust she harbored for me was fed a million times over by what she was witnessing.
“This is business. My business. It has nothing to do with you.”
“Nothing to do with me?”
The moment she repeated it, I knew how wrong it sounded. How cold and unfeeling it had come out. Everleigh, again, edged to the door. I couldn’t help but throw my anger in Jarrett’s direction as I stalked toward her. What was he thinking of bringing her here?
“Nothing to do with us,” I said, calmer. “Let’s go have dinner. You said you were making something special. Is it ready?”
I took her bicep, nearly dragging her to the entrance. We didn’t make it but a few steps before she tried to rip out of my grasp.
“Let go. I know where we’re going. I don’t need to be led. And don’t change the subject. You said it had nothing to do with us. So we have secrets now?”
My jaw tightened and I eased my grip, letting it drop as I threw Jarrett another glare. I was fuming at how his actions had ruined what we had gained. I felt like I had just started to really break through her walls.
“I wouldn’t call this a secret. This is what I do as Main Master and it’s private. Now, enough of this. Walk and tell me what you made for us.”
The slave was gone and the Mistress returned as she straightened her shoulders, pushing through the door. If there were any more questions within Everleigh, she’d buried them so far down that it wasn’t showing through the revulsion she cast toward me before she left me following behind.
“Pot roast is what’s for dinner, but I won’t be eating. I’ve suddenly lost my appetite after what I sa
w. You could have taken that man’s limbs and threw it in my baking dish and I wouldn’t have known the difference.”
I almost laughed, but managed to stop myself. “I’m going to eat the hell out of it and so are you. After everything you’ve seen, I’m surprised it upset you so much.
Everleigh slowed and I got even with her. “It wasn’t what I saw, Bram. It was that you hid it from me. You pretty much just said you thought I could handle it and yet you told me nothing. The last few days you’ve spoken so much of trust. This is a clear example of why you no longer have mine. You’ve been loving and kind. You almost had me fooled. Trying to change, my ass.”
“Watch it. I may love you, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to let you overstep your bounds. You have no reason to withhold anything from me. You can trust me. What I deal with is Whitlock politics. One wrong move or one slip on your behalf can mean my life. Sorry, but I’m not heading down that road again. I won’t now and I sure as hell wouldn’t have before I was stabbed. Even that Bram wouldn’t have told you about Master Kunken if it had come to that, then.”
“My mistake. I guess I’m just used to West being so open with me about everything. I forget who I am to you.” She paused. “Speaking of my husband, have you seen him today?”
My steps faltered and it took everything I had not to slam her against the wall and slap her. To call him that. To completely disregard anything we’d shared and inquire over him, it hit emotions I couldn’t quite figure out. It went beyond rage and jealousy. I was wounded. Hurt. “I have. Why?”
“Am I not allowed to ask on him, either?”
The rage grew as my stare ate her alive.
“Go ahead. Ask away.”
“You say that, but your voice says something completely different. Here I am, speaking to you as I would him, and yet I’m still every bit the slave to you. Even after what you said to me about being a Mistress, you still view me as twenty-four-six-ninety. What a change this must be for you.”
“You have no fucking idea.”