by Susan Hatler
My stomach knotted. Brian and I had both lost our grandma. We were the only ones in the world who knew what the other was going through. We’d both lost the woman who’d basically raised us. Maybe the pain of our shared loss would be enough to make us close again. Since I’d received the call last night, that was all I wanted. We only had each other now.
As if Brian sensed me, he suddenly lifted his head and met my gaze. His eyes immediately lit up, then his emotion faded as quickly as it had come. He cleared his throat. “Hey, sis.” He pushed papers around on the counter, as if trying to appear busy. Then his brows came together. “Or should I say, Wendy Watts, star Realtor to the rich, who is here to sell my home out from under me?”
I flinched at his harsh tone. I’d been about to give him a hug, but so much for thinking we’d comfort and console each other. “Brian, I’m here to see you.”
“No.” He shook his head dismissively, then patted the top of the small stack of papers. “You’re only here because Grandma’s will forced you to come. This is our ancestral estate, but you probably don’t even care that we have to sell the inn. Do you?”
“Selling the inn was Grandma’s choice. Not mine,” I snapped, feeling immediately defensive. I knew he was hurting, but still. It wasn’t fair to blame me when I’d done nothing wrong. Talk about misplaced anger. I leaned back against the counter, and blew out a breath. “Grandma’s lawyer told me she didn’t want a service. Is that what you heard, too?”
“Yeah.” His voice thickened and he ducked his head, avoiding my gaze. He kicked his foot lightly against the counter in a boyish way. “Didn’t surprise me.”
“Like Grandma told us, right? Stop fussing and get on with it.” I thought my gruff tone was a pretty good impression of her, but my chest tightened and the back of my eyes burned. I swallowed, blinking rapidly. “Oh, Brian. What are we going to do without her?”
“I don’t know.” He flicked his gaze at me, then turned away and disappeared into the back room.
Had I upset him? I hadn’t meant to. Sigh. Guess it was going to be harder than I thought to get us close again. As I set my purse behind the front desk, I heard a door shut in the other room. A moment later Brian returned with two cold bottles of beer and handed one to me. Was he raising a white flag with those drinks?
He lifted his bottle toward mine. “To Grandma.”
“I’m sure she’d love us drinking beer to her name.” The sarcasm leaked from my voice and I clinked the neck of my bottle to his then took a long, refreshing sip of the hoppy liquid.
Brian leaned back against the counter next to me, his shoulder brushing against mine as he gave me a side-glance. “Why did you never come back here? Really?”
My stomach clenched. This time, instead of remembering my parents abandoning us, my thoughts zeroed in on what cinched my expedient departure after graduation: my high school boyfriend, Ian McBride. He’d been the one person I’d opened up to, and for two years I’d felt safe with him. I never imagined he would hurt me. He graduated a year earlier than me and went off to college. They say distance makes the heart grow fonder. For Ian, distance made him fall for someone else and dump me. I’d been devastated, to say the least.
I’d let him get too close. I never made that mistake with a man again.
Not like I’d tell my brother that though, so I nudged his elbow. “I have a thriving career in the city and it’s hard to get away. My life is in Sacramento. There’s even a townhome I want to buy that’s going on the market soon.”
His features tightened. “I see. You’ve always had your priorities.”
Ouch. Direct hit. “Look, you don’t have to stay in Blue Moon Bay once the inn sells. Grandma felt like you needed to follow your own path, and maybe she was right. We’ll split the proceeds from the sale and you’ll have the money to do whatever you want with your life.” I paused a moment. “Maybe you can come to the city with me.”
He took a swig of beer. “No. I’m not a city guy. Blue Moon Bay is my home.”
The fact that he’d rejected me without a second’s pause hurt. I sipped my beer, and sighed. I’d had enough pain for one day. “I’ll go to the car and get my bags. Tomorrow we can evaluate what needs to be done with the inn so we can put it on the market.”
His eyes became dark and unreadable. “What needs to be done?”
“Well, sure . . .” I cringed under the weight of his gaze. I drained the rest of my drink and set it on the counter with a clank. With my brother’s bad attitude, I was definitely going to need another beer. Probably several. “We’ll need to do a walk-through, determine the condition of the inn, and if it needs any repairs. Plus, we should see if there are any short-term projects we can do to increase the sales price.”
“Nothing around here needs changing.” He grabbed my empty bottle, left the room again, and came back with fresh beers. “But if you want to knock your socks off going from room to room, then there’s no time like the present.”
I was bone-tired from the last twenty-four hours, but I could see the challenge in my brother’s eyes. He was not going to let this go. Stubborn, just like Grandma. And like me, for that matter. So I would rise to his challenge. “Fine. Let’s do it.”
I moved from room to room, checking things out, with my brother trailing behind me. The smells and sounds made me feel like I was eight again. I fought to keep the memories of my parents at bay, but it turned out replacing them with memories of Grandma made me sad in an entirely different way—like a punch in the gut that hit me hard.
We strolled through the kitchen, lounge area, and exercise room. “The hardwood floors need to be stripped and redone. The windows need to be cleaned. Fresh paint for the walls,” I said, making a mental checklist. “We’re also going to have to do something about the closed restaurant on the property. I know Grandma had planned to reopen it at some point, but right now it’s an empty building. So, we’ll have to stage it or something.”
“Apparently you’re the boss, since Grandma left you controlling interest over the sale,” he said, with a sharp edge to his tone.
“Not my choice,” I reminded him. Tears stung my eyes but I blinked them back. Get a grip, girl. I would not break down now. I cleared my throat and told myself to handle this process as I would with any other cranky client—simply evaluating real estate for a sale. Nothing emotional about that. “Why don’t we take a look at the library next?”
He made a noncommittal noise, but at least he’d stopped giving me the evil eye. Then he strode in ahead of me and gestured around the library. “As you can see, we turned this room into a business center as well.”
I gazed around the large room, taking everything in. The library was a shared area with three long sofas and a love seat gathered around a big fireplace. There was a large flat screen TV above the fireplace—a new addition—and a few small desks on the far wall, each with a computer on them. A drop leaf table sat against one wall with a stack of puzzles and board games on it. The opposite wall held massive bookshelves with volumes of books, old and new alike. The detailed carvings on the wood were exquisite.
“The bookshelves are amazing.” I stared at them, taking in the unique detailed beauty. “They’re obviously custom. Who did Grandma hire to make those?”
“I did them.” His tone was casual, humbly dismissing the time and care he must’ve put into the ornate design, as if his work was no big deal.
“When did you get interested in woodworking?” I turned to him, but he just shrugged in answer. Hmm. I wondered if Grandma had declined to leave Brian the inn because she’d seen his woodworking talent. Maybe this was what she felt he was supposed to be pursuing.
“Had to talk Grandma into the big screen,” he said, interrupting my thoughts. He raised his beer toward the giant flat-screen TV. “Told her it was time to come into the twenty-first century. We watched some really entertaining shows on that screen. Speaking of . . . are you still dating that guy, Chase?”
“You watched the show?
” I placed a hand over my heart, touched that he even knew the name of the bachelor I’d dated on Sacramento’s reality TV special, Romance Revealed. I’d purchased a starring role on the reality special through a charity auction, but another couple won the grand prize. I had to admit they seemed to be well suited. More than Chase and I had been.
He chuckled. “We watched every single episode. Grandma and I were rooting for you to win the grand prize money even though we thought you were faking interest in that poor shmuck.”
“I wasn’t faking interest in Chase.” I rolled my eyes and took a sip of beer, which was finally starting to hit me a little. Chase was a decent guy and we’d dated a few more times after the show ended a few weeks ago. But there had been no sparks between us. Not even half a spark. “He was nice, but it didn’t work out.”
“That’s too bad,” he said, actually sounding like he meant it.
“Thanks.” I trudged up the grand staircase, wondering if my brother might be softening a little toward me. Or maybe I was just starting to feel a little woozy from the alcohol. “Are you dating anyone special?”
He shook his head. “Nah. Megan and I still hang out sometimes, though.”
I shot him a look, nerves creeping up my spine. Did he mean my Megan? As in, my old friend from high school? “How, uh, is she?”
He gave me a lopsided grin. “I see what you’re thinking. There’s nothing going on between us. She’s dating some tool from the yacht club. Just make sure to see her while you’re in town or I’m the one who will have to hear about it later.” He laughed, a soft, musical sound that made this feel almost like old times.
“We’ll see,” I said, studying him. His attitude seemed so hot and cold that I wasn’t sure how to take him. It would be nice to see Megan again, but in addition to putting the inn on the market, I had to stay on top of my business, which meant keeping in constant communication with my assistant who was holding down the fort for me. I glanced up at the ceiling above the staircase and jerked to a halt. “Is that water damage?”
“Minor leak.” His tone was casual but his face tightened up, which told me the leak concerned him more than he was going to say. “I’ve got a tarp over the problem until there’s more money in the budget for roof repairs.”
“We need to fix that.” I pressed a hand to my forehead, hoping that really was a minor problem. Water damage was nothing to mess around with. Throughout the upstairs hallway, I opened doors to peek into the six guest rooms on this wing’s floor. Each room had its own tiny bathroom and a view of the beach. “So far, we need the roof repaired, floors refinished, painting, and a deep cleaning. We’re going to have quite a busy month.”
His forehead creased as he turned for the stairs. “Yeah, then you’ll be outta here. Back to your fancy life in the city.” He blew out a breath. “Just like after you graduated, I’m sure you’ll fly out of here like we all have the plague.”
“That’s what people do after graduating, Brian. They grow up and leave and make their own way.” At the bottom of the stairs, I hurried down the winding hall toward the front counter where I’d left my purse. “It’s called becoming independent.”
“Yeah, because you can’t count on anyone else to take care of you,” he quipped, throwing his words from long ago in my face like they were venom.
I turned and faced him. “Aren’t you the one who taught me that?”
He didn’t answer, but his eyes darkened as he stopped in front of the welcome desk. Man, oh, man. What was up with Brian? He and I weren’t super close, but he was a nice guy and never lashed out like this. I glanced up at him, but he turned away from me and took a long drink of his beer, finishing it off.
The back of my eyes stung as I waited, unsure if I should get my bags from my car, or wait for him to say something else to hurt me. Then I realized what I should’ve guessed sooner. He was grieving over our grandma. Our parents hadn’t visited much after they moved on, and I’d only heard about them coming to the inn once since I moved to Sacramento. Now that Grandma was gone, all he had was me, and I’d be leaving soon.
Swallowing my pride, I took a small step toward him. “I’m sorry, Brian.”
He lifted his head, a confused look on his face. “For what?”
“About Grandma,” I said, softly. I watched him turn away from me, press his hands against the counter then drop his chin to his chest. I longed to reach forward and put my arms around him, but I feared he’d brush me off. My feet stayed planted where they were and that tight spot in my chest turned in on itself. “I’m truly sorry.”
A minute passed in silence. “Me, too,” he finally said. Then he lifted his head, turned, and faced me. “Now we’re selling my home,” he said, his voice raw with emotion.
He sounded so vulnerable that it ripped at my heart. Couldn’t he see how much we needed each other?
“Selling the inn was Grandma’s doing, not mine. I’d give it to you if I could, but I can’t.” My eyes watered and I stepped toward him. “But what’s most important is family. You and me. We only have each other now. I . . . I need you.”
Suddenly, time froze, and I felt transported back to that awful day at the diner when I’d turned to my brother for comfort. I held my breath, aching for him to put his arms around me like I’d wanted so much when I was little.
He straightened, any emotion wiping from his expression. “You don’t need me, Wendy. Or you wouldn’t require relationships on your terms only. Holidays in Sacramento. Birthday celebrations in Napa or San Francisco. What about our home in Blue Moon Bay? I’ll bet Grandma only decided to sell the inn because you never came around. That showed you didn’t care about the inn at all.”
My stomach roiled and I felt like I was going to hurl. “I-I’m here now.”
“Yeah, to sell my home out from under me and then be gone in thirty days.” His green eyes flashed with emotion, then glazed slightly. “Thanks a lot, sis. Thanks for nothing.”
My vision blurred. “Brian—”
“I’m not trying to be a jerk, but I’m wiped and I need this day to end.” He ran his hands over his face then moved toward the front doors. “We can talk more some other time. Right now, I need to be by myself. I’ll get your bags from the car and put them in your old room.”
“Okay . . .” My voice trailed off but I was staring at his backside anyway as he hurried out the double front doors. I closed my eyes and could almost see my grandma in front of me. She would have made things right between Brian and me. But I opened my eyes and saw only the swinging of the door as Brian exited the building. The back of my throat went raw, my eyes burned. Suddenly I gasped, fighting to hold in the ache in my chest that kept expanding despite my efforts. “Air. I need fresh air.”
I raced through the lounge and kicked off my heels outside the French doors. Then I ran across the veranda and over the soft grass that stretched out to the bluff. It was dark now. The last of the sun had set but I kept running, trying to get away from all of Brian’s angry words. Had he meant what he said? That I only wanted family on my terms? Didn’t he understand why I stayed away? No, of course he didn’t. I’d never told him everything that had happened to me here in Blue Moon Bay.
The pebbled steps were lighted on either side but I flew down them so fast I tripped over my own feet and pitched forward. I rocketed face-first toward the ground and grasped the railing just in time to keep me from falling against one of the Adirondack chairs at the base of the stairway. Close call.
Balanced once more, I took off again, flying toward the edge of the water, the ocean calling for me to throw myself in. I already felt like I was drowning. Why not make it official? But when my bare foot hit the water, the bone-chilling temperature pierced every pore. Yowzers! Freaking cold Pacific Ocean. Brrr.
I jumped back too quickly though, and fell right on my behind. I watched the water pull back away from my now-turning-numb feet, then the wave rolled in, rushing over my legs and soaking me to the waist.
All of the air le
ft my chest as the icy water braced my legs. That’s when I lost it.
My chest convulsed in a last attempt to hold everything in then the first sob escaped, followed by another and another. Tears poured down my face and I dropped my chin to my chest. Now that I’d started, I couldn’t stop. I wanted my grandma. The pain of losing her flooded me, and I wailed in a loud way that resembled the sea lions that lived in this coastal town.
Finally, somehow, my outbursts faded to whimpers. My throat had gone raw.
I felt drained, empty, like there was nothing else in me of substance. I might’ve curled into a ball if I hadn’t started shivering so badly. On shaky legs, I stood up and started to brush the wet sand off my rear. It was stuck there, embedded into my slacks.
Slowly, the intense anguish I felt over losing my grandma loosened its hold on me as I brushed sand off my butt. Great, I looked like a freaking mess. At least I was no longer bawling my eyes out, though. But I needed to get cleaned up before Brian saw me. Before anybody saw me, really. I hadn’t come this unglued since the day I left Blue Moon Bay. Ugh.
Feeling like I’d been run over by a cruise ship, I headed for the steps at the bottom of the bluffs, glancing over at the Adirondack chairs. My heart stopped. A man sat in one of the wooden chairs. Any chance that he hadn’t seen me was shot when he stood up.
The yellow glare of the sodium vapor bulbs positioned near the end of the inn’s property outlined the man’s entire body, which looked like a living, breathing Greek statue. He was tall, six-foot two if I had to guess. He had a broad chest, muscular arms, and his dark hair gleamed under the light of the moon. He didn’t look dangerous—probably a guest, staying at the inn since he’d been sitting on one of our chairs.
He was hot—smoking hot—and he started walking toward me. I considered tossing myself into the ocean just to hide myself. But it was too late. The damage had been done. I lifted my chin, trying to pull together the tattered remnants of my dignity. For nine years I’ve been poised and put together and the one time I acted like a raging lunatic, the hottest man on earth decided to show up. Yeah, that cinched my day.