by Blake North
When I walked into the cabin, Madison was in the living room, pacing while she listened to someone on the phone.
“No,” she said in a voice so full of stress that I knew something was terribly wrong. “Your company screwed up. Not me.”
She was silent for several more minutes. “This isn't over. I’m going to make sure everyone knows the scam you’re running. I’m going to report this to every agency I can. I will yelp and tweet and tell the world how evil you are!”
She ended the call and stood there, shaking her head.
“What was that about?” I asked.
Her head popped up, and she looked at me. “Fifteen thousand dollars. Fifteen fucking thousand! Are you kidding me?” she yelled.
“What is fifteen thousand dollars?” I asked, completely confused about what was happening.
“The rental company says I didn't have the insurance, and I’m on the hook for fifteen grand.”
“Oh.”
She threw her hands in the air. “Oh! Yeah, oh! I'm convinced they did it on purpose. They upgraded me to that fancy fucking car and didn't transfer the insurance that I signed up for on the first car. So now, they want fifteen grand. It's a scam.”
“Will your car insurance cover any part of it?”
She shrugged, her anger lessening. “I don't know. I doubt it. These people screwed me over.”
“I'm sorry. Can you cover the damages?”
She scoffed. “I have half in savings. I'll have to take out a loan to cover the rest.”
“I'll cover it,” I blurted out.
“What? No.”
“Yes, I will. It was my fault you tried to leave that day. I'll cover the other half.”
She eyed me, suspicion in her eyes. “How?”
“How what?”
“How can you afford to fork over that kind of money?”
I shrugged. “I have money, Madison. I have quite a bit of money. I don't have to work another day in my life if I don't want to. If I have a family, I may need a modest income, but paying seventy-five hundred isn't going to break me. Trust me.”
“How? Did you rob a bank? Is this money under the mattress because you can't put it in a bank because the numbers are linked to some robbery?” she asked the questions in a hysterical voice.
I fought back a laugh. “Uh, no. It's in a bank. I didn't rob anyone or anything. It's my inheritance.”
I could see she didn't believe me.
“I don't want your money.”
“It's not an option. You can take it, or I will call the company back right now and pay the whole damn bill,” I told her.
Her eyes widened. “No! You wouldn't dare.”
I raised an eyebrow.
“Chase, no. I am not taking any money from you. This is my life and my problem. Not yours.”
“It is my problem. I was as much a part of that accident as you. I pay my debts, Madison,” I said in a solemn voice.
“I'll pay you back,” she conceded. “With interest. I don't want to be indebted to you. I can't owe you money.”
“I want to do this.”
“I said fine, but I will pay you back,” she insisted.
I shrugged, not agreeing but letting her think she’d won.
She could make payments to me. That was fine, but I would put the money in another account for her. I had some ideas about how she could use that money, and if she wouldn't, I would for her. I also had to admit that her owing me money meant she would be in my life for a while. Even if it was only a check in the mail, I would have some kind of attachment to her.
“Just so you know, you loaning me money does not mean I’m going to stay here. This doesn't trap me. If you think this loan is some kind of bond between us, I won't take it. I don't want you to get the wrong idea,” she said, one hand going to her hip.
“You can stay here, Madison. You know I want you to. I know you want to. Stay. We'll both be much happier.”
She shook her head. “I need you to understand I can't stay. I want to. I want to be with you, but I can't. Chase, I'm scared of falling in love with you and having your secrets drive us apart. I can't give you my heart when I don't trust you.”
“Why?” I said, my voice far louder than I had intended. “Why can't you stay and let's work through this. Why is there this pressing deadline? I feel so much pressure to fill you in on the past thirty years of my life in fourteen days. It isn't reasonable. Why can't you just stay and let me show you who I am?”
“Because I don't trust you. I don't know you well enough to take you at your word, not when I know there’s something you’re holding back from me specifically because you know I won't like it. That's alarming and it makes me nervous.”
“Goddammit. Okay, fine. I'll tell you everything.”
She blinked. “What?”
“I'll tell you what you think you need to know so bad. For the record, I don't see how that changes anything about what we feel right now. In this moment, you care for me, and I am head over heels for you. It's bullshit you would judge who I am today based on something that happened a long time ago. Something that has nothing to do with you!”
She nodded. “I didn't say it would change anything, but it’s only fair I get to know who I'm getting involved with. Chase, I do care about you, which is why I want to know everything there is to know. I don't want to know your secrets, so I can judge you.”
“Don't you think it's a little late for that? I know what makes you happy, where to touch you to make you come, where you're ticklish, and what you like to eat. I probably know more about you than Mark did in two years,” I grumbled. “I can make you happy.”
“You probably do, and I have no doubt you would make me happy. The problem is; you know me, but I don't know you.”
“Yes, you do! I'm crazy about you Madison. Aren't we already involved? I feel like there’s a bond between us. I don't know what else to say to make you stay with me and let me prove we can make this work between us.”
She waved a hand. “We're not really involved, Chase. I can walk away. You can kick me out. We aren't bound together. We can chalk it up to an affair and go back to our regular lives. You don't have to tell me anything. That's your choice, but if you choose not to, I will choose to leave.”
I refused to let her see how much those words affected me. I could never go back to my regular life. She had spoiled all of that for me. I would never be the same. She had opened a door I could never close again. If she walked away from me, I knew I would be an empty shell of a man.
“Can we talk tonight?” I asked in a defeated voice.
She nodded. “Yes, we can.”
“Fine, I'll tell you everything tonight over dinner. I need you to know that what happened before doesn't define who I am today. I am still the same man you met that day. The same man who can make your body sing. The same man who would never hurt you.”
I saw her blue eyes glisten and knew she was feeling as emotional as I was. We both knew tonight would determine our futures. It would put the ball in her court, and she would be the one to decide if we had something worth trying to save or if she would walk away and never look back.
“We'll talk tonight. I make no promises, Chase. I can't,” she whispered.
I nodded. “Fair enough.”
I stripped out of my wet clothes and headed for the shower. I needed to get my head straight. I was feeling completely overwhelmed. In that moment, I regretted my decisions in the past. They were sure coming back to haunt me. I don't think I realized then how devastating my choices would be. I guess I assumed I would do my time and then pick up the pieces and move on. Now, I realized there was no moving on. It was moving through it constantly. Constantly being reminded of my sins. Forever indebted to the past and never getting the chance to truly be happy.
I stood under the hot water and did something I hadn't done in a long time. I silently prayed Madison would accept me for who I was and not hold my past against me.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ON
E
Madison
The smells coming from the kitchen were killing me. I was salivating. It was like I was in a steak-house, the aroma of spice blends tantalizing my nose and finally drawing me out of the room I had been holed up in for the past day. I wanted to hold out, but my hunger was too great to ignore.
I was starving for food and the truth. I had been anxiously waiting for dinner not only because I was hungry. I wanted to know Chase's secrets. It would tell me whether I could tumble head over heels in love with the man or whether I needed to pull back before I got in too deep.
Who was I kidding? I was already in way too deep. Him telling me what it was he was hiding was merely a formality. Even if I had to leave him because it was far too grievous of a crime, he would always have my heart. I knew that, and that was what scared me the most. I had a moral obligation to myself. I couldn't sacrifice my integrity. There was nothing worth that cost, even if the price was a broken heart.
“Hi,” I said, walking into the kitchen. “Can I help?”
“You can set the table.”
His voice was tight, and his jaw strained. His normally warm brown eyes were dulled by what looked to be grief. I prayed his secret had nothing to do with his mother's death. I wasn't that heartless to make him have to relive something that obviously pained him a great deal.
I grabbed what we needed for the table and watched him cook. He was so handsome. I loved to watch him move. His broad shoulders flexed as he pulled a pan out of the oven. I longed to stand behind him and rest my head against his back. I wanted to feel him in my arms, inhale that scent that clung to him that reminded me of Christmas. It was a combination of pine and fresh air. He didn't need cologne. There wasn't a thing about him I would change, including his hair that was rebelliously too long. I loved it.
“It's done,” he said, bringing a pan to the table and using a fork to stab a steak and put it on a plate before doing the same with the other steak in the pan.
“Steak?” I asked, pleasantly surprised.
“Yeah, I had a couple in the freezer. Figured this was as good an occasion as any to pull them out.”
The way he said it made it sound like it was his last meal before he was led to the execution chair. I took a seat at the table, nervously waiting for him to join me. I was scared to death of what he would say, but I had to know.
He sat a cold beer in front of me and took a long drag from the other one he held. Liquid courage I supposed. I could probably use some as well and quickly took a drink.
I knew he wasn't quite ready to talk when he began cutting chunks off his steak. I could wait. I just hoped he didn't lose his nerve. I had to know, or I would be gone first thing in the morning.
“I spent close to five years in prison,” he blurted out.
I almost choked on the piece of steak in my mouth. I had suspected his secret involved a crime, and I kind of figured he'd been to prison, but hearing it freaked me out.
I swallowed, took a drink of beer and looked at him. “Okay. Why?”
He looked away from me. I could see the shame in his eyes. My heart hurt for him, but we had to get this out in the open.
“Robbery.”
I froze. “Robbery or burglary?”
“Robbery.”
I let his words digest a bit. I knew enough about the law to know robbery was by force. He may have used a gun. What if he’d hurt someone while he was robbing whatever or whoever?
I cleared my throat. “Your inheritance?”
He knew what I was asking. “It's an inheritance. I didn't steal it. I have paperwork to prove it if you need to see it to believe me,” he said quite testily.
I shook my head. The delicious steak I had been enjoying no longer looked appetizing. I had a feeling his had soured in his stomach as well.
“Tell me,” I whispered, terrified to hear the truth.
He took a deep breath and stared at a spot on the wall.
“My friend, Danny,” he said, looking at me pointedly. “Danny has not had an easy life. He was the only kid of a single mom who was a horrible drunk. He had a juvenile record, and the day he turned eighteen, he got his first felony. He did some time, got out, and got hit with another felony within a week of being out. I felt bad for the guy. He always seemed to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.”
His hand ran through his hair, mussing it as he did. I had to look away. I couldn't let myself be swayed by his good looks.
“Anyway, Danny went to prison, got out, and my mom took him in. One day, we ran to the store together. I drove and waited in the car for him to grab a pack of cigarettes. The next thing I know, he was racing out of the convenience store, jumping in the car, and ordering me to drive.”
I did my best to school my features, but I was shocked he would have a friend like that and shocked he did time for simply being the driver. He wasn't actually the one who did the robbing.
“You didn't rob the place?” I asked, wanting to clarify.
He shook his head. “No, but I said I did.”
“What?” I asked completely confused.
“I confessed to the robbery. If Danny had been convicted of another felony, he would have gone away for good.”
I shrugged, not seeing what the problem was.
“He was my best friend. I couldn't let him rot in prison for something stupid. He only got away with six hundred bucks. It wasn't worth his life in prison,” he said, still not looking at me.
“Okay, so Danny robbed the store, you confessed, and you went to prison. This place cannot be in the dark ages. Wasn't there a security video or something?”
He nodded. “There was, but it wasn't clear, and Danny and I are about the same height and have the same color hair.”
I shook my head in disbelief. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. He willingly went to prison for a crime he didn't commit. Who did that?
“I don't understand, Chase. It makes no sense to me. I love Emily to death, but I don't think I would ever go to prison for her. Not for something she did on purpose.”
He shrugged. “I know. A lot of people didn't understand, but I felt it was the right thing to do. I wanted Danny to have a chance to prove he was a good guy. I wanted people to see the guy I knew, the guy who'd had a shit life and deserved a break.”
“Did he? Did he prove he was a good guy?” I asked, hoping this Danny character had gone on to save babies or something.
He smirked and took another drink of his beer. “No.”
I nodded, understanding why he was in such turmoil over the whole thing. He’d sacrificed his life, lost years with his mother, and his friend screwed him over.
“He's in town?”
“According to what Jayden said, yes. Which means he’s out of jail again. I hired a private investigator to run a background on him. While I was sitting in prison, serving his time, he was still up to no good. He didn't change a bit. I mean, I guess he got a little smarter and managed only to get busted for misdemeanors, but he's been in and out of jail for years. I gave up everything, and he didn't even have the decency to thank me,” he spat out.
“I'm sorry. That is really, really horrible,” I told him, meaning every word.
“Now you know. Do you feel better?” he asked sarcastically.
“I feel better knowing more about you. It takes a strong man to do what you did. I don't know anyone who would sacrifice so much for another person.”
He turned to look at me, fear in his eyes. “Does that mean you'll stay?”
I looked away. I couldn't look him in the eyes when I broke his heart.
“I don't know.”
I heard him curse under his breath.
“Chase, I don't know what to do with that information. I mean, I'm glad you told me. I do feel better knowing, and I feel like I have a better understanding of you, but it's a lot to take in. You're a convicted felon. What does that mean for your future?”
He laughed. “Don't worry about it. You don't need to hitch your wa
gon to a felon. I'm sure that isn't what you had in mind when you dumped your fiancé for the stranger in Colorado.”
“I didn't dump Mark for you. I dumped him for me. You had no part in that decision. I mean, yeah, we had a thing, but I didn't leave Mark. Hell, he left me before I had a chance to end things with him,” I reasoned, realizing it was all pretty laughable.
He stood, picked up his plate, and dumped the contents in the trash before tossing it into the sink. I heard it shatter and flinched.
“Why couldn't you have left it alone, Madison? Why did you need to know so bad? Does it change who I am to you?”
“It isn't about who you are right now. It is about me knowing all of you,” I explained.
He scoffed. “Yeah and now that you know, you can't even look at me. I didn't fucking rob anyone.”
“I know you didn't.”
I felt torn. I couldn't wrap my head around being with a man who’d been in prison. It was just not something I’d ever imagined for myself.
“I knew you would do this,” he whispered, and I could hear the disappointment in his voice.
“Chase.”
“Don't. I don't want a pity speech. I'll figure out how to get you to the airport or a hotel tomorrow until your flight on Saturday. You don't need to spend another horrible minute with me.”
I barely heard the words. He was walking out the door as he said them. When it slammed behind him, I looked down at my plate. I had lost my appetite as well. I knew I hurt him. It hadn't been my intention. I considered going after him, but I saw the headlights fade through the kitchen window and knew he was already gone.
I started to clean up, mulling over what he had told me. So much made sense now. I was joining the Hate Danny party. How dare the guy take everything Chase had given him and flush it down the toilet as if Chase's life meant so little? I cleaned the kitchen and sat on the couch, waiting for Chase to come back.
At midnight, I realized he wasn't coming back. I had driven him out of his own home. I crawled into his bed and fell asleep, coming to terms with the idea that my little fantasy of living happily ever after with Chase here in Colorado was not going to happen. It hurt. My heart ached.