by J. K Harper
With a soft kitten mewling sound, she let him possess her. Open her. Taste her, stroke her until she was a giant bundle of quivering nerve endings, so lit up that she just wanted to shuck his clothes off, then tear her own off too. She wanted to fling herself onto him right here on this bridge over the gurgling creek in this sweet little town that felt like home. She wanted to feel him slide inside her, filling her, claiming her as his. She gasped at how strong her longing was. She never felt this crazy heated up like this, ever. Cortez made her want to do bad things with him. Very bad, sweet, beautiful, sexy wild things with him.
He seemed to have similar thoughts, because he pushed her back against the railing of the bridge until her ass hit it, then reached down to lift her legs up so she had to wrap them around him. She squeaked with surprise. Gentle but rough at the same time, like sandpaper covered in a stroke of velvet, he growled, "Kissing you right now feels like the best thing I've ever done. I need to have you leaned up against this railing, have you hang on me so tight, because otherwise I might fall down from this feeling so damn good, Haley. Haley," he groaned, her name like a prayer on his lips.
She went breathless at that. So turned on, in a topsy-turvy, dizzy and excited thrill of sensation all at once. They kissed more, more. He reached his hands under her jacket and up her back, stroked his thumbs up and down her spine. The simple caress about drove her wild. Her hips pressed into his, and she felt him big and hard against her. His tongue was in her mouth, she was wrapped up with him, and nothing else existed in the world, nothing else.
He moved against her, with her, led the dance. Set the pace. Stroked her back, dipped his tongue in and out of her mouth, bit her lower lip with gentle teeth, turned her limbs to fire and her thoughts to one sweetly pounding cadence: Cortez. He was hers. He was who she wanted. She wanted him, all of him. Not just his body, even though ooh, yes, this kiss was setting her on fire like a roaring volcano. She wanted every single bit of him: body, soul, fierce warrior heart, kind and considerate man, huge savage bear shifter. Beautiful, big, stunning man. She wanted all of him.
As his lips nipped at hers, as she moaned into his mouth, she knew it felt real. Right. But at the same time, she knew she was still broken and sad, scared and hurt. And she knew he was too. She wanted to hold onto him forever, but at the same time she was afraid. Afraid they were both too broken to be able to patch themselves up and make one other whole.
Instead, they might rip each other up even more until there was nothing left.
9
Haley stood in the beautiful little sunroom in the Walker residence where she had started to take her breaks during morning writing sessions. She clutched a steaming hot mug of coffee in her hands, taking sips as she enjoyed the morning sunshine bathing her through the window. Last night's storm had broken away today to reveal fresh new snow piled up everywhere, dazzling in the bright light and the bluebird skies.
Aside from the beauty of the day and a deep appreciation for whoever had invented coffee and hazelnut creamer, all she could think about was Cortez. Oh, that man. That sexy, sexy man. They'd kissed one another to within an inch of their lives last night, huddled so tight together on that bridge she was sure a thin sheet of paper couldn't have fit between them. Finally, they'd slowly walked all the way back to the house, where he kissed her again on the front porch. He said it kind of weirded him out to kiss her on the doorstep of his parents' house even though they were half a world away, which made her laugh. But then he said he wasn't weirded out enough to stop kissing her, so they'd kissed some more right on the porch, with the softly falling snow just behind them.
Oh, it had been such a hot make out session. She wanted to do wild, crazy things with him. Bad, delicious, naughty, incredible things. But then he lifted her hand to his lips, grazed the back of it with his mouth, trailed little kisses all over it. His eyes still bright with his bear, he murmured, "Good night, pretty Haley. I'm really glad you shared your afternoon with me. Really glad you saw where my cabin's gonna be one day when I finish it. I'm glad you wanted me to show you some fun. Most of all, I'm glad you let me kiss you. I think I wanted to kiss you the first second I saw you dressed in your crazy jammies and that orange bathrobe."
She'd been caught between laughter at his words and a soft gasp as he kissed the back of her hand like a total gentlemen. A gentlemen like her ex had never been. He let go, softly said, “Talk to you soon, beautiful,” and went to his truck. But he wouldn't drive away until she closed the door behind her. It was another gentlemanly thing that just made her feel warm from head to toe. Cared for. He cared for her. Such a brute of a man, an enormous grizzly bear shifter, so strong and powerful yet so tender and kind with her.
The part that was totally screwed up, she thought with a frown, was that even though she knew it was real, and she loved that he touched her and cared for her so much this way, she couldn't help but wonder deep inside if she was really worth it. That she wasn't worthy of something deep, true, real.
She shook her head, hard. No. That was the old, cruel shit that Justin had managed to worm into her head. She had to refuse to believe it.
Her phone jingled in the living room. She went right to it, half terrified it would be Justin, mostly hoping it was Cortez. When she got her phone and saw the name flashing there, she yelped with delight and swiped it on immediately. "Pix!"
Her best friend's voice bubbled with laughter over line. "Haley, girl! Guess what?"
"What?"
"I'm heading your way. You ready for a houseguest?"
Haley shrieked with excitement. "Yes! I've missed you so much. Deep Hollow is so cute, I can't wait for you to see everything. When will you get here?"
"Is a few days from now okay?" Pix's voice was just as excited.
Haley shrieked again. "Definitely!"
"But I don't want to ruin your writing schedule," her friend added in a more serious tone. Aside from Haley's family, Pix knew more about Haley's hard journey and her current goals than anyone else in the world.
And now Cortez knew too. Oh, she liked that. A lot.
"You won't wreck my schedule, Pixie girl. I've been learning that it's really important to take breaks and have fun."
Pix's teasing, interested voice said, "Ohhh, rilly?"
They both laughed.
"Does this is mean my hard-working friend Haley has perhaps met someone who is showing her that life can be fun?"
Haley grinned. She and Pix had known each other since they were little girls. Pix could read right between the lines.
“Yes," she said through a smile she couldn't get rid of. "Oh, Pix, he's amazing. And he sees me. He really sees me for who I am.” Her skin shivered at that truth.
"Sweet girl, that's it.” Pix sounded relieved and sympathetic at once. “That's the tone in your voice I've missed hearing for way too long now. You deserve this so much. I'm so excited for you. Tell me about him?"
"He's a bear shifter, he's so big and strong. But he's gentle and kind too, even though I think he could rip the head off anyone if he needed to. But he'd never do that unless he was forced to defend himself. He's the absolute opposite of Justin, and he just feels so good. Pix, I'm terrified. Terrified I'll screw this up. But it just feels so right with him." The wonder in her voice was real.
“Hooray! I can't wait to meet him. He sounds like a keeper, Haley. And you deserve that more than anyone I know.”
He sounds like a keeper. Just the thought of it made Haley glow after she and Pix hung up. Yes. Cortez was a keeper. A keeper in a way her ex had never been. A keeper in a way she had never truly imagined before. Their kisses, the ones that set her soul on fire and allowed her imagination to fly up and be brilliant, filled her memory again. Cortez had opened himself to her, and she had opened herself to him. She could trust him. Sure, he said he still didn't feel like he could trust himself. But when she had watched him shift into his bear so fast, had seen how he instantly was driven to protect her, charging off into the unknown to challenge
back the intruder mountain lion, she'd known then that he was ready to keep her safe.
Realization hit her so suddenly that she went stock still in the middle of the living room, eyes wide.
She believed she wasn't worthy, but Cortez didn't believe that and he didn't see that about her. He thought she was worthy of everything good there was.
And while he believed he wasn't fit to keep those he cared about safe, she knew that was wrong. He would have died to protect her from that strange shifter yesterday.
They each thought they both were screwed up, but that wasn't the truth. No, what was true was that they were both still scared. Just scared. And while fear might suck, it wasn't real.
She vowed to herself on the spot that whatever this incredible thing flaming between them was, they would make it true and whole. She had to see him again. Soon. She had to tell him, no, show him, how much she cared. That she was with him all the way. That her past might be shitastic, and his past might be filled with tragedy and pain, but just maybe, Haley and Cortez could make a future together that would be something that looked more like completely awesome.
10
Cortez stepped out of the shower, the day's grit thankfully washed off, but he still felt tired as hell. He'd taken some clients out that morning, and they'd had an awesome time snowshoeing up above Silvertip Ridge and then enjoying the gourmet lunch provided by the lodge that he'd packed along. They tipped him really well at the end, telling him he was a damn good guide and that they would be back again soon, this time with friends. That had been great, and he felt somewhat cocky as he returned to the lodge to find Quentin so he could help his older brother make some repairs on one of the maintenance buildings.
That went downhill quick, because Quentin was pissed at him again. Those damn panther shifters from the other day apparently had been going around to every social media site, saying that Tooth 'n Claw Tours was terrible and no one who stayed at the Silvertip Lodge should ever book a trip with them. He and Quentin had an argument that quickly got so loud, it was a good thing they were way out by the back buildings where guests couldn't hear them. Then he still had to spend the next two hours in his brother's terrible company, each of them banging and hammering so hard it was lucky they didn't split the damn wood.
By that point Cortez was pretty fucking pissed off himself. Even the fresh memory of sweet, beautiful Haley kissing him and touching him and looking at him like he hung the damn moon was just barely enough to keep him from completely losing his shit. His next fuckup? He'd forgotten yet again that he asked Beckett to meet him at the cabin that afternoon to do some work, so he was treated to a text that said, Are you fucking kidding me man? Get your head out of your fucking ass before I come find you and kick it farther up there. Don't ask me to waste my time again until you figure shit out. I wanna help you but you have to fucking show up.
Fucking awesome.
By the time Cortez got back to his little place in town, he'd been a tightly wound storm cloud that threatened to explode at the smallest provocation. So right now, still wet from the shower, he was in no damn fucking mood to be nice when someone knocked on his door.
"Fucking hell," he growled. He wrapped a towel tight around his waist and stormed toward the front door, not giving a shit who'd be treated to a sight when he yanked it open. The second he did, the enraged greeting he planned to roar out died on his lips.
Haley. Haley, wearing a green winter hat on her head that made her green eyes seem even brighter, her jacket pulled tight around her, the tentative smile and softness in her gaze she looked at him from the doorstep. Then her eyes dropped down to his naked chest, which still had water droplets from the shower on it, then down to the gray towel he'd tied tight around his waist. Her mouth rounded into the prettiest little oh shape, her eyes widening.
"Uh—come in." The way her eyes were trained on his towel was enough to stir his dick into life. He had to kind of shift his feet and lean back a little from the hips so he wouldn't tent up the front of the towel. Damn, she was gorgeous. Pretty Haley, such an intriguing woman who wasn't afraid of him.
When she swept her eyes back up to his, he saw something in them that completely stalled out his brain and made his boner even harder. Dark, sweet desire. She swallowed, and his gaze traced the delicate movement of her throat. "I'm sorry. I should've called you first. I just wanted to come over here and see you."
They stared at each other for a long minute. "Come inside," he said again, a dark murmur full of promise and need. He stepped aside to let her slip past him, her pretty scent sweeping through him, threatening to drown him in its intoxicating allure. Whoa, damn.
After she came in and he shut the door, he turned around to see the desire in her eyes tripped toward hesitation and nervousness. "I should have called. I shouldn't have come—”
He strode toward her, closing the distance between them with the desperation of a drowning man reaching for a life ring. "No should have or could have or would have with me, Haley. Everything you do is good by me. Don't you ever question yourself."
She shyly nodded. “Deal,” she whispered, a smile brushing her lips.
“Oh, wait.” Suddenly remembering the one other good part of his day, he turned and headed for the little kitchen table that served as a catch-all for papers, keys, and other random shit he couldn't find a good place for. “I have something for you.” Wiping his hand on the towel to be sure it was dry, he grabbed up the sole book on the table and turned around to offer it to Haley. “I figured you must like to read, since you're a writer. This book is the history of the Silvertip Lodge as written by a guest years ago. Uh, I thought you might like to read it. It's for you,” he added. “I mean, your own copy. From me.”
He suddenly felt kind of dumb saying that. And just handing it to her like this. He'd seen it in the lodge's gift shop earlier today when he'd stopped in there with his clients, who were looking for gifts to take home with them, and immediately thought of Haley. It wasn't very long, but it had pictures and was a pretty good read. It was probably the only book he'd read in about five years, and he'd only read it because his parents had given a copy of it to each Walker son. Damn, he hadn't even wrapped it.
Before he could apologize for that, Haley reached for it. She gazed at the cover, which was a photo of the lodge on a beautiful summer day, then turned it over to read the information on the back. When she looked up at him, her eyes seemed extra shiny. “You got this for me? A gift? From you?”
He nodded, still feel somewhat abashed. But it seemed she liked it. “Yeah. I just figured you might be interested.”
Her hand trembled as she put it back on the table, then said quietly, “That's one of the best gifts anyone's ever gotten me, Cortez. You—I—Thank you,” she ended simply, looking at him like he'd just offered her the gift of life itself.
Looking so fucking sweet and sexy at once, so damned kissable, that his dick roared back to life and probably tented the hell out of his towel. He didn't care, because neither did she. With a single stride he went to her, on her, pulling her into his arms.
She made a little sound in her throat, so sexy and needy, and he was undone. "Cortez," she murmured, reaching for him with just as much need and passion. He crashed his lips over hers, tasting her, sucking her luscious lower lip into his mouth. Damn, she tasted better than anything he'd ever known he wanted. Damn, he wanted this more than anything he'd ever had before. He wanted Haley. All of her.
Though he was half afraid he would hurt her with the force of his need, Haley was strong. So much stronger than she thought she was. She wanted him, he could feel it in how eagerly she kissed him back, how she pressed against him, how she rolled her fingers up and down his bare back, slicking them over his skin, racing fire through his body everywhere her fingers touched him.
He growled, gripping the nape of her neck, his fingers digging into her skin as he kissed her deep and strong and wild. Powerful, beautiful little Haley wanted him. She wanted to have him like thi
s, to not be afraid of him. She wanted him as badly as he wanted her. Hell fucking yes. Cortez needed to touch her. To feel her. To see her naked before him, the look on her face full of sharp desire for him.
Pulling back from her, he growled, "Haley. I need to hold you and love you and fuck you right now. I need to feel your body against mine, while I taste you and touch you all night. All night, woman. That okay with you?"
Haley thought her heart might explode from the force with which it beat. Cortez was looking at her with such deep intensity, his eyes bright with hunger. Hunger for her. "Yes. Yes, all of it, yes."
He reached forward and kissed her again, so hard it was almost painful, which she wanted. She pulled the pain into herself, gave some back to him, shared it so they could both let it go. He reached down, nibbled his way along her cheek, down her neck. "Mine," she thought she heard him growl there. She moaned in response, her entire body shivering with sweet chills of arousal.
"Clothes. Off. Now." The desire roughened his voice so much that she almost couldn't understand him, but she knew what he was saying. Yes. Yes. A thousand, million times yes. His voice was a command, one she was more than happy to obey. She yanked at her jacket with trembling fingers, managed to get it off. Pulled her sweater over her head, then went for her shirt. Dammit, buttons. She couldn't deal with them. Swept up in the feverish need in Cortez's eyes, she heedlessly ripped her shirt off, throwing it aside and barely hearing as the buttons scattered all over the floor.
This amazing man, setting her body on fire from her toes to her hair. He'd gotten her a book. The history of the place that was so important to his clan, his family, him. She was awed again by the sweetness of the gift. He thought he couldn't save anyone? He didn't know it, but that's what he was doing by giving her the gift of something that was a piece of his own heart and heritage, in the form of something that was so important to her.