by Lilly Atlas
He didn’t look overbearing now. He looked like a man who had hit rock bottom.
“Jesus Christ.” Her father rubbed his hands over his pale face.
“Minute forty-five.”
“Stop fucking counting down.” He glared at Acer, a spark igniting his eyes. “This information could very well get me killed.”
Fia’s stomach dipped. What the hell had he gotten himself into?
“Ninety seconds.”
A strangled sound flew from deep within her father. For a moment, Fia feared he’d charge Acer, but he held his ground. Acer looked as calm and cool as ever.
“Reginald is in deep with the mob. Deep. Millions deep. They invested in three of his hotel designs, hotels that never got off the ground. Reginald pissed away their investment. Women, gambling…I’m not exactly sure where it all went, but it’s gone. I—I think—” He stared at the ceiling. “Jesus,” he whispered. “I think it may have all been part of some psychotic plan to screw the mob out of money. I think he sabotaged the hotels to keep the money, but I have no proof of that.”
Fia kept her gaze on Acer as her father spoke, gauging his reaction. He was so in control of his emotions, not a flicker of response crossed his expressionless face. The man should start playing poker. She dug deep, using him for inspiration as she tried to keep her own face blank while her heart raced and her stomach rolled with nausea.
Paying attention to the conversation was growing difficult with her thoughts spiraling out of control. They all revolved around Acer. Surprisingly she felt almost numb toward her father. Here he was, in serious, potentially lethal trouble, and all she could think about was Acer. What would this mean for him and his club? Was he okay? Why hadn’t he told her any of this? She might have been able to help.
It’s not like she would have spilled his secrets to her fath—
Oh my God. That was it. The realization was like running full speed into a brick wall. How many times had he warned her not to trust anyone? It was a code he lived by. She’d been stupid enough to believe she was different, that she would gain his trust eventually. Well, she was just like anyone else, and he didn’t trust her.
It gutted her, but she didn’t let it show. She shoved the despair and anguish down deep. Lashing out right now would only hurt Acer’s position with her father. She’d never put him or Jester, or any of the No Prisoners in jeopardy. She owed them far too much.
And she loved Acer. Despite the fact that he didn’t trust her.
Fool was too generous a word.
Damn, her heart ached.
Chapter Thirty-Five
The mob? Really? Christ, Acer wanted no part of that mess. Sure, the No Prisoners had a few contacts with different mob bosses throughout the country, but their reach tended to be great and their wrath deadly.
He glanced at Fia, but couldn’t read any of her feelings in her face. Her rigid stance and rapid rise and fall of her chest was the only indication of any distress.
Jester still hovered behind her, his forearms braced on the walls of the hallway. Emily remained out of sight. Nice for him that his ol’ lady obeyed and stayed put.
Fia’s not your ol’ lady.
Christ, she’d probably think of him as an enemy after this.
“Keep talking,” Acer said. Caldwell needed to get this story over with. “What does any of this have to do with you?”
“The woman. From the pictures.” He shifted his eyes to Fia then back to Acer. “She’s the daughter of the mob boss your father did business with. I won’t tell you his name.”
Acer almost laughed. He’d have the name five minutes after Caldwell left. “What was your young plaything’s name? Alicia, right?” He paused as realization set in. “Did my old man set you up?”
He nodded. “Looks that way. I met her when I was with him. It’s how he got me to help with the smuggling. Blackmailed me.” He pierced Acer with his gaze. “Like you’re doing.”
This story was getting boring. “So Reggie introduced you to a girl younger than your daughter, and you couldn’t keep your dirty hands off her. You then find out that she’s the daughter of the mob boss Reggie owes money to. I’m missing something here. What’s the big deal? Aside from the fact that you’re a cheating scumbag. You afraid her daddy’s gonna find out his little girl is fucking a married piece of shit? Probably not her first, Terry.”
Caldwell shook his head and peeked at Fia one more time before lowering his gaze to the floor.
Christ, Acer wanted her out of this room. She stood so ramrod straight he worried she might snap. He couldn’t for the life of him tell what was going on behind her impassive mask. Maybe if he’d been honest with her she’d be willing to let him handle this on his own. One more check in the asshole column.
“She’s pregnant and married too. The baby is mine.” The words were whispered so low they were almost inaudible.
Fia’s gasp sounded like a thunderclap in the shocked silence of the room. Man, Caldwell made himself quite the mess. It all made sense now. If the mob boss found out Caldwell knocked up his precious, and married, daughter there would be some serious hell to pay. Perfect blackmail material for Reginald.
“Ahh, now we’re getting somewhere.” He’d give his left nut to know what was going on in Fia’s mind. On top of everything else she’d been through in the past few weeks, the news that her family was falling apart had to be devastating. “My bastard of a father must be thrilled at this turn of events. Hell, he couldn’t have planned it better. So, he’s blackmailing you. You invest in the hotel, help him at the border and he’ll keep your name away from your new kid’s grandfather.” He smiled. “Now, I’m pushing you to get Reggie to pull back or I’ll release photos of you with the little adulteress to the media.”
Fia’s eyes widened but she remained silent.
“Whatever you do with this information, Reginald can’t know it came from me.” Caldwell’s voice shook like he was on the verge of tears.
Acer laughed. “It won’t matter what the fuck I say. You think her daddy won’t find out? You’re delusional as well as stupid. Get out of here Caldwell. You’ve successfully saved your own ass for the time being.”
Caldwell turned toward Fia. Would he lash out at her again? Maybe beg her for forgiveness? Didn’t matter. Fia didn’t deserve the first, and Caldwell didn’t deserve her good graces. Neither did Acer. “I—”
“You have nothing to say that she wants to hear. Get the hell out.” After all that Fia had been through in the past few weeks, he wasn’t going to let her father heap his garbage on her.
Fia’s eyes narrowed slightly in his direction, but she didn’t contradict him. Part of him wanted to laugh. Leave it to Fia to grumble at his protection.
Without another word, Caldwell left the apartment. The door closed behind him and it was as though he took all the air in the room with him.
A heavy blanket of silence and unanswered questions descended.
“Jester,” Emily whispered. She pulled Jester’s arm, dragging him back into the kitchen.
Acer was alone with Fia.
Alone with a woman whose face was no longer impassive. Profound sadness radiated from her in waves so thick they were almost palpable. He’d let her down. He’d betrayed her. He broke her heart.
Jesus Christ, he’d done what his father had done to him twenty years ago.
~ ~ ~ ~
Where to even begin? What would come out of her mouth if she opened it? Would she scream at him for keeping her in the dark? For not trusting her? For allowing her to be blindsided by her father’s treachery? Would tears fall from her eyes as she railed at him for breaking her heart? Would words of forgiveness make their way past her lips?
Each of these feelings swirled inside of her like a brewing hurricane whose strength and path was still in question.
Acer didn’t speak, and for the first time since she’d met him, he looked uncertain. Maybe he was wary of the storm as well.
They stared at each oth
er and her heart sank farther with each silent second that ticked by.
He was so handsome. Memories of the hours spent beneath his hard body hit her with the force of an avalanche. They combined with the memories of his gentle care and protection over the past weeks. She was strong because of him. That’s what she’d stayed here for. Not to fall in love, but to recover from a trauma. He’d given her that gift. Falling in love with him was on her.
She cleared her throat. “I think it would be best if I left now.”
“Fia—”
She held up a hand. “Acer, let’s not do this. I’m leaving tomorrow, anyway. I could yell and flip out and you could apologize and tell me why you kept me in the dark, but it won’t change anything. I’m still leaving. All it will do is drag us through a bunch of emotional shit neither of us has the energy for.”
He didn’t move, didn’t speak, but his eyes implored her to do just that. To yell at him, to cry and beat on his chest with her fists. Maybe it would make him feel better, but she couldn’t do it.
Because she loved him, and because in this moment, the agony of betrayal was too great. If she let it bubble out her eyes and her mouth, she’d end up in a hysterical heap on the floor. She didn’t move to him, didn’t hug him, didn’t kiss him. She wasn’t strong enough.
With soft steps, she moved toward the door. “Please apologize to Emily and the other women for me. I’ll call and say a proper goodbye to them in a few days. And, if you wouldn’t mind, can you have Jester bring my bags down to my car?”
He nodded and she opened the door. With her hand on the door, a surge of anger rose from deep in her soul. He was just going to stand there and let her walk out the door without so much as a word of apology or explanation. Well, fuck that. Old Fia was back, and she didn’t take shit from anyone.
She turned and stared at him. He wore a bleak expression that an hour ago, she would have attributed to sadness over her leaving. Now she wasn’t sure what to think. “You could have told me about my father’s involvement at any time over the past week. But you didn’t. In fact, you purposefully left that very important piece of information out of your story the night you and the boys got in a fight, didn’t you?” Her chest heaved and she fought to keep herself from screaming at him. Jester and Emily were still in the apartment.
“You’ve been through so much. You don’t deserve more shi—”
“You’re goddamned right I’ve been through a lot,” she yelled. So much for keeping her cool. “And you’re goddamned right I don’t deserve more shit. But that’s exactly what you’re giving me now. Aren’t you the one who keeps telling me how strong I am? How well I handle what life has thrown at me? So try again, Acer. Tell me the real reason you kept my father’s involvement a secret.”
He took a step toward her. “Fia—”
She held out a hand, warding him off. “How about I tell you my theory.” God, how could this have happened? Ten minutes ago, she was imagining the amazing night they were going to spend exploring each other and making each other scream with pleasure. Now she could barely stand to breathe the same air as him. “I think you were worried that I might call him up and warn him. I think you didn’t trust me not to betray you and your club. Am I warm?”
Guilt burned bright in his eyes, answering her question without words.
“That’s what I thought,” she said. She sighed and wiped at an errant tear. “I owe you, and your club, so much more than I can ever repay. Never in a million years would I have betrayed you, or anyone in your club. If you don’t know that, then you don’t know one single thing about me. Please don’t contact me when I leave.” Her voice hitched. She was dangerously close to a breakdown.
She turned back to the door. This couldn’t be further from the way she wanted to leave things between them. Well, he certainly made it easier to walk out that door.
“Please let me have a prospect follow you. We still don’t know where Mike is,” he spoke so low she almost missed it. Like he knew there was no way in hell she’d agree to that, but needed to get it out in the universe anyway.
She snorted. “He’s gone, Acer. There hasn’t been a blip from him on anyone’s radar. When I get home, I’ll hire security until he’s found, but I do not want anyone following me out of town. If I so much as see a motorcycle in my rear-view mirror, I’ll call the police. Goodbye, Acer.”
She stepped through the door and started down the steps, her head held high. When she was halfway to the ground, the door closed with a click that that might as well have been the sound of a steel door slamming in the path of her future.
She doubled over as a sob ripped from the very depths of her soul.
Chapter Thirty-Six
The sight of Fia turning her back on him and walking out of his life would haunt him for the rest of his days. He hadn’t said a word of apology. What was there to say? He was sorry? He hadn’t meant to keep the information from her?
He had. Because he didn’t trust her.
Of course, he was sorry. So damned sorry he could barely draw in a breath. What difference would the words actually make?
He rubbed a hand over the left side of his chest in an inadequate attempt to ease the squeezing pain. When had he allowed himself to feel? When had his heart re-opened and become vulnerable?
About seven months ago, in his father’s hotel in LA. That’s when.
Jester stomped down the hallway, a dark scowl on his face, Fia’s duffle over his shoulder and suitcase rolling behind him. Emily trailed after him, but didn’t follow him out the door. Instead, she turned to Acer. “Go sit on your couch.”
“Em—”
“Uh uh.” She shook her head and pointed to his couch. “You want me to tell Jester you gave his pregnant girlfriend a hard time?” She raised an eyebrow and planted a hand on her hip.
Acer snorted. “You play dirty.”
“When I have to. When someone is being so stupid they can’t see two inches past their own bullshit.”
Yikes. Emily didn’t curse too often.
She sat next to him on the couch and took one of his hands between both of hers. He was surprised by how soft and fragile her fingers felt in his. She was tough; she’d have to be to put up with a big gorilla like Jester. Plus, she’d been to hell and clawed her way back out. He had nothing but respect for Emily. She reminded him of Penny, bringing out a hidden brotherly protectiveness.
“Acer you gave me the benefit of the doubt when I was in some deep trouble. I’m going to pay you back with some advice.”
“Look, Emily. I know I fucked up. She—”
“And you will listen to my advice.” She shook her teacher finger at him.
Acer chuckled. She’d spoken over him like he hadn’t uttered a word. “Yes, ma’am.”
She smiled and squeezed his hand. “That’s better. I just want you to think about something. Is this really about you not trusting Fia? Is that really why you kept information from her? Because from where I’m standing, it seems like the person you don’t trust is you.”
Acer rolled his eyes. “Seriously, Emily? This is not that type of couch, and you teach first grade. You’re not a therapist.”
She narrowed her light eyes. “Well you’re acting like my six-year-old students right now, so you get to listen to my lecture.”
Ouch.
“Telling Fia about her father’s involvement, letting her get closer to you, would have given her the power to hurt you. I don’t believe for a second that you thought she’d run to her family with the information. You’ve just been so emotionally stunted and have hidden behind your self-erected walls for so long that you don’t trust yourself to open up to a woman. I hate to break it to you, buddy, but it seems to me like you fell in love with her anyway, despite your best efforts.” She patted his hand. “Let that marinate for a while.”
Unease settled into his stomach as her words hit too close to home.
“One more thing. Just remember what an unbelievable amount of trust Fia had to
put in you to allow your relationship to progress to the level it did. She’s no dummy. Perhaps if she trusted you that much, it was well deserved. Maybe you could trust yourself even half as much. Scary thought, but worth it.” She leaned forward and brushed a kiss against his cheek.
Jester’s rumbled growl of disapproval caused them both to chuckle.
“Sorry, honey, just trying to help out your dumb brother. I’m ready to leave.” She stood and moved to her man.
Jester nodded at him before dipping his head and kissing Emily. His hands cupped her ass and he tugged her close. They had a rocky beginning, but were solid now. And expecting a kid of all things. Could he do that? Could he put aside his bullshit as Emily called it and reach for something like she and Jester had?
“You two think you could take that nonsense about five feet over and do it on the steps outside instead of in front of my face?” The mention of sex on the steps had him thinking of the night Fia swallowed his cock on those very steps. Not what he needed to be reminded of in this moment.
Emily giggled. “Sorry, Acer. We’ll get out of your hair. And we’ll try to make it home before we rip each other’s clothes off.” Her cheeks pinked. Even after more than a year of hanging out with Jester’s crew, she still blushed like a schoolgirl.
“No promises, babe,” Jester muttered.
She smiled and towed him outside.
“Emily?” Acer called through the open door. “Thanks.”
Her grin was genuine. “Really think about what I said, and you’re welcome.”
Alone in his noiseless apartment, Acer leaned his head back against the couch cushions. Now what? He inhaled a deep breath and the faint smell of vanilla tickled his senses, same as it had for the past few months. She’d left her mark on his apartment like she’d left her mark on his heart.