Gavin and Bishop exchanged looks. There was no challenge this time, only mutual dismay.
“There’s no sense in arguing with her when she takes that tone,” Gavin said, sounding disgusted. “It’ll just make her say it more.”
Lila smiled. Whatever the conflict between father and son, at least they agreed on something.
***
Afterward, Lila remembered the trip as being one long, dusty blur. She tried, on several occasions, to engage Bishop in conversation, but, though he was polite, he was not particularly communicative. She managed to pry out of him the fact that he was the sheriff in Paris but not much else. The news that he was in law enforcement filled Lila with mixed emotions. On the one hand, it was certainly a respectable calling. On the other, it seemed a somewhat uncertain profession. And wasn’t there a certain amount of danger inherent in it?
The thought made her suddenly very aware of her dependence on him. Not only hers but the children’s. If something happened to Bishop, she could always turn to Douglas. Despite the distance that had been between them when she left, she knew he would always be there if she needed him. What about Gavin and Angel?
Lila felt her heart sink at the realization that they were now her responsibility. As their stepmother, it would be up to her to see that they were cared for, to raise them—alone, if something should happen to Bishop. The thought was overwhelming.
The children occupied the seats opposite her and Bishop. Outside, all was darkness. Inside the coach, lanterns had been lit. They cast a thin light over the passengers. Angel was stretched out across two seats, her head in her brother’s lap, a battered rag doll clutched in one arm. She looked like her namesake, her sweetly rounded face flushed with sleep, her lashes creating shadowy crescents on her cheeks. Gavin slept also, one arm in his lap, the other flung across his sister. In sleep the wariness that usually marked his expression disappeared, leaving him looking very young and very vulnerable.
Lila tried to imagine herself raising the two of them alone, but her imagination boggled. And it wouldn’t be just Gavin and Angel, she thought, remembering the child she carried. In a few months she’d have a brand-new baby to care for, someone smaller and even more dependent than Angel.
She touched her fingers to her still-flat stomach, trying to imagine the child inside her. Would it be a boy or a girl? Would it have red hair or black? Her green eyes or Bishop’s blue? Other than the disruption it had created in her life, Lila hadn’t given much thought to the child she carried. In some odd way, it hadn’t seemed quite real to her. She’d been too busy worrying about other things to think of the child as anything more than an enormous complication. But looking at the sleeping children, she was suddenly aware of the life she carried as something apart from both herself and Bishop. Feeling someone watching her, Lila turned her head and met Bishop’s eyes.
He’d been watching her for several minutes, watching the expressions flicker across her face in the thin light from the lamps, wondering what she was thinking. When she set her hand against her stomach, he’d realized that she was thinking about the child she carried—his child. The thought filled him with a restless hunger. He wanted to see the changes his child had wrought with her body. If he set his hand over hers, would he feel a new curve to her stomach? Were her breasts fuller now? More sensitive?
Those were the thoughts passing through his head when Lila looked up and saw him watching her. She was startled by the raw hunger in his gaze. Since he’d seemed in no hurry to consummate their marriage, she’d assumed that whatever desire he’d felt for her three months ago was gone. But from the way he was looking at her now, she couldn’t have been more wrong. The depth of hunger in his eyes was almost frightening. Even more frightening was the echo of that same hunger within herself. She had only to look at him to remember what it had felt like to lie in his arms, to feel him kissing her, touching her, loving her.
Lila wrenched her gaze away from his, aware that she was breathing too quickly. It was wrong to feel the way that she did. Wrong to feel this desire for a man she didn’t love. Married or not, without at least affection between them, what she felt could only be called lust. And wasn’t it lust that had gotten her into this situation in the first place?
Bishop thought he saw an echo of his own hunger in Lila’s eyes, but then her expression stiffened and she looked away. He let his own gaze linger on the smooth curve of her cheek, the determined thrust of her chin. Her hair seemed to catch and hold the light, glowing as if with its own inner fire. He wanted to reach out and tug loose the pins that held it, warm his hands in the silken fire of it.
He’d almost certainly draw back a bloody stub if he tried, he thought with a quick stab of black humor. She’d made it clear that she was in no hurry to become his wife in fact as well as in name. Last night she’d slept in the same room with Angel, leaving him to bunk with Gavin.
But once they arrived in Paris, she wouldn’t find it so easy to use the children to keep him at a distance. Sooner or later, she would be his wife, in every sense of the word.
CHAPTER 7
At first sight, Paris, Colorado, was far from impressive. Nor did a second and third look uncover any hidden splendors. It had started out as a gold mining town, founded during the rush of ’59. When the gold played out, the town eked out an existence until the discovery of silver brought it new life. Situated in a valley in the middle of the Rocky Mountains, it survived because of its location at the end of a branch rail line that brought supplies to the miners as it labored its way up the mountain from Denver City and, on its return down the mountain, transported ore back to the city.
Though she’d known it was foolish to do so, Lila had let the town’s name influence her expectations. But as the four of them disembarked from the train, she saw immediately that it had been even more foolish than she’d realized. Paris, the small mining town in Colorado, bore no resemblance to the great city from which it took its name. There were no tree-lined streets, no ancient buildings and soaring cathedrals. Instead, plain wooden buildings, most with false fronts, lined a single dirt street. To Lila, accustomed to the older, more established towns of the East Coast, the lack of brick or stone buildings gave the town a temporary feeling, as if it were made of building blocks, ready to be knocked down at the whim of a child.
The businesses were much the same as those to be found in any town, east or west. There was a general store, a restaurant bearing a hand-painted sign proclaiming Fine Home Cooking, a barbershop with a newspaper office above, a small butcher shop, a livery and blacksmith shop combined, a bank, and two saloons. Not exactly a metropolis, Lila thought, looking down the dusty main street from her vantage point on the platform.
While Bishop was making arrangements for their luggage, she forced down her dismay. No matter how unimpressive it looked, this was to be her home for the foreseeable future. One thing about traveling with a man who rarely strung more than two words together at a time and two children who were better at entertaining themselves than she could ever hope to be was that it had given her plenty of time to think. Her marriage vows had been taken for better or worse. It was going to be up to her to see to it that there was more of the former than the latter in her marriage. She was going to make the best of things, and she might as well start now.
If the town itself was unimpressive, the same could certainly not be said for its setting. The Rocky Mountains rose up on all sides, like the fingers of a giant hand in the palm of which rested the town. She’d had plenty of opportunity to admire the Rockies as the train huffed and puffed its way upward between Denver City and Paris. The splendor of the mountain peaks was such that not even Gavin had been able to conceal his awe. Certainly no man-made cathedral could match nature’s offerings.
“We’ll walk to the hotel,” Bishop said as he joined her and the children on the edge of the platform.
“The hotel?” Lila raised her eyebrows in question. “Is that where we’ll be staying?”
“Until I
can make arrangements to rent something for us. I’ve been sleeping in a room at the jail until now.” His glance ran over his newly acquired family. “I don’t think we’d all fit.”
The dry humor caught Lila by surprise. She smiled at him, the first natural smile she’d given him since his sudden appearance at her wedding to Logan. “Even if we could all fit, I don’t think a jail is a suitable place for the children.”
There was a teasing light in her eyes that reminded Bishop of the girl he’d met three months before, the one who’d sparkled so brightly that he’d been drawn to her like a moth to a flame—with results almost as destructive. He gave her a half smile in return.
“Then I guess we’ll have to make do with the hotel. It's not far.” Setting his hand against the small of her back, he guided her down the platform steps and into the street. Gavin followed, holding Angel’s hand.
Though the sun was shining down out of a pale-blue sky, the temperature was cool enough to make Lila glad for the protection of the light wrap she wore over her dove-gray traveling dress. It was the middle of the afternoon and there weren’t many people about, but those in evidence stared at their small party with open curiosity. Lila was grateful that they’d spent the night before in Denver City before boarding the train to Paris. It had given her a chance to take a bath and change her clothes so that she didn’t have to make her first appearance in her new home looking like a filthy ragamuffin.
Bishop returned one or two greetings but didn’t stop to introduce Lila. Within the hour, word would have spread through town that the sheriff was back with a woman and two kids in tow. Speculation would be running wild. It struck Lila as ironic that she’d fled Pennsylvania to escape gossip and here she was smack in the middle of it again.
The hotel was a boxy two-story building with no pretensions to great beauty on the outside. Nor did it have any on the inside. The rug that covered the lobby floor was so faded that the original colors could only be guessed at, and the furnishing were neither elaborate nor expensive. But Lila was relieved to see that it appeared clean and tidy. If the rooms were as well cared for as the public areas, then she could offer no objection to staying here.
“Afternoon, Sheriff. Good to have you back.” The man who stood behind the registration desk was short and balding. He’d carefully combed his few remaining strands of dark hair over the top of his head where they presented the appearance of thin brown stripes against his pink scalp. His eyes were brown also, and they darted from Bishop to Lila with quick curiosity. “What can I do for you?”
“I need two rooms, Mr. Lyman,” Bishop said. “One for myself and my wife, one for my children.”
“Your wife?” Mr. Lyman’s voice rose on a squawk of surprise. His eyes darted from Lila to Gavin and Angel. “Children?”
“That’s right.” Bishop drew Lila forward. “Lila, this is Clem Lyman. This is my wife, Lila.”
“I’m pleased to meet you, Mr. Lyman,” Lila said with a smile.
“Pleasure’s mine, Miz McKenzie.” Mr. Lyman ducked his head in her direction. He still looked dazed. “Didn’t know you was married, Sheriff. Let alone had kids.”
“We were married when I went East a few months back,” Bishop said easily. “Gavin and Angel are my children from my first marriage. Now, how about those rooms?”
The other man pushed the register toward him without speaking, apparently struck dumb by this spate of information. Lila hoped he’d attribute her flush to shyness rather than to her embarrassment at the lie Bishop had just told about their wedding date. Obviously he was thinking ahead to the time when her pregnancy started to show and making sure that, when people began counting on their fingers, the answer they came up with wouldn’t shame her. She appreciated his foresight, even as she resented the necessity for it.
Bishop signed his name to the register and collected two keys from Clem Lyman, who couldn’t seem to take his eyes from Lila and the children. It was a relief to have an excuse to move away from his fascinated gaze. She followed Bishop up the stairs, glancing over her shoulder to make sure the children were following. As they reached the landing, she heard Mr. Lyman’s voice echo below.
“Dot! Dot, come quick!”
“Dot is his wife,” Bishop said as he turned in to the upstairs hallway. “She’s also the second biggest gossip this side of Julesburg.”
“Oh.” Lila wasn’t exactly thrilled by the information, but it wasn’t as if their marriage was a secret. “Who’s the biggest gossip?” she asked.
Bishop bent to set their bags down in front of room five. As he straightened, his eyes met hers. “Clem Lyman,” he said dryly.
“Oh.” That was certainly something to keep in mind, Lila thought as he unlocked the door. She’d have to be careful not to give the Lymans any more grist for the gossip mill than her mere presence had already supplied.
The rooms were as simply furnished as the lobby had been. A bed, a wardrobe, and a small dresser with a mirror atop and an uncomfortable-looking wing chair sitting stiffly in one corner. The decor was so plain, it bordered on the stark, but everything was clean and neat as a pin.
Bishop set the bags down at the foot of the bed in one room. Looking at Lila and the children, he felt a sudden sense of unreality. A couple of weeks before, he’d been a single man with no one to worry about but himself. Over the years, he’d managed to convince himself that the children were better off where they were, and he’d never expected to marry again. Yet here he was with a wife, two children, and a third on the way. The thought was enough to make his head spin.
“I need to check in with my deputy,” he said, looking at Lila. “I’ve been gone awhile and I’ll have some catching up to do. Will you be all right if I leave you and the children here?”
“I think we’ll be fine.” Lila glanced at Angel, who was leaning tiredly against her older brother, her blue eyes heavy with sleep. “I know at least one of us could use a nap,” she said with a smile. “And there’s plenty of unpacking to do.”
“I’ll be back around six and we can go down to dinner. Dot may only be second best when it comes to gossip, but nobody sets a better table, at least not around here.”
“That sounds nice,” Lila said dutifully. The truth was, now that she’d reached the marginal sanctuary of the hotel room, she wasn’t sure she had the courage to leave it again.
“Well, then, I guess I’ll be on my way.”
As Bishop moved toward the door, Lila was struck by an unexpected urge to grab hold of his arm and beg him not to leave her alone. He suddenly seemed like the only familiar thing in her world, the only tie to her old life. The absurdity of that thought stiffened her spine. She’d never been the sort to cling to a man, and she wasn’t going to start with this husband she barely knew.
“We’ll see you later,” she said as he opened the door. Bishop glanced back at her, touched his fingers to the brim of his hat, and stepped out into the hall. The door shut behind him with a quiet click. Lila looked at Gavin and Angel and swallowed against a wave of panic as she realized that she was alone with them for the first time.
“Well, looks like it’s just the three of us. Isn’t this nice?” she said with forced cheer.
Neither of the children offered a response to that. As well they shouldn’t, Lila thought, disgusted with herself. She’d sounded about as sincere as a snake oil salesman extolling the virtues of his product. Gavin was looking at her with the wariness that seemed to characterize all his dealings with adults. And Angel simply blinked sleepily in her direction and then yawned.
One thing Lila remembered from her own childhood was her utter contempt for insincerity. And no one could recognize insincerity faster than a child could. She sighed and looked at her stepchildren. Angel yawned again.
“Let’s get you into bed,” Lila said, using a normal tone this time.
“I’m not sleepy.” The token protest was punctuated by a yawn, and the child offered no real protest when Lila took her hand and led her to the bed.<
br />
“You don’t have to go to sleep,” Lila assured her. “Just lie down for a little while.” It was a stratagem she remembered her own mother using on her when she’d protested that she didn’t need a nap. It seemed to work with Angel as well as it had with her. Angel climbed up on the edge of the bed. Yawning, one hand clutching her rag doll against her chest, she stuck out her feet for Lila to unbutton her shoes.
“You and I will sleep in here,” Lila said as she unhooked the buttons and eased the little shoes off. "Your brother and Papa will have the room next door.”
“He said one room was for us and the other was for the two of you,” Gavin said from behind her.
Lila cursed the accuracy of his memory as she worked the buttons that marched down the front of Angel’s olive-drab dress. Over the last few days, she’d noticed that, while the children’s clothing was well made, it was also dull and nearly bare of trim. “After we’re settled, we’re going to have to see about getting you some new dresses,” she said, hoping to avoid Gavin’s comment. “Something bright and pretty.”
“I heard him tell Mr. Lyman that he wanted one room for him and his wife and the other for us,” Gavin said again.
“Did he say that?” Lila swept Angel’s dress off and draped it over the foot of the bed. The petticoats came next. Wearing her chemise and drawers, Angel crawled under the covers Lila turned back for her.
“I’m not sleepy,” she insisted, her eyelids already drooping.
“Fine. You just rest your eyes a bit and then you can get up.” Lila knew the child would be asleep almost as soon as her eyes closed. She brushed a golden curl back from Angel’s forehead, smiling a little at the innocence of her face. It was going to be very easy to love Angel, with her sunny temperament and sweet personality.
“You know that’s what he said.”
Gavin, on the other hand, was not going to be as easy to deal with. Lila straightened away from the bed and arranged her expression into a pleasant smile before turning to face her stepson.
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