by KB Winters
“You mad at me?”
I froze and looked over my left shoulder. “No, why would I be?”
“I said I would call and I didn’t.”
I knew he was a nice guy. “Don’t worry about it, I didn’t really think you would. No harm, no foul.”
He sighed and touched my shoulder, but he didn’t do anything to move me so I turned to face him. “Jana, shit. I had a really good time the other day and I went to bed and slept. Like I haven’t slept in a long damn time. But the next night, I felt guilty as hell about it and I slept for shit.”
“I’m sorry to hear that, Max. Want to grab a drink and tell me about it?” Where in the hell did that come from? I never extended offers to hang out with anyone. Not even Teddy, really. Unless it was at my house, or sometimes hers.
He looked as surprised as I felt. “Really? Because I thought you were pissed off.”
“I was annoyed but mostly with myself for thinking you’d call. And I can’t believe I said that out loud.” He chuckled and I felt slightly less embarrassed.
“Yeah, I think we do need to have a drink and talk. About a few things.” His gaze was determined and a chill shot through me at the intensity in his gaze. “Where to?”
“Follow me.” I didn’t feel like going to a bar, especially with a guy like Max. Everyone would stare and wonder why he was with me and I just didn’t feel like dealing with that tonight. Besides, I figured Max wanted to talk in private and my backyard was the perfect location.
It took the entire drive home to get my nerves under control. This was nothing but a platonic talk with a guy I met, it didn’t have to be anything more than that. I knew that, even if my silly heart wanted it to be more. I pulled into my driveway and his bike came to a stop beside me, pulling my door open. “Never heard of this place before.”
“Funny. This is my place. I figured we could use the privacy for our chat.” He gave me a funny look that made me smile. “Only to chat. Believe me, even if I wanted to I wouldn’t know where to begin seducing a guy like you.”
He laughed. “Sweetheart, I’m halfway to seduced just looking at the way you fill out your jeans.”
Well, shit. I felt my cheeks flush. “See, that! I wish I could just say something smooth like that. Damn,” I fanned myself and nodded for him to follow me. His chuckle sounded behind me and I was happy I wore my hair down so he couldn’t see my flushed skin. I kicked my shoes off and turned on the lights, trying hard not to think about what he thought of my place. It was decorated to suit me, comfortable and attractive. In the middle of the desert, my little place was country chic.
“Nice place. It’s very you.”
“Rustic?”
He laughed. “No. Understated but nice to look at.”
“You’re good.” I felt nervous but I walked through to the kitchen and flipped on the lights. “Tequila work for you?” I turned to face him, and dammit, again I was struck by just how handsome he was. He shouldn’t be, not with that perma-scowl on his face, but there was something about him that had my body acting like a dog in heat.
“Hell yeah it works.”
I grinned, pulling out two limes and slicing them onto a plate. I handed him a couple bottles of water and we went out to my yard. We sat in companionable silence for a while, both of us lost in our own thoughts.
“This is nice,” he said finally from the lounger to my right. Both of them were covered in paisley cushions with a table between them and about five feet away was a fire pit for when the desert nights turned chilly.
“Thanks.” I didn’t know if he would just start talking, or if he expected me to pull the info from him, so I poured two shots and sipped mine.
“I lost half my crew. We were on our way back from a mission and it was what it always fucking is, a damn roadside bomb. It was loud and I couldn’t see. All I could hear was the sounds of my brothers screaming in pain and gunshots. I got behind what was left of the transport vehicle and shot. I shot until I ran out of bullets and then I grabbed guns off disembodied limbs and kept shooting until someone came to save the three of us who remained.” He laughed bitterly, shaking his head, looking handsome in his moonlight anguish. “They gave me fucking medals for that shit, Jana. And I can’t stop thinking about it.”
I could hear the pain in his voice. “Tell me about them.”
“Who,” he barked out, frowning at me.
“The guys. Your brothers.”
“Why?”
I bit back a smile. “You’re very monosyllabic tonight. Because I’d like to know a little about the men who died to keep me safe.” That took all the wind out of his sails and he snatched the shot glass off the table, shooting it back like a pro.
He smiled as the memories came to him. “Jameson loved the Bulls. He grew up during the Jordan-Pippen-Rodman era and I swear that kid could tell you every moment of every game played. Garcia was first generation American but man he was proud of being Mexican. His abuela sent the best fucking salsa you’ve ever had. He made us all learn that Spanish Christmas song too,” he laughed and this time it was just a huff of amusement but it was peaceful. Reilly was a cowboy, from a big ass ranch in Texas and he would always talk about his favorite spot to sweet talk the ladies, overlooking a field of brown eyes Susan’s. Never even heard of them before him, but now I’ll never forget.”
I poured another shot into the empty glass he held, earning a grateful smile. “They sound like amazing men.”
“They were just my brothers. We all had a job to do and we did it as best as we could.”
“I’m glad you made it back.”
“Thanks,” he huffed out and leaned back, turning his gaze up to the stars. “What’s your favorite song?”
I laughed. “Free Bird. Yours?”
“Don’t have one.”
“Everyone has a favorite song.”
“I was out of the country for most of the last two decades, darlin’.”
“Right. Well then how about I put on some songs, jog your memory?” I opened a music app and let it play.
“I wouldn’t have pegged you as a classic rock girl.”
I shrugged even though he couldn’t see me and laid out in the grass, staring up at the night sky. “One of the first things I ever got that was mine, which was almost never, was a portable CD player. My case worker got it for me when I won the gold for Mathletes. It was used and there was one of those best of CD’s and it was classic rock. I loved it. It was gritty and it made me smile and I was hooked.”
Max laid down beside me and turned to me, I felt his gaze on me. On my right side. “Play some.” I did, starting with Free Bird. We let it play all the way through, but it was a live version so it was long, but I figured Max needed it. I don’t imagine it was easy talking about his friends, but I knew how much it could help.
“I like it. My ma used to listen to this. She loved Joni Mitchell and Fleetwood Mac.”
I grinned. “Landslide and Rhiannon are on my gardening playlist.”
“How’d you end up an accountant in Nevada?”
I sighed, and sat up to pour another shot for both of us. “Cheers.” We clinked glasses and I turned to my back and let the liquid slide down my throat. The stars twinkled beautifully. “My last foster family, Robert and Karen Sanborn were mostly good people. I thought Karen loved me, I’d been with them since I was twelve. But her husband Robert was a pervert. As soon as I turned sixteen, he started to follow me with his eyes and then literally. Then he tried to sneak into my room, but I would scream or knock things over because I knew Karen would come running.” She’d been the closest thing to a mother I could remember but it was all tainted by what came next. “I had a job doing data entry part-time because a lot of companies were working towards going digital and I worked fast and away from people. It was my last year of high school so I only attended half a day, coming home to change into business attire for work.” I sighed and picked up the bottle but Max’s big warm hand wrapped around mine. Held it within his.
“Robert was waiting for me that day. Karen wouldn’t be home for hours and it was the perfect time for him to get what he wanted. He stripped me down, cutting my school clothes off, my favorite Jim Morrison t-shirt. Anyway there I was, naked and fighting him back. He did not like that and pulled out his favorite knife. The one with the serrated edge.”
“Shit,” he groaned.
“Yeah. He tried to get what he wanted first, shoving his hand between my legs and sliding his fingers into my body. I squirmed, kicking and screaming and that made him mad. He picked up the knife and started at my eye and carved slowly in a jagged path down to my mouth. It hurt. I called 911 but passed out before they got there and woke up in the hospital.”
“Fuck. I’m sorry Jana. I’d like to fucking kill him.”
That made me smile. “You hold him down while I do the honors?”
“You got it, babe.”
“You’re a good guy, Max. I hope you know that.”
“I haven’t done good things.”
“You survived though. That’s hard as hell, and it’s the one thing people don’t tell you.” I worried so much about the pain of my scar that it didn’t occur to me to worry about how it looked until people looked at me like I belonged in a freak show. And no therapist, mental or physical, had prepared me for a lifetime of that.
“Yeah.”
The beginning strains of Rhiannon began to play and I stood with a smile. This night was too heavy and when would I ever have a guy like Max all to myself for an evening? Never. “Let’s dance. It’s the perfect therapy!” I bounced and swayed, letting the music move me as I pulled him to his feet.
He laughed. “You’re crazy.”
“Maybe. But sometimes you just have to dance your ass off!” I held his hands, twisting and bouncing. Twirling and doing a pretty bad job of finding a beat. But I laughed and he laughed, we both smiled under the moonlight and forgot all about the shit life had heaped on us.
After three songs my jaw cracked in a yawn and Max stopped. “I should get home.”
I could’ve asked him to stay, but it wasn’t a good idea. “Okay. Thanks for drinking and sharing your story with me.”
“Anytime,” he said in deep, sexy voice that made my nipples hard. I felt his gaze on my back as we walked through to the front. I turned at the door and he was much closer than I anticipated, giving me a chance to see the tiny flecks of green in his gray eyes. “Thank you for tonight, Jana. I like spending time with you.” His big rough hands cupped my face and slowly, his mouth found mine. His lips were soft but they moved sure and confident. His mouth felt like sunshine and heaven had a baby, making me feel warm and light and free. I gasped when his tongue touched my lips and he seized the moment, dipping into my tequila flavored mouth.
My hands went around his neck, loving the heat his big body emanated. I couldn’t help, in my tipsy state, but notice our differences. He was hard as stone everywhere I was soft. Where I was warm, he was scorching hot. I let my hands roam the width of his back as he explored the depths of my mouth, making my body quiver with tension. It was more than desire. It was white hot lust, emphasis on hot. I felt like I wanted to climb his body.
But he pulled back. “Damn.” A satisfied grin lit up his face.
“Indeed.”
He chuckled, pressed a short kiss to my lips and walked out.
Holy. Hell.
Chapter 5
Max
“So that’s the Cheese & Hearts platter with two types of wafers, the Six-ual Delights wine package with the Forty Days and Nights of Chocolates. Will that be all, sir?”
I sighed feeling like a goddamn fool, sending all that shit to Jana, but it seemed right. Hell, I wanted to. I hadn’t stopped thinking about that kiss. For two damn days I could still feel her plump lips on mine, the taste of tequila on her lips. On her tongue. I can’t remember ever being lit so quick by just kissing a woman. It wasn’t just kissing her though, the feel of soft, supple skin under my hands. She was such a fucking woman, so small and feminine that I wanted to sink into her and spend forever there. But I had to get to the club house. “Yeah, that’s all. Oh, wait, I want a card. I had fun. Max, that’s it.”
“Okay sir, thank you for your business. Have a good day.”
“Yeah, you too.” I stabbed the end button and grabbed my kutte and my keys. The Reckless Bastards club house was actually a converted hangar at the ass end of Mayhem furthest away from Vegas. We liked the tourist action, because tourists spent big bucks on grass and ass, but they were too damn curious about the outlaw life so for the past two years we did our business on the border with the town of Henderson.
For the first time in too long, a smile touched my face as I entered the hangar we’d busted our asses cleaning out and converting and turning it into multiple rooms. I walked in through the back at the long black leather bar where one of the prospects uncapped a few beers. “Hey Max!”
I waved at him and the Reckless Bitches perched on the bar, hoping today was the day they became someone’s old lady. A few of the old timers sat at the tables drinking, watching the Bitches and prospects play pool and foosball. “Hey guys.”
“Max! It’s about fucking time.” I turned at the sound of Savior’s voice. He was the Sergeant-at-arms for the club, and the craziest, happiest motherfucker I ever met.
“Savior, still rockin’ that mountain man look, I see.”
He scraped a hand over a full, chocolate beard and flashed a blinding smile. “The chicks love it, they think I’m a lumberjack and they can’t wait to climb my log.”
I laughed. “Crazy, bastards. What’s up?”
He shrugged. “I got some new guns and I thought maybe you wanted to play.”
“Fuck yeah, I do.” I fell into step beside him as we headed through what used to be the front door and out across the parking lot that still bore the signs for taxiing planes. A smaller building had been turned into a shooting range as a way to make use of all the land we got with the deal. And because we all fucking love our guns.
“I got about a dozen different autos and semis because dudes love coming in here to shoot’em, and they pay a fuck load of money for the privilege.” Savior grinned back at me as we walked through the main retail area and back towards the stalls. “I got a good deal on’em too. Gonna get the prospects to review’em later.”
I laughed and shook my head because it was typical fucking Savior. “You really missed your calling as a cutthroat businessman.”
“Nah. This way I get to make a ton of money without having the Man on my ass, and I don’t have to fucking shave every day.” He pulled out two pieces and we were quiet as we loaded them up and headed outside. “It’s perfect weather for shootin’.”
“Yeah.” It was nice out and after sleeping a full night, I figured it was time to see how it felt being behind a piece of metal again. Squeezing the trigger to feel the quick jerky motions of an automatic weapon felt like coming home. Five seconds in and I already felt like I never stopped shooting, and I hadn’t. Not really, but I had taken some time away from everything that reminded me of my past. This felt nice.
Until it didn’t. I set the piece down, unloaded, disassembled and cleaned it while Savior kept firing with a shit eating grin on his face. He whooped and hollered until he ran out of ammo, then he reloaded and started all over again. I watched him and the joy he seemed to have at something so simple and I envied that. “You want another weapon?”
I shook my head. “Nah, I’m happy to watch you shoot like a fool.” And I was. Happy to watch him and let my thoughts wander to Jana. Eventually I wandered inside when a few of the prospects came to test out the new hardware, the area got loud and raucous.
“Looks who’s returned to the land of the goddamn livin’!”
I smiled and looked up, way up and the biggest, baddest Army Ranger the world has ever seen. “Cross, what the fuck is up man?” I greeted our club President with a broad smile and a fist bump.
“Shit. Keeping the monk
eys in line. You look good man, glad to see you around.”
“Yeah,” I sighed. “I’m trying something different, so we’ll see how it goes.” I didn’t want to get into it, but I needed Cross to know I was working on my shit.
“Glad to hear it. There’s some problem with the baked goods vendor and I need you to deal with it.”
I nodded and headed to the office so I could take a look at what he was talking about. For the next few hours, I could admit that it felt damn good to get back into things, even if for just a little while. In the middle of arguing with the baker about their use of new ingredients, a text came in.
Thanks for the basket. Want to share it with me tonight? ~JC
I smiled. Big. “If you want to keep our business you need to make this right. I’ll give you a couple days to figure out how.” I hung up and sent a message back to Jana.
More than anything. Should I bring anything?
I held my breath and waited for her to respond. When she did, all the air sucked out of the room.
Just you. See you soon, Max.
Damn. And just like that I was hot and hard, and eager to see Jana. I moved like my ass was on fire, saving documents and writing notes for shit I needed to do tomorrow, or whenever I wasn’t so distracted by a curvy blond with kind eyes. Kind eyes? That was how bad she fucked with my head and had me saying shit like kind eyes. What the fuck does that even mean? Dogs have kind, soulful eyes. Not women.
I needed to fuck her. I wanted to bury my cock deep, lose myself in a soft, willing female like Jana. No, not like Jana. I wanted Jana. There was something about her, maybe it was her sassy mouth or the way she seemed to just get shit, that called to me. But I was too fucked up for more than a few nights of fucking, so what I needed was to satisfy my hunger, my lust and move on. Like always.
“Leaving already?”
I looked at Cross. “It’s handled and something came up.”