by A. G. Wilde
Geblit moved over to his hover car and took out a small package and a piece of transparent paper rolled up like a scroll. There was writing etched into it that she could not read.
“These are yours.”
He handed her the package, ignoring her confused stare.
“What’s this?”
“Your identification bracelet and the authorization deeds.” Geblit spoke as he reached over in his car for something else.
Nia blinked and her gaze flew to Lauren and Riv. Lauren shrugged.
“What?” she asked again. “I…I don’t have an ID bracelet.”
“Now you do.” Geblit finally found what he was reaching for and took it out. It was a small device that looked like a stapler.
He moved toward her. “Your wrist please.”
Nia shook her head. “I don’t understand. What’s this about?”
Geblit sighed, his eyes narrowing with boredom.
“Your identification bracelet. The one you get when you’re legally registered? No longer a refugee? A full resident of Hudo III with equal rights.” His bored look didn’t change. “Surely you know what that is. That other troublesome human has one.” He jerked his head at Lauren.
Nia’s eyelids fluttered as she blinked at him. “I know what it is, but I don’t have…” Her gaze moved to Riv.
“Did you have something to do with this? This doesn’t have something to do with what happened a few weeks ago, right? I told you guys it was okay… You didn’t have to…”
But the confusion on Riv’s face made her words stop in her throat.
Riv’s eyebrows moved a little, his frilli scrunching up as he frowned. “I’m just as confused as you are.”
“Sohut?” she asked.
Riv shook his head. “He would have said something.”
“Then who…”
“Don’t tell me he did not tell you he was giving half of his assets to you.” Now, Geblit looked annoyed.
“Who?” They echoed each other as they all focused on Geblit.
“Ka’Cit Urgmental.”
Nia’s heart beat so hard in her chest she was sure it imprinted into her skin.
Did she hear right? “What?”
Geblit squeezed his eyes shut. “He came in some time ago and filed the documentation. I am surprised he didn’t tell you about it, considering the…extent of the filing that had to be done.”
Nia blinked. “He paid for me?” Her voice was but a whisper and the package and paper that she held in her hands trembled a little as her fingers shook.
“He paid for your freedom,” Geblit corrected. “Now—”
The green alien reached forward and grabbed her wrist so fast, she had no time to respond.
Next, all she felt was a dull pain on her wrist.
Nia stared at her wrist as he let her go, her eyes widening with every second.
Before her eyes, the tattoo was etching across her skin. A tattoo just like the one Lauren had.
Geblit whipped a thin transparent disk from somewhere and placed it underneath her mouth.
“Please deposit your DNA sample.”
“I don’t understand…” Nia blinked at the tattoo.
Lauren and Riv still looked just as confused as they glanced at each other.
Geblit huffed out a breath.
“You open your maw, deposit your fluid on the disk.” His eyes narrowed at her as if she was being an idiot. “And don’t get any of your fluids on me, I beg.”
“No, I mean, I don’t understand all this.” She gestured at the tattoo and the papers I her hand. “Why would Ka’Cit do this?”
“And why did you have to come out here to complete the registration?” Riv growled.
Geblit huffed out another breath and his hand fell with the disk still held between his fingers. “Because of the sheer amount of assets being transferred.”
“What?” they all asked.
“Ka’Cit Urgmental’s estate is…considerable. You receive half of that.”
“What do you mean considerable?” Nia could hardly breathe.
“Considerable enough that an official had to travel out to the middle of nowhere to hand over the papers to you,” Geblit quipped.
Nia began shaking her head. “I can’t…I can’t accept this.” Her gaze met Geblit’s and now he looked confused. “You have to take it back. I can’t…take this.”
“And why the phek not?” Geblit’s eyes narrowed once more.
A soft hand tugged on her arm and she realized Lauren was pulling her to the side.
She was so weak, she went without protest as Riv and Geblit began to converse.
“Did you know he was going to do this?” Lauren whispered.
Nia shook her head. “No idea. I…I don’t understand why. Has he contacted Riv since he brought me back?”
Lauren shook her head. “No.”
“I can’t accept this.”
Lauren gripped her arm tight. “Yes, you absolutely can.”
Nia blinked. She hadn’t expected that response.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean,” Lauren’s gaze became pointed, “blessings are sometimes disguised. And this is a blessing. You will be free. Truly free. You can’t give that up.”
Nia shook her head again. “You don’t understand. How can I accept such a huge gift from…”
“From a stranger?”
No.
But she couldn’t find the right words.
Or, rather, she didn’t want to say the words that came to her mind.
How could she accept such a gift from a man who hadn’t spoken to her in weeks? Who hadn’t called to say even hello?
Who seemed to have forgotten about her, but probably hadn’t because he’d fucking paid for her “visa”, so to say?
But most of all, how could she accept such a huge gift from the man she loved but who had made it clear he didn’t want anything serious.
The man she loved…
Her heart ached.
She’d fallen for him and till that moment, she hadn’t admitted that to herself.
All these few weeks of aching, of hurting, of wanting, of yearning…it was all because she’d fucking fallen in love with him.
A myriad of emotions swelled within her.
Geblit raised his voice. “Will you be giving me that sample or not? I need it for the registration.”
Nia shook her head. “No.”
Geblit looked surprised. “No?”
“No,” Nia repeated and began walking away. Her chest was heaving and her breath was beginning to come hard as if she was stuck in a small dark space.
“Well, I guess you can come in and deposit the sample yourself at some other time,” she heard Geblit murmur as she hurried away.
She just needed a place to think by herself and maybe things would make sense.
41
Things didn’t make sense the next day…or the day after that.
Actually, instead of things becoming clear, they only became more confusing.
Each hour that went by drew another unanswered question till her nights were filled with her staring into the darkness, unable to sleep as her thoughts plagued her.
At least, in the daytime, she could push her thoughts aside and focus on work.
Still, that didn’t get rid of the seething underneath her skin.
Nia grabbed the shovel as she entered the tilgran enclosure. Morpheus dipped his head, trying to nuzzle her, but Nia shrugged him off.
“Not today, Morpheus. I’m not in the mood.”
The tilgran raised its head and looked down at her.
Nia ignored the animal and began shoveling the waste, dumping it in the bucket near her feet.
Every shovel-full received a glare and every scrape of the shovel was fueled by the anger burning like a fire within her.
How dare him.
How dare him!
She wasn’t some charity case, if that’s what he saw her as.
She might not have much, b
ut she was willing to find some way to pay for herself in this new world.
She hadn’t needed his charity.
Grabbing the bucket, Nia exited the enclosure and slammed the gate shut.
The bang echoed across the Sanctuary and when she turned, she almost bumped into Riv.
Gripping the bucket in her hand, Nia didn’t pause. She simply walked around the male and headed toward the fruit field.
It wasn’t the others’ fault, her current mood, but she couldn’t help it.
She didn’t want to speak to anyone and she didn’t want them trying to talk her into accepting this overly generous gift.
For it was very generous.
Generous enough for Riv to almost fall out of his seat when he’d opened the paper and read it.
Apparently, Geblit hadn’t been joking when he’d said Mr. Ka’Cit Urgmental had considerable assets.
He was wealthy…and now half of that wealth was hers.
Suddenly, she’d gone from having nothing to owning more than Sohut and Riv combined.
It didn’t feel right.
What had she done to deserve it? Nothing.
And therein lay the basis of the anger riding through her veins.
She didn’t deserve any of this.
She hated him.
Nia stopped walking at that thought. Her shoulders tensed and she gripped the bucket tighter.
No.
She didn’t hate him.
She hated herself.
This anger was because of her.
She hated the fact that she’d let the short time she’d spent with him get into her head so much.
She hated that she couldn’t accept the fact that he had already moved on.
But moved on from what?
They hadn’t actually said they liked each other or anything remotely close to that.
It was all emotions, nothing concrete, and when had she ever let emotions rule her life?
Her heart wrung and the anger swelled within her.
She’d wanted to join the army. Her emotions would have been useless then, ripped to pieces, shredded and buried before she’d gone on the battlefield.
Even as a nurse, her emotions also had to be shredded and buried before she treated a patient.
Emotions were useless.
So fuck him!
She spent the next few minutes dumping the waste at the roots of the trees and trying to calm her mind before she headed back toward the main buildings.
A sigh left her body as she took a moment to set the bucket down and lean against one of the hay bales.
The sun was going down and the sky was slowly turning purple.
Far above, she could see a few stars already twinkling.
It was going to be a calm night.
If only she could sleep.
“Nia?” Nia jumped at Lauren’s voice. She hadn’t heard the woman approach.
“Hey, Lauren.” Nia forced a smile and Lauren’s eyes softened.
“You okay? Riv said you still seemed upset.”
“I’m fine.” She forced another smile. “I really am.”
Inside, something within her withered.
She knew she was throwing an adult tantrum but the whole Ka’Cit situation just made her mad.
He made her mad.
Lauren came to stand close by her and leaned against the hay as they turned to look at the setting sun.
“I was angry at Riv at one point, before we…got together. I wanted to pull his hair out. Hell, I wanted to kick him in the balls a few times.”
Nia’s eyes darted to her friend. “Wha—”
That was hard to believe. They were so in-love and good together.
“They can be stubborn sometimes. Set in their ways. Even when they know deep down that you’ll be perfect together.”
Nia began shaking her head before Lauren could continue. “This isn’t about me and Ka’Cit getting together.”
Lauren smiled then. “Who said anything about Ka’Cit?”
Realizing she’d just been cornered, Nia could feel her cheeks warm.
“You shared something, didn’t you?” Lauren’s gaze travelled over the sky and Nia was happy for the lack of eye contact for she was sure every raw emotion was playing out over her face. “Out there. You shared something.”
For a few moments, Nia didn’t reply.
“It was nothing.”
Lauren scoffed. “I think you know that isn’t true, or else his absence wouldn’t be affecting you like this.”
Nia opened her mouth, but Lauren continued. “And no, don’t deny it. I know what someone in love looks like. I see it every day when I look into Riv’s eyes. I see it in the way Cleo and Sohut look at each other…and I see it in you.”
“Wha…” The denial was already on her tongue but one glance at Lauren, at the soft, knowing smile on her face, and all Nia could do was sigh.
“Is it that obvious?”
Lauren shook her head. “No. At first, we thought it was the strain of what had happened to you out there. But then…when Geblit came with the registration document it became clear.”
“I hate him.”
Lauren laughed a little. “Who? Geblit? He’s a character all right.”
Nia shook her head. “No. Ka’Cit.”
“No, you don’t.”
No, she didn’t. She already knew it was herself that annoyed her the most.
She’d just admitted that fact a few moments before.
Nia hung her head. “I just don’t understand why he would do that for someone he doesn’t want anything to do with.”
Lauren’s hand rested against her back. “Did he say that?”
“No, but he didn’t have to. I thought I understood it, why he left like nothing happened between us, but then he goes and gives me half of everything he owns. I don’t get it. What does he want?”
“Maybe he wants you…”
Nia shook her head. “I don’t think he wants a relationship.”
“You’re wrong.” Riv’s deep voice made Nia jump and she realized at the same time that Lauren wasn’t surprised by it. Apparently, she’d gotten used to how he and his brother walked silently, even outdoors.
“What do you mean I’m wrong?”
“What you just said. You’re wrong. A relationship is the one thing Ka’Cit has always wanted.”
Something clenched inside Nia and she had to swallow hard as a ball of emotions rose into her throat.
“So…just not with me then…” She fought to push her emotions down.
It was fine.
She was a big girl.
But Riv only shook his head. “I saw the way he looked at you.”
Nia shrugged and choked on a mirthless laugh. “This is all just confusing. I mean, when someone ghosts you, it usually means they’re trying to turn you down easy without having to actually say it.” She shook her head again and turned to walk toward the house. “Don’t worry, guys, it’s ok. I’m okay. And thanks…thanks for trying to cheer me up.”
She took a few steps toward the main residence before Riv’s voice caught her ear.
“He doesn’t think he’s worthy of a mate.”
That made her pause.
“What?”
Riv growled and let out an exasperated breath. His gaze fell on Lauren and he studied her for a bit before letting out another breath. “He’s…even worse than me…my…deficiency.”
Nia’s brows furrowed. “I don’t understand. What deficiency?”
Riv’s gaze darted away and for the first time since she’d been on the Sanctuary, Nia saw the vulnerability in his eyes.
“Riv’s tail,” Lauren whispered as she wrapped her arms around her mate.
Nia’s gaze fell to Riv’s torso. That’s right. He had no tail. It had been removed long ago by some evil slave owner.
She remembered Lauren had mentioned Riv’s reluctance to be with her because of his lack of a tail, among other things.
In Merssi culture,
they seemed to place high value on the males. Females were cherished and the males had to be perfect specimens.
But this didn’t explain anything. Nia’s brows only furrowed more. “Ka’Cit has a deficiency?”
For the life of her, she couldn’t think of what that was.
She’d seen him naked and he was perfect.
Confusion swam in her eyes as Riv raised a hand and pointed to his forehead.
For a moment, she didn’t understand what he was pointing at, but then realization dawned.
“He is smooth-faced,” Riv said.
Nia blinked.
Yes. Yes he was. She’d noticed that but she hadn’t thought it was a big deal.
“What does that mean?”
Riv shifted uncomfortably on his feet.
“It is not my place to say but if you ask any other Merssi, they will tell you. The smooth-faced are never to form a mate bond.”
“Why?”
Riv’s gaze fell on Lauren and then to her baby bump. He reached forward, resting his palm on his mate’s growing belly.
“Because they cannot create this. It is impossible for him to bear young.”
Nia blinked at him. “Ka’Cit…he can’t have children?”
Riv’s face was solemn as he shook his head. “His seed lacks a chemical females need. The frilli,” he touched the series of bumps along his brow, “indicate how potent that chemical is. Ka’Cit…he has no frilli. He would be thought of as unworthy by any female.”
Nia blinked again. “But I don’t think he was a virgin…”
In the past, she’d have blushed at talking so openly about her sex life but at the moment, she didn’t care.
Her curiosity was too strong.
Riv shrugged. “Females may use him for fun, but none would form a mate bond with him. He is…broken. Unfit.” He paused. “Unsuitable.”
“Like hell he is.” Her response seemed to startle Riv but her heart was beating so hard in her chest now that adrenaline was coursing through her veins.
The way he said those words gave her the impression those were not his thoughts but the way his people saw his friend.
Ka’Cit couldn’t produce children…
If that was the reason.
Nia closed her eyes. “Why didn’t he tell me…”
Her eyes were still closed when she heard Riv respond. “Telling the one you want the most that you can never give them the life they deserve…it isn’t easy.”