by Mia Moon
I tucked my hair behind my ears and smiled. “Why would I be scared?”
“Most women can’t handle all of us,” Alex responded. The way he said it seemed to carry more meaning, but I didn’t catch it.
I tilted my head.
“You should definitely hang out with us more often,” Josh added. “Diffuse the testosterone. Plus having you around will probably keep Alex and Nathan from bickering like children.”
I laughed. “Some rivalry there?”
“It’s not a rivalry,” Alex interjected, his russet-brown eyes twinkling. “Just friendly disagreement regarding the fundamentals.”
“Of hockey?” I asked.
“Of everything,” Josh said before Alex could respond.
I heard the bathroom door creak open and peered around the corner. “I should go check on Ken.”
“Wait.” Alex stepped in front of me as I went to leave. “You said you wanted to get out more, right? See what was beyond downtown?”
“Yeah.”
He gestured to Josh. "Come hiking with us sometime?"
“Hiking?” I glanced between the two men. “In this weather?”
"Yeah. And it’s supposed to warm up. But you should bundle up, California girl.” He grinned adorably. “There are some easy trails that stay open year-round.”
Last night I’d mentioned that I wanted to get away from the computer and spend more time outdoors. I was surprised they’d even remembered, between the joking and the dozens of wings. “That sounds fun. But won’t you guys be too busy?”
“We’ll be free Sunday afternoon, if you are.”
Getting to know the guys seemed like a great idea, so I nodded. And it wasn’t like I had a full social calendar.
“Sure. Let’s do that then. Uh… I guess I’ll text you when the team gets home Saturday?”
“Sure.” Alex stepped aside and let me pass. “By the way, I’m about to make breakfast. You like scrambled eggs?”
“Scrambled eggs? That sounds awesome,” I breathed. My stomach growled, agreeing with me.
“They’ll be here when you’re ready,” Alex promised.
“This was under my pillow somehow,” Ken said holding out my bra and shooting me a conspiratorial smirk.
I snatched it from his hand and eyed him suspiciously. “Somehow?”
He shrugged.
“Turn, please.” I twirled my finger.
He covered his eyes with a hand while I quickly donned the bra and readjusted my shirt.
“Done,” I called out. “Thanks.”
“Eh. You looked better before,” he teased.
Rolling my eyes, I sighed. I was sitting on his bed and he was leaning against his dresser, and we were both avoiding what we needed to discuss. I’d never been the best at starting awkward conversations, but breakfast was waiting, and then the guys would all leave for practice.
“Did you mean what you said last night?” I asked. “About wanting to be more than friends?”
“I did.” His brow creased, and his joking expression became serious. “By the way things were heading I thought you were feeling the same way.”
I looked down and fidgeted with the blanket. “Yeah.” I shook my head, tired of reverting to the shy girl I spent most of my life running away from. “Look. I’ve always wanted to be more than friends with you. Probably from the first day we met. Last night was a dream come true. Which is probably why I didn’t want to have sex.”
“That’s okay with me. I can take things slow. What’s the problem?” he asked.
“Why now? And what does it make us? I mean… do you even have time for me?” Before I said it aloud, I hadn’t really thought about it, but I meant it. Ken lived a crazy busy life and I couldn’t see myself always having to wait around for him.
“When you contacted me last year it was like being reminded of a part of myself I’d lost. Honestly, I was surprised at how much you’d changed yet you were still the same in the ways it mattered. It’s like you became the best version of yourself, and I felt at a loss for not being around for that.”
“Ken…”
“I don’t play around. I used to, but I got tired of that life. If you want to try this, I’m all in.”
I looked up at him.
He’d crossed his arms and seemed to be studying me. “My schedule’s busy, but if it’s meant to be, and everything works out, you’d never be alone. I promise.”
“But how… I mean, you travel more in a month than I have in my entire life.”
He nodded. “I know it doesn’t seem to make sense, but trust that I wouldn’t want you to be hanging around an empty house.”
“That’s a hefty promise.”
“I know. And I also realize this is probably happening too fast. I thought I could keep my cool a little longer.” He grinned and his eyes raked over my body with a heated gaze. “You bring out the horny teen in me. It’s not cool, but it’s the sad truth.”
I ran my hands through my hair and tried not to hyperventilate. My dream guy, the one I’d pined over for years, wanted to be with me. Wanted a serious relationship with me. Yet I was hesitating. Why?
Because I was no longer the desperate math geek. Part of me was proud of myself. The other part wanted to drag Ken to bed and ride him until all my pent-up lust was a distant memory, consequences be damned.
“It really is fast,” I said finally.
“Take the rest of this week, the weekend, I guess, think about it?” he asked. “And know that I’m not going to drop our friendship if you decide you don’t want to try. Granted, I probably won’t give up that easily, but I won’t wreck everything just to get my way.”
My upcoming date with Nathan loomed in the back of my mind, pushing its way forward. It gave me an idea. “I will think about it, but also, maybe we should have a real date?”
“Of course. I guess… Sunday night? That’s the soonest—”
“Uh, Alex and Josh wanted to go hiking that day, but I guess we’d be done by night.”
He arched a brow and I wondered if I had overstepped. What if he wanted me to be friends with his teammates, but not actually hang with them? I prepared for a jealous fit.
A little smile played on his lips. “Okay, yeah. You’ll like that. I’m not the hiking type, but they go nuts for it. I’m sure wherever you go you’ll be back in time for dinner.”
It seemed a little odd that he was so casual about me going hiking with Alex and Josh. I assumed most guys in his situation would be a little jealous.
“Hey, why didn’t you tell me that you guys all lived together?”
Ken’s brows knitted together. “I thought I did. Didn’t I? On chat? Or at the restaurant last night?”
I shook my head.
“Weird. I guess I somehow assumed you knew. They love you, by the way. And I’m glad they do.”
There wasn’t a trace of jealousy in his voice. Maybe I’d found the most enlightened hockey player in all of America. I grinned at Ken, then walked to where he was standing.
“Can I get a hug?” I whispered.
He wrapped his muscular arms around me. “I thought you’d never ask.”
Chapter Five
I stared off into space while I marched in place two feet from my desk. I’d buried myself in work all day since coming home from Ken’s. My legs felt numb and my eyes were red and felt like they’d been scrubbed with sandpaper.
Mercifully, the company I worked for finally caved and hired a second designer, another remote hire. The new guy would be my assistant eventually. For now, he had to prove himself. Until then, it was me and the screen for long hours at a time.
In all, great news. My job became a little easier and I could tackle my goals. As far as my professional life, everything was awesome.
On the personal front, however, I was already second-guessing everything.
Two handsome men wanted to hang out. Or date. Or…something. Wait. No. Four handsome men, if you counted Josh and Alex. But were they dates? N
o. They were just buddies. I was one of the guys to them. Ken’s friend.
But what if Ken wasn’t cool with me going on a date with Nathan? I didn’t owe him anything, but still.
What if Nathan wasn’t cool with me kissing Ken, and then sleeping in Ken’s bed—even if no actual penis in vagina action happened? Although Nathan and I weren’t a couple and I didn’t owe him anything, either.
Nothing like this had even remotely happened to me before. There was absolutely no overlap in my past dating life. How much information did I owe each guy?
So perplexing.
I wasn’t anyone’s girlfriend and there were no dates completed so far, so why was I worried? That ugly possibility of jealousy between the men kept rearing its head. If none of them knew each other, I wouldn’t be this worried.
But what if I was one kiss away from ruining their friendship? The very thought of that made me uncomfortable.
Over the course of the previous night, I'd learned that Alex and Nathan were friends since freshman year in high school, and they’d met Ken and Josh in hockey camp.
That was a massive bond to toy with. But what were my options? Blow off Nathan before our first date by telling the truth?
Sorry, I’ve just always wanted Ken and now I have a chance at him?
That hardly seemed fair. Plus, I was intrigued by the dark and broody-looking Nathan.
“It’s like every wish I ever made came true, with the worst timing,” I said to my ceiling.
A chime sounded, and my phone vibrated. I pressed the screen.
“Hello?”
“Violet?” It was Nathan.
Speak of the devil. “Hey, there. I was just thinking of you. What’s up?”
“Good thoughts?”
I grinned at the wall. “Very good.”
“That’s what I like to hear. Thought I’d give you a call and confirm our plans, unless you’re busy.”
I sat at my desk and stared at my computer screen. His voice was so freaking sexy. “I’m free.”
“Work’s coming along okay?”
“Yeah. Still have a lot to do today but I’m chugging along.” I closed my eyes and imagined his unusual green-gold eyes. Both and Ken and Nathan had stunning eyes. Ken’s was like staring at a Colorado sky in winter, on the first sunny day after a blizzard. Nathan’s were like a panther’s.
Of course, Alex’s brown eyes were warm and kind. And damn, Josh’s green ones were the color of rare sea glass.
I groaned to myself. Not a great sign to be thinking about all four hot guys at once. “How’s your day so far?”
“Busy. But I had a minute to call. About our date, I thought we could meet up before dinner and walk around downtown. Look at the shops.”
“Perfect.”
“There’s a row of restaurants and I’d let you take your pick.”
I scrunched my face, glad he couldn’t see me. “I hate to say this, but I am notoriously bad at picking where to eat. What I think sounds good is never what I end up wanting once I have a menu in front of me.”
He chuckled. “Okay, I’ll decide after I’ve walked you to near exhaustion up and down the cobblestones. You’ll eat or die.”
“Deal.” I grinned at my monitor.
Nathan appeared at four, on the dot, as promised. I’d only been waiting a few minutes outside the shop we chose as our meeting spot, but in truth I’d been so paranoid about arriving late I’d already spent fifteen minutes pacing the block.
I lived nearby, but I wanted to give myself plenty of time. Stranger things have happened than me taking more than twenty minutes to walk a five-minute distance.
I pulled my hand through my tangled brown waves, trying to fix what the breeze had ruined. I’d attempted to curl my hair, and now it looked like a windblown mess. Nathan looked pulled together. His dark hair was tousled from the walk, but in a casually messy way. And I’d like to mess it up even more, truth be told.
He had a hunter green sweater on under a brown leather coat and dark jeans. As handsome and sexy as I'd remembered.
He gave me a quick hug, pressing his solid frame against mine and making me swoon. “You look gorgeous,” he said, scanning me up and down. “I might just have you for dinner.”
I tried not to smile at his cheesy line.
“Too much?” He cocked an eyebrow.
"Nope. I'll give a B for effort and an A for delivering it without seeming creepy." I giggled.
He took my hand and looked me in the eyes, leaving me breaths under his gold-green stare. “I’m off my game, but the night is still young. I’ll make it up to you.”
I nodded and glanced around. “Where to first?”
“The knickknack store,” he said guiding me forward. “Don’t ask, I want you to be surprised.”
As we walked I searched the large window displays, wondering what he meant. After a few minutes, he pulled open a glass set of doors and ushered me into a shop the width of an alley.
The heat of the interior made me pull off my wool coat, and while I did that, I tried to take in the wall-to-wall assortment of trinkets. Everything from tiny ceramic frogs to large open-faced clocks decorated the store.
I leaned over and peered at small owl whose eyes were magnifying glasses atop a body made from assorted bolts.
“Knickknacks,” I whispered softly.
“Everything you could ever never need, all piled into a cozy shop,” the shop owner announced cheerily from behind the counter. “Let me know if you need any help.”
I waved to the owner and nodded, speechless.
Nathan followed me as I moved in slow motion through the shelves, examining, touching, and studying at what I found. A rabbit made of cogs and small copper pipe segments caught my eye and I inspected it for several minutes.
I didn’t own anything like this, or like anything in this store, for that matter. My apartment was clear of clutter and I preferred it that way. I was a minimalist. But one little rabbit wouldn’t make a mess of things, would it?
I moved along and sifted through a basket of handmade beaded dragon key chains. “I never would’ve guessed you’d bring me to a place like this,” I said over my shoulder.
“Really? It seemed like the best place to start a date with an artist,” he replied.
I shrugged. “Maybe. I guess I’m not used to being considered an artist. Most of what I do is on the computer, and it’s treated like something else entirely.”
“Does that mean you’re not enjoying it here?” he asked poking the side of a contraption that seemed to be a steampunk-themed business card holder. Everything in the store seemed to have a steampunk vibe, with cogs and wheels and timepieces. Interesting.
“No, I love this. It’s like someone’s imagination exploded, and I get to sift through the pieces.”
There was something inspiring about the shop’s random assortment. My mind swam with innovative ideas I could incorporate into my game project, and I tried to jot everything down in my mental notebook. Maybe I’d come back here alone.
Then it hit me. “You know, I don’t live far away but I’ve never been here. I need to get out more.”
He shot me that panty-melting smile. “I’m glad you like it. We’re just starting.”
Chapter Six
I scraped the last bit of creamy strawberry cheesecake from the plate and licked my fork clean.
“This was amazing,” I purred. “I’m usually not a cheesecake person. What do they put in this? Some sort of addictive substance?”
Nathan smiled at me, his eyes flitting to my lips, making me wonder if I had cream on them. I licked them and he grinned. “I have no idea. I just know it’s the best in town for a reason. And I’ll know what to get you for your birthday dessert.”
I put my fork down and sighed, content. “I don’t think I’ve ever had a date this perfect. It’s gonna be hard to top.”
“Yeah?” He reached across the table and took my hand, his fingers curling around mine. “That means you want to d
o this again?”
During our time together I’d been asking myself that, over and over. Was Nate a better match for me than Ken? The chemistry was definitely there. Holding his hand felt meant to be, and unlike Ken he wouldn’t be jetting around the country half the year.
“I think so, except one thing.” The one thing that had been bothering me from the beginning. “Why didn’t you tell me you were friends with Ken when we first met? You acted so cool when I said I was there to see him, and since everyone else knew about me, didn’t you too?”
Maybe I should’ve let it slide, but it felt weird. He nodded slightly, and his thumb traced a slow circle over the back of my hand.
“I didn’t want to come across as a creep,” he said carefully. “Yeah, Ken’s mentioned you more than once, but when I sat down next to you I had no idea who you were. I honestly ended up by you because you looked cute and lost.”
I ignored the compliment, sweet as it was. “Coincidences happen, you didn’t have to hide the truth.”
“I know. It was nice to get to know you as a stranger. I wanted to avoid everything seeming one-sided. I didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable. I wanted you to talk about yourself and just… see what would naturally happen.”
I searched his expression and words but found nothing but honesty. Put that way I supposed I could excuse the lie of omission. But talking to him made me realize something I’d missed before—to Ken’s friends I was just a girl.
If he had intentions of forming a relationship with me, wouldn’t he have told the men he considered his brothers how he felt, given that he’d told them other things? They knew about our past in high school and they knew random facts about me, so why wouldn’t they know if he had feelings? Or did guys not talk about that kind of stuff?
Maybe they didn’t.
Still, the guilt I felt for seeing Nathan slipped away. He had no idea what Ken wanted any more than I did.
“Do you forgive me?” Nathan asked.