You can say all those things.
The other prisoners are here with their own families.
They wouldn’t listen to us when they had such a finite amount of time to listen to the people they loved.
I opened my mouth to blurt a billion things at once. To tell him just how desperate I was to fix everything I’d done wrong.
However, Larry saved me from tripping over myself with inappropriate nonsense. “I’m in the process of finding out when your hearing will be. I’ll get it fast tracked as quickly as I can.”
Penn nodded, keeping his thoughts about that hidden. “Thank you.”
“Anything you need? Anything you think will benefit me in overthrowing this?” Larry pulled out a legal pad, ready to take notes.
Penn snorted. “Apart from getting Arnold Twig on the stand and interrogating him with hard evidence of his tampering with my life? Nope.” He leaned back in the chair. “Talk to Gio. See if he’s had enough and is ready to throw Sean under the bus. He was coming around to the idea the last time I visited him. He agrees it’s fucking stupid to serve time for a crime that he only did on Sean’s encouragement.”
That reminds me.
Talking about Gio poked awake all my questions, making them buzz like angry bees. “Why do you have Gio’s license in your safety deposit box?” The sentence splattered against the table with an offending command.
I hadn’t meant to say it with no lead in or kind words.
Whoops.
Penn stilled, his eyes narrowing on mine. “You went through the box?”
I jumped, lies sprang to spill.
No, of course not.
I would never.
But I was sick of lies.
Truth only from now on. “Yes.” I took ownership. “Every piece.”
His lips ghosted a smile. “And?”
“And?”
“You want to know why I have Gio’s license.”
I nodded. “Yes.”
“Anything else?”
I frowned.
Penn leaned forward, toying with me in his sexy, cocky way. Even trapped in here, he still captured me with every look and word. “You must have other questions, apart from Gio.”
My heart turned into a hot piece of coal, desperate for the prison to vanish and a bed to miraculously appear so I could torture Penn with kisses to tell me the truth. Or let him torture me with them while telling me anything he wanted.
I licked my lips, my body heavy and wanting. “I have so many questions. We’d be here until next year if I asked them all.”
His nostrils flared, hearing the sex in my voice. “I don’t care if it took ten years.” He switched to an intoxicating whisper. “But not in here. It fucking kills me to see you in here.” Pain cloaked him as if remembering to cover his emotions from the harsh elements of incarceration. “If I’m being honest, I didn’t want to see you today.”
I flinched as if he’d slapped me. “What? Why?”
Larry sighed, understanding when I didn’t, allowing Penn to enlighten me.
The intensity between us hummed as his gaze dropped to my lips then back to my eyes. He throbbed with frustration but most of all embarrassment.
His voice snapped, “Because I don’t want you seeing me like this...” His sudden temper couldn’t hide his anger. “It isn’t a good place, Elle. Having you here? It fucks me off all while making me so damn grateful that you’re willing to step foot inside just for me.”
He scrubbed his forehead with both hands, hiding behind his palms for a second. Inhaling hard, he murmured, “I fucking hate all of this and most of me wants to tell you to leave and never come back, while the other part wants to beg you to stay so I don’t have to be so goddamn alone. It fucking hurts that in a few minutes, I have to watch you walk away and I’m not allowed to go with you.”
He shook his head, a slave to his own crippling rage. “Goddammit, I feel like I’m going to explode.”
Larry looked around stealthily, vibrating calm. “Just keep it together for a little longer. You know the deal. Don’t do anything to warrant longer sentencing.” His face turned full of encouragement rather than pity. “Don’t worry about Elle. She’s here because she wants to be. Don’t deny her the right to see you.”
My throat swelled with so many things. I barely managed to breathe with the paralyzing need to touch him. To take away his pain, his loneliness, his entrapment. I would give anything to stay with him—regardless of where we were.
To realize that I would willingly trade my rich little life for a world of threadbare sheets and plastic furniture made me understand just how far I’d fallen with no comprehension of what I’d done.
He was hurting because of me. And I couldn’t do a damn thing to help.
My hands balled as I said, “I don’t care where you are, what you’re dressed in, or what you say. I want to be here because you’re here. Don’t make it sound like I’m not strong enough to be here for you.”
Temper I kept wound tight unspooled. “This isn’t about you anymore, Penn. This is about you, me, Larry. Us.”
His back turned ramrod straight. “Us?”
“Us.”
“Even after everything I’ve done?”
“What about everything I haven’t done?”
We sat staring, breathing, understanding the weight of our own admissions. He’d made me pay. I’d given him a reason to. We both suffered for it.
Penn leaned forward, placing his hands on the table. His voice was dark and raspy, filled with fervor. “I like that word.”
Almost unconsciously, I mimicked his position, placing my hands so close but not close enough to his. “What word?”
He glanced subtly left and right, checking where the guards were. Then, with his eyes capturing mine, he ran his pinky over my thumb, sending an electric fire bolt down my finger up my arm and directly into my heart. “Us. It gives me something to fight for.”
That one simple touch made me wet in an instant.
I trembled, eyes hooding. “Please...”
Us was a word connected to love, companionship, and family. Please was a word belonging to a request, a plea—a blatant demand for connection.
I hadn’t meant to moan it.
I didn’t mean to press against his fingers as if he could take away the unbearable desire in my blood with a simple touch.
But he felt too good.
Too real.
Too warm.
Too Penn.
All my remaining questions evaporated as he stroked me again, breathing, “Fuck, I want to kiss you.”
Larry cleared his throat in warning as a guard looked over at us. He didn’t care how passionate or reckless this conversation had become. He allowed Penn to sweep me away and believe for just as second we weren’t in a prison, we weren’t facing separation, we had all the time in the world to talk and build a bridge over the whitewater of our past.
Penn licked his lips as I ran my finger along his.
I completely forgot Larry sat beside me as I moaned, “I’d give anything to kiss you.”
That one piece of honesty allowed the rest to flow unhindered.
We tumbled over each other as I said, “I’m so sorry for not believing in you, Penn. There’s no way you could’ve been anyone else. I hope you can forgive me.”
While he said, “You hurt me, Elle, but fuck if I don’t care anymore. The past few weeks with you...I want more. I want to tell you who I am. All of it.”
Tears sprang to my eyes. “You go.”
“No, you.”
We laughed, our hands inching tighter, brushing pinky to thumb.
“Hey!” A guard pointed at us. “No touching.”
I yanked my fingers back but couldn’t swallow my smile. “We’re going to get you out of here. And then we’ll talk.”
“Then we’ll do a shitload more than just talk.” He smirked a little; moving from intense connection to lighthearted joking, a genuine smile breaking his lips. “Going bac
k to my safety deposit box. I always knew you were nosy.”
I laughed softly. “Only where you’re concerned. And only because you never tell me anything.”
“He’ll tell you now, though, won’t you, Penn?” Larry asked, deadly serious, reinserting himself into the conversation. “Just like you’ll tell her the reason why you have Gio’s license is because you’re listed as his next of kin and agreed to keep his possessions safe.”
Larry turned his black-rimmed glasses onto me. “Gio and Penn have become friends thanks to me taking custody of Stewie. It was complicated for a while, but we’re all on the same side now.”
I liked how he barely knew me, but he was on my side as much as he was on Penn’s. I’d never met anyone so unbiased and willing to trust than him.
Penn’s forehead furrowed. “I know that must sound idiotic seeing as Gio hurt you that night and I roughed him up pretty good. But we’ve shared the same upbringing too long to turn away when the other needs help.”
I blinked away the memories of my clothes being torn in the alley. “I agree. Enemies can become friends. Sometimes, they make better friends as you know the worst.”
Penn shrugged. “I suppose.” His features shadowed, thinking of things that left a strain around his eyes. “A couple of years ago, I was your enemy.”
My heart skipped unhappily. I had no idea what he meant. “You were?”
His desire to talk faded. He reclined in his chair, hiding everything I needed to know. “Shit, I have so much to tell you but I can’t do it here.” He kicked the table leg, making it rattle.
A guard pointed at him in warning. “Quit it or you’re back in your cell.”
Larry rolled his eyes. “Plenty of time to talk later. Don’t get yourself riled up.”
Penn raked both hands through his hair. “This place makes me insane.” Stark panic filled his brown gaze. “How long, Larry? How fucking long do I have to keep everything bottled up so I don’t screw myself over even more?”
Larry consulted his notepad, void of scribbles but filled with whatever processes he’d already put in place. “You know I can’t give you a time. I don’t like dangling promises because they hurt like hell when they don’t come true.”
“I know.” Penn sighed. “Fuck.” His shoulders tightened, masking the truth that he was nervous and had no one else to trust but us. Trusting someone and then trusting someone were different things. He had no power over what we did on his behalf. He merely had to let Larry arrange dates and file paperwork while I went after Greg and fought for his assurances that he’d retract his statement and redeem himself by doing the right thing.
It was heartbreaking as well as chilling to play God with another’s life.
Penn gave me a sad smile, wordlessly apologizing for ruining the remaining time we had left.
Larry took over, murmuring about strategy and evidence.
Penn and I never took our eyes off each other. Desperately aching, constantly seeking for a way to erase this mess and be together.
The thirty minutes went far too fast, and it physically killed me when a bell rang and the inmates said farewell.
No hug.
No kiss.
Nothing but a tear-filled grimace as Penn disappeared all over again.
* * * * *
“Ms. Charlston! Over here!”
Stepping out of the correctional facility, I found a sea of reporters, cameras, and microphones angled toward me instead of a clear path leading toward the black Range Rover and my trusty bodyguard.
What the hell?
Larry instantly covered my face with his briefcase, wrapping his arm around me as he guided me toward David who leaped out of the Range Rover, barreling through the reporters to get to me.
Wrapping me in his protective embrace, David glowered at the churning body parts in our way. “Leave!” he boomed, protecting my other side, marching with Larry as we bulldozed through the paparazzi.
They side-stepped to avoid being run over but it didn’t stop their probing questions.
“Ms. Charlston. Are you in a romantic relationship with Penn Everett?” a young man shouted.
“Are you having an affair with Greg Hobson?” a middle-aged woman with blue-rinsed curls yelled.
“Do you think it’s appropriate for the owner of such a prominent retail store to be dating two men at once? Both who are in jail, no less?” a male reporter with a squeaky voice asked.
Each question I cowered a little more.
Oh, my God, how did they hear?
Who leaked? Who tattled?
“No comment,” Larry snapped, keeping his briefcase obscuring my face. “Go away.”
I kept my head down as David opened the back door to the Range Rover, giving me shelter to hop into.
Larry jumped in too, not bothering to call his Town Car.
The questions kept plowing through the windows. Questions I had no answers to. Questions I should’ve been prepared for thanks to my high-society position, and how juicy my tale would be the moment the smell of controversy arose.
Right now, I was considered top news.
Penn’s background would be dug up. Mine would be plastered beside his. Greg’s actions would be known nationwide.
Oh God, Dad is going to flip.
The pandemonium of journalists brought everything home.
How deadly serious all of this had become.
How far we still had to go before it would be all over.
Exhaustion pressed me into the soft leather seats as David honked the horn and took off, barely giving the reporters time to jump out of the way.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Penn
DINNER WAS YET another sad affair of under-cooked potatoes and over-cooked beef.
At least this time, no one tried to talk to me. I’d earned a reputation over the past couple of weeks that I was a loner with history. I had respect because some old timers remembered me from my previous stints, but I had a mystery that newbies wanted to ruffle up and put me in my place.
I’d avoid all confrontation as long as I could, but eventually, something would snap, and I’d be in the middle of a war I didn’t want.
Yard time after Elle and Larry left ensured I could run off some of the stress of seeing them. I’d fucking promised myself I’d deny visitation if they came. But that was before the temptation and overwhelming desire to see Elle overrode my common sense.
I’d braced myself for pity or loathing in her gaze, looking at me in my prison uniform. I waited for hesitation about her feelings for me, or the awful condemning admittance that she couldn’t handle this.
But she hadn’t done either of those things.
She’d watched me as she always did—as if she wanted me to jump on top of her and fuck her in terribly dirty ways. She listened to me as if I meant something. She spoke as if this was personal, and she’d have my back all the way. She touched me as if she cared for me despite everything I’d done.
It didn’t escape me the way Larry looked at her. He was proud of her. Shit, I was proud of her. It made me wade through guilt that I could ever think she was a spoiled brat. Sure, I knew how hard she worked now. I understood that Belle Elle wasn’t given to her or that she coasted through life on a trust fund. She worked her fingers to the bone. And she was strong—so fucking strong.
Why did I ever doubt she would fight for me if I’d given her the chance?
I’d had everything so wrong.
Assumptions had sure made an ass out of me and look how fucked I was. If I’d just knocked on her door that night, we might’ve avoided this whole disaster. Greg would never have thought he stood a chance with her because I would’ve claimed her.
I would’ve ensured she was mine just like the necklace I’d given back to Stewie was hers.
I was a moron back then, but I wouldn’t be a moron now.
She wanted me? She had me. Because, Christ, I wanted her.
Tonight was TV night for the guys in my block. A lot m
ingled, not really listening, playing cards or placing bets on events they’d never be able to pay regardless of winning or losing—unless it was with things gained from inside.
Rubbing my face, I forced my body to let go of the lust Elle had created. Unsuccessfully reminding myself that Elle and I wouldn’t be fucking for a long time to come. Celibacy was the new rule in our relationship. Which made it so goddamn hard as I wanted her so bad.
I needed her even worse.
I needed her to lie to me for a change and tell me this would all go away and I’d be free again. I needed her to touch me and tell me she’d wait for me no matter how long it took, even while I pushed her away so she didn’t waste her life alone.
I scoffed at the thoughts, hearing the truth behind them.
She didn’t need to touch me to assure me she’d wait for me—I saw her loyalty in every blink and heard it in every vowel.
And she didn’t need to lie about my freedom.
I would get it back.
Eventually.
Larry was fighting for me. He’d win.
He has to.
There was no other scenario I could accept.
Stretching out my legs with ankles crossed, I did my best to unwind and watch the men around me—taking note of their weakness and strategies, cataloguing who to chat with versus those to stay away from.
I had to be smart and play a long game even if I hoped I’d only endure a short inning.
The sound of a car horn wrenched my head to the TV where local news was playing.
My chair legs screeched on the linoleum as I sat up and scooted forward.
Elle filled the screen.
A blurred photo of her climbing into the Range Rover with David and Larry doing their best to obscure her. They couldn’t hide the tangle of pretty blonde hair or her sexy body, though.
I’d recognize her anywhere.
The news anchor in her bright red suit droned, “Today, a name that is normally reserved for retail news has been dragged into controversy with the recent love triangle. According to sources, Noelle Charlston, who is the head of the family’s empire Belle Elle retail chain, has been dealing with a few unusual matters of late. Things haven’t been smooth sailing for the young CEO ever since rumors began of her engagement to Penn Everett.
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