Losing Faith
Page 20
“Never.”
“What do I do?”
Cullen pulled Abel close to him, took Abel’s right hand in his left, and wrapped his right arm around Abel’s waist. “Just follow my lead and get lost in the music.”
Abel rested his head on Cullen’s shoulder and closed his eyes. He felt Cullen’s muscles moving, contracting and releasing, guiding him, and after a few minutes, he was following Cullen effortlessly as Cullen turned him and swayed. Before long he was lost in the music. Lost in the man that was Cullen Kiley.
“I love this,” Abel whispered. “I get to hold you and be close to you just like when we’re in bed. Shoot, it’s almost as good as having sex.”
“Seriously?”
“I said almost. Now shut up and spin me again.”
“You sure are a bossy back lead.”
Epilogue
CULLEN LOOKED up to the sky and let the warm spring sun beat down on his face. He and Abel had been back in P-town just over a month, and today was Easter Sunday, his first official Sunday leading the mass at the Church of Saint Mary of the Harbor.
Since their return Abel had already met with the Bishop and the Diocesan on Ministry to start the process of becoming an ordained Episcopal priest and was scheduled to begin his continuing education in two weeks. Until then, he would act as a deacon of the church and learn as much as he could before his formal education began.
This, of course, was only the first step for Abel. He was learning to truly accept himself and his ability to serve God in a welcoming and nonjudgmental environment. Cullen could already see subtle changes in Abel’s self-esteem and the way he was beginning to come to terms with and move past his childhood and his issues of abandonment and self-worth.
With each passing day, Cullen fell a little more in love with the man who’d saved him and wholeheartedly supported him in whatever direction he chose to take with his calling. But more importantly, Abel seemed extremely happy to be embarking on this journey with Cullen beside him. They had become a true team in every way.
Cullen was a nervous wreck pacing outside on the church steps, wondering if his parishioners would truly embrace him and welcome him back or simply go through the motions.
It had taken him and Abel weeks to write his first sermon, and it centered on the hypocrisy of the clergy. But more so about his hypocrisy—the loss of love, grieving, giving up on life and God, and then when he least expected it, finding love again and being, in a sense, reborn.
It was literally his and Abel’s story in a sermon format, and there were just as many of Abel’s words in the lesson as his. He loved it even more because of that. Cullen hoped the sermon would help explain some of the reason he’d had to leave the church so abruptly.
Some parishioners knew, of course, but others had no clue, nor did the newer church members, so it was make-or-break time. But all Cullen could do was be honest and heartfelt, and in doing that he would have to wear his heart on his sleeve and give them everything he had to give. If they didn’t accept him back, he would move to another church, knowing he’d given it all he had.
Cullen heard the processional music and took his position at the rear of the church behind the acolyte carrying the cross. He followed his cue and made his way slowly down the aisle, listening to the magnificence of the pipe organ, nodding and smiling to familiar faces, but mostly just taking it all in.
The church was decorated with thousands of spring flowers, so colorful it almost hurt the eyes, and the sun was beaming through the stained-glass windows behind the altar, sending rays of additional colors streaming through the entire church. In that very moment, he wondered how he could have ever left something so beautiful. Something he loved so much.
When the procession stopped, Cullen knelt to give thanks and then proceeded to his position behind the altar. He stopped and glanced out over the church and the congregation. Abel was proudly seated in the first row, next to Elaina, and Cullen’s eyes suddenly filled with tears. Through his tears he saw the shadow of Cole sitting on the other side of Abel, smiling broadly. Before he could find the words to speak, the entire church rose to their feet and started clapping.
Cullen wiped the tears away with his robe. He went to Abel, offered him his hand, and led him to the front of the church. The two men stood with the entire congregation applauding them. When the applause was over, Cullen pulled Abel into a tight embrace and whispered into his ear.
“Now we are home.”
More from Scotty Cade
Angus Conrad (Gus) McRae is a privileged Charlestonian following family tradition and attending the Citadel, harboring big dreams of a military career. With the infamous Hell Week behind him, he quickly realizes being a Knob (a freshman cadet) is just as tough—especially for a man like Gus who must keep his sexuality a secret. Then a sudden dorm reassignment lands him with a roommate in the form of one of the football team’s top players—working-class jock Stewart Adam (Sam) Morley—and life gets increasingly complicated.
Gus can’t imagine a man like Sam as gay, yet there’s something between them—exchanged glances, the occasional innuendo. Sexual tensions rise, leaving them more than friends but less than lovers. Gus and Sam know there’s too much to lose and they must keep their attraction hidden. If they fail, they risk destroying their hopes and dreams for a prosperous future in a military world that’s not yet ready to accommodate masculine gay men.
Leeland Jeffers is a contented single man with a thriving career in Atlanta. He’s had a few unsuccessful relationships over the years, but no one has even come close to his first love, Harrison Rhinehart. They met in college when a mutual friend, Suzie Garrison, introduced Harry into their close-knit group. When the supposedly “straight” Harry made a move on Lee, the two men entered into a tumultuous secret love affair. In their senior year, the relationship finally ended when Harry informed Lee he was marrying Suzie.
Since graduation, the college friends have drifted apart. However, an unexpected invitation to a destination wedding seems set to reunite them all. Lee’s speculation on whether Harry and Suzie will make an appearance threatens to derail his attendance. But Lee decides the hell with it and makes plans to go, Harry Rhinehart or no Harry Rhinehart.
When hunky aspiring country singer Billy Eagan heads to Nashville in search of his big break, a relationship and love are the furthest things from his mind. Taking a foreman’s job at the Lazy H ranch and not knowing how he will be accepted, Billy decides to fly under the radar and stay as closeted as he can without denying who he really is. It’s immediately confirmed that he made the right decision when he discovers homophobia is still alive and well in Tennessee.
Then Billy gets his break and meets gorgeous record label executive Ian Dillon. Their worlds collide both professionally and personally, and Billy falls hard. But Ian is still haunted by the mysterious betrayal of his one and only lover, and knowing Billy possesses the power to emotionally destroy him, Ian decides to cut his losses and simply walk away. Determined not to give up on the man he loves, Billy secretly starts to unravel the past and quickly finds that it’s not what it appears. Can Billy rescue Ian’s heart, or will bigotry and hatred win over love?
After one very long tour of duty in Afghanistan and an honorable discharge from the USMC, Elijah Preston comes home to nothing. He barely scrapes up enough money for a cheap motel in Quantico, Virginia, with no money-making opportunities in sight. A chance encounter in a local Walmart finally gives Eli hope for employment. Elijah is ready to sign on with Royce Mackey’s proposition... until he hears what’s required. Royce operates a gay military porn site and wants Eli as his next star, never mind that Eli isn’t gay. Desperate and broke, Eli grudgingly accepts Royce’s offer and soon finds himself immersed in a strange new world.
Hamish Turner’s been there before. Taking Eli under his wing, he teaches him everything he can about Royce’s operation. The two quickly become friends, easing the way for their first scene together. Awkward at first, they both ease in
to it and find there is more of a connection between them than either expected. Curious to see where their mutual attraction takes them, they begin a relationship off-screen. But life gets complicated when a crazed fan of Hamish’s starts sending threatening letters demanding the scenes between the two men stop. Or else….
Bissonet & Cruz Investigations: Book One
When valuable Civil War era art is stolen from a popular New Orleans gallery, NOPD Lead Detective Montgomery “Beau” Bissonet and his partner set out to solve the crime. When the gallery’s insurance company sends Tollison Cruz to the Big Easy to conduct their own independent investigation, personalities clash and battle lines are definitely drawn.
The heist quickly becomes a politically driven high profile case, and Detective Bissonet is furious when he’s ordered to work along side Investigator Cruz to assure a timely arrest. The heat index soars to new levels when the two investigators discover they have a lot more in common than originally thought.
With the tension between them temporarily sated, Bissonet and Cruz finally start to work together, on more than just a professional level. But everything comes to a screeching halt when Beau discovers his cohort in crime has been withholding information regarding the investigation and has been concealing a very questionable past. What happens next rivals the scorching summer heat.
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SCOTTY CADE left Corporate America and twenty-five years of marketing and public relations in 2004 to buy an inn & restaurant on the island of Martha’s Vineyard with Kell, his husband of over twenty years.
He started writing stories as soon as he could read, but only in the last five years for publication. When not at the inn, you can find him on the bow of his boat writing romance novels with his Shetland sheepdog, Mavis, at his side. Being from the South and a lover of commitment and fidelity, all of his characters find their way to long, healthy relationships, however long it takes them to get there. He believes that, in the end, the boy should always get the boy.
Scotty and Kell are avid boaters and live aboard their boat, spending the summers on Martha’s Vineyard and winters in various locations down south.
Website: www.scottycade.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/scotty.cade
Twitter: @ScottyCade
E-mail: scotty@scottycade.com
By Scotty Cade
Acting Out
Forever for Now
Knobs
Losing Faith
The Mystery of Ruby Lode
Sunrise Over Savannah • Chasing the Horizon
An Unconventional Courtship • An Unconventional Union
BISSONET & CRUZ INVESTIGATIONS
The Royal Street Heist
Veiled Loyalties
FINAL ENCORE
Before the Final Encore
Final Encore
After the Final Encore
LOVE SERIES
Wings of Love
Bounty of Love
Treasure of Love
With Z.B. Marshall: Foundation of Love
Published by DREAMSPINNER PRESS
www.dreamspinnerpress.com
Published by
DREAMSPINNER PRESS
5032 Capital Circle SW, Suite 2, PMB# 279, Tallahassee, FL 32305-7886 USA
www.dreamspinnerpress.com
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of author imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
Losing Faith
© 2016 Scotty Cade.
Cover Art
© 2016 Reese Dante.
http://www.reesedante.com
Cover content is for illustrative purposes only and any person depicted on the cover is a model.
Photos of Southport, North Carolina, by Scotty Cade.
All rights reserved. This book is licensed to the original purchaser only. Duplication or distribution via any means is illegal and a violation of international copyright law, subject to criminal prosecution and upon conviction, fines, and/or imprisonment. Any eBook format cannot be legally loaned or given to others. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without the written permission of the Publisher, except where permitted by law. To request permission and all other inquiries, contact Dreamspinner Press, 5032 Capital Circle SW, Suite 2, PMB# 279, Tallahassee, FL 32305-7886, USA, or www.dreamspinnerpress.com.
ISBN: 978-1-63477-210-5
Digital ISBN: 978-1-63477-211-2
Library of Congress Control Number: 2016901592
Published June 2016
v. 1.0
Printed in the United States of America
Table of Contents
Blurb
Dedication
Preface
Southport, North Carolina
Epigraph
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Epilogue
More from Scotty Cade
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About the Author
By Scotty Cade
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