Quik scanned the card. “You guys have fun.”
“Wait.” Lux shoved her glasses up her nose. “What do you mean?”
“I mean have a good time.”
“You aren’t coming?” she asked. Oliver’s hands dropped to his sides.
“There’s too much to do here and not enough time to do it in,” replied Matthew.
“You make time for what’s important, Matthew Quik.” She worked to keep the censure out of her tone.
“A party is not important.”
Oliver’s chin dropped to his chest, and it was all Lux could do to keep from sweeping him up in her arms. “It is important. It’s a family tradition. We did this every year until Frost was in eighth grade.”
“What, the biggest Christmas party in the world isn’t enough for you guys?” He placed a hand on the ladder.
“Uncalled-for.” Lux put her hand on her hip.
Matthew lifted both hands in the air. “You’re right. Sorry.”
“So you’re coming.” She stated the information. She wasn’t going to ask him again. “And we are all wearing matching costumes—Oliver gets to choose the theme.” She nudged his shoulder. “What do you want to be for Halloween?”
He finally lifted his chin off his chest. “A pirate,” he whispered.
“Avast, ye matey. Pirates it is.” This earned her a smile from Oliver. “Come on, Grandma is waiting for you, and I’ll bet the last stop on her route is the cookie oven.”
Oliver made a dash for the door. “Bye.” He waved and was gone.
Lux folded her arms and glared at Matthew. “You didn’t handle that very well.”
He stared at the ladder. “I know. Believe me, I know.”
“You need to get excited about what he’s excited about. Get into his world.”
Matthew rubbed his forehead. “Lux, one imaginary world is enough for my life, okay?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I live at the North Pole. I’m building a substation for Christmas Magic. I flew a sleigh. There are days when I forget that there’s a real world out there with real problems.”
“We have real problems.”
“Name one.”
“A son who hungers for his father’s love.”
Matthew rocked back. “I love him.”
“It’s not enough to feel it—you have to show it.”
“Fine.” He hitched up his tool belt. “What do you want me to do on top of everything else I’m already doing with half the awake time you get?”
Lux bit back the fact that she spent half her awake time taking care of their family. Washing clothes, cleaning up the apartment, playing with Oliver. “Take over reading his bedtime story.”
“Fine.”
“And you’re a pirate for Halloween.”
“As long as I don’t have to wear makeup or a wig.”
“Fine.”
“Fine.”
“Fine!” She marched back to the crane, and Matthew climbed the ladder. Inside the cab, nothing felt right. The seat was hard. The air was stuffy. Her hair kept getting in her face. She’d gotten what she wanted out of the conversation, but she didn’t feel satisfied. It bothered her that Matthew didn’t want to go to the party or dress up—even after it was clear that they were doing this for Oliver. She would swim across the Atlantic for that kid, and technically he wasn’t even hers.
A sick feeling swirled low in her belly. Matthew was bound to her by vows and the Magic welcomed Oliver into the family, but there were no guarantees the two of them would stick around after Christmas. The way Matthew obsessed about finishing the substation made her wonder if he was counting down the days till he was set free.
She pressed her fist into her stomach. She didn’t want either of them to leave. But what could she do to keep them here?
Nothing. They weren’t tied to Christmas, and Matthew was still closed off.
She rubbed her hands up and down her arms, trying to brush away fear’s icy grip.
Chapter Thirty-Six
54 Days until Christmas Eve
“I don’t see why I have to wear a mask.”
Lux bit back her groan. Getting Matthew to participate in anything that wasn’t related to building the substation was harder than two-year-old caramels. She stepped back to examine his costume. Instead of going with a traditional pirate or Peter Pan/Captain Hook ensemble that would have required a wig, she’d chosen Dread Pirate Roberts/Sweet Wesley: all black clothes, flowing sleeves, and the open collar. Dang, but his chest, visible in the deep V, was something to behold.
“It’s part of the costume.” She swallowed the euphoria that threatened to bubble up any time she let herself focus on him for more than thirty seconds. “But your beard is pirate enough if you’d like to leave the mask behind.” She used her messenger bag to conjure up a bowl full of Halloween candy.
He rubbed his jaw. “My beard looks like a pirate beard?”
She nodded, her eyes roaming all over his costume—from the thick black boots, up the black pants fitting just right in all the right places, to his trim waist and the black leather belt that matched the cord hanging around his neck. They crossed his broad chest and shoulders and settled on his neatly trimmed beard. “Captain Hook ala Once Upon a Time.”
“Is that a good thing?”
Lux held her breath. She couldn’t count the nights she and Stella had stared at the large television, transfixed as Hook swept Emma off her feet over and over again, wishing he’d run those pirate fingers through her hair. That image brought up the image of Matthew taking her in his arms, his hands in her hair; it had her skin tingling as if charged with static electricity. If she wasn’t careful, her hair was going to lift into the air like she was holding a static filled balloon. She frowned. Quik’s costume was a bad idea. A very, very bad idea. “It’s fine.”
She adjusted the wide belt accentuating her waist and holding a plastic sword. Her black Santa boots made the perfect pirate boots. Who knew? Long, gray sleeves came to her elbows and flared wide. She wore several chains of pearls around her neck in different sizes and large hoop earrings. “Oliver is going to love it.” That’s it, keep the focus on the kid.
Oliver was still in his room with Frost, who was putting the finishing touches on his costume. Since Lux and Quik spent so much time installing the current transformers this week, she’d barely had time to pull something out of her bag for the two of them. She could work alongside him, avert her gaze, and make sure their skin never made contact, and the pounding desire for him stayed under control.
Having Oliver around helped too. He was the perfect interruption to every conversation, the excuse to leave the room, and a nice little wall between them. He was also a fantastic kid who soaked up the love and attention she and her family dished out like Halloween candy.
“You can handle one night in costume. Even the elves are dressing up.”
“Yeah, because pointy shoes with bells aren’t costumes,” he grumbled.
Lux laughed, and their eyes met, sending sparks out of her fingertips that connected to his. Or maybe they’d met in the middle. She schooled her feelings. He’d caught her off guard. What really worried her was how easily she’d flipped from being in control to out of control. But then, there was that sense that they’d both created magic. She hardly dared hope he was falling in love with her, and yet the hope was there, glowing in her chest like a furnace. A future together was possible; love beyond this Christmas was attainable. She wanted to twirl and spin.
There was a knock at the door and a group called, “Trick or treat!”
She flung it open, grateful for the distraction, to find Ginger and Layla dressed as a queen and princess respectively. Ginger’s gown was gold with delicate beading in the shape of snowflakes. The flakes started small and got bigger as they tumbled down the dress.
Layla’s dress was pink—of course. She had on a simple tiara and a dusting of glitter on her cheeks. She held out her pink purse. “
Trick or treat, Auntie Lux.”
Lux smiled so hard her nose wrinkled. “Happy Halloween, Princess Layla.” She dropped a piece of chocolate in Layla’s purse. “Where’s Joseph?” If Joseph didn’t wear a costume, there was no way Quik was going to leave the apartment in his, and Oliver was counting on them going together.
“I’m here.” Joseph stepped into view, and Lux bit her cheek to keep from laughing. She was sure there was never a more uncomfortable Cinderella’s Prince Charming on the planet. He wore the white pants, white shoes, and a red coat with the white and gold sash. His face was almost purple with embarrassment. Ginger’s eyes pleaded with Lux not to say anything that would make this harder on the man who was being a very good sport for his wife and niece.
“Happy Halloween, Joseph. You look quite …” Awkward. “Dashing.”
“That’s what I told him!” Ginger grinned.
“Thanks,” he muttered.
“Do you guys want to come in for a minute?” The plan was to trick-or-treat their way to the family room where Mom and Dad had set up carnival games for everyone. Frost made costumes for the kids, sewing as she read letters. Robyn dipped apples, pressed cider, and fried doughnuts. Stella decorated between shifts in toy-making. The production schedule was much busier than it had been just fifteen days ago. They were on target, and as long as the magic continued to flow at a steady rate, they’d be fine.
“Sure.” Layla ran straight for Oliver’s room and pounded on the door. “It’s me!” she yelled into the crack.
Matthew leaned close enough that she could smell his pine forest and frosty scent. Her knees went wobbly. “Okay, it could have been worse,” he mumbled as he discreetly pointed at Joseph, who tugged at his collar.
Lux lowered her lashes in an effort to veil the desire she knew shone through. “Wait till you see Frost,” she replied.
Oliver’s door burst open and Frost stepped out. She’d dressed as Sandy from Grease with the poodle skirt and high ponytail. If she had a boyfriend, he would have been in black jeans, a leather jacket, and pomade greasing his hair. “Presenting the terror of the high seas, the Dreaded Pirate Oliver.”
Oliver came out grinning. His smile ruined the scary pirate look, but everyone ooohed as if he were terrifying. Even Matthew. Which was a good thing, because Oliver’s eyes were glued to his father, begging for approval.
Lux held her breath, praying Matthew would know the right thing to say. He’d been distant with his kid, and she could feel Oliver’s hurt. She’d explained that it takes time for people to relax around one another, but kids didn’t get that. They made best friends in ten seconds—accepting everyone.
Matthew smiled softly and shook his finger at Oliver. “Listen to me, young man.”
Oliver’s smile faded.
“There will be no making your cousin walk the plank.” Matthew wagged his finger.
It took Oliver a couple seconds to catch on to the fact that Matthew was playing with him. “Arg!” he agreed. “The princess goes free.”
Ginger swung the door open. “How about we break out of the brig and get us some candy.”
“Yeah!” Layla charged through with Oliver on her heels.
“Wait up.” Joseph darted after them.
Ginger rolled her eyes. “Like I could run in gold slippers.” She lifted her hem to reveal the most delicate kitten heels made of gold.
“They fit!” Frost clapped her hands. Her yellow poodle skirt swished as she followed the kids.
“You know, if we really were pirates …” Matthew quirked a devastatingly handsome eyebrow. He should really put on the mask.
Lux hated when they were left alone. She stepped into the hallway where they were in full view of the trick-or-treaters and several elves dressed as Star Wars characters carrying pillowcases. “You’d steal her shoes?” She looked up just as he shut the door and glanced down.
His eyes dropped to her lips. “Among other things.”
Peanut brittle.
“Dad!” Oliver ran right into his legs. “Look at the chocolate eyeballs Stella gave me.”
“Chocolate eyeballs, really?” Lux folded her arms as Stella approached. She was dressed in a prison outfit, complete with a ball and chain attached to her foot.
“And jelly brains.” Oliver giggled.
“Come on, Captain.” Robyn held out her hand. “I heard one of the elves set up a haunted house a couple doors down.”
Lux grabbed Robyn’s arm and gave her a warning look. She’d finally gotten Oliver to sleep through the night. He’d had nightmares about the car crash for weeks.
Robyn laughed. “Totally kid-friendly—I promise.”
“We’ll come too.” Matthew fell into step behind her.
They walked together without brushing against one another or having to actually touch. They spoke mostly to Oliver, who lapped up having them all in the same place at the same time. Still, the invisible current that had burst into existence—created by the new hope that the two of them could one day soon share their love—tickled her skin.
Before they entered the family room, Lux paused. “You did good back there, Matthew. With him. You should know that.”
“Thanks.” He looked everywhere but at her.
“You know …” She’d been bothered by something he said before. “There are kids all over America trick-or-treating tonight in the real world.” She put quotes around the last two words.
“Yeah.”
“The same thing we’re doing here.”
He laughed and shook his head. “It’s not even close to the same thing.”
“It is.” She cocked her hip.
“It’s not, but it’s cute that you think so.” He reached up to pat her arm, but pulled back at the last second.
Lux glared. “I don’t see how this isn’t real to you.”
“Because there’s no heartbreak, there’s no pain, you all don’t even get sick.”
“After all this time you set yourself apart from the magic. At first, I thought you didn’t believe hard enough, but now I think you believe you’re above it somehow, like it’s a child’s toy you’ve outgrown.” Lux pressed her hand to her throat as it threatened to close off with emotion.
“I believe in the magic. I’ve seen the magic. But this isn’t real life, darlin’. This is fairyland.”
She stepped away from him, from his harsh tone.
The hallway dusted with silence as everyone from Kringle to elf to Timber the dog turned to watch the two of them argue. Thankfully, Oliver was still in the haunted house and oblivious to their disagreement.
Matthew glanced around the room while avoiding eye contact. “I can’t pretend there aren’t problems in the world.”
Lux kept her back to her family. She didn’t want to see the accusation in their eyes. She’d brought a man who could see the magic and still locked it out of his heart. “That’s not what we’re about. We don’t pretend there isn’t evil in the world, you—” She scrambled for a nasty name to call him that wouldn’t upset the children. “Jacob Marley!”
His forehead wrinkled.
She rolled her eyes. “The ghost of Scrooge’s partner who comes back rattling his chains.” She shook her fists in the air. Hearing chains, she flipped around to see Stella shaking the ball and chain hooked to her ankle. “Thanks,” she told Stella, before turning back and poking Matthew in the chest. “He was as unredeemable as you.”
He pointed to his chest. “Unredeemable? I’m here, aren’t I?”
Understanding cracked over her head like an egg, the knowledge dripping and gooey. “You’re not here because you want to bring joy to the world and fight against the forces of hate and envy and malice, which is what we do.” Not to love me. Not to do good. “You’re not even all the way here. You’re keeping one foot outside the cave in case you have to make a hasty exit.” She lifted her chin and glared. She’d thought the sparks were going both ways, that the magic arching between them meant he was falling in love with her, too.
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He folded his arms and sealed his lips. His lack of denial was as good as a confession. Kringles couldn’t lie, but they could keep silent.
She reached into her bag and pulled out a manila envelope, which she thrust at his chest.
“What’s this?”
“The world thinks Matthew Quik is dead. Those are birth certificates, Social Security cards, a driver’s license … everything you’ll need to start a new life under a new name as soon as the substation is done.” Even as she stood there, her hand trembled with the desire to snatch the envelope away.
“Lux!” Mom exclaimed.
Lux couldn’t turn from Matthew. She had to see his reaction, had to know if he wanted to leave.
“What about us?” he asked quietly.
“You tell me.” She threw the weight of confession back at him. He met her gaze, and she tried desperately not to let her breaking heart bleed through.
He didn’t say anything.
She couldn’t stand there, staring into Matthew’s eyes, and say goodbye. “Tell Oliver I said good night.” She lifted her skirts and hurried back to their apartment, sure that no one in history had done so much damage to Christmas as she had in the last five minutes.
She shut herself in her room and hugged a pillow to her chest. Maybe she was just as selfish as Matthew, because even though she knew this was going to cause problems, every tear that fell was for her own unrequited love.
A few minutes later there was a light knock on her door. Lux pushed her face deeper into the bedcovers. “Go away!”
The door opened. “Is that any way to speak to your mother?”
Lux found herself in her mom’s hug. She sniffed. “I’m sorry I ruined Halloween.”
Mom handed her a small package of tissues. “The kids are completely unaware.”
“Thank goodness.” Lux blew her nose and then tossed the tissue into the garbage. “I don’t want them to go.”
“That’s not what it sounded like to me.” Mom tucked Lux’s hair over her shoulder. “It sounded like you were pretty set on sending Quik away.”
Marrying Miss Kringle: Lux Page 17