by J. M. Walker
“Yes,” I licked my lips. “My love.”
“Good girl.” Coby moved around the bed and grabbed my hands before pulling me to the edge. Landing a hard peck on my lips, he winked.
A hot shiver trembled through me.
“You said you want me to use you,” he grabbed his belt and wrapped it around my wrists. “You want me to feel better,” he added, tugging on the leather.
I nodded. “I’ll do anything to help you.”
A wicked grin spread on his face. “Oh I know.” He walked around the bed, brushing his hand down my spine before pushing me to my knees. “You sure you want to help me?”
I looked at him over my shoulder. “Yes.”
“Good.” He shoved his face into my center, his tongue thrusting deep inside of me.
I gasped, arching beneath him. Tingles spread over my skin, my body coming alive as he feasted on it.
The passion ensnared us, wrapping us up in the solidarity of our love.
(Coby)
The next morning, I let Brogan sleep and headed to the center where Zachary was staying. Making sure to leave Brogan a note, telling her I had to run an errand, I kissed her cheek and made my way out the door.
This meeting would either backfire or something good could come out of it. Axel had been a man of his word and was able to set up a meeting with Zach. With everything he had been through, I prayed that he was being well taken care of with the foster family. That he was as happy as he could possibly be.
Once I arrived at the office for Child Protective Services just outside of Hope Town, I parked the car and took several deep breaths. I wasn’t sure what would come out of this. Knowing Brogan would kick my ass once she found out that I was doing this on my own, I prayed it was worth it.
THE BOY SITTING across from me could pass as my own flesh and blood. With his black hair and tanned skin, he looked like a part of me.
Zachary Brenson lifted his head, his dark eyes meeting mine. Pain, heartache and suffering stared back at me, mirroring my own. But what I didn’t see, which surprised me, was fear. And that terrified me. For someone so young to have gone through what he did and not show any signs of being scared, either he was a damn good actor or his stepmother royally fucked him up.
He sat back, crossing his arms under his chest and stared at me.
In another life, I would have laughed. This child could have been my twin. With the way he held himself, he could very well be my kid. But he wasn’t. Not yet.
I sat back as well, mimicking his pose. “I’m Coby Porter,” I said, breaking the heavy silence. “I understand that you haven’t said a word in quite some time.”
Zach didn’t say anything. He only watched me.
“There are times when I don’t talk either,” I told him. “Words only do so much. It’s actions that speak louder.”
The boy nodded slightly. It was so sudden, I wasn’t sure if I was seeing things or not, but I would take it.
“You have a birthday coming up. Eleven. That’s a big number.”
The boy scoffed, rolling his eyes.
Yup. Definitely my twin.
“You don’t think so?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.
He shook his head, grabbed a piece of paper and wrote down something before showing it to me.
“Eighteen?” I said, nodding toward the paper. “That’s a big number?”
He nodded.
“Because then you’re an adult and you can say fuck you to the system and move on with your life.” I knew I shouldn’t have sworn in front of the kid, but something told me he was much wiser than his years.
Zach nodded again.
“Being an adult is not all it’s cracked up to be,” I told him. “I know what you went through.” Expecting him to look away or burst into tears or some shit, I was momentarily shocked when his gaze hardened. He didn’t show any sign of fear but he sure as fuck was angry. I wasn’t sure if that was good or not, knowing what was done to him could affect him in the long run.
I took a deep breath and laid out my mother fucking soul for him. “I was abused by a woman several months ago. I may not be your age and I won’t compare my situation to yours, but I know. I get the anger. The hatred. Life is so fucking unfair. I know you blame her and probably hate adults at the moment.”
“I don’t hate you,” Zach said, sitting forward.
I paused, cleared my throat and asked, “You don’t?”
“No,” he said, his voice firm. “I hate her.”
Hate was something a child should never have to feel, but I knew there was no point in saying that to him. With what he went through, he had every right to feel that hatred.
“Why has it taken you so long to speak?”
He shrugged. “Nothing to say and besides, no one listens to me.”
“I’m listening to you,” I corrected.
“Exactly. That’s why I’m speaking to you.”
This kid was smart and strong. Too damn strong for a boy his age. He should have had someone there to be strong for him.
“Are you adopting me?” Zach asked, picking up a piece of the puzzle from the table between us. He flipped it over and over between his fingers.
“Is that what you want?” I held on to the hope that he would want it. I needed to give Brogan something to love. Someone to care for besides me. She needed something else to distract her.
Zach shrugged. “Are you married?”
My heart jumped. “Not yet but I will be.”
“Can I meet your girlfriend?”
“She’s not here, little man, but yes, I would love for you to meet her.”
Zach nodded, chewing his bottom lip. He looked between me and the table and back to me again.
“What?”
“Can we finish this puzzle first?”
A laugh boomed through me. “Yes, of course.”
(Brogan)
“Where are you taking me?” I asked Coby. It had been a month since we went to Hope Town the first time and he was now bringing me back there for whatever reason.
“I have a surprise for you,” was all he said. “I know we’ll be getting married in a few of months but I wanted to get this started.” He pulled the SUV into the parking lot of a building with a sign marked Child Protective Services.
“What are we doing, Coby?”
Coby shut off the vehicle before turning to me. He grabbed my hands, kissed my ring finger and held them tight in his. “I love you. You know that right?”
“Yes,” my heart stuttered. “You’re making me really nervous though.”
He chuckled, raking a hand through his hair and messing up the already unkempt black locks. “I’ve been meeting someone twice a week since we came here the first time.”
“It better be a child, Coby Porter, that you’re meeting, or I’ll gut you where you fucking sleep.”
His grin grew. “I think I just fell in love with you all over again.”
“Porter,” I demanded, my voice firm.
“Baby,” he kissed my knuckles. “There is no one else on this damn earth that I would rather spend time with than you.”
“But?”
He winked. “I think you’ll let me make an exception with this one.”
I looked back out at the building before us. “What’s going on?”
“Get out of the car, Brogan. I’ll explain everything.” He slid out of the driver’s side, shut the door and came around to my side of the vehicle.
I sighed and got out of the SUV. No point in sitting there. The curiosity was burning through me.
“Trust me, Brogan,” he kissed my head and took my hand. “Everything I do is with you in mind. Know that.”
I nodded, my heart hammering against my rib cage.
Once we made it into the building, an older woman greeted us.
“Mr. Porter, just in time. He’s been waiting,” she said, her eyes beaming. “I’m Julia Abbott. It’s nice to meet you finally.” She held her hand out to me.
“He?” I asked, returning her handshake.
“You haven’t told her,” the older woman said. “Oh this is perfect. Come with me.”
“Coby?”
He chuckled. “Trust me, little one.”
I did. With every fiber of my being, I trusted him. But I had no idea what the hell was going on and it was starting to piss me off.
Coby and the older woman led me to a back room.
“After you, Brogan,” Coby said, holding the door open for me. His eyes twinkled with mischief and I made a promise to myself that I would kick his ass later.
“Don’t look so worried,” Coby rubbed his thumb against the frown between my eyebrows. “I promise it will all make sense in a moment.” He took a step back, indicating for me to go to a large window.
“His name is Zachary Brenson,” Julia told me. “He’s ten years old and will be eleven on October fifteenth.” The older woman glanced at us from the file in her hand before looking through the window. “His stepmother sexually abused him. I don’t know when it started. The doctors have guessed that maybe he was five but it could have been sooner. He was lucky that the men from Corps Security found him when they did. Who knows how much worse it could have gone.”
“Can there be worse than that?” I asked, not believing what I was hearing. “Why are we here?”
“Brogan,” Coby cupped my face. “That boy in there needs a good home. If it’s alright with you, I would like to adopt him.”
My eyes widened. I glanced at the boy sitting on the other side of the window. He sat at a table, making a puzzle. He was small. His hair jet black. As if he could sense I was looking at him, his tiny body stiffened and he looked in our direction.
My heart jumped in my chest. The boy’s eyes were dark. Darker than anything I had ever seen before. “This is who you’ve been meeting for the past month?”
“Yes, little one,” Coby kissed my forehead. “I should have told you. I’m sorry that I didn’t but I saw an article about him and needed to meet him. It was a driving force. I can’t explain it.”
“No,” I let out a slow breath. “I get it. I’m not mad. Surprised, yes, but definitely not mad.”
“Will you give us a moment?” Coby asked Julia.
“Yes,” she smiled. “Of course. I’ll tell Zach you’re here and will be in to see him in a moment.”
Once we were alone, Coby turned back to me and led me to a couch by the opposite wall.
“Brogan,” he sat, pulling me down beside him. “I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and give you as many babies as I possibly can, but there’s something about this boy. I need it. I need him. After what Tina did, I felt lost. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have been able to find my way on the right path. I want to do the same for him.”
My throat burned, my nose stinging as I held back tears. “I didn’t know you felt this way.”
Coby only shrugged.
“No,” I placed a hand on his arm. “Don’t shut me out. Talk to me.”
He took a breath. “I need to know that what I went through wasn’t for nothing. I think adopting Zach could help both of us heal. I need to do this for you too. You’ve taken care of me. Made me stronger. You have been by my side every single step of the way. I know you’ll be an excellent mother to him.”
“I’ve never taken care of anything more than a plant. I don’t know how to be a mother, Coby.”
“Baby,” he cupped my cheek, brushing his thumb back and forth over my mouth. “You’re a protector. You took care of your brothers when Benny died. You took care of Max when Dale was in a coma. You took care of me when Tina…” he swallowed hard. “You’re a natural.”
I swallowed past the hard lump in my throat. “You think I can do this?”
Coby smiled. “I know you can.”
(Coby)
I called Julia back into the room, needing her to tell Brogan more about Zach. I could only do so much. Julia was the professional and I was biased. Zach and I had a connection.
“He hadn’t said a word since they brought him in,” Julia stated, glancing at the file in her hand. “But your fiancé here has been to see Zach every week for a month. Twice a week actually. I worry that he’ll be in the system until he’s an adult.”
“We’ll take him,” Brogan blurted. “I mean,” her cheeks reddened, “I know we have to sign a bunch of paperwork don’t we? And should we get married first? How does that work? I don’t want him thinking he’s coming into an unstable home. Coby, should we get married now?”
I laughed at the multitude of questions leaving Brogan’s mouth. “How about we take it one day at a time. First, you need to meet him.”
“I…Please.” She tugged my hand. “Coby, I want him.”
“Let me see him first.” I kissed her nose. “Okay?”
She nodded. “Okay.”
“Can we see him?” I asked Julia, cupping my fiancée’s nape and brushing my finger back and forth over her pulse point.
“Yes,” Julia’s eyes warmed. “You can.”
(Brogan)
I watched Coby head into the other room and sit with Zach at the smaller table meant for kids. He hunched over, helping him build the puzzle he had been working on for the past hour.
“Tell me his stepmother got hers,” I said, watching my fiancé interact with the boy.
“She’s at an insane asylum a couple of hours from here. She claimed insanity after a friend walked in on her—”
“I don’t want to know.” I shook my head. Even after all the shit I had done, I couldn’t hear about it when it came to a boy. A child. Someone who wasn’t strong enough to defend himself. Someone who trusted his stepmother to take care of him only for her to turn her back on him and do unspeakable things in return. “That security company found him. How?”
“They were doing a routine check. Saw him, and one of the guys noticed right away how skinny he was. They called it in. It took a while because the stepmother was good at hiding…things, but eventually the police and us, stepped in.”
“I don’t know how you do it,” I whispered, running my hand down the window pane.
“It’s hard but seeing these kids get their forever home…that’s my goal. All of the details are in his file,” Julia moved beside me, hugging the folder to her chest. “I will tell you. Coby was determined. Zach spoke to him at the first meeting. It was like Zach was always meant to be his.”
“This could heal him,” I whispered. It was the only thing I wanted.
She turned to me and gently placed a hand on my shoulder. “I think both you and your fiancé would be perfect for him.”
“I appreciate that but Zach has to want us too. I won’t take a boy who’s forced into coming with us. That’s not fair to him or us.”
“But he doesn’t know you. He can’t possibly know if you’re a good fit for him just after a short meeting.”
“Listen,” I turned to her. “I understand what you’re saying, but that child in there, is smarter than you think, as most children are. I will let him feel us out. I’ll keep coming back here and sit with him until the day comes where he does choose to stay with us, but until then, I won’t force him into a stranger’s home. Not after what he’s been through already.”
“Alright,” she sighed. “I get it. I just want him in a good home and I know both of you would give that to him.”
My breath hitched. “But he has to know it too.”
When I saw Coby and Zach stand up from the small table in the other room, I met them in the hall.
“Brogan, this is Zach,” Coby said, walking towards me with Zach at his side. “He wanted to meet you.”
I knelt on the ground so I was eye level with the boy.
Zach came towards me, stopping a foot away from me. He was taller than I at the moment. “You’re short.”
I laughed, running my sweaty palms down my thighs. “I am.”
He came closer then. Lifting a hand, he touched my cheek. He was warm,
his dark eyes showing so much strength, it took my breath away. I had seen that strength in the man I fell in love with. They may have been abused at different times in their lives, but nonetheless, they were still abused.
“You’re pretty,” Zach muttered, his chocolate brown eyes warming.
“Thank you.” My throat constricted and my chest tightened. It took everything in me not to wrap my arms around this boy. I had to clench my hands into fists, for fear that I would run off, find his stepmother, and kill her where she slept. This boy deserved so much better than what he had been given, and I planned to do that for him.
“Will you force me to eat veggies?” Zach asked, a deep frown settling between his black eyebrows.
“Not if you don’t want to,” I whispered, cupping my hand over the one against my cheek.
Zach turned back to Coby. “I like her.”
Coby smiled. “I like her too, little man.”
“Will you take me home?” Zach asked, cupping my face with both hands.
“If you want me to.” My voice cracked, my eyes burning with unshed tears.
“Yes,” he insisted. “Please take me home.”
“Can I hug you?” I asked, grabbing Zach’s hands gently, pulling them free from my face.
Without giving me a response, he threw himself into my arms and wrapped me up in a tight hug. I knew right then that this was what I was meant to do in life; to take care of him. This little boy who had been through so much, he had aged beyond his years. He was a survivor. The man I married was a survivor. And together they would get through this.
I didn’t realize how much I wanted a child until I met Zach, but looking into his eyes, I knew that he was meant to be mine.
THE NEXT DAY, Coby and I walked down the main street of Hope Town, with Zachary between us. It was surreal to say the least. We had come to this town only a month ago and Coby kept coming back.
“Why didn’t you ever bring me with you? When you started coming to see Zach I mean,” I asked Coby while Zach swung on the swings several feet away.