I nodded and closed my eyes again, concentrating on the beast lying in wait just beneath the surface of my skin. Her power caused my skin to tingle, and a rush of energy to burst through my veins. It was such a commanding high that I would never get used to. A shot of adrenaline raced its way through my body, and then I was on four paws instead of my hands and knees. My wolf relished being released. She hadn’t gotten the chance a lot in the past week. We hadn’t done our nightly runs like before, because my nights were often occupied—twined around Adam’s body. She liked that just as much, though, I knew she loved to be in nature—running and hunting, too.
There is no realistic way to explain what it is like to transform into an animal. She holds influence over me, a constant dominant voice in the back of my head. I trust her instincts as much as she trusts mine. When she’s at the forefront, I’m tucked firmly in the back of her mind, aware of everything that’s going on.
We watched Sawyer transform. His wolf’s fur was the color of silver with sprinklings of black and white. My wolf’s eyes flicked to the rustle of branches, as a breeze blew through the valley. There was a crispness in the air that hadn’t been there before, a sure sign of an early winter in the mountains.
Sawyer’s wolf rushed me. My wolf stepped back just in time to miss his sharp teeth. We circled around one another. The playful glint in Sawyer’s golden eyes was full of mischief. I lunged forward and tackled him, sinking my teeth into the scruff of his neck. My teeth had a firm hold, but I made sure to gauge the pressure so as to not puncture the skin. Sawyer thrashed, and my grip broke. I stumbled to the side, trying to find my feet when he attacked. He leaped onto my back, sending both of us crashing to the ground. I used the momentum to roll so that I was the one on top, and I struck.
“Do you yield?” I sent the message to Sawyer’s mind, my jaws wrapped around his jugular. His wolf lay limp beneath me, giving in to his alpha female.
“Yes,” Sawyer replied.
I released my grip and took a step away when he bounced up and pounced. He gripped my tail between his teeth, and my wolf whelped in surprise.
“You yielded,” I said accusingly.
“Rule number one: never let your guard down.”
“Duly noted.”
I positioned my weight on my front paws and kicked out with my back legs. Sawyer’s grip didn’t lessen. I bent my body and tried to sink my sharp teeth into any part of him, but the angle was all wrong and I was left snapping at open air.
I was struggling so much that when he let me go, I stumbled forward and nose-dived into the ground. My wolf was not a happy camper. She let out a low growl and whirled around ready to tear Sawyer apart for the humiliation.
Loud masculine bellows of laughter halted her attack. Sawyer had changed back and was lying on the barren ground, his back to the earth and his hands resting on his taut stomach while he stared up at the sky.
He looked over at me and burst out laughing again. Through my wolf, I could feel her confusion at his merriment. A rush of tingles washed through my body as I tucked her away and changed back. I stood with my hands on my hips and stared down at Sawyer. I smiled despite his prank.
“Is that any way to treat your alpha female?” I teased.
Sawyer looked over at me, and his laughter stopped. His lips parted, and his eyes grew hungry as they raked over my nude body. Their path left a shiver in their wake.
“Stop looking at me like that,” I said in a serious tone. I cared about Sawyer as a friend, and if Adam ever saw the look he was giving me now, he’d be dead before the sun could set.
“Do you ever think about it?”
I bent and picked up my clothes. “About what?”
“Our one night,” Sawyer said, standing. He made no move to retrieve his clothes. I kept my body angled toward him so that my shoulder was to him, and I kept my attention on my clothes. I worked my shirt so that it wasn’t inside out.
“That’s a double edged sword,” I said. “If I tell you no, it’ll hurt your feelings. And if I say yes, it’ll look as though I’m not loyal to Adam, which I am.” I met his eyes with that last statement. Whatever nonsense was going on in Sawyer’s head, he needed to know that nothing would ever happen between us again.
“So which is it?”
I slipped on my shirt and shimmied quickly into my shorts. My bra and underwear were ruined from the change. I picked the scraps of material up and stuffed them in my pocket as best as I could.
I took a deep breath as I turned to face Sawyer. Right at that moment, he bent down—ass facing me—and picked up his clothes. My eyes fell to the ground so quickly, my vision blurred for a moment.
“Can we not have this discussion again, please?”
Sawyer stood, fumbling with his clothes. “I think about it,” he said quietly, almost as though he was talking to himself rather than me. “I can’t look at you without remembering that night.” His head lifted, and his eyes met mine. They were full of heat, but also something else, something sadder. The pain hiding behind those beautiful green eyes made my gut twist in guilt. In a different world, I could see myself very happy with Sawyer. However, there was no point in entertaining a ‘what-if’ scenario.
“Sawyer, I—”
He held up his hand. “You don’t have to apologize for you and Adam. I don’t like it, but I understand. It just … sucks. I’m not purposely trying to make things harder on you, Anna.” He slipped on his jeans. I watched as his fingers slipped the bronze button through the hole and then went to the zipper.
“I’m working through things and sometimes the shit slips out,” he said. “I’m happy that you’re happy.” He paused and locked eyes with me. “I just wish it was with me.”
Sometimes I do, too. I didn’t say it. There was no point in giving him false hope. I just knew that things would be easier with Sawyer. His life wouldn’t rest in my hands like Adam’s did. As much as I loved Adam, our relationship was more complex than anything I was used to. Adam was in a league all by himself compared to the men I had dated in the past. While I could entertain the idea of a simpler life with Sawyer, I knew even if I could change things and not be bonded to Adam, I wouldn’t. I’d take our complex relationship over an easy one any day of the week.
Portable bleachers had been brought in for the festivities. Rows of them sat on either side of the open space like a makeshift football field. After sleeping most of the day, Adam was starting to feel better. I huddled next to him, wrapping my arms around his waist and leaning my head against his shoulder. I knew his body was still recovering, and my closeness would keep him warm. The weather in the mountains is fickle at best. It could be sunny and ninety degrees in the plains while a snowstorm brewed at the highest peaks.
Adam turned his head, and I looked up at him, smiling. He still stunned me every time we made eye contact. He was mouthwatering in so many ways. His blond hair hung over his sparkling azure eyes. I watched as his full lips stretched into a grin that had my panties wanting to drop.
“Adam, dear.”
Just like that, the spell was broken. I sat up and tried not to frown at Maggie’s intrusion. Her lips steeled into a line when she looked at me. Today, she wore a gray pantsuit with a pale pink undershirt. Her blond hair was upswept and professional, just like her outfit.
“Hello, Mother.”
Maggie removed her icy gaze from me. Her eyes softened when she looked upon her son. She reached a hand out and rested it against the side of Adam’s face, concern filling her eyes.
“How are you feeling?”
“Better,” Adam said. “The amount of silver must not have been as great as Sunny anticipated.”
“That’s excellent news, and I’m so happy you’re on the mend.” She smiled, but her eyes cut to my face. “It helps you’re from a strong bloodline.”
The glance was brief, but I knew what she was saying—that I wasn’t worthy of someone of his stature. That’s the great thing about the heart, though; it doesn’t care about l
abels, race, creed, or social standings. The heart is blind to the nonsensical bullshit that weighs down societies.
“Have you spoken with Chloe today?”
“She stopped by to check on me, but I was asleep is what I’m told,” Adam said. “I’ll have to thank her for her concern.”
I looked between Adam and his mother. A glint reflected in her conniving eyes when she glanced at me. So Chloe was the girl she wanted her son to be with? I wondered if that had to do with Chloe’s pure bloodline, or the connections it would ensure for Adam’s parents. I learned early on after joining the Everwood pack that emotion does not play into the pairing of two wolves. It’s all very political and depressing. Aside from Adam and I, there were only three other couples in our pack. Most had casual hookups, but none of them considered settling down unless it benefited their position.
I was determined not to allow the jealousy of Chloe show itself—that’s what Maggie wanted.
“That was very nice of her,” I said. “I’ll be sure to thank her, as well.”
Adam’s hand gripped mine tighter, and he gave me a secret smile that told me he wasn’t fooled by my faux politeness.
“Yes, well …” Maggie turned. “Oh, here she comes.”
Boy, did she ever. Dressed in a short sundress that barely covered her behind and neck-breaking heels that elongated her already long legs. Her blonde hair was pinned up to expose the length of her slim neck and shoulders. The jealousy I’d been containing burst forward, and all I saw was red. My wolf scratched and clawed at the smile she cast in our mate’s direction.
Back off, bitch!
“Hi, guys,” Chloe said with a saccharine smile.
“Hi.” I smiled back, making sure to keep my lips pressed tight so it didn’t come out as a sneer.
She sat beside Adam, a little too close. Adam looked down at our joined hands, and I followed his direction. My fingers were white from the pressure. Smiling sheepishly, I released my grip a little. I hated feeling like this—hated the insecurity Chloe brought out in me. The problem was, Adam was mated to Eve when our thing began. Though I refused to be the other woman, I wasn’t so sure Chloe would. I knew deep down that wasn’t the type of man Adam was, but the small uncertainty still birthed itself inside of me. Adam’s and my case was different, wasn’t it? We were pulled toward each other because we were each other’s Chantes.
He was the yin to my yang.
The cheese to my macaroni.
The jelly to my peanut butter.
So why was I deluding myself with doubts that he liked what he saw when he looked at Chloe? His eyes weren’t even on her; they were on me. Take that, Momma Everwood.
“Anna, may I speak with you in private for a moment?”
I blinked, retreating from my thoughts. Maggie stared at me expectantly. Having another one-on-one conversation with that woman was not on my immediate to-do list, but I didn’t want animosity with the mother of the man I loved. I would do everything in my power to be civil toward her, and if we didn’t get along, the blame would rest solely on her shoulders.
I stood and told Adam I would be back. I even smiled at Chloe. Adam still held my hand and tugged me back before I could leave. His hands came up to cup my face, and he stared into my eyes for a moment before he brought his lips to mine. I kissed him slow and methodically, making him feel the pressure each brush of my lips brought.
“Oh, for Heaven’s sake,” Maggie said behind me. “Respectable alphas do not make-out in public, Adam.”
I broke the kiss, annoyed with Maggie for her second interruption of the day. Smiling against Adam’s mouth, I gave him one quick kiss and turned to talk with the she-devil.
Maggie walked off without another word, and I followed, ready to get this over with so I could watch the games. She stopped at the side of the house, just far enough back that we were blocked from viewers. When she looked up at me, I could see the determination in her eyes. I already knew what she wanted to talk to me about.
“How many more times are you going to put Adam’s life in danger?”
My eyes widened. “I wasn’t aware I put his life in danger before the shooting.”
Maggie crossed her thin arms across her chest. “You’ve put his life in danger since the very beginning.” She rested one arm on the other, bent at the elbow, and held up a finger. “The first time was seducing him from Eve.”
“Wha … I—”
Maggie shook her head and continued, “The pairing of two clans is a very important business deal, Anna. You pranced in here and tempted my son into thinking he should be with you. It’s a miracle Eve’s father hasn’t declared war on us for our betrayal.”
Pranced? She made it sound like I was some floozy with the I.Q. of a toddler.
“Second,” Maggie said, holding up another finger. “You brainwashed Adam into going against our Leaders.” At my confused expression, she asked, “Was he not prepared to fight them for your freedom?”
I nodded, my mouth agape. “Yeah … but—”
She held up another finger. “Were you not the reason why a fight broke out here, and Eve was killed?”
“You’re spinning things out of context,” I said. “Yes, Anthony and Eve kidnapped me, but it was because they’re psychopaths. Eve was killing humans, risking our secret. Adam rescued me, and that started the fight, but it wasn’t all for me. It was to put an end to Eve’s murdering. I would think as an olde blood you wouldn’t want the first impression of wolves leaked to the public to be that we’re bloodthirsty monsters, and that’s exactly what they would have thought had Adam not taken care of the problem. Eve wasn’t tactful in her killings. She would have been discovered sooner or later.” I took a shuddering breath, worked up from the anger Maggie caused.
“Can I ask you something?” At her nod, I continued, “Why is it that you see fault in me, a person you don’t even know, yet you’re treating Anthony as though he’s a saint? He was part of Eve’s crazy plan and sleeping with her, I might add. You look down your nose at me for my bloodline, but you’re blind to all the faults of those with what you consider pure blood.” I paused and met her eyes glare for glare. “I may not have Eve’s social standing, but I would never treat your son the way she did. Politics play no role in a relationship. I love your son and the Great Spirits have brought us together as each other’s Chantes. Not even you, Maggie Everwood, can undo that.”
We studied each other for a few lingering moments. I’d said my peace, and I was done. There was nothing else to say that would convince her of my worth. This was another odd thing about my relationship with Adam. I’d never met a boyfriend’s parents before. I had never had a boyfriend long enough to reach that step.
“I believe you love him,” Maggie said softly, “but he’s my son, and the love of a mother will never be outdone by a girlfriend. I also love Anthony and see him for who he is, not who he shows the world. I will do everything in my power to protect both of them.” She took a step toward me, and I stiffened. My wolf bristled beneath my skin, ready to come to the surface, if needed.
“I’m about to do something I have never done,” Maggie said. She took a deep breath, readying herself for what she was about to say. “I beg you, walk away from Adam. Put his needs before yours and leave him. He will never stop placing himself in harm’s way while you are in the picture.” Her eyes changed from conniving to compassionate. “Love is a selfless emotion, Anna. Put aside your personal feelings and think about what it would mean for Adam if you left.”
I opened my mouth to respond, but Maggie held up a hand to stop me.
“Think about it,” she said. “Just because we got lucky this time, doesn’t mean we’ll get a second chance. The next attack could be his last. Will you be able to get over the regret his death would cause?” She took another step closer and reached out to me, placing her hands on either side of my shoulders.
“If the answer is yes, then you do not truly love him. If the answer is no, then do something to prevent it.�
�
She didn’t give me another chance to speak. With one last look, she walked past me. I spun around and watched her move toward the bleachers. A lot of people walked back and forth, either heading to watch the games or taking advantage of the huge buffet we had catered. Through the gaps of the crowd, I could see Adam sitting on the bleachers. Chloe laughed at something, and Adam kept his gaze on the obstacle course in front of him.
It struck me then that maybe the reason the purebloods arranged mates was for the protection it offered them from the Chante myth, rather than getting a leg up in their rankings. By pairing two people who did not love each other, there was no risk of them bonding. What Adam and I thought was a testament to our love could also be construed as a curse—a weakness.
Adam looked over, his eyes searching for me. When he found me, we locked gazes and a pain shot through my chest. Could I really just walk away from him? He stood up—ready to come over when I shook my head. I tried for a smile, but it probably looked as fake as it felt.
I looked away, unable to hold his eyes and think what I was thinking. The idea of leaving him caused an unfathomable amount of guilt. I knew he wouldn’t understand. Hell, I didn’t understand why I was even considering it.
“Hey, I’ve been looking for you.”
I looked up from the ground. Elle stood with her hands on her hips. Today, she had her long copper hair braided. A few wisps escaped and played against her neck.
I swallowed around the discomfort Maggie had caused. “What’d you need?”
“You, of course,” Elle said with a smile. “You’ve been M.I.A., and everyone is anxious to meet you.”
I noticed she still didn’t look me in the eye. “Yeah, I trained this morning and just had a … chat with Adam’s mom.” I ran my fingers through my hair. “Everyone probably thinks I’m stuck up, huh? I promise I’m not trying to ignore them.”
She stepped forward and looped her arm through mine, tugging me forward. I laughed when I stumbled over a stick. Elle made it easy to forget all of my troubles, even if they’d be waiting for me tomorrow.
Embracing the Wolf - Book #2 (Anna Avery) Page 10