by Amare, Mercy
“Fine.” She stomps ahead of me, crossing her arms over her chest like a spoiled three year old. When we get to the table, she purposely sits on the opposite side from Emmett, so I take the empty seat beside him. I try not to think about what Courtney said about him having a small penis, but it’s kind of hard… or… er… difficult.
“Hey, Courtney,” Victoria greets her.
Courtney glares at Victoria. “Hello, traitor.” She turns to look at all of us. “In fact, all of you are traitors.”
“We are here because we care about you,” Emmett tells her.
She snorts. “Really? You care? Because just a couple days ago you dumped me, and called me a crazy bitch. Please tell me what has changed your heart so quickly.”
“I have always cared about you, Courtney,” he says. “I’m just worried about you. We all are.”
She looks around the table, frowning slightly. “Why are you all worried? Because Emmett broke my heart? Trust me, I will get over it. I’ve had a broken heart before.”
“That’s not why we’re here,” Victoria says.
“We are worried because of your behavior lately,” Ariana says. I can hear the concern in her voice.
Before we came here tonight, we all decided that Ariana would be the one to start the conversation. She has such a sweet voice, and even when she’s saying something harsh it doesn’t seem like it. Plus, it’s really hard to stay mad at Ariana.
“What about my behavior?” she asks.
“You’ve been… different,” Ariana answers. “You have these extreme mood swings…”
Courtney cuts her off. “It’s called PMS.”
“No, it’s more than that. I’ve known you for two years, and you’ve never been like this,” she says. “And we were wondering if maybe you have a problem with drugs.”
“DRUGS?” Courtney raises her voice slightly.
We all nod.
“I would never do drugs,” she says. “And the fact that you think I would hurts my feelings.”
“Then what is it?” Ariana asks her.
Courtney looks angry, then her expression suddenly changes to somber. She frowns, and looks down at the table. “I don’t know,” she answers. “I feel like there is something wrong with me. I have such rage inside of me sometimes, and other times I am so happy that I feel like I could fly. Sometimes I go days without even sleeping, and I feel like I don’t even know myself. I have no idea what is going on inside of my body.” A few tears fall from her eyes.
“Have you talked to anybody about it?” Ariana asks.
Courtney shakes her head and takes a drink of water. “I haven’t yet. I don’t even know who to talk to.”
“What if we all went with you and talked to your mom?” she asks. “I think she would be the best person to talk to first.”
“Okay,” she says. “I would like that. But can we eat first?”
“Yes, because I am starving,” Victoria says.
“I have to pee,” I say, getting up from the table. “I will be right back.”
I walk toward the bathroom. I am feeling relieved that Courtney took the intervention well, and I am glad that she’s going to be talking to her mom. It’s a step in a very positive direction. I just want her to be okay.
After going to the bathroom, I wash my hands. Just as I’m about to open the door, I hear an alarm going off and the sprinklers turn on. I attempt to cover my head, and push the door. The door doesn’t budge. I push all my weight against it, but it doesn’t budge. I start to bang on the door, but I don’t think anybody can hear me over the alarm going off.
“HELP!” I yell, hoping somebody hears me.
I pull out my cell phone to call somebody, but I don’t have a signal.
A few seconds later, smoke starts coming in the bathroom from the crack underneath the door. I begin panicking, and bang on the door harder, screaming and kick it. I look around the bathroom for an alternate escape, but there are no windows. It’s in that moment that I realize I did underestimate my stalker, and because of it, I am going to die.
I think about my friends. I hope that they’re alright. I hope that my stalker didn’t target anybody besides me, and once I die, I hope that he leaves everybody alone. I just want everybody to be alright.
The air is getting thick with smoke, and I begin coughing. I know that I will probably pass out soon, and I’m glad. I am tired of thinking, and I am tired of fighting.
I think of Gabe. I wonder if he will have a happy life, and if he will think of me often. I hope that whoever he falls in love with will be crazy in love with him. He deserves love.
My knees give out, and I fall down onto the floor. My eyes are getting heavy, so I lie down in the puddle of water around me. I decide to just shut my eyes for a minute.
Just a minute is all I need.
7:33 PM
Blurry.
When my eyes open again, I am no longer in the bathroom. Arms are wrapped around me, and when I take a breath the air is clean. Everything is blurry, but there is fire all around me. I am too exhausted to care. I try to lift my head to see who is carrying me, but I can’t. I just close my eyes once again, and let the darkness take over.
Friday, December 10
8:09 AM
Too many boyfriends.
When I open my eyes, everything is too bright, so I squeeze them shut.
Am I dead? I wonder. The thought of being dead is equally thrilling and scary. Thrilling because I will see my mom again, but scary because I’m not ready to die yet. I am too young, and I still have a life to live… A life that I plan on spending with Gabe. I would miss him too much if I was dead.
Finally, I open my eyes again. It’s still bright, but I slowly let them adjust.
“Kihanna?” Somebody says my name. Either I am dead, and my angel sounds just like Gabe, or I am alive. Finally, the room comes into focus, and I see Gabe looking at me.
He looks better. His face is still swollen, but it’s definitely an improvement from what he looked like on Tuesday.
“Gabe…” My voice is hoarse, and my throat feels as though it’s on fire. I try to sit up, but when I do the room starts spinning. I lie back down and wait for the room to stop moving.
I try to remember what happened and where I am, but I can’t. The last thing I remember was going out with eat with my friends, but even that is a little bit fuzzy.
“What happened?” I ask, whispering. Why does my throat hurt so much?
“There was a fire at Ishmales,” Gabe tells me.
When he says fire, I remember being in the bathroom. There were sprinklers. “I tried to get out, but something jammed the door.” I begin to cough. Talking hurts, and I begin to remember why. “There was smoke…”
“The fireman found you. There was something wedged in front of the door,” he says. “They got to you just in time.”
I thought that I was going to die last night. I underestimated my stalker. I didn’t think that he or she would really try to kill me, but I won’t make that mistake again. “It was my stalker,” I whisper.
“I know,” Gabe says. “Ty told us about the note.”
“Ty knows?” I ask.
“Yeah. He saw you pull the note out of your locker. You looked sick when you read whatever it was, so he said he grabbed the note from you and read it. He didn’t know exactly what was going on when he came to us, so Toby and I decided to fill him in,” he says. “Ty knows about your stalker. He’s going to try and help us figure out who it is.”
I am not sure how I feel about Ty knowing. I don’t want to put him in any danger, because I’ve already put enough people in danger… but maybe he can help us figure it out. I just want to figure it all out so I can move forward. I want to be able to enjoy life again without having to always look behind me.
“Is it safe? For Ty—” I start coughing again.
“You probably shouldn’t talk,” Gabe says, frowning. “And I’m not sure if it’s safe for Ty to know, but he knows. If you
r stalker didn’t want other people to know, then he probably shouldn’t put notes in your locker for anybody to read as they walk by you. Having Ty know isn’t ideal, but it might come in handy. And Ty has been my best friend since kindergarten, so maybe this will help us mend our friendship.”
The friendship that I ruined. Right.
Just then, the door opens and the nurse comes in. Gabe waves to me as he steps out in the hallway, and the nurse starts looking at my monitors and writing down stuff.
“How are you feeling?” the nurse asks.
“Like somebody stuck a hot coal down my throat,” I whisper, and then cough again. I really, really hope I get better soon.
She laughs. “Well, that should only last a couple of days. You are very lucky that the firemen got to you when they did. If it were a minute later, you and I might not be having this conversation.”
“How long will I be in here?”
“You should get to go home today.” She looks up at me and smiles. “Is that boy who was just in here your boyfriend?”
I nod.
“He has been sitting in here all night. Your parents and brother have too, but that boy refuses to leave your side. It’s really sweet.” She frowns for a moment, almost as if she’s sad. “Someday, I hope I find somebody who loves me that much. Don’t ever let him go.”
“I won’t,” I whisper. It’s true. After everything that Gabe and I have been through, I will never let him go.
The nurse walks out, and Gabe, Toby, and Ty walks in.
“My mom and your dad went to get breakfast,” Toby tells me. “We figured you’d be waking up soon, and that you probably didn’t want hospital food.”
I shake my head, because I’m tired of talking.
“I think we should tell your dad,” Gabe says.
My eyes widen. “No,” I say.
“Why not?” he asks. “It’s obvious this stalker isn’t going to take it easy on you, and it’s not safe anymore. You’re in physical danger. I mean, you almost died last night.”
“But what if she tells and it gets worse?” Toby says.
“How much worse can it get?” Gabe asks.
“I agree with Gabe,” Ty says. “But maybe you should give it a little more time.”
I’m about to open my mouth when I see a dozen purple roses sitting on the table beside my bed. I grab the note.
Tell anybody else about me, and you will become the prime suspect in the murder of Jacqueline Hoff.
I pass the note to Toby, Ty, and Gabe.
I literally feel sick to my stomach. I want to doubt what the note says, but I know what the stalker is capable of. I know that whoever is doing this can do exactly what that note says. Murder isn’t something my dad could get me out of. I would go to jail for a very long time.
“Well, what do we do now?” Toby asks.
“We keep this a secret for a little longer,” Gabe answers. “I am not sure how this person could frame you for the murder, but after everything that has gone on, it’s a definite possibility. Plus, everybody saw you punch Jacqueline that day in the cafeteria. Everybody knows that you two don’t like each other.”
Ty looks sick. “I still can’t believe that Jacqueline is dead.”
For some reason, I feel sad hearing Ty talk about Jacqueline. I want to think it’s because she’s dead, but I know the real reason I’m sad. Ty cheated on me — with Jacqueline. And maybe I never was in love with him, but that doesn’t make his betrayal hurt any less.
Oh my God. I’m jealous of somebody who is dead. What is wrong with me?
“I forgot that you actually liked her,” Gabe says. “I’m pretty sure you and her two clones were the only ones who could tolerate her.”
“That bitch was crazy,” Ty says. “If she wasn’t dead, I would think that she was the one sending the notes.”
Toby’s eyes light up. “What if it is her?”
“She’s dead.” Gabe gives Toby a duh look.
“I’m serious,” Toby says. “What if the picture was fake? What if she’s out there somewhere sending these notes?”
“Do you really think she would do that?” Ty asks exactly what I’m thinking. “I mean, she’s crazy, but I don’t think she’s that crazy. And Jacqueline hated Kihanna, sure, but not enough to do this.”
“Who do you think it is?” Toby asks Ty.
Ty doesn’t reply right away. He looks as though he’s mentally going through a list of names. “I have no idea,” Ty says. “I don’t know anybody crazy enough to do this. I guess it could literally be anybody.”
“Do you think it’s somebody we know?” Gabe asks.
“Possibly, but there is also a possibility it’s just some crazy psycho who is targeting Mark Evers’s daughter.”
“Or possibly one of your many ex-girlfriends who is mad because you dated Kihanna longer than you dated anybody else,” Toby says.
Ty laughs. “Or it could be one of Gabe’s ex-girlfriends.”
“This started before I dated either one of you,” I whisper, reminding them that I am still in the room.
This is my life. I am hanging out with both of my ex-boyfriends… Except Gabe is also my current boyfriend, which makes it even more awkward. Where is a distraction when you need one?
Just then, the door opens and in comes Dad and Veronica with food.
Thank you, unknown forces who heard my plea.
“You’re awake.” Dad smiles when he sees me, but he looks tired. I can tell he must not have slept last night. He walks over to my bed and grabs my hand. “How are you feeling?”
“Like shit,” I answer, whispering. “But I am hungry.”
Veronica hands me my food. Gabe, Ty, and Toby leave the room, so I begin eating. It hurts to swallow, but I never got dinner last night, so I’m hungry.
“What a crazy month,” Veronica says. “I can’t believe all this bad stuff keeps happening to you.”
Ha, yeah. Me neither. Of course, it wouldn’t be if some crazy psycho didn’t keep making sure that bad stuff happens to me. It’s like I’m living out a horror movie.
“I don’t understand how there was something wedged in front of the bathroom door,” Dad says. “It almost like somebody was trying to kill you.”
You have no idea. I just shrug my shoulders, hoping that the subject is dropped.
“Well, we will let you eat,” Veronica says. She and Dad walk out the door.
Thank God. Peace and quiet.
4:09 PM
Karma?
I have been waiting for the doctor to discharge me for hours now. My throat is starting to feel a little bit better, and I am more than ready to leave.
Ariana and Victoria walk in my room and frown as they see me.
“How are you feeling?” Ariana asks, as she and Victoria walk toward my bed.
I really wish people would stop asking me that. “I’ve been better,” I whisper. “Did you guys talk to Courtney’s mom?”
“We did,” Victoria answers. “We came here first, and once the doctor said you would be okay we went to her house. We were going to wait, but Courtney didn’t want to. She said if she didn’t talk with her mom she would lose her nerve.”
If Courtney is my stalker, maybe she felt guilty for it. Maybe this will all be over.
“Courtney’s mom’s boyfriend is a shrink, so they took her to get a psych eval at the hospital where he works,” Ariana says. “They think that she is bipolar, but they are still doing tests. The good news is that with the right medication, they should be able to control it. The bad news is, they might be admitting her for a couple of weeks.”
“At least she is going to be alright,” I say.
But if Courtney was in for a psych eval last night, she isn’t my stalker. If she was, she wouldn’t have been able to bring the flowers… Unless somebody did it for her. I suppose that my stalker could be more than one person.
If it’s even Courtney. Just because she’s bipolar doesn’t mean that she’s my stalker. To be honest, I h
ope it’s not her. Besides, I just don’t think she could kill Jacqueline. Courtney isn’t a killer.
I don’t think the stalker was anybody that I had dinner with last night. That is just too obvious.
But, maybe they want me to think that.
Wow. It’s official — I am going crazy.
“You’re the talk of the school today,” Victoria says.
I roll my eyes. “Great…”
“Nothing bad. Everybody is talking about your bad luck lately — you were hospitalized just two weeks ago and now again. And everything else that went down over Thanksgiving break…”
“I do have bad luck. I think karma is targeting the wrong girl,” I say. “You know, when I first moved here, somebody told me to get out while I still had time. I didn’t take the words very serious then, but now I kind of wish I had listened.”
Really, it isn’t “karma” targeting me. It’s a crazy psycho who won’t leave me alone, even though I’ve done nothing to them.
Or maybe I have. Maybe I did something and didn’t even realize it. But really, what could I have done to offend somebody that bad?
I punched Jacqueline Hoff — but everybody was happy that I did that. Besides Jacqueline, and she’s dead.
I dated Ty Newman… but the notes started before I dated him. Of course, the notes I got before I started dating him were very non-threatening… Mostly warnings, telling me to get out. After we broke up is when it got bad. So whoever it is obviously is mad that I broke his heart, which would explain why they didn’t want me to date Gabe.
“Do you guys know anybody who has a crush on Ty?” I ask Ariana and Victoria. So maybe it’s a random question, but I need to know like now.
They look at me like I’m crazy.
“Please tell me you’re not thinking about getting back with him,” Ariana says. Her nose is crinkled in disgust.
“No, no!” I say. “I’m just curious.”