by Brown, Tara
Touching the soft robe on the wall next to the shower, I could kiss Stan for forcing me to do this. He’s as old as Methuselah’s goat, but I could for reals have a make-out session for a room this nice. This is akin to winning the lottery. I’ve died and gone to girlie heaven. Rustic girlie heaven. It’s the sort of setting I needed for a work trip.
The bathroom lighting is some kind of magic. Or maybe it’s the fresh air. Whatever it is, I look good. Better than I should for how much crying and sweating I did yesterday.
Impressed beyond belief, I walk to the fully stocked pantry, gasping at what I find. Every snack food imaginable, including chocolate-covered jujubes, is here. Every kind of beverage sits next to them. I open the mini fridge to find ice cream bars in the freezer. Häagen-Dazs ice cream bars.
I have daydreams about the assault I’ll commit on this minibar, but first I tear myself away to explore the last door. I turn the knob and open it, finding another hallway. It’s crazy how big this place is. It’s a basic-bitch Narnia.
I stroll past another pantry as the door to the left opens, revealing a naked guy wiping his face with a fluffy white towel while he walks from the bathroom. Steam and the scent of men’s bodywash floats after him.
Pins and needles cover me.
My jaw drops and I’m about to scream when he lowers the towel and his eyes meet mine. I know him.
He narrows his gaze for a second, processing my frozen body in front of him, before a smirk slowly crosses his lips. “Are you part of the welcome gift? Because Sami got this one right. I mean, I’m as much a fan of lavender bath salts as any guy, but this is more my speed. Hello, gorgeous.”
“I—I’m—you’re in my room!” I manage to shout as embarrassment flushes my cheeks.
“This is my room, Red. But if you want, we can think of it as our room.” He winks and I step back, horrified. He loses the smug charm at seeing my reaction, which is no doubt sheer disgust. “Oh shit, don’t panic. I’m kidding—they’re adjoining doors! I thought Carson and Rich were my room neighbors so I didn’t lock it.” He lifts his hands, still holding the towel. My eyes are stuck on his penis.
“Cover yourself up!” I shout at him and turn, rushing back into my room. The door slams as I fling it back and lock it.
Lawrence Eckelston.
That was Lawrence Eckelston.
That was Lawrence Eckelston’s penis.
Fan—fucking—tastic.
6
Bridezilla
Lori
“So did you guys get a random redhead in your room as a welcome gift from Sami?” I joke with Nat, trying to throw her off her game as we play on the PlayStation she somehow snuck onto the property. God knows where it was stashed.
“What?” She isn’t distracted by talking. “You got a redhead in your room? Like a real one or a blow-up doll from Brady?”
“Yeah no, real girl. Though I’m surprised Brady missed the opportunity to leave a blow-up doll in my room.” I move quickly but she steals the puck. “Shit. Anyway, some chick I’ve never met showed up in my room when I was showering. It was weird.”
“No, we never got a girl. But I got you, baby!” Nat shouts, moving her player to the right and scoring again.
I clench but manage not to bitch, it only eggs her on. She loves gloating and talking smack when she’s this into a game.
“I’m going to spank you, Lori!” she says with a throaty chuckle.
“Just what a guy doesn’t want to hear his fiancée say to another guy,” Brady grumbles, coming into the room with a sandwich he no doubt convinced the private chef to whip up for him.
“Especially, when the guy is as handsome as me.” I grin and manage to steal the puck and skate for her end. My thumbs are killing me, but I can’t go down with this big of a loss.
“Just let her win, man. Save yourself some dignity and carpal tunnel.” He takes a massive bite and moans into the thick bread. “This is almost as good as Millie's.”
“Like you do?” Nat taunts him. I swear she hasn’t blinked in the two hours we’ve managed to play, and her fingers and wrists have to be some kind of cyborg upgrade. “Don’t eat all that, I want a bite.”
“Brady, do you know who the mystery redhead is?” I ask. “Hot, tall, maybe twenty-five. I didn’t recognize her, which is weird considering this hundred-and-fifty-person wedding is supposed to be strictly close friends and family.” I laugh and hope talking about the wedding and the possibility of a stranger here will take Nat’s attention.
“Huh?” Brady asks, mid bite. “What redhead?”
“I don’t know. She came into my room when I was showering. I thought maybe Sami got me a date since I refused to bring someone.”
“Got ya again!” Nat gloats, completely ignoring Brady’s and my talking.
I throw down the controller when she scores.
“Boom and it’s over!” Nat blinks finally and puts down the controller. She flexes and stretches her fingers. “You want to get beat down next, big boy?” she asks Brady.
“No.” He grimaces. “Banks, it’s time to put that away. Your eyes are bloodshot, and I kinda want to go back to talking about the redhead running around looking for a date.” He winks at Nat, no doubt avoiding gaming with her.
“Are you assholes for real?” Matt’s voice interrupts before Nat can lay down her mean comeback. “Sami will be here any second. Her meeting with the security team wasn’t supposed to be long. Hide that.” Pointing at the game console, he sounds exasperated already. Not that I blame him, we’ve been suffering through Sami planning this for months. And now that it’s here, everyone is exhausted and Sami is somehow still going strong.
A normal billionaire wedding is a lot to prepare for.
A Sami Ford, Princess and the Pauper, billionaire wedding is a whole other ball of wax. Last time Matt mentioned it, he was close to tears telling me she was nearing half a million dollars on renting the location for six days. Not including anything else.
I didn’t have the heart to tell him that Nat revealed this entire wedding would end up around five million, at least. And that wasn’t counting the honeymoon. It’s insane and I can’t imagine spending that kind of money on one day. Getting married, even to Sami Ford, shouldn’t be this extravagant.
“Hey, guys,” Sami shouts from the hallway as the door closes with a thud. “I’m back.”
“Shit.” Nat scrambles, stuffing the PlayStation under the table as I unplug the cables and hide the remotes.
“Should we head over to—” Sami pauses as she enters and gives us one of her suspicious stares. I avert my gaze, avoiding eye contact and revealing anything. I’m the worst liar and my eyes always betray me. “What is going on in here?”
“Nothing, Lori thought he saw a spider.” Matt is also not a great liar.
“Is that a PlayStation under that table?” Her eyes grow wild and scary as she tilts her head to get a better look.
“What? No!” Nat moves in front of it.
“Your eyes are bloodshot, Nat! What did I say about electronic devices this week?”
“I have to go see about the—uhh—extra towels I ordered. See you guys at dinner. We’re setting up at six, right, Brady?” I stand up quick and hurry for the door.
“I’ll help. We need more towels too,” Brady shouts after me, abandoning his sandwich. We rush from the house.
“Brady!” Nat yells but he slams the door and bolts down the front steps with me.
We run for my golf cart and climb in, grinning at Brimley’s face in the window of the door. I start it up and put the cart into reverse, driving fast to the road.
“Beer?” Brady asks as the wind hits our faces.
“Yes, anything is better than that.” I point at the house behind us. “Did you see the steam coming out her ears?”
“Yeah, bro, we need to avoid her wrath.” He nudges me in the arm. “I’m bunking with you tonight. Maybe the redhead will come back.”
“We can hope.” I laugh but I hones
tly doubt I could have sex with anyone right now.
We drive across the farm which is anything but a farm. They call it that, but it has a craft beer brewery, Michelin-starred restaurant, and the cheapest hotel rooms are five hundred a night. Sami said it’s riding the trend of rustic chic weddings and doing well. Which is why she’s getting married here. It’s perfect for the Princess and the Pauper. Everything is for the Princess and the Pauper, Sami and Nat’s influencer business.
“So are you gonna bang the redhead and tell me all about it?” Brady nudges me and I nudge him back. “You could film it and let me watch.”
“Absolutely not.” I chuckle. “Firstly, I don’t bang girls at weddings. It’s like shooting fish in barrels, but not normal fish, more like those farmed fish. They’re hopped up on marriage steroids and start thinking things. Relationship things.”
“You gotta put it in their butt and play the back nine. They don’t think relationship things when you do that. Makes the sex taboo. It’s for sure a one-night stand then. In fact, they never want to see you again. You made them dirty.”
I laugh because he’s the only person I know who would say that aloud and not crack a grin. “I’ll keep that in mind, bud. But the other reason is, I’m not looking for some chick. I’m exhausted from the end of the season. That was a shit year for us which has me a bit bummed. And adding to it all, Sami’s weird wedding planning where she refused to tell us anything while forcing us to help was too much. All the secrecy, drama, dress shops, and cake tasting during playoffs and all our road trips. It’s been intense. I need some down time. Not a clingy girl.”
“Yeah, that’s fair.” He doesn’t joke, he likely feels it too. “Plus, if you’re staying at the same hotel or resort, you always end up sleeping together. Like actually sleeping.”
“Yeah, I have a rule about that too. No sleepovers.”
When we park at the main house and climb out of the golf cart, I turn back to the hillside where the house is. “Is Nat going to murder you for abandoning her?”
“Yes,” Brady admits freely. “Hence the sleeping at your cabin. Guess you’re breaking that sleepover rule.”
“You’re stupid.” I start walking next to him and trip him. “And when she breaks up with you, I’m moving in for the kill. Nat’s a score.”
“Whatever, it’s her own fault. I told her not to bring the PlayStation. I am not taking any of the Sami wedding week heat.” He scoffs and trips me back, but I grab his arm and spin over his back and keep walking like nothing happened as he staggers next to me.
“You two need to bang and get it over with. All this flirting isn’t healthy,” Cap, the captain of our team, jokes as he strolls up, rubbing his eyes. He must have had one of the surprise early morning wake-up calls too. Though his wife is missing, something I’ve noticed a lot lately.
“Maybe we already have, bro. You want in?” Brady teases.
“I do,” Carson says as he and Rich jog over from the far side of the parking lot. “It’s weird we’re all meeting here right now. Kismet and shit. Which is lucky since I feel so out of touch. The no-phones thing is kinda killing me. My fingers have no idea what to do with themselves.”
“I can think of a few things they can do.” Rich’s joke makes Brady and I chuckle but Carson scowls at him.
“Hey, where’s your cabin?” I ask Carson. “I thought we were room buddies.” I lower my voice, “Ended up with some crazy hot redhead who has already attacked me once.”
“I’ll need that story.” He laughs. “We thought we were next to you too, but we’re across from you. We’ve got some cute little brunette next to us. I’m trying to convince Rich we need to add her to the mix maybe.”
“So she can convince Rich he can do better,” I bug Carson.
“Hey! Wait up,” Matt shouts as he parks his golf cart and hurries over. “You two suck.”
“How bad was it?” Brady asks.
“I don’t know. I was on your heels. Tripped Nat on the way out so she had to stay.” He seems ashamed but not enough to stay there and listen to bridezilla. “At least Eli is with Sami’s mom and dad right now. Nat can handle meltdown number fifty-three on her own.”
“Poor Nat,” I mutter and thank the gods of all that is holy my little crush on Sami never went anywhere. She’s too much.
“Yikes, what did we miss during our nap?” Rich asks Matt and me.
“Well, first there was a fake picnic where we all sat and pretended to eat and drink but didn’t. We smiled a lot and changed clothes several times. Pretty sure I have sunstroke from that. Then we went for a small hike without you two, since you didn’t show up. Sami bitched the whole time so it was like you were there,” I say to Carson. “Then Nat and I played some PlayStation while Sami met with the security guys. Got busted and ran for our lives.”
“So she’s still full influencer instead of a bride?” Rich asks as he leans in for the answer.
“No, she’s bridezilla the influencer. It’s been a real treat,” Matt grumbles. “When this is over, I’m taking away all her electronics for a month.”
None of us touch that.
When we get inside, it seems like all the guys have shown up to get a drink, sans the wives, and I’m not sure if this is fate or a scheduled meeting. The Dagwood, the casual place to eat and drink at the farm, is loaded to the ass with hockey players on one side of the room and rich people hovering at tables on the other side, closing themselves off from the peasants and ruffians over here.
Of course, a few of them wave at Carson, Rich, and me while ignoring the rest of my teammates who are below their societal class.
We wave back but take our seats with the team as Matt goes over and does his obligatory greetings, though the official meet and greet will be in a couple of hours.
At our table, the talk starts off with hockey contracts, playoffs, and summer schedules for training.
Talking shop is what we do, but I’m not in the mood for it. I’m not sure what I’m in the mood for, if anything.
My eyes take in the room as a cute little server comes to our part of the massive table. “What can I get you all?”
“I’ll have whatever locally made beer you think is the best,” I say, earning a nod from Cap. “Me too.”
“Me three,” Brady agrees.
“Me four, please,” Matt chimes in as he comes to sit.
“I’ll have a large margarita,” Carson orders. “I started the day with tequila. I should keep the trend going.”
“And I’ll have a gin and tonic, extra lime,” Rich says.
“All right and something to eat?”
“A charcuterie board every four people, please,” Matt orders for us all.
“Of course, Mr. Brimley.” She smiles wider and hurries to the next set of guys.
“So, Mr. Brimley, I have a boner to pick with you.” Brady leans in across the table to Matt. “How come Lori got a complimentary redhead in his gift basket, and all I got in mine was listening to Sami yell at you?”
“That’s the single-player upgrade. As you’re already married according to common law practices in the state of New York. You don’t get one,” Matt answers way too quickly, considering I haven’t told him the story yet. Sometimes he makes my head spin.
Brady takes a minute to let it sink in before he grins. “What if Banks likes redheads too?”
“The complaints department is up my a—”
“Tell me that’s not her,” Brady cuts Matt off and hits me as he stares at the door where the tall drink of strawberry water has graced us with her presence.
“That’s her.”
“She looks like one of the elves off Lord of the Rings,” Rich whispers.
“Holy shit, you weren’t kidding.” Brady stares at me. “You better fuck her. I need details. Look at those legs—she does not miss leg day, my dude. Forty bucks she rips the cock right off you.”
Cap spits a bit of his drink with a snort.
“How do we know her?” Carson’s
eyebrows lift.
“We don’t,” Matt answers quietly.
“She walked into Lori’s room naked earlier.” Brady is obsessed.
All the eyes at the table turn from her to me, even the guys not paying much attention to our section. “No, I was the naked one. She was shouting and fully dressed and in my room. I think she’s kinda high strung.”
“She’s seen you naked already?” Cap cuts in with a dry question as he wipes his mouth.
“Yup.”
“Well, as someone who has seen you naked more than I care to, sorry about your luck, buds.” He’s quick too. “She is not going to sleep with you after seeing that little guy.”
“I’m a grower, Cap. I already told you that.” I constantly have to defend my penis for not getting hard in the public showers in our locker room.
“Mmmhmm,” Brady adds with a disbelieving expression.
“It’s a thing,” I insist, sounding like I’m genuinely worried about my dick size, which I’m not.
“A thing guys with small dicks say,” Rich murmurs, earning a knuckle pound and a laugh from everyone.
“Guys with small dicks need love too. I say go get her,” Carson offers, nudging me. “And I mean, she’s seen it. So she knows all about the disappointment she’s in for.”
The redhead and her friend, a cute brunette, seem uncomfortable and out of place as they try to pick a seat with their eyes.
“Who are they?” I have to ask. This wedding is supposed to be made up of the most exclusive group of people in New York. There’s no way a stranger is here accidentally. Unless she works at the farm, but why would she have a cabin then?
“Not a clue,” Brady and Matt say at the same time with the same tone. They’ve been friends way too long. “Must be friends of Sami’s,” Brady adds.
“No way, I would know her.” Carson eyes the ginger. “She is—sexy.”