by Brown, Tara
“Her name’s Millie.” He follows behind me, grumbling, “There’s a Ben and Jerry’s collection.”
When I find it, I gasp, “Cherry Garcia!” I take it from the freezer and grab a spoon, pulling the lid off and smelling it. “Custard ice cream. God love, Millie.” I take a bite and moan. I’m starved after the game. “Anyway, I should start at the beginning. So you know what you’re getting yourself into. Not that you want to get into anything—” I stop myself and take a deep breath. “I just mean I’m not crazy, there’s been some things going on.”
“Well, if we’re going to be lady friends, get me the Tonight Dough and a spoon.” He sighs and sits on a barstool at the marble counter. I grab him the ice cream and a spoon and sit next to him.
“The week before we met, I took my first vacation in five years and went to my dad’s in Halifax. But like I said before, my stepmom is kinda mean, so I came back to New York early and was going to surprise my boyfriend, Ben.”
“Oh shit, I see where this is going.” He takes a big bite.
“I was bringing him a coffee from his favorite café and it started pissing rain. I dropped my house key in the mud and spilled coffee and mud all over me. I was in the middle of fishing the key out of the mud when his work friend, who he swore up and down he didn’t have a thing with, Aslin—”
“That’s a mean-girl name, for sure. Continue.”
“Right, so she comes out of the house and is talking to him about hearing something, and he tells her to come back to bed. They couldn’t see me because of the barbecue, and I was ducked down by the stairs trying to find the key in the puddle.”
“Damn. Did you bust in and beat some asses?”
“No.” I laugh but it’s a bit of a snort, unfortunately. “I actually left and changed everything. Cell number, Facebook, Insta, everything. WI-FI password, iTunes password, Netflix password. Everything.”
“You ghosted him?” He stops eating and stares. I use the stunned pause to hand him the Cherry Garcia and I take the Tonight Dough.
“Yeah. And then Stan called a few hours later wanting me to take his place at the wedding. I said I couldn’t; I had to apartment shop so I would never see Ben again.”
“That’s aggressive,” he says with a chuckle.
“I was raging, Lawrence. And betrayed and irrational. I agree it’s aggressive but it’s where I was, okay?”
“Yes, please continue.” He motions with his hand and the spoon for me to go on.
“Anyway, Stan was so desperate for me to take the wedding invite—and he’s so rich, he doesn’t think like a normal person—he gave me the apartment.” I glance at him. “No offense.”
“Yeah, I’m actually offended.”
“We barely knew each other when you hired movers to unpack me while I slept off the bottle of champagne you sent, so I don’t care.” I take another bite. “Anyway, crazy-rich person Stan tells me he can take care of the apartment and move me while I’m at the wedding, if I agree to take his place. I tried to fight him on it, but he wouldn’t take no for an answer. He was adamant and I was upset. So when I got to Sami’s wedding, I was having a mini meltdown the day we met. In a bad spot, let’s say.”
“And of course, you didn’t tell me this because it’s insane, and we barely knew each other, and you didn’t want to look like a headcase who ghosts dudes and takes bribes to go to celebrity weddings?”
“Asshole!” I hit him lightly with my spoon, leaving a wet bit of ice cream on his cheek.
His eyes flash revenge, but I’m up running and screaming before he can catch me. Except his house is a maze. He vanishes, no longer chasing me.
My heart is racing as I stop in the foyer and spin, trying to gauge where he’ll come from. A creak makes me turn to the left but he isn’t there. I duck into a closet and wait, breathing heavily.
Minutes pass and I don’t know what to do. I can’t hear him moving in the hallway.
After a long silence, I take a deep breath and push the door open, smiling when I see flower petals on the floor from the closet leading down the hall to the right.
My nerves are still on edge, certain it’s a trap but the littering of white petals, from what appears to be a rose, leading me toward the bedroom, is worth a trap.
And as much as I want to fight this and be rational, I think he might be worth the insanity of letting go and giving in to my feelings. Feelings I can’t recall ever having before.
28
Magic vag
Thursday, July 6
Lori
Sitting in the sunny part of the games room at Matt and Sami’s place in the city, my mind is stuck replaying the night spent with Jenny. Her laugh and the way she played a sexy version of hide and seek still makes me smile.
For the second time, I fell asleep with her in my bed and woke to her gone. She left a note this time, but it didn’t change the casual sex, friends-with-benefits stage we’re stuck at. And for the first time in my life that bothers me.
At least she told me about Ben. The guy must be the biggest loser on earth to let her slip through his fingers.
Mike Smolensky comes and sits next to me, interrupting my thoughts with his presence though he sits quietly for a minute, watching me set up the poker game. We’ve barely seen Mike since his and Liz’s wedding and their move to Florida, but he’s one of those people who you slip comfortably back into your friendship with.
“Did you hear Laramie’s getting traded again? Colorado is sending him to the Oilers.”
“No. Damn,” I mutter. We don’t mention his name loudly in here. Him being the traitor who tried to break things off between Sami and Matt and screwed up their relationship for like a year.
“He’s only a few years in and he’s gone from New York to Colorado and now to Edmonton. That’s a lot of trading in a short career. It suggests he’s problematic.” Mike lifts his brows.
“Can’t imagine the boys in Edmonton are gonna be stoked about that,” I mutter. “I have a couple of friends from BC on the team, and they know the story of him trying to break things off between Sami and Matt.” I lean back and watch for Brady and Matt who are in the other room talking to Sami and Nat. “And while Canadians are nice, they don’t forget something that shitty.”
“Yeah, what happens in the locker room stays in the locker room,” Mike grumbles. “You do not film and leak videos of your teammates getting blow jobs in the shower.”
I change the subject, nervous about bringing up Tandy in this house, “Now that your balls are dangling from Liz’s bracelet, you don’t have to worry about any of that,” I tease.
“Speaking of balls in a knot, you having any luck with that redhead from the wedding?” Mike winks.
“How’s the baby coming along?” I continue, not bothering to answer. I don’t want to jinx anything that’s going on between Jenny and me. Two weeks of nothing terrified me there would never be more. Until last night after the game and her weird story explaining everything, we had fun and the sex blew my mind.
Mike doesn’t take the bait and stays with Jenny as a topic, “That girl can play hockey, huh? All the girls on that beer league team were outstanding. I can’t get over the goalie.”
“No one can. It was pretty crazy. How’s Liz doing?” I try once more, desperate to change the subject before the guys come. Jenny has a way of becoming a hot topic quick, and there’s a solid chance I will never get beyond the friend zone with her.
“I try not to ask her too many questions.” Mike loses the shit-eating grin. “You remember how Sami was?” He lowers his voice, “This is worse, I think. Liz’s been accusing me of cheating on her because I took too long at the grocery store a couple of times. She tracked me on the iPhone app. It’s hell.”
“Are you cheating?” I ask flatly.
“No, dick.” He scoffs. “Her fucking list of demands from the store is insane. I tried mentioning that my mom writes her grocery list according to the route she takes through the store, instead of how Liz has me
running all over hell’s half acre. She didn’t talk to me for three days. She’s mental.”
“Okay, so not that I have a lot of experience with pregnant women,” I admit comfortably, “but maybe don’t recommend anything to her for the next little bit. Just do as you’re told. How hard is that?”
He cracks a grin again. “Okay, lover boy. One day when your balls drop and you manage to get someone knocked up, I’ll remind you of this advice.”
“What advice?” Matt asks as he sits with Brady following behind him.
“Skippy here just told me to do as I’m told and not question or suggest anything to Liz while she’s pregnant.” Mike nods at me.
“Yeah,” Matt agrees, seeming lost on how this is funny. “Question nothing. Offer no advice. Never argue. There’s no point. Pregnant women are crazy. They can’t help themselves. Totally hormonal.”
“Come on, it’s not that bad. Sami seemed all right once you guys were patched up.” Brady takes the deck and shuffles while we wait for Carson and Cap to arrive for the game. “Though I bet Nat becomes a train wreck when we have kids one day. She has that potential hiding below the surface.”
As if on cue, Nat and Sami walk into the games room. “Hey, guys.” Sami beams, looking like a breath of summery air. “What are you talking about?”
“Hockey.”
“Poker.”
“Chips.”
“Pregnancy.”
We all answer at the same time and I’m the only idiot who tells the truth.
Sami’s eyes fix on me, narrowing. “Pregnancy, huh?” She ignores the other answers. “What about it?” She sits on Matt’s lap as he shoots me a dirty look.
“How majestic it is.” My answer is shaky and stupid.
“You’re the worst liar, Lori.” Sami steals a chip and eyes Matt. “Were you bitching about me?”
“No,” Matt says with a laugh. “Not a chance. We all know Lori would rat on me in a heartbeat.”
“His bros before hos is broken,” Brady adds.
Under the bus I go.
“I wish.” Sami scoffs. “He’s barely got time to speak to me since he and Jenny started hooking up. I hardly saw him at the wedding.”
“Oh my God, speaking of weddings, can she be your date to mine? She’s so pretty and perfect for the pictures and atmosphere. She’s fun, ya know?” Nat asks excitedly and my insides take a tumble. “She’s so cool.”
“Ours?” Brady offers. “Our wedding? I’m going to be there too.”
“No!” Sami says, scowling, completely ignoring Brady. “We don’t want Lori to actually date Jenny. She’s way cooler than us. I can’t live with that.”
“Yeah, she is,” Brady agrees, going for the low blow.
“We could always call off our wedding.” Nat lifts an eyebrow at him.
“Whaaaat?” Brady sings with a high-pitched tone and pulls her into his lap.
Mike rolls his eyes at Matt and Brady.
Fortunately, Carson and Cap come in at the same time, saving us from the awkward public displays of affection from Brady and Nat.
“I thought we were playing poker.” Carson wrinkles his nose at Sami and Nat.
“We came to show you these.” Sami pulls an iPad from her oversized handbag and taps on it until she’s at a website for some critic I’ve heard her talk about before. She leans across me, wafting her perfume in the air. “Look!” She swipes to a review of the wedding.
“Someone reviewed our wedding?” Matt asks flatly.
“Of course.” she scoffs. “Like twenty someones. People who actually mean something to the bridal and influencer world.”
I lift the iPad and read, “Ms. Ford’s wedding style reminds us all why we got married and has us wishing we could do it all over again with her as our planner. Not only is Sami Ford’s style something to emulate, it will go down in the records as the little black dress of weddings.”
Sami’s smile is so wide her gleaming white teeth are blinding.
“Congratulations, Ms. Ford.”
“Mrs. Brimley,” Matt corrects, folding his arms. “I thought we agreed you were taking my name.”
“I did legally, but I’m not using it for public consumption. My brand is Sami Ford, it’s who I am. I’m not starting over and Brimley doesn’t sound as sharp as Ford. Sami Brimley is lame.”
“Then why take it at all?” Matt’s voice lowers, which for most people would indicate less aggression. But with Matt, it means he’s ready to boil over.
“Oh man, is that the time?” I say awkwardly as I stand and follow Nat out of the room with Carson on my heels.
“Because you made me take it!” Sami snaps back and it’s on.
“Made you?” Matt growls.
“All right, we’ll leave you two to the foreplay. We can play poker another day,” Brady jokes and walks out of the games room with Mike next to him, closing the double doors as Sami shouts something inaudible.
“That was uncomfortable.” Carson sighs. “Why are they still fighting? They’re married now.”
“I honestly think the fighting is worse since they got married,” Nat murmurs. “Maybe after our wedding she’ll chill out.”
“You guys wanna get something to eat?” Brady asks, his eyes darting back to the fight.
“Yeah, I’m starving.” Nat nods.
“Is Millie home?” Mike asks, lifting an eyebrow at me.
“I could be in for one of Millie’s sandwiches,” Brady agrees.
“Yup.” I chuckle. “My house it is then. You coming too, Nat?”
“Yeah, and I”ll text Liz and tell her to meet us there. She was doing a little shopping.” She winks at Mike who laughs.
“Her and the baby clothes. I told her to wait, she’s been pregnant for a minute.” Mike shakes his head as we walk to the elevator.
“She’s excited. Girls get this way about babies,” Nat says it like she isn’t a girl but might be an expert on them. Half the time I’m convinced she might not be, she acts like such a dude.
When we get to the street, Cap pauses. “I’m gonna jet, see you guys later,” he says as he stares at his phone. “I’ll see you guys later,” he repeats himself and smiles like a complete idiot as he strides away before any of us say anything to him. He’s oblivious to us all.
“Damn, the girls who work at that PR company, man.” Brady glances my way. “Magic vag.”
“No.” I refuse to speak to him about it.
We walk through the park, Mike and Brady acting like idiots as if trying to impress Carson who’s laughing so hard it drowns out the other New Yorkers.
Nat links her arm in mine. “What is the deal with you and Jenny? Spill.”
“I don’t know.” I glance down at her, noting the wide-eyed stare she’s giving me. It’s captivating and forces me to continue speaking, “Honestly, I don’t. She came over last night—”
“That’s why you fled Stan Levisohn’s house before the party even started?”
“Yeah.” I pause, fighting dread. “First, she called her ex from the bathroom—”
“Ex?” Nat interrupts again.
“It’s a whole thing.” I take a deep breath and start at the beginning, “She came home early from vacation to surprise her boyfriend, Ben. Some dick she’s been seeing for like three years. Caught him—”
“Oh shit, poor Jenny.” Nat’s genuinely upset, possibly because she’s lived this version of hell already with that douche bag William Fairfield.
“Yeah. I guess she went off the deep end. Ghosted him. Cut him off from her in every way she could. Friends. Family. Social media. Netflix. Her lease was up so she was moving apartments and Stan helped her out. He had a spot in his building. Moved her if she agreed to go to the wedding in his place.”
“This was the week of the wedding?” Nat stops walking and gives me that soulful stare. The big-sister one she offers me and Rich almost exclusively.
“Yup.” I hate where this is headed. I’ve had this thought already, and getting th
e speech from someone so common sense as Nat makes it much worse.
“Lori, she’s fresh out of a three-year relationship—” She stops as though she’s caught herself. “As someone who has experienced this very thing, my advice is take it crazy slow with her. Unless you want to be the rebound boyfriend who’s only there for the short term while she works on forgetting Ben the Asshole.” She starts us walking again, not at all giving the advice I’d hoped for.
“I don’t know if I’m up for a relationship,” I lie, and the worst part is I know it’s a lie. I can’t stop thinking about her.
“Anyway.” She laughs, obviously aware it’s a lie. “When are you going to see your grandpa?”
“I’m leaving tomorrow. I want to be sure I’m back in time for the wedding.” I nudge her. “I figure ten days before the wedding should be a safe number of days to be home.”
“You don’t want Sami coming to your grandpa’s and dragging you back.” Nat laughs. She’s surprisingly calm about her wedding, though it’s at the end of this month. “For real though, you inviting Jenny to the wedding?”
“That’s a big step,” I admit carefully.
But the truth is I’ve been trying to work up the courage to ask her. My best-case scenario is Stan makes her and Sukii come. In fact, I might mention it to him.
29
Celebrities are like fish, they start to stink the minute you get them home
Jenny
It’s taken me several days but I am back on top of my workload.
All that’s left is meeting Liam Farringdon at the junket tomorrow and ensuring he plays ball with our plan to save his career. His internet isolation has hopefully worked, and he hasn’t seen all the rumors we’ve been spreading about him. And if he has seen them, I hope he thinks it’s tabloid media until I can explain why I did it.
“Hi,” Sukii says as she walks into my office with an iced coffee. “I made you something.”
“I love you.” I take it and stand up from my desk, noting the creak in my hips and knees from sitting far too long.