That wasn’t what happened with my day, however.
I carried my picnic basket up the stairs as my heart slammed against my chest. I wasn’t sure what he would think about a surprise like this, but I hoped he enjoyed it. I made my way to the top of them and looked down, questioning what I was doing. Was this too much? Would he not like the surprise? We’d only had one date, maybe I was going too big too soon. I honestly didn’t know. I’d never wanted to do something like this for a man before. I turned to my left and looked at the door of his office. The one with his name on it. And I heard voices speaking behind it.
Great. He was in a meeting. More time for me to question whether or not this was something I needed to be doing.
There was a chair just beside his door, so I went to sit. I sat the picnic basket between my legs, taking in the space around me. It was a beautiful space, with bluish-gray walls, cream-colored trim around the doors, and spotless windows. It needed a few decorations, but then again, it was a business.
Still, it could have used a little more life.
“Nothing will distract me, do you hear me?” Levi asked.
“I read you loud and clear, all I’m saying is--.”
“Look, work is the most important thing in the world to me right now. Nothing will distract me from getting this job done. Nothing. You have my word on that,” he said.
“No one is saying anything like that, Levi. All we’re wanting you to know is--.”
“No one will ever one up me again. That isn’t something that’s going to happen again. This new contract with Walton’s is going to be successful. I won’t have it any other way.”
Levi sounded upset. Angry, even. I didn’t recognize who he was talking with, but he was obviously passionate about what he was saying. I looked down at the picnic basket as the two voices continued to grow behind the door. Even if he wasn’t talking about what he was talking about, it wasn’t the day to surprise him with something like this. I’d be nothing but a bother. Nothing but another thorn in his side, coming to his place of work unannounced with food he probably didn’t want.
“I don’t know what in the world happened while I was enjoying myself this past Saturday, but it’s not going to happen again. I don’t care if I have to come in every Saturday for weeks on end until it gets done myself. I’ll do it,” Levi said.
My ears perked up at the mentioning of our date night.
“Nothing of what has happened is your fault, Levi. That's what I’m trying to tell you. No one could have prevented this from happening.”
“It doesn't matter. Every other account is safe, and that’s all you need to know. If you needed me Saturday, you should have called me. I would have helped in any way I could have,” Levi said.
I sighed as I got out of my chair. It was painfully obvious I’d never be able to compete with Levi’s career in the cattle industry. I knew we were something new. Something sweet. And I knew we had a connection. But, if he was willing to throw our dates nights under the bus like that, then maybe he wasn’t the man for me. I didn't want everything. I didn’t want his undivided attention twenty-four seven. Just some of his time. And apparently, he was willing to throw all of that time away for work.
Something I’d never be able to measure up to.
The two voices continued behind the door, but I simply made my way for the stairs. I gripped my picnic basket in my hand as I made my way down the stairs, feeling like an absolute idiot. On the one hand, that fight only proved to me the kind of man Levi was. A dedicated man, who worked hard for something he wanted. He had worked for this career his entire life, and he had fought for it tooth and nail. He still was. I had to admire him for that. I wasn’t going to take that away from him. I wasn’t going to demand that he pay attention to me and go out on dates with me rather than growing and taking care of his career, of his cows. I wouldn't want anyone doing that to me. I wouldn't want anyone assuming they could come in and slip between me and my dreams.
But, I also had to refocus my efforts with him.
If we were nothing but a fun fling, then I had a career I needed to focus on as well. No dreaming about Mr. Right. No planning for any sort of a future. No finagling my schedule in case he called for a last-minute coffee or dinner date. I had my job and animals, and that was all I needed. If Levi wanted to meet up every once in a while without any strings attached, that was fine. All I needed to know was when and where. He was a handsome guy. One I had come to respect. Having a nice stress release party under the stars every now and again wouldn't be so bad.
Though it still hurt.
“Any luck, ma’am?” the secretary asked as I walked past her on my way out.
“He’s in a meeting. I’ll come back another time,” I said.
“Do you want to schedule an appointment?”
“No. I’m okay. Thank you, though.”
I pushed out the door and made my way quickly down the steps. The further I got from the office, the quicker I moved. I didn't want Levi coming out of that meeting and seeing me. I didn’t want him seeing this stupid picnic basket dangling from my hands like some lovesick puppy dog. He wasn’t the one for me, and that was fine. I didn’t have to look like a fool in all of it, though. I’d been out of the game a long time. And judging by our date, Levi had been in the game his entire life. He had probably been sending me signals all night that our date was nothing but a one-time thing. That there were no strings attached in the first place. And I was probably too stupid to see them.
That was what I felt like.
Stupid.
I slipped into my car and put the basket in the passenger seat. I cranked up my car and sped off, keeping my eyes focused out the windshield. I didn’t register the tears brewing in my eyes, nor did I register them falling down my face. I had too much to do. I had to get back to work. Do my thing. Plenty of things to keep my mind off the man I thought was perfect.
Maybe he wasn’t the one for me. That was fine. Things like that happened all the time. But, it didn’t stop the reality from stinging more than it should have. I’d gotten way too attached. That was my issue. I’d attached myself too easily and too soon to a man who had no intentions of attaching himself to me. I had to be more careful next time. I had to learn how to read men better.
Or maybe, just maybe, there wouldn't be a next time.
10
Emily
The day was here. Lauren and Lucas’ wedding day. And it was as beautiful as it was grand. But much to my dismay, Levi hadn’t invited me to it. He hadn’t asked me to be his date, and I hadn’t reached out to ask him to be mine, either. He was one of the groomsmen. Part of the wedding, standing there by his friend. So, maybe that was why he didn’t ask.
Either way, I had been recruited by Lauren to take a few pictures since I was one of the first to RSVP to her wedding and I wasn’t a bridesmaid. She had a professional photographer following her around, but she wanted silly pictures as well. Private pictures she could post instantly on her social media feeds straight from her phone. I drove up the long, winding driveway up to the mansion they had rented for the occasion. It was a gorgeous setting, with lush green grass and roses peppered everywhere. Blush pink and yellow. Their wedding colors. The house was filled with those two colors. The wedding ceremony was out front, and the reception was out back. The perfect combination of sunlight glistening from Lauren’s wedding dress and the twinkling stars overhead for whenever the sun set and the reception really kicked up.
I wondered if this all would be for me someday. .
The massive mansion had white-washed walls on the outside and beautiful marble fountains in the back. The sounds of rushing water could be heard trickling throughout the house as the windows were thrown open to let in the summer breeze. The backyard had tall boxwood hedges and flower trellises. Both of which matched the decorations of the front yard, where Lauren and Lucas would take their vows. The trellises were strung up with blush pink and yellow roses in full bloom. I walked up the grand porch
steps, allowing the smell of apple trees and blackberry bushes in the distance to fill my nostrils.
It was a dream come true for any little girl. A dream I didn’t know I wanted until I arrived.
“Emily! I’m so glad you’re here. I’m ready to start taking pictures, like, immediately. Smile!”
Lauren came running up to me in what looked like a full-body slip. She whipped around and held up her phone and I put on my best smile for the picture. She wasn’t even in her dress yet, and she looked beautiful. Her makeup was done. Her hair was perfectly curled, and her skin was smooth and innocent-like. She snapped a few pictures before she put her phone down, then tossed her arms around my neck and held me close.
“I’m so glad you’re here,” she whispered.
“I can’t wait to see you get married, Lauren,” I murmured.
“Come on. Everyone’s upstairs. I want you taking all of the pictures on my phone. Got it?”
“I got it. Just lead the way.”
She tugged me up the grand staircase and ripped me down the hallway. And at the end of it was a set of double doors where women’s giggling poured from the room. Yellow tulle and yellow silken fabrics wafted everywhere as the bridesmaids stepped into their dresses. And I thought they all looked fabulous. Lauren had allowed each of their bridesmaids to pick the dress design that flattered them the most, so long as the dress wasn’t strapless like hers.
“Say cheese!” I exclaimed.
“Cheese!”
The professional photographer was right beside me, posing them for the photos while I captured the moments in between. The moments when Lauren teared up and she had to redo her makeup. The moments when someone made her laugh and she broke her pose. The moments when the photographer was positioning her veil or curling some of her hair around his fingertip to make it look a little better. The candid moments no one ever caught during a wedding, and I captured as many as I could.
I even left her a little video message on her phone before the ceremony started.
“Lauren, I know this is the happiest day of your life. And I just want to let you know that I love you so much. Your honeymoon is going to be spectacular and your life is going to never feel lonely again. Now, enjoy every moment of this and don’t hold back. He’s stuck with you now. You can let your crazy run wild.”
I finished the video with a wink and saved it to her gallery, then I came out of the bathroom and took one last look at her.
“How do I look?” Lauren asked.
I had no words. Her dress was absolutely perfect. It was simple and elegant, just like her. The silky fabric looked like one tailor-made piece from top to bottom. The heart-shaped bodice supported her chest perfectly before slowly sliding down her curves. Slipping over her hips. Falling all the way to the floor in a trumpet shape before it trailed off in the back with a trail. Her veil was lacy. Handmade by an elderly woman in town who specialized in things like that. The pearl hair clip held it to her head as it fell just past her shoulders, accenting the wild curls her hair had been pinned up into.
“You look incredible, Lauren,” I said.
She ran to me and gave me a hug. I rubbed her back, whispering how proud I was of her. I held up her camera and took one more picture for the road, and then I handed it back to her.
“Let the actual photographer do your wedding ceremony. And I’ll take over again at the reception,” I said.
Then, I picked up her bouquet and handed it to her.
As I sat on the bride’s side of the aisle, my eyes fell upon Levi. He looked dashing in his tuxedo with his cute little bowtie. He stood up there with his hands clasped in front of him, up there with his friends as they watched the ceremony from their perches. I even watched him brush away a tear or two when Lauren started coming down the aisle.
And again, that thought popped into my mind.
Maybe one day this would be me.
I shook the thought away as quickly as it had popped up. None of that mattered right now. Especially not with Levi. Logically speaking, it couldn’t happen with us. Not yet. We’d only been on one date together. I had no idea where things were going between us. I sat there, listening to the ceremony. Listening to Lauren and Lucas take traditional wedding vows they repeated after the pastor that stood with them. But every time my eyes flickered over to Levi, I had that same thought.
I had no idea why in the world my mind was betraying me the way it was.
There was no way it could be us one day. Never. Laying aside the fact that he hadn’t asked me out on another date, I knew damn good and well his career was his most important venture at the moment. No man would give that up for some woman. No man would compromise what he had worked so hard for just to entertain the idea of having a partner. Because I knew I wouldn't. I wouldn’t compromise my career and the life I had built for myself for some man I didn't even know.
It was illogical and unreasonable to think he’d do the same thing.
Lauren and Lucas came down the aisle, hand in hand after declaring their love for one another. As the pastor pronounced them husband and wife, Lucas didn’t waste any time in dipping Lauren over and kissing the hell out of her. It made me grin. And the smile on her face as she came down the aisle made the stress of planning both the auction and the wedding simultaneously all melt away.
I stood off to the side and waited for Lauren and the bridal party to finish up their pictures. Then, she rushed up to me and gave me her phone. I opened up the camera before I threw my arms around her again, then I gathered all the bridesmaids for a sky-high selfie of us all.
And that kicked off the reception.
The sunset backdropped the dancing and the food perfectly. Yellows and pinks and blues raced across the sky, matching the colors of their wedding almost perfectly. I took pictures of it. I took pictures of Lucas and Lauren’s first dance. I took pictures of them kissing underneath the wedding day sunset. I even took pictures of them stuffing their faces full of food. The reception was perfect. The cake was perfect. Seven tiers of spice cake with cherry jelly filling, cream cheese icing, and fondant yellow and blush pink roses for decoration.
I made sure to take lots of pictures of them shoving cake in each other’s faces.
“May I have this dance?”
I heard Levi’s voice in my ear and I whipped my head around. He stood there in his dashing black suit with his hand held out for mine. I looked around, trying to find an excuse not to dance with him. I wasn’t sure if that was something I could do. If it was something I should do.
“I’m sure the pictures can wait a little bit. It looks like you’ve taken plenty this evening already,” Levi said, grinning.
I slipped Lauren’s phone into the pocket of the dress and took Levi’s hand. He pulled me out onto the dance floor as the twinkling lights of the reception ignited in his eyes. He slipped his hand around my waist. He gripped me a little tighter than I would have imagined he would. He suspended my other hand into the air, wrapped up in the warmth of his as he gazed into my eyes.
“You look beautiful tonight,” he said.
“You don’t look so bad yourself,” I said.
“I thought the ceremony was beautiful. Especially with all the roses.”
“I think I would have gone with lilies and orchids, but that’s a personal preference.”
“Already educating me on your dream wedding?” he asked with a smirk.
“No. Simply giving my own personal reaction,” I said.
“Such a logical woman. I enjoy that about you, you know.”
“That’s very nice of you to say.”
He spun me out, my dress fluttering around my legs. And when he pulled me back in, my hands fell against his chest. He wrapped his arms around me, holding me to him as he smiled down into my face. I kept my wits about me, not wanting to fall too deep into his soft brown eyes.
Though I couldn't deny the beauty of the sky in his stare.
“Care for another dance?” he asked as the song wound down.
“I’m sure I could spare another one,” I said.
One song poured into two, and two poured into four. Soon, an hour had passed by and the two of us had been dancing and swaying against one another’s bodies. Even though we hadn’t gone to the wedding as dates, it seemed as if we had ended up as one another’s dates. He spun me underneath the stars and danced me around the floor. The twinkling lights that had been strung up around the house and the porch kicked in, casting a white and yellow glow over the entire reception area. I smiled at the dreamy picture around me. At the lights overhead before the stars took over just beyond their sight.
Then, I felt Levi’s gaze on my face.
“I couldn’t have dreamt for a better dance partner,” he said.
And when I felt my knees beginning to weaken, I knew I had to get away from him. I knew I had to take a break. Because if I didn’t, I’d fall for him again. Over and over, tumbling into his strong embrace and his beautiful stare while he prioritized work over me.
I couldn't let that happen.
I couldn't let my heart break on one of my friend’s greatest days.
11
Levi
“Well, I think this dance partner needs a drink,” Emily said, smiling.
“Or a decent foot rub.”
I looked over and saw Lauren coming for us. She smiled at us as Emily stepped away, but I slid my hand down to hers and held it within mine.
I wasn’t quite ready to give her up yet.
“Let the poor girl go get a drink. Maybe I can cut in for a second?” Lauren asked.
“Of course. It’s your wedding after all. Levi, do you want anything?” Emily asked.
“Just for you to come back soon,” I said, grinning.
I threw her a wink and she giggled, then I released her to the open bar for the night. Lauren came over and held her hand up, and I promptly slipped my hand around the middle of her back. I took her hand and led her across the floor, turning her out and bringing her back in. She smiled and laughed, showcasing that newfound wedded bliss. “The wedding was beautiful, Lauren,” I said, smiling.
Take It Slow Page 5