“I'm Levi.” He gives her a big smile.
“Are you dating Miranda or something?”
“Uh, no.” His cheeks heat, he glances over at me. I cover his hand with mine and give it a gentle squeeze.
“We’re not dating. We’re just friends right now.”
“Right now?” Levi’s face lights up. I shrug my shoulder.
“Never know what could happen.” I say softly.
“Just friends, for right now.” A smile spreads across his face, making him even cuter than normal.
“Miranda used to date Liam.” Macy says in a snotty tone.
My gaze finds Liam, he’s already staring at me. His gazes full of pain and hurt.
He’s not allowed to be hurt, he’s the one that pushed me away. He told me to get out, not the other way around.
“Really?” Levi looks back and forth between Liam and I.
This has to be uncomfortable for him. He’s played football with Liam for years, they're buddies.
“Yeah, we dated for a very short period of time. Then Liam told me it was over and now I’ve moved on.” My voice holds more confidence than I feel. “I’m kinda tired of studying, do you wanna go downstairs and watch a movie with me? We can take the pizza down there and hang out.”
“Sure. I think this should be enough for me to study tonight.”
“Take the timeline with you, I don’t want you trying to copy it and hurting your wrist more.”
“You sure you don’t need it?”
“Positive.”
We leave Liam and Macy upstairs, taking the pizza with us. I sit in the center of the couch, forcing Levi to sit next to me.
“Is this weird for you?” Levi asks softly.
My gaze flies to him, his question surprises me.
“What do you mean?”
“Is it weird for me to be here when Liam’s upstairs?”
“No. Don’t worry about him.”
“You haven’t moved on, Miranda.”
“I know, but I'm trying to.”
Levi stares at me for a few moments before he says anything else.
“I’m gonna be honest, I like you a lot. I have since you moved here but I didn’t want to attack you the second I got to know you... Then I wasn’t sure what was going on between Liam and you... You guys always seemed like you were in an argument. I kinda just assumed you hated each other.”
I throw my head back and laugh. Liam and I have always been at each other’s throats. Between that and him constantly telling everyone he hates me; I'm not surprised Levi came to that conclusion.
“Nah, we actually only dated for a short period of time. We hated each other in the beginning. I wanted to become friends and he pushed me away. Eventually, things happened and we became close. One day we kissed and we dated until he told me we were over.”
I shrug, my gaze staying locked on my hands. I’ve never been broken up with before. I was always the dumper, never the dumpee, but that isn't what bothers me about Liam and I breaking up.
It was how easily he called quits on our relationship. He didn’t care about my reasoning behind my actions. I didn’t have a choice. I had to call the cops; I wasn’t willing to risk his life.
“You love him, huh?”
“I don’t want to.”
“But ya still do.”
“Maybe a little bit. I hate him so much though.”
“You know the saying, there’s a very thin line between love and hate. It’s so easy to hate the people who mean the most to us. Do you think you guys could work things out and get back together?”
“I don’t know.” I whisper. “I'm not sure I want to.”
“Why not?”
“He hurt me worse than I’ve ever been hurt and that’s saying a lot. He was the first guy I ever let in and he’s the first guy to ever push me away. Normally I break up with boyfriends before they can get too close but I welcomed Liam into my life with open arms and gave him full access to my heart and mind. I was stupid.”
The first tear slips free, making its way down my cheek. I'm better than this. Better than the girl sitting in a basement crying over the guy who broke her heart to the guy who wants to date her.
“You weren’t stupid, Miranda. You just fell for him quickly.” He wraps his arms around me and pulls me into his chest. I fist his shirt, crying into him like this is normal for me. Levi strokes my hair, continuing to talk. “Sometimes people come into your life and no matter how hard you try to resist them; they turn your world upside down. When they walk away, you’re left trying to figure out which way is up. I think he regrets what he did though. He’s been miserable at baseball practice recently when he was so happy before that. Like unusually happy.”
“Why are you such a good guy?”
“My mama would beat my ass if I wasn’t.” He smirks, making me laugh.
“Thank you for being the literal shoulder for me to cry on.”
“We’re friends, right?”
“Definitely.”
“You know, even if we’re only ever friends, that’s still ok. I'm not trying to push you into anything, I just like hanging out with you.”
“I like hanging out with you too.” I say softly.
We pick one of Frankie and Noah’s stupid Disney movies and hang out as friends.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Liam
I TIP TOE DOWN THE basement steps. I need to see what’s going on between the two of them. My chest aches at what I find. How much abuse can my heart take before it stops beating?
Levi gathers Miranda into his arms, stroking her hair as he whispers in her ear. She seems so comfortable with him.
Shit, I’m losing her so much faster than I expected to. I thought it’d be easier than this to get her back. I thought I could just apologize and she’d forgive me. Apparently, I was wrong. Miranda’s so stubborn, she’ll push me away even if she still wants me.
I turn on my heels and tip toe back up the steps.
“Are you seriously spying on her?”
Frankie’s voice startles me.
“Holy shit, Frankie!”
She laughs, I clutch my chest, wondering if eighteen is too young to suffer from a heart attack.
“Why are you spying on her and Levi?”
“She won't talk to me. She hates me. I really thought she’d forgive me, I'm an idiot.”
“Yeah, you are.”
She crosses her arms over her chest and raises an eyebrow at me, leveling me with the best mom look I’ve ever seen.
I don’t move a muscle or say a word. I didn’t expect Frankie to agree with me at all.
“You know about her parents, right?”
“Just that they don’t really care about her.”
“Oh, it’s so much more than that. They were decent in the beginning. As loving as they could be, which wasn’t much to begin with but they at least tried a little... Once Miranda started her freshman year of high school, that’s when things started with Max’s depression and cutting. Her parents started pushing them away... both of them. It was like because they didn’t have the perfect son, they didn’t want either of them anymore. When Max left for college, things only got worse. They’d completely given up on trying to be parents by that point. Miranda tried so hard to make them proud, to do everything perfectly, but she could never make them happy.”
“Why did she bother trying?”
“Because as much as she wants to hide it, all that girl has ever wanted is for someone to love her for her. She doesn’t want conditional love; she doesn’t want perfection. She just wants to be loved, flaws and all... She’s never been in as serious of a relationship as she is with you.”
“Why?”
“She kept them all at a distance and broke it off before they could get too close or she could get too attached. You were the first guy she’s ever let in, the first she ever uttered those three little words to... And your love...”
“Was conditional.” I whisper. Reality crashes i
nto me like an eighteen-wheeler. I struggle to suck in a full breath, my heart hammers against my ribs. I couldn’t have fucked things up more if I tried. “I loved her and wanted her as long as she played by my rules but the second she didn’t, I pushed her away.”
Frankie gives me a sad smile, nodding her head slightly.
“I was just mad. I didn’t know how to handle everything that was going on and I took it out on her. I’m an idiot.”
“I thought we already agreed you’re an idiot.” Frankie smirks, I glare at her.
“What are we talking about?” Noah saunters into the room. He stands behind Frankie and pulls her back against his chest, wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing her neck.
“How Liam’s an idiot.” Frankie speaks up.
“Oh, ‘cause he took out his anger on Miranda and pushed her away when none of it was her fault at all?”
“Yup! That’s exactly what we were discussing!”
“I hate both of you.” I grumble under my breath.
“Nah, you love us. I hear you’re gonna live with us next year too.” Noah wiggles his eyebrows.
“Do you really think I'm going to live with my married best friends and an ex? I don’t think so.”
“What are you gonna do? You won't be able to afford college and living expenses for Macy and you.”
“I don’t know. I might not be able to go to college. I’ll figure it out.”
“Don’t let this thing between you and Miranda ruin your future.” Frankie urges. “She’ll still let you live with us. Miranda might not forgive easily, but she has a big heart and a massive soft spot for Macy.”
“I hurt her, Frankie. You both have told me that. She’s made it clear she doesn’t want to talk to me, how am I supposed to live with her? I can't do that to her. She deserves better.”
“Yes, she deserves to be happy but you don’t get to assume what makes her happy. Maybe having you with us will make her happier than anything else.”
“Oh, come on, Frankie! She’s barely spoken to me in weeks. She doesn’t want a thing to do with me.”
Throwing my hands up in the air, I pace back and forth, tugging on the ends of my hair in frustration. I need to figure out how to make her forgive me. I need her back in my life.
“Have you ever stopped to think maybe she’s hurt and embarrassed. She doesn’t deal with emotions well; her response is always anger or sarcasm. She doesn’t know how to handle anything else. She can't joke about this because she’s upset so she went with anger.” Noah folds his arms over his chest, scowling at me.
It’s like having the old Noah back, the pre-Frankie version I was used to. Now, seeing him scowl at me like that, it makes me feel worthless, like I'm a total disappointment.
“And how am I supposed to fix it, Noah? You like to act like you’re her BFF, so how do I fix it? Because I’d do just about anything to get that girl back!” I motion to the basement steps.
My chest rises and falls quickly, adrenaline coursing through my body, anger filling my veins. I want my girl back. I need Miranda, she has this ability to calm me in a way no one else can.
When I have a good day, I want to come home and hang out with her. I want to cuddle on the couch, kiss her plump lips and laugh the night away. In the morning, I want to hear that sexy raspy voice she gets. When I have a bad day, I want to come home and vent to her. I want her to gather me in her arms, whisper that everything’s going to be ok and she’s always going to be there for me. No matter what happens in my life, she’s the one I want to share it with.
“Stop telling her you’re sorry and show her.”
“What the hell does that even mean?”
“Stop apologizing and just be her friend. Go back to how things were before you destroyed her heart. Invite her to hang out or to a party. Take her out for dinner or to the movies. Just be friends with her. She’s not going to turn away a friend, she doesn’t know how to.”
“That’s true.” Frankie says softly. “When she decides to let you into her life, she doesn’t know how to let you go. It’s why she broke up with all her boyfriends before it got serious, then she could stay friends with them and didn’t have to risk losing them completely. She didn’t make it awkward; she’d hang out with them like they were any other friend. As much as she wants to hate you, Miranda doesn’t know how to hate anyone but the Bianca’s of the world.”
I scrub a hand over my face and let out a sigh. They don’t get it, they can't.
“You guys don’t get it; I can't stand by and watch her date someone else. I fucking love her.”
“Ahh, so you mean like when you tried to date Frankie?”
“That was different!”
“Was it though? I was in love with Frankie, had been since we were kids and I had to watch my best friend try to make a move on her. It hurt like hell to let her make the decision on who she wanted to date, but I stood back and let her do it. I wasn’t going to force her into a relationship with me.”
“But she chose you!”
“I did, but it wasn’t an easy decision at the time. You’re an easy person to love, Liam. I chose Noah because I didn’t have a heart to give you. Noah’s owned my heart since we were five, I had nothing to offer you as long as he was in the picture. It had nothing to do with you, don’t you get that?”
“I'm going for a walk; I need to think.”
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Miranda
BY THE TIME LEVI LEAVES it’s dark outside. I walk him out and give him a hug goodbye. I loved hanging out with someone outside of Frankie, Noah and Liam. It was nice to escape from our little bubble for a while, especially now that things are strained between Liam and I. It’s awkward, Frankie and Noah make it worse. They want to help us get back together, which is a nice gesture... if I wanted to get back together with him. But I'm not quite sure that’s what I want anymore.
Liam’s been pushing me away since day one. I don’t know why I thought things would be different with us dating. The first sign of trouble, he pushed me all the way out of his life. I’d be stupid to let him back in now. He’s just going to do it again.
When I come back inside, I go through the dark living room and head to the steps.
“You’re killing him.” A deep voice says from the dark.
I let out a shriek, my hand flying to my chest. A tableside lamp flickers on, my eyes narrow when I find Noah sitting on the couch. He’s stretched out on the cushions, hands behind his head like he’s relaxing.
“And you almost killed me! What the fuck is wrong with you!”
“I was waiting for Levi to leave.”
“So, you had to do that in the dark?” I hiss.
“Nah, I thought it’d be more fun to scare you. I wasn’t wrong.”
“When I stab you in your sleep, you’ll realize how wrong you were, Vaccaro.”
“You’d never stab me in my sleep. You could break a nail.”
“Oh, ew, that would totally suck. Ok, fine! I won't stab you in your sleep but I'm not happy with you right now.”
“Well, that’s understandable. I just scared the fuck outta you.” He gives me a crooked smile.
“Damn you and those adorable dimples.” I moan, dropping down onto the couch next to him. He barely moves his feet before I fall where they just were. My head rests against the back of the couch, my gaze on the ceiling. “Now, who am I killing?” I roll my head to the side, my eyes lock on Noah.
“Liam.”
“Can we not? Like I don’t wanna do this right now... or ever really. I could totally live a happy life without this conversation ever happening.”
“Ehh, but I wanna have it, so let’s do it. Let’s just get it over and done with.”
“I'm going to bed.”
I try to stand but the massive man I no longer wish to call my friend, wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me back down.
“Nope. You’re gonna listen.”
“I'm not talking.” I fold my arms over my chest
, put on my best pout and let out an obnoxiously loud sigh. Noah snorts with laughter.
“We both know you can't not talk.”
“Levi’s gonna be my new bestie.” I raise an eyebrow and give him a cocky look.
“You wouldn’t fucking dare!”
“He’s kinda cuter than you too.” I say in a sing song voice. “He even has dimples.”
“You’re such a liar.” He says slowly, his eyes narrowed on me.
“Am I though? Or are you being replaced?”
“You can't replace me! I'm your bestie! Remember #TeamNoahForever!”
“Levi needs love too; you have Frankie to love you. Who does Levi have?”
Knowing I’ve distracted Noah from the topic of Liam, I stand up, rushing up the stairs and into my room.
“For the record, I have adorable dimples too!” He shouts from his spot on the couch.
I silently shut the door and turn the lock, letting out a sigh of relief. I was worried he’d follow me up.
I go into my bathroom, brush my teeth, wash my face and throw my hair in a bun. I tug my shirt over my head as I walk back into my bedroom.
“Ew, keep your shirt on!” A deep voice rumbles.
I shriek for the second time tonight, lose my balance with my shirt still covering my face and fall to the ground.
“I fucking hate you, Noah!” I groan in pain.
Strong hands grab me, lifting me onto the bed. I pull my shirt back down and rub the sore spot on my head.
“That’s gonna leave a bruise.” Noah winces. “I'm sorry, I didn’t want you stripping down in front of me.”
“Oh, how silly of me! I should’ve thought to make sure you weren’t being a creeper and hanging out in my bedroom. The same bedroom I just left five minutes ago and it was empty with the door locked. I shoulda checked before I started getting changed for bed. How stupid of me?”
“I mean, that’s all I'm saying. You should really check before stripping.” He shrugs then winces again; his voice softens a little. “I really am sorry. If I’d known you were gonna fall, I woulda let you show me the goods.”
Never Giving Up (The Never Series Book 2) Page 11