“No one does, not even Frankie. I haven’t had one in a really long time.”
“When did you start getting them?”
“After Max almost died. I found him bleeding out in a pool of his own blood. If I hadn’t held pressure, they said he would’ve died. I had to go through therapy and had a lot of panic attacks when I didn’t know where he was. I was terrified of him cutting again, this time doing unrepairable damage. He was all I had, the only person who cared about me.”
“I'm sorry, babe.” I wipe away a tear that escapes. “I’ll do whatever I have to do to help you, Mira. I love you; I'm not going to stop. I’m never giving up on you. I'm gonna keep fighting for you until you give me a second chance.”
“What if I don’t want to give us a second chance?”
I don’t breathe, don’t blink, don’t move a muscle. I stare into the eyes of the woman I love, finding the shattered heart I caused, the lonely little girl who just wants someone to love her unconditionally.
“What if I can't live without you? What if I’ll never find someone else that drives me crazy like you do? What if I'm miserable for the rest of my life because you won't let me love you? Please, Miranda, I can't lose you. I’ll forever wonder if we gave up on a once in a lifetime love and so will you.”
“I need some more time.”
“Ok, but I'm not going anywhere.”
“I’m not asking you to... I don’t want you to.”
Chapter Thirty-Three
Miranda
MR. MICHAELS BLABS on and on about... something... science related; I think. Flipping my text book over, I confirm I am indeed in science class. I hate everything about it. I'm antsy, anxious and I just want to leave. Maybe run a mile or two.
Liam grabs my notebook, pulling it out from under my arm. He scribbles across the paper and hands it back to me.
What’s wrong?
I let out a sigh, how do I explain this to him? It’s like sitting still for one second longer is going to kill me. Like every cell in my body is aching for me to get up and move.
Nothing, I’m fine.
I slide the notebook in front of him. He doesn’t give it back right away. I glance over and find him scribbling out something on the back cover. He writes something above it, then hands it back.
Miranda hates Liam, he crossed off hates and writes loves. Miranda loves Liam.
I roll my eyes and try to turn my attention back to Mr. Michaels. I swear he should work in a sleep study facility; he could put the patients to sleep in seconds. After a few minutes of my fidgeting, Liam taps my notebook until I glance down at it.
What’s wrong?
He points to his question from earlier. He isn't going to give up until I tell him the truth. I angerly grab my pen, scribbling my answer with a huff.
I have to get out of here.
He gives me a single nod, then raises his hand. Mr. Michaels attention snaps to him immediately.
“What’s wrong, Mr. Hayes?”
“Miranda isn't feeling well, can I take her to the nurses office?”
“And why can't Ms. Carmichael go by herself?” He sighs in irritation.
“Well, she passed out this morning and I'm worried she might do it again, she says she’s dizzy. But you’re right, Mr. Michaels, I’m sure she can handle walking to the nurse’s office alone. I just hope she doesn’t fall and hit her head... or pass out and no one finds her until after this class is over. That would be a shame.”
“Mr. Hayes, are you part of the drama club?”
“Nope, football and baseball are where my heart resides.”
“You might want to look into it, you seem to love being dramatic in my class.”
“I guess my love of science makes me dramatic.” He smirks.
“Take your girlfriend to the nurse.”
“I’m not-“ I start to argue but Liam’s wide eyes seem to be telling me to keep my mouth shut.
He gathers my books and throws my school bag over his shoulder. When I stand, he scowls at me.
“You’re supposed to be dizzy, play along.”
I roll my eyes then pretend to sway on my feet, clutching his arm to keep myself steady.
“Ms. Carmichael, don’t insult me with your horrible acting skills. Walk out of the damn class with some dignity.”
I hold my chin high, stride down the aisle and out the door without saying a word. I didn’t think Mr. Michaels would be this cool with us leaving his class when he knows we’re lying.
“I can't believe he called you out.” Liam burst out laughing when we’re far enough away from the door.
“Oh, shut up, you were just as bad as me... now what are we supposed to do?”
“Come with me, I have a plan.”
He grabs my hand and pulls me down the hall towards the front office.
“You know I don’t actually need to see the nurse, right? Like I feel fine.” He chuckles and shakes his head.
“Yeah, I know. Do you trust me?” When I don’t answer right away, Liam stops, causing me to bump into him. He turns, staring down at me, his brows furrowing together. “Do you trust me, Mira?”
“Yes, I trust you.” I whisper.
“Good. You can always trust me.” He leans down, placing a gentle lingering kiss on my forehead before grabbing my hand and pulling me along again.
When we’re standing outside of the front office, Liam tells me to wait here, then he disappears inside.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Liam
“LIAM? WHAT DO YOU NEED, sweetie?” Mrs. Vaccaro’s soft voice meets me the second I walk in the door.
“Hey, Mrs. V... I need a favor.” I rub the back of my neck, glancing around. The office is practically empty, but I take a few steps to close the distance between us. I lean on the counter, suck in a deep breath and let it out.
“Oh my gosh, Liam. Just ask me, no need to be so dramatic.” She chuckles, rolling her eyes at me.
I absolutely love Mr. and Mrs. Vaccaro. Since I moved in with them, they’ve treated me just as well as they treat Noah, sometimes even better because I'm actually home. Noah spends most of his time glued to Frankie’s hip, not that I'm judging, I’d be glued to Miranda’s hip if I weren’t afraid she’d punch me.
“Can you give Miranda and I early dismissal passes?” I give her my best puppy dog look, praying she says yes.
“Why do you need to leave early?” She arches an eyebrow. “I thought you two broke up.”
“We did. She still hasn’t forgiven me... but we’re friends... She’s going through some things and she just needs some time away from classes. We’d only miss two periods; I promise we’ll make up all the work.”
“And where exactly are you going?” She gives me her mom look.
“I wanted to take her to the lake, get her to relax for the afternoon.”
“What about Macy?”
“Mrs. Valdo’s taking her shopping after school.” A small smirk spreads across her face as she eyes me.
“You’re a good guy, Liam. I’m proud of you, you’ve stepped up and are taking care of your sister the best you can, you’re trying to right your wrongs. You’re turning into an amazing man.”
“None of it will matter if she doesn’t take me back.” I say softly.
“Aww, sweetie, she’s hurt. Nothing breaks quite like a heart does and you broke hers. But on the bright side, nothing can be put back together quite like a heart can. You can fix her heart, make it even stronger than it was before. It will take time, trust and love, but you can do it.”
“I’ll do whatever it takes, I love her.”
“Good. Go get your girl and give her an afternoon she won't forget.”
Mrs. V hands me two slips of blue paper, shooing me out the door. I step into the hallway and find Miranda sitting on the floor with her back against the wall, arms resting on bent knees and her head down. I squat down next to her, rubbing her back in slow circles.
“You alright, Mira?”
S
he shakes her head but doesn’t lift it. My heart breaks every time this woman is upset, I’d do anything to make her happy and smile again.
“What’s wrong?”
She shakes her head again. I glance at the clock on the wall, we have three minutes until class ends and the hallways fill with students. She isn't going to want people to see her like this. She likes to present this strong, unbreakable mask to the world, but that’s not who she is. She hides behind her sarcasm, wit and stubbornness. In reality, she’s this broken girl, begging to be loved and cared for, she wants to be seen. But I love and care for her, I see her and I’ll do everything in my power to put her broken pieces back together again. I won't let her down a second time.
“Mira, we have to go, classes will be out in two minutes.” Another shake of the head. “Can I carry you to the car?” Finally, she nods her head.
Sliding my hands under her, I tug her up and into my arms, just like I’d do to my sister. She wraps her arms and legs around me, burying her head in my neck, just like Macy.
Miranda and Macy are my only weaknesses in this world. I’d do anything for either one of them.
When we reach the car, I drop our bags on the hood and search through Miranda’s for her keys, never loosening my hold on her. I unlock the car, place her into the passenger’s seat and buckle her in. Within moments, we’re on the road and headed for the lake.
I don’t try to talk to her or push her to do anything. I rest my hand on her thigh, gently rubbing my thumb across the skin showing through the rip in her jeans. I want to know what’s going through that pretty little head of hers but I'm not going to push her.
It doesn’t take long to get to the lake. I hop out of the car, leading Miranda to the small dock with my hand on her lower back.
We silently plop down on the edge, my legs dangling over the side, just above the water. She loops her arms around her bent knees, her chins rests on top. Her hair blows in the soft breeze, she stares across the water without making a sound.
I scoot closer to her, trying to be a strength she can lean on. She doesn’t acknowledge me, just keeps staring ahead. I don’t know how to help her when she won't let me in.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Miranda
A SOFT WIND RUSTLES the leaves above me, blowing my hair away from my face. It would be slightly chilly if Liam wasn’t sitting so closely, the heat from his body warms me enough to keep away a shiver.
He’s been surprisingly quiet. No questions about what’s going on with me, he’s giving me space and time, while being by my side.
“Thank you.” I softly whisper after half an hour of silence.
“You’re welcome.”
He doesn’t move his gaze from the water and neither do I. It’s like it has this calming power, bridging the gap between us.
Liam doesn’t say more. He leans on his hands, dropping his head back to stare up at the sky.
“You’re not gonna ask what’s wrong?”
“Nah, if you want me to know, you’ll tell me when you’re ready.”
“How does that not bother you?”
He finally meets my gaze; his eyes search my face for a few moments before a lopsided smirk graces his lips.
“Baby, I learned recently, I can't force you to do something you don’t want to do. If I push, you’ll hold out longer. So, I’ll sit next to you and wait. You know I’m here for you when you’re ready, that’s all that matters.”
“Why do you want to be with me?”
“What do you mean?” His brows furrow, he sits up straighter, turning his body slightly so he can face me. One leg still dangles over the dock, the other is tucked under his opposite knee.
“I’m broken, damaged...” My gaze moves back to the lake, finding comfort in the smooth surface. I can't believe no one’s here today. “People don’t care, they just pretend to.”
“I care. I care so fucking much it hurts.” His husky voice holds so much unexpected emotion, my eyes begin to tear. “What have I done to make you believe anything else?”
“You pushed me away.” I whisper, the first tear slips down my face, I tighten my hold around my legs.
“That had nothing to do with you and everything to do with my own stupidity. I was... I was scared... terrified I was going to lose Macy. I was so angry at my mom for leaving us, at my dad for breaking and becoming this monster. I was angry I became my sister’s protector, parent and care giver. I took all of it out on you... and that wasn’t right. I’m so sorry, Mira. I’d apologize every day for the rest of my life if I thought it’d make a difference. Tell me what I can do to fix this.”
“I don’t know.” My eyebrows scrunch together, I glare at the bench on the opposite side of the lake. I shouldn’t be mad at Liam, logically I know that, but I can't stop the anger.
“Why did you always break up with your boyfriends? Frankie said you broke up with them early on, they all begged for you to take them back but you wouldn’t. You stayed friends with all of them though. Why?”
I shrug my shoulder. I know why I do it, but do I want to share it with Liam?
“You know why, tell me.”
“Why do you want to know?”
“Because I want to be different, I don’t want to be just another boyfriend you cast aside and move on from. I want to be the one that gets to keep you.”
I don’t say a word for a long time. I let the silence wash over us, it’s not tense or awkward like it would be with so many people... it’s just there.
“I broke up with them when I started to have feelings for them.” I whisper so softly, I wonder if he even hears me, but when Liam’s gaze snaps to me, I know he heard me.
“Why though?”
“If I ended it before I felt too strongly, they couldn’t push me away, they couldn’t fall in love, then out of love with me. They couldn’t hurt me if I hurt them first... each and every one of them begged me to take them back... I never gave them a reason for breaking up, I just said it wasn’t working.”
“But... you said you loved me.”
“I did.”
“Why didn’t you break up with me before you fell in love?”
I meet his gaze for the first time. Tears fill my vision, a sad smile spreads across my lips. I glance down at my hands, trying to find a way to explain this to him. Another tear slips free when I turn my attention back to him.
He reaches out a shaky hand, wiping away the moisture on my cheeks. His hand moves to cup my jaw, I lean into his touch, my eyes close and I let out a soft sigh.
“When I met you, I was totally #TeamLiam. I got to know Noah and I quickly realized how much him and Frankie needed each other. But you hated me with this intensity I’ve never felt before. It was like I’d done something massive to upset you. Honestly... it made you a challenge. I wanted to figure out why you hated me so much and force you to be friends with me. I can't explain it.”
I pick up a pebble from the dock and skip it across the smooth surface of the water. I don’t like being this open with someone else, especially someone who hurt me.
“Once Frankie and Noah were officially a thing, I felt more alone than ever. They tried to include me but who wants to be a third wheel with those two?”
“It’s the worst, they’re so lovey dovey.”
I nod absently, so many thoughts and memories running through my mind.
“So... I figured if we could be friends and hang out alone, it would make our lives easier when all four of us hung out. You wanted nothing to do with me though, you made it so clear. That first day I dropped you off after school, you were so mean. I decided you weren’t worth it on my way home; I was giving up on you.”
“I saw you crying, it killed me. I wanted to chase after you but you drove away.”
“Then I met Macy, when I found out you were her brother, things slowly started clicking. I knew there was something special about you, I decided I was never giving up on becoming friends with you. I didn’t want a boyfriend, I just wanted t
o be friends... but you wormed your way into my heart without me realizing it. I was head over heels in love before I realized and it was too late to push you away, so I took the chance and gave you my heart.”
“Then I pushed you away and ruined everything.” He whispers, scrubbing his hands over his face before gripping the back of his neck in frustration.
“You broke my heart.”
“I wanna put it back together again.”
“I’m not sure you can.”
Liam strokes a hand down my cheek, stopping when he reaches my jaw line.
“Let me try, baby.” He rubs his thumb over my bottom lip, his eyes darkening with desire.
“Okay.” I barely whisper before his lips crash into mine.
I let go of my grasp on my legs, bringing a hand to his chest. He grips the back of my neck, his other arm wraps around my waist, pulling me towards him.
Liam lays back on the dock, bringing me down with him. I straddle his body, kissing him like he’s the air I breathe. I can't get enough of this man. His tongue brushes across my bottom lip, I let out a small gasp and he takes that as an invitation, stroking my tongue with his.
When his ringer fills the air, we both moan and break apart. Liam scowls, staring down at the number.
“Hello?... Is she ok?... No, I’ll be right there.” He hangs up with a curse under his breath.
“What’s wrong?”
“Macy threw up at school. I don’t want to leave but I need to go get her.”
“I’m coming with you. We should stop at the store and grab some crackers and ginger ale... shouldn’t they have called Mrs. Valdo though?”
“Mrs. Valdo put me as an emergency contact, she’s making sure I'm involved as much as I can be.”
“That’s great, Liam. I'm glad.”
“It’s all because of you. You made all of this possible.”
Never Giving Up (The Never Series Book 2) Page 14