by Kahlen Aymes
I knew I had her, and I lessened the pressure of my fingers to extend the pleasure as long as I could. I knew how to play her body like a fine instrument, and my heart squeezed that it was still so natural with her.
I kissed her slowly, as both of our bodies came down. I pushed back her blonde hair, wishing it wasn’t quite so dark in the stall. I wanted to see what was behind her eyes. Did this mean anything or was it just sex?
She held on to me, stroking her skin. “That was nice,” she murmured with a soft sigh.
Nice? The word was like a slap in the face. To me, it was like coming home, mind-blowing, and amazing. I’d rather make love to her in a pile of horseshit than have a harem of goddesses at my command, and she said it was nice? What the fuck?
I sighed deeply. Maybe this was just like I’d heard of from my friends. When someone dies, everyone has sex. It’s a thing.
I used my arms to push myself back on my haunches and put my dick back in my pants, and zipped them up. “Yeah, it was nice.”
“River?” Her soft voice filled the stall. That voice could make me do anything she damn well wanted. Then. Now, I had to keep my wits about me. I didn’t need to get fucked over and have my heart broken again. She would leave. I had to keep that fact squarely in front of me.
I found her shorts and panties, then tossed them at her. She sat up and reached for them. There was an awkward silence as she struggled to get them on over her boots. She cursed as the panties caught on the heel. “Shit.”
I didn’t say anything, and I didn’t offer to help. I ran a hand over my face and waited until I could pick up my shirt. She pushed her legs into her shorts and then got to her feet to finish pulling them up and fastening them.
“I’ll walk you to the house.”
She huffed. “Why are you acting so cold? We just—”
Anger that I had suppressed all night exploded inside my chest as I bent to pick up my soiled shirt. I wadded it into a ball and held it in one hand. I interrupted her and thew a glance in her direction. “We just fucked.”
“That’s really nice, River,” she said, storming past me and out of the stall. “Why did you come out here, anyway? All I wanted was to see my horse!”
“Well, you got a bonus,” I said coolly. I stopped by Star’s stall, sliding the door open and going in to retrieve my hat. I shoved it on my head and reversed my steps, closing the door.
“You asshole,” she huffed in disgust. “I thought we had a connection.”
“You’re right. We did. Past tense. What the hell did you think?” I started walking down the corridor toward the end and the small door I’d come in through, feeling like hell. There were big sliding doors on both ends of the building, designed to provide alternate escape routes to get the animals out if there was ever a fire. “That you’d waltz in here and everything would be like it was for a couple of days, and then you’d blast out of here like your ass is on fire, and back to your plastic fucking life?” I was pissed and hurt. Pain ripped through me and burst out in my words. “Not likely.”
“River!” She called, walking fast to try and keep up. “I never thought that!”
“Look, you didn’t want to be with me, I got it. I wasn’t enough. We took a little trip down memory lane, congratulations. Life goes on.”
She stopped behind me, after a gasp. “That’s not fair. You kissed me! I didn’t start it!”
“Uh huh.” I flung over my shoulder. “You started it the minute you decided to come back to Mason, and you know it.”
Chapter Three
Thea
MY EMOTIONS WERE IN TURMOIL.
Last night, River climbed into his truck and drove off, leaving me to go to my room, bewildered and hurt at what happened in the stable. I spent several minutes picking the straw out of my hair and then I ended up crying my heart out in the shower. I felt so close to him. It felt like it used to; like we loved each other just as desperately as we always had.
Methodically, I dressed in old jeans and a top that I’d left here three years ago. I felt guilty. He was right. I left him, I left Uncle Leonard, I left Mason and The Acres because on a shopping trip to Dallas with a couple of my local friends; we were stopped by a Ford Agency scout. She asked me to come to New York for a photo shoot as a test. River went with me, so I thought he was supportive, but it turned out, he never expected they’d want me. I was hurt because I saw it as a lack of faith, and he was hurt because he thought modeling meant more to me than our relationship.
It wasn’t true. I wanted both, but he was filled with anger when I left. I thought he’d come around, but after a few months of stilted phone calls, he stopped making them. I was successful and got busy; traveling all over the world for runway shows and magazine shoots. I even did a couple of music videos. In the blink of an eye, three years had passed and I’d only come home for Christmas once. River was with his family and he refused to see me; even though I’d tried.
I pulled my hair into a high ponytail and left off all makeup. It was nice not to have to bother. I was hungry, and on the way down the stairs, I heard River’s voice talking to a woman. It wasn’t Marina, who, undoubtedly was primping to the nines. She’d set her sights on River and she didn’t have a clue about our past relationship. I guess I couldn’t blame her, but I knew her and she’d screw anything with a cock and he had an amazing one. I prayed River wouldn’t take her up on what would become an obvious offer. I dreaded watching it play out and I could only hope he’d respect me enough to refuse her. I could tell him flat out to stay away from her, but thinking it would hurt me might make him go for it even more. He seemed so full of anger, and I couldn’t give him any more ammunition.
I walked slowly down the stairs; the last few steps trying to figure out who he was speaking to.
“Thanks for the food,” he said casually. “That was nice of you, Suz.”
Suzy fucking Welling.
He was calling her Suz? I didn’t like the familiarity it suggested.
My breath left in an agitated huff. She was my arch nemesis in high school, in ten different ways. She was always after him, even when it was well known we were a couple. I couldn’t help hoping she’d gotten fat and dumpy. My Aunt Frita would frown on those thoughts, but I couldn’t help it.
“Good morning,” I said as I turned the corner from the bottom of the stairs and walked through the archway to the kitchen. There was coffee brewing and I went over to pull a cup down from the cupboard above the pot.
Suzy’s head snapped around at my entrance, and she had a very surprised look on her face. She was dressed casually in nice shorts and a V-neck top, putting something in the oven as if she owned the place. I couldn’t help but notice how her too-tight shirt clung to her overly large breasts. I rolled my eyes inside my head. It was probably two sizes too small on purpose. She was pretty, in a slutty, packed-in sort of way.
“Oh,” she said, shock written all over her face.
I turned around and leaned on the counter, lifting the cup of black coffee to take a sip. My eyes glanced off of River to lock with Suzy’s. Her hair was shorter than mine, and mousier. She could do with some high and low lights, I thought cattily.
“You’re here.”
So, River hadn’t told his new squeeze that I was in town. My eyebrows shot up. “I’m here.” I agreed, snark lacing my voice. I took another sip of my coffee. “My uncle died. Of course, I’m here.” Bitch, my mind added.
River’s deep blue eyes flashed to mine, warning me not to start something he’d have to finish.
“Well, you just never come home. But then, New York is your home now, isn’t it?”
“It’s so nice of you to keep track of me like that,” I responded, sarcasm dripping from each word.
“Yes, well, I’ve been around and I hear things about you. Someone has to take care of River,” she said suggestively.
I huffed out a laugh. “Were you taking care of my uncle, too?”
Suzy’s eyes flashed angrily. “You know w
hat I mean,” she dismissed. “Two hardworking men need home cooking and this place needs a woman’s touch. I help clean up the place and I bring food over once in a while.”
The place hadn’t changed one whit since my aunt’s passing, so she was clearly grasping for ways to explain it. “How sweet and unselfish,” I said coyly, pulling out a chair and sitting down. “I’m sure you have no ulterior motive at all.”
“I made eggs and bacon. It’s in the warmer until the coffee cake comes out.”
My stomach rumbled and I needed to eat. “If there is enough. If not, I can make something for myself and Marina.”
“Marina?” Suzy asked with hopeful interest. “Do you have a child?”
I laughed. Obviously, she wasn’t keeping such a close eye on me after all. “Marina is a friend.” River looked amused. He was watching me and I knew he hoped I was jealous. “She asked River to take her horseback riding this morning. I’m going to the funeral home.”
“She did?”
I raised my eyebrows and pursed my lips. Both elbows were resting on the table as I lifted my cup with both hands. I nodded. River’s mouth flattened into a straight line. He was leaning his hip on the counter, just observing.
As if on cue, Marina came down the stairs. She was fully made up and wearing some tight leggings and a top that hung off one shoulder, leaving it bare. It was clear that she had foregone a bra. She had on some chunky heels, that looked great with leggings but certainly weren’t suitable for riding.
“Morning!” She said, coming forward and offering her hand to Suzy. “I’m Marina!”
“I’m Suzy.”
I didn’t think I could take watching the blatant female preening in front of River. Both of them were so damn obvious, it made me sick. Suddenly, I wasn’t hungry. I pushed back my chair and took my cup to the sink. “I think I’ll go,” I said, turning away and picking up my purse off of the table in the entryway.
“I thought you were hungry,” River stated.
“I’ll grab something in Mason.”
“I wanted to talk to you about the barbeque.” He came toward me, locking eyes with mine. He didn’t have his hat on and he was freshly showered. Clearly, he’d stayed at the house. Regret filled me that he was under the same roof and not in my bed, but then I reminded myself how different things were now.
I paused and glanced back at Suzy. Marina was getting coffee and rambling on in an attempt at a conversation, but Suzy’s curious gaze followed me and especially River.
He followed me the few feet out of the kitchen and to the front door. “Do you want me to come with you? I’ve already seen him, and the visitation is tonight. You could wait, until then, if you’d like, too.”
I shook my head defiantly. “I’m good. I’m not some damsel in distress. You can stay here and play with these two. I don’t need to watch.”
“I never told Marina I’d take her horseback riding.”
I flung my large handbag over my shoulder and shrugged “I know, but she has a way of getting what she wants. Just don’t let anyone ride Star.”
“The exercise would do her good.”
“I’ll take her out later.”
“You’re gonna give her a one-off, too?”
He was such a fucker. He knew right how to slice me to the bone.
“Yeah. And, maybe while I’m gone you can take both of your horny babes to the stable for a threesome.” I threw him the offhanded challenge casually, knowing it would piss him off. “But, you’ll definitely need a bigger shirt,” I shot at him with defeated contempt.
His expression hardened and his jaw jutted out in fury. I turned to leave and his hand closed around my arm at the elbow to stop me. His deep blue eyes flashed sharply. “Just where do you get off?” His words hissed out under his breath. He clearly didn’t want Marina or Suzy to hear what was going on between us. He huffed angrily and shook his head; his features filled with disgust. “You left! You have no right to judge me for any relationships I may, or may not, have.” River’s words were low in tone, but vicious, said through gritted teeth. His expression was angry and hard.
I swallowed at the pain in my throat and shoved on the sunglasses I’d just dug out of my bag. “I’m not judging you, but don’t touch me again. Sloppy seconds aren’t my style.”
I pushed open the screen door and walked through it, letting it bang shut behind me.
***
I was crying my eyes out as I made my way out of the funeral home. It was the only one in Mason, and I had a lot of memories of when Aunt Frita died. It still smelled the same. I hated the scent.
The rental car was parked in the dirt parking lot across the street and I hurried across and got into it. I put my arms around my steering wheel and cried my heart out. I didn’t know how long I was crying when a knock on my window startled me. I looked up with teary eyes to find Ari Johnson peering inside.
“Hi, Thea,” she said sadly, her green eyes sorrowful. “I thought it was you. I’m on the way to the grocery store and I saw you as I was driving by. I heard about your Uncle Leonard. I’m so sorry.”
I blinked at her. She hadn’t changed and still had the beautiful smile I remembered, except right now it was sad.
I opened the door and climbed out so I could give her a hug. “Ari! It’s good to see you. How are you, Jeff and the kids?”
“We’re good!” She hugged me back. “We watched you last year in the Victoria’s Secret Fashion show. You were so beautiful! Jeff kept saying he couldn’t believe you were that little kid we used to know!”
“Not so little.” I was taller than she was, even if I wasn’t as tall as most in my industry.
“Do you have time for a cup of coffee?” Ari asked warmly. She was always so sweet and despite my sorrow, I didn’t want to say no.
“Sure.” I welcomed the opportunity to catch up and I didn’t really want to get back to the ranch. My heart was already broken, and I didn’t need my nose rubbed in it.
Ari went around and got in my car, then directed me to Willow Creek Café. It wasn’t long before we were sitting in a booth and had placed our order; Ari for coffee and a cinnamon roll, while I ordered three boiled eggs and coffee. I looked longingly at her cinnamon roll.
“It feels like a hundred years since I had one of those.”
She cut off a piece and offered it to me. “Here, have a bite.”
I shook my head. “I shouldn’t. It’s part of my contract that I stay this size. I live on protein and salad.” The corner of my mouth lifted in a wry smile.
“I understand. Do you know what you’re going to do? About the ranch, I mean?”
I was aware that everyone who lived in Mason, or around it, knew everyone else, and that meant there weren’t many secrets. “I’m not sure. I haven’t talked to the lawyers. I don’t even know what’s going on with it. I assume River will keep running it, I guess.”
“Well, Leonard was very proud of you, you know, but he never expected you to come back to Mason.”
“Probably, not.”
“This is such a small town, and my best friend Ellie mentioned that River was going to inherit the bulk of the ranch.”
I sat back and frowned; not because I was angry about my Uncle’s decision, but I wondered how anyone knew. “Really? Did he say so?”
Ari nodded. “Apparently her mother and father-in-law, Emma and Garret Mathews, used to invite Leonard over for dinner sometimes. They were friends, and he told them of his plans, apparently. He depended on River much more than any of us realized. He said he was like a son to him. I’m sorry if I wasn’t supposed to say anything.”
I nodded, understanding. “Uncle Leonard and River were close. And, it makes sense for River to get the ranch. I’ll miss being able to come back here, though. New York is bustling and so impersonal. Life here moves at a much slower pace.”
“Are you upset?”
“No,” I shook my head and took a bite of my boiled egg. I’d already mashed them up and was eating them
with a fork. “But what is his relationship with Suzy?”
“Suzy Welling?” Ari was incredulous and her face twisted in disdain. “You’re kidding, right?” She laughed.
“I had to ask because when I woke up this morning, she was in my kitchen making coffee cake and other shit for River.”
Ari rolled her eyes. “Girl, she’s had it bad for him since high school, don’t you remember?”
“Yes, but she acted like it was her kitchen.” I pushed my hair back. My eyes felt dry as a bone from all the crying, and were probably red-rimmed.
“She’s taking advantage of the situation.”
“Nothing happened between them?”
Ari reached across the table to touch my hand and looked at me honestly. “I don’t know, for sure. Lots of girls chase after him, but they might have had a fling. Should I ask Jeff to find out?” Jeff was her husband and he was the one who sold Star to Aunt Frita. As far as I knew, River was still sharing breeding stock with the Johnsons.
My heart fell. “No. I don’t want to know. I just want to get this funeral over with and get out of here.” I realized how that sounded. “Sorry, Ari. It’s not about Mason, it’s about how I feel about River. I’m miserable. Things are so messed up, and I can’t watch it.”
Her hand squeezed mine. “You will still have the house.”
My eyes widened. “What?”
“You grew up in that house. Leonard will give it to you. And, the horses. I hope you’ll still work with us.”
“Oh, I’ll probably have to sell it. I do love it, but I can’t be here and not be with River.”
“So, be with him, then.” She made it sound so simple. Like I could just choose it, and bend him to my will.
“I tried to keep things going when I went to New York the first time. It didn’t work out.”
“I’m sorry, Thea.”
I glanced at my phone to check for the time. “I should probably get back. There is a big get together tomorrow night after the funeral, and I’m sure there is a lot to do.”