Like, really guilty.
In the dressing room, it felt like Winter had finally realized how preposterous it had been for her to want me to rush into everything, and by everything, I mean finding the man of my dreams, marrying him, and pushing out children like yesterday.
Although, it probably wouldn’t be more than a day or two before she started sending me crazy texts again about how I really should be marrying Maddox, so who knew? We should just stick to the plan.
I glanced at Maddox, and he looked distracted and a million miles away.
“Everything okay with work?” I asked.
He nodded. “Great.”
My hand fell to Maddox’s and I squeezed it. “Why won’t you tell your parents this isn’t real?”
He exhaled slowly and looked out over the water. The muscles in his jaw tightened, and his body turned rigid.
“Maddox, what’s going on?” I turned to face him, but he continued to keep his gaze away from mine. I gently touched his chin, and he finally turned to face me.
Another deep exhale filled the silence between us, and he pressed his lips together before answering. Sadness filled his gaze, and he shook his head.
“My ask is far more demanding than…” His voice trailed off.
“You haven’t asked anything of me.” I shook my head. “You’ve spoiled me rotten, made it impossible for me to ever find a man in your league, and made me wish I’d never started this prank and taken the challenge seriously so I could really date you.”
His knee bobbed up and down. “About that.”
“What?”
Maddox bit his bottom lip and scrubbed his jawline with his palm. “I need this to continue.”
“The fake engagement, wedding thing?” I asked, perplexed.
“Yeah,” he answered curtly but didn’t offer any explanation.
“Well, the wedding isn’t for—”
“I mean beyond the wedding,” he cut me off. “I need you to move in with me and pretend we’re married.”
“What?” I flinched at the request, and I wasn’t even sure why. “Why?”
I had always planned on confessing everything to my friends at the wedding so they knew. Never once did I think about after the wedding.
“It’s a long story.” His gaze stayed on mine as I shook my head.
“Then it’s good that we’re stuck in the middle of Puget Sound.”
A slight curl of his mouth surfaced, and I knocked his shoulder with my fist. “Shoot.”
“When I saw you that night at your party, I was in awe of you, Tessa. You lit up the room, your laughter made others smile, and you were…sweet and funny.” His lips parted, and he slowly slid his tongue along his bottom lip. “You were my high school crush, but we grew up.”
“Yes, we did.” I smiled.
“Anyway, I knew I’d play along with your joke, any joke, just to be around you a little bit longer.” He stood up and walked over to the railing.
Maddox’s back was toward me, and he stretched his lean, muscular arms along the railing, clutching the metal with his fingers. I walked up behind him and ran my hand along the muscles of his back. They were tight and hard.
“What’s wrong?” I asked softly.
He turned slowly and leaned against the railing, folding his arms across his chest.
“I want my mom to see me get married. I want her to believe I’ve found the love of my life.” He pressed his lips together, and I cocked my head slightly, narrowing my eyes on him.
“I don’t understand.”
He drew in a breath. “My mom had breast cancer seventeen years ago. They said it had gone into remission.” He shrugged. “I suppose it had, but it’s back. That was initially why my grandmother had moved in all those years ago.”
“There are so many treatment options now, and—”
He cut me off, his gaze falling to the metal deck of the ferry. “It’s back. They think some of the initial cancer cells escaped and lay dormant all these years.”
I shook my head in shock. His mom looked so healthy, and she seemed so energetic and happy, but I knew that meant nothing in the face of this awful disease.
My heart ached for the man standing in front of me. Never once had he mentioned any of this, and here I was, playing this silly game with myself and my friends when there was so much more to life.
“My dad told me, and my mom doesn’t know that I know.”
“I’m so sorry.” Tears filled my eyes. “So sorry.”
“I think on some level, I’ve always prepared myself that this could happen, but after so many years went by, I thought we’d made it.”
I nodded.
“Her oncologists told my dad this development indicated a short-term prognosis. What that means? Who knows?” He pressed his fingers on his temples and let out a sigh. “Over the last year, she’d been mentioning being tired. I wish we’d made her go in sooner.”
“You can’t blame yourself.” I wound my arms around his waist, and he rested his head on my shoulders.
“I know, but it’s hard not to.”
“How long have you known?” I asked.
“Since the engagement.”
My brows furrowed. “Oh, wow.” I shook my head, our eyes staying on one another. “I’m so sorry for ever making you do this.”
“You didn’t make me do anything.” A slight smile tugged at his mouth. “I would have done anything you asked to spend more time with you. I still would.” He pulled me in closer. “Honestly, I feel like this is how it’s supposed to be. I came to that party for a reason.”
“And it’s not every day that I ask a stranger to pretend to be engaged to me,” I offered, and he smiled.
“Well, that’s comforting.” I rested my head on his chest, feeling the rhythmic beat of his heart. “I wouldn’t change any of this. I’m just asking that we extend it until…”
“Enough said.” I raised my head, and our gazes locked once again, his eyes holding so much pain. “Whatever needs to be done, however it needs to be done.”
“I don’t know how I can ever repay you.”
“You’ve done more for me in this short time than you could ever imagine.” I took a step back, and he broke his gaze away, looking toward the island. “We’re almost at the dock.”
I looped my hand in his, and we started toward the stairwell, but he stopped.
“Everything okay?” I asked, spinning around to see him, our hands still looped.
“I just wanted to tell you how gorgeous you are.” He slowly drew me in, and his mouth touched mine.
But this kiss was different.
Different from anything I’d ever experienced before.
His soft lips parted, and I fell into him as he opened up his world to me, allowing me to venture into a sacred part of his heart. I felt the fear, the pain, and the unexpected as our kisses continued and he pulled my body close to his.
The only thing that broke us apart was the announcement over the loudspeaker. Our eyes blinked open, and for a few seconds, we said nothing. We didn’t need to voice a thing. Life had said it all.
We were meant to come into each other’s lives at this specific moment for very particular needs, and I understood those demands from the very depth of my soul.
His hand found mine, and we made our way down the metal stairs, our shoes clanking against the metal steps until we arrived at our platform.
Going up these stairs only a little bit ago, I was giddy with anticipation for what life had in store for us, and now my spirit hung low for what Maddox must be going through. What he was going through last night, even, and had never said a word. Not until today.
And the favor he’d asked of me.
I glanced behind at Maddox McKenzie and held back my tears. He was so strong, stoic, and determined.
He’d done so much for me over something so silly, so frivolous. I wanted to teach my friends a lesson.
He wanted to give his mother a gift.
And I would
do everything in my power to help in any way I could.
I pushed down the lump in my throat and stared straight ahead until I spotted my car.
“Hey, Tessa?” Maddox called as we reached my car.
He was staring at me over the roof of my car, my hand still on the door handle.
“Yeah?”
“What I told you earlier…” He glanced toward the water and brought his gaze back to mine. “I don’t want it to influence you or your feelings. I want to keep it real between us. No need to change course.”
I gave him a quick nod as if I knew what he was talking about when I actually had absolutely no clue. Keep it real? I thought it was fake…or keep the fakeness real?
Perplexed, I slid into the driver’s seat as Maddox climbed into the passenger side. I turned on the car as soon as the row in front of me began pulling off the ferry.
“Are you still up for what we had planned? I totally get it if—”
“No need to change the plans. I’m fine. We have a schedule to stick to and should firm up the place to get married.” He threw one of his beautiful smiles in my direction, but it didn’t change the pit in the bottom of my stomach. “And a pretty short timeline to get everything done.”
“Okay.” I stared straight ahead as we drove off the ferry onto Fireweed.
I wanted to help him. I wanted to take his pain away, but I knew I couldn’t.
Chapter Seventeen
“This is beautiful.” I wrapped my hand along the wooden scroll of the pergola. “I had no idea there was this area here.”
Maddox smiled and slid his hands into his pockets as he watched me stand under the pergola overlooking the water. There was something in his gaze I couldn’t place.
“It’s lovely.” He smiled and nodded, looking at his phone.
His amusement with his phone was a quick reminder that this engagement, this marriage, was phony. A needed distraction. A needed promise of a life to come. But nevertheless, a fake.
I held in a sigh of disappointment. It wasn’t like just because we’d slept together, I could expect everything to change. For Maddox to be able to separate his feelings from everything else he was going through would be improbable. Finding a real partner for life wasn’t a priority. Making his mother happy, proud, and comfortable was the focus.
Needed to be the focus.
All I intended to do was concentrate on getting through the fake wedding and practice being a fake wife with flawless execution.
I looked around and made myself get squarely back into the fantasy mode because that was clearly all it was.
The park’s far edge was perched on a cliff. Perennial beds surrounded a brilliant green lawn, and I could only imagine what a couple more weeks of sunshine would do for the already brightly colored flowers. Vivid orange, bright yellow, brilliant purple, and dazzling red flowers inked the landscape like a painting from centuries ago.
The place was beautiful and exactly like where I’d love to get married.
A real marriage.
Someday.
But this would have to do.
“I wonder if there is availability for the day we need?” I asked, glancing at Maddox.
I suddenly felt sheepish even worrying about details like this since he was glued to his phone.
“I think it’s perfect.” He walked toward me. “And I already placed a hold on it.” He held up his phone and grinned.
“Wait. That’s what you were looking at?” I asked, feeling more confused than ever.
“I saw how much you fell in love with the gardens, and I think it’s an amazing place. Thought I’d better reserve it before anyone else.” He pointed behind him. “And it looks like we’re allowed to set up tents in case it rains. I looked at the bylaws.”
“Seriously? You did all that while I stared at the flowers?” I laughed, feeling giddy about my pretend nuptials.
He cringed. “It’s just how I work.”
“Well, that’s probably why your business is so successful.”
“And why I have no personal life.” He stood on the steps in front of me.
“You’re getting one, slowly.” I laughed, leaning against the pergola.
“I really want to thank you for agreeing.” He drew a breath and narrowed the gap between us. “It means more than you can imagine. I know my mom always wished she had a daughter to do these girly-type things. Having her come with you to pick out your gown was…special.” I saw him push down a lump. “I know how much she enjoyed it.”
“I couldn’t imagine not having your mom and my mom there.” I touched his arm. “It was a special experience, even if it’s not… you know, real.”
He nodded and touched my cheek softly, and my breath caught.
“Hey, why don’t we FaceTime your mom and show her this place? I bet she’d love to see it.” I smiled, my hand catching in his.
Maddox’s eyes locked on mine, and he drew me in, his arms circling my waist.
I continued, “I know she’d feel—”
“Kiss me.” His velvety voice settled over me, reminding me of what he could do to me.
I saw Maddox’s blue eyes darken with the intensity I experienced last night, and my entire body ached to be held again, licked again, and loved again.
I wanted Maddox McKenzie, and his eyes were begging for the kiss I craved so profoundly, but I wanted it to be real. I wanted a real kiss in the real world, not a pretend kiss in this make-believe world.
But I couldn’t tell him that, not with everything he’d confessed about his mom. There were issues far more critical now than worrying about my heartache. If Maddox wanted a kiss, real or pretend, I’d enjoy it either way.
I bit my bottom lip, and he growled softly as his mouth pressed down to mine. His one hand tangled through my hair as his other slid up my side. I took a step back and leaned against the pole of the pergola, feeling the firmness of his kiss as his lips parted and our tongues tangled with deepened desire.
Heat grew through me as Maddox leaned against me, pressing his hardness against my belly as my fingers rested on his chest. Images from last night replayed through my mind as the ache for more nearly froze me in place.
As his tongue swept mine, my knees weakened, and my mind went dizzy with anticipation. Everything about Maddox McKenzie drove me mad for more, which was a problem in the middle of a park in the middle of Fireweed.
“I want so much more,” I nearly whimpered as I felt Maddox’s mouth curve into a smile before stepping away.
“So do I.” His eyes remained wild with need, and it was all I could do to lean against the pergola for support.
My shirt rumpled and my hair tangled, I was indeed a sight, but I didn’t care.
There was something so freeing about being with Maddox, wanting Maddox.
I didn’t care if it was real or fake.
It was something I needed.
“So, we reserved the venue.” His voice was gruff.
“Yeah.” I nodded.
“What should we do with the rest of our day?” His eyes blazed with longing.
Even though the man saw me naked and had explored every part of me, he still could make me blush with just one look.
I slid my hands over my hair and readjusted my shirt. “Umm, maybe we should grab lunch.” I cleared my throat and looked away from Maddox so I could try to think clearly. “And I think we should video chat with your mom. I want her to see this place. Be part of the process.”
He wound his arms around my waist. “I agree.” He kissed the top of my head, and my body nearly sank into his.
Maddox kept ahold of me with one arm as he grabbed his phone out of his pocket and dialed his mom.
Within seconds, her happy face came onto the screen, and she waved at us both.
“Hi there, lovebirds.”
“Hey, Mom,” Maddox said, smiling. “Tessa and I wanted to show you the venue here on Fireweed where we decided to get married.”
“Was it the park her mother t
old me about?” she asked, her blue eyes sparkling.
“It is.” He nodded. “I’ll spin the phone around so you can see.”
I patted his back as he let me go and stepped down the pergola and positioned the phone for his mom to take it all in.
“Honey, it’s gorgeous.”
“It is.”
“It fits Tessa perfectly,” his mom gushed, and my stomach knotted at the thought of what she was facing. “And you, Maddox. You always struck me as someone who’d have a wedding outside, mostly for the party of it all.” She laughed.
“Got me there.” Maddox chuckled, and his gaze caught mine.
“Now, we’ll just try to figure out how to wrangle in your brother so he doesn’t make any lasting memories.” She laughed, and for a split second, Maddox’s gaze fastened on mine.
It felt like the curtain had dropped between us.
“I’m sure Morgan will behave himself.” I giggled, and Maddox turned the screen back to me so we could both see his mom.
“Sweetie, we can hope and pray, but I can’t guarantee anything.” She grimaced.
“I’ve got some single friends he can torment,” I suggested.
“The ones at the bridal shop?” she asked, and I nodded.
“That just might be your best shot.”
“Good.” I laughed. “Then it’s set.”
“Well, you two enjoy yourselves. I don’t want to take up any more of your time. Thanks for showing me.” She waved at us.
“Love ya, Mom.”
“Love you too, Maddox.” She smiled and quickly hung up. “Forever and always.”
“I’m glad we did that.” He turned to face me, sliding his phone in his pocket. “She was about to cry. That’s why she hung up so fast.”
I nodded. “I wondered.”
A few seconds of silence rested between us, and I wondered what next.
Not just for the afternoon but for us. For our relationship. For the next month, months, year.
I let out a sigh, and he stroked my cheek.
“You okay? Is it what I asked of you?” He sounded concerned.
“Just…” I sighed again. “I’m not sure how fake this is for me any longer.” I folded my arms over my chest, nearly hugging myself. “Nothing about last night was fake for me.”
Mr. Mistake: A Fake Marriage Romance (Mr. Mistake Series Book 1) Page 17