by Helen Scott
When I came out into a sitting area and galley-style kitchen I saw Roman sitting at a small kitchen table, newspaper in hand as he took a sip of what smelled like coffee from his cup. A warm, golden light was just starting to trail over the horizon and the lights he had on were dim enough that everything looked cozy. His eyes landed on me a moment later and he all but spit the mouthful of coffee he'd taken out.
We watched each other for a moment. I could feel the mate bond drawing me to him, wanting me to get closer and I took a stilted step in his direction. The habit to not look at a male shifter in the eye was more ingrained in me than I thought, as I had to wrench my gaze upward to look at his face for the first time, taking him in fully. The brown hair I'd been so surprised about when I first saw him was paired with eyes that looked as deep and stormy as the ocean, the blue-gray of a turbulent sea, rather than the clear, bright blue of a summer sky.
The longer I looked in his eyes the faster my heart raced, so I looked elsewhere. His nose was straight as an arrow and pointed to lips that were a little fuller on the top than the bottom. He was sexy, I mean, I had already known that just from the little I saw at the shop, but adding his face in to it as well? The man had “heartbreaker” written all over him, and yet, I knew without a doubt he would never break mine thanks to the mate bond.
A bond like this would never be broken, could never be broken, at least not without serious magic and even worse consequences afterward. I felt it circle around my heart, as though it was gathering up all the broken, abandoned pieces and starting to put them back together again. The problem was I didn't remember how to live with a heart that wasn't broken. The pain and loneliness had been a constant in my life for too long and if this took them away I wasn't sure I knew how to function without them anymore.
"You hit me with your car," I blurted as I took another step toward him.
He smiled and looked down at his coffee, swirling it in the mug before tipping the last of it into his mouth. He pushed up from his chair and his eyes met mine again, a grin breaking out over his face as he walked over to the coffee pot. My breath caught. He had a scar on his cheek that was only noticeable when he smiled. Shifters didn't scar easily, so whatever it was either happened when he was young and not as powerful or was worse than the scar made it look.
"I did, not by choice. I can't say I was expecting a woman to burst from the alley and run in front of my car." He looked over at me and raised an eyebrow along with the coffee pot.
I nodded, hoping the eyebrow raise was the silent question of whether or not I wanted coffee. I did. Desperately.
Everything felt surreal. I was standing in the apartment of my mate. My mate. After everything that had just happened with Jax, to imprint on this guy felt strange. It was both a relief and felt slightly like a betrayal. I knew Jax was bad. I knew he would hurt me. But he'd tried so hard to get me to imprint on him that it was ironic I had now imprinted on a stranger whose oil I'd changed a few days ago.
Since I'd just been standing there silently watching Roman make more coffee he handed me a fresh cup and said, "Why don't you have a seat? Your body is probably still healing. I can still see some bruises."
My free hand went to my throat. The skin there was still tender and I knew those were some of the bruises he was talking about, especially since his eyes had strayed in that direction more than once. Without speaking I did as he suggested and took a seat, the one he'd vacated, and looked at what he'd been reading in the paper. Who even read papers anymore? Didn’t everyone get their news off the internet these days?
It was the first quirk. The first thing that I knew I would always remember about him. Newspapers.
"Hungry?" he asked from where he stood in the kitchen as the small coffee machine began dripping to make a fresh pot.
My stomach responded before I could, growling loudly. He chuckled and I watched as he pulled eggs and bacon and a variety of other things from the fridge. My stomach rumbled again in anticipation. This was going to be good, better than the food at the restaurant, because it would be made just for me, and no one was trying to molest me or kill me while I ate it. I couldn't wait.
"What's your name?" he asked as he cracked a couple eggs into a bowl, whisking them as he waited for my response.
My instinct was to lie, to obscure the truth, but the fates had ordained this man as my mate. I could trust him, right? They wouldn't have put us together if I couldn't, would they?
"Antonia, but everyone calls me Nina," I replied, my voice still scratchy even though I'd had a few sips of the divine nectar in my mug.
"I'm Roman," he replied. I could feel curiosity burning through the bond for both of us. Being so close made the bond easier to read, but I knew if we ventured far away from each other it would become more muddled, and we would each only sense extremely strong emotions. It would also start to hurt, and the longer we stayed apart the more it would hurt.
"I know," I said, automatically. He looked at me with curiosity so I quickly added, "From the information you left when I changed your oil."
"Do you remember every customer's name?" he asked, pinning me to the seat with his intense stare.
"I don't know most customer's names. They usually wait there. But yours is the first I can remember remembering," I said before immediately wanting to smack myself in the forehead. Remember remembering? Who talked like that?
"Well, Nina, I'm sorry for hitting you with my car, especially after you did such a nice oil change on it. Do you want to tell me why you were running?"
"Are you sure you want to know?" The question was out before I could think better of it.
He set the bowl down and walked over to me, his pace looking restrained, as though he was forcing himself to move slowly. He knelt on the floor in front of me as he said, "Nina, I will never demand you tell me something you don't want to, but I want you to trust me. I want to help you as much as I can." He held out his hand for mine and I placed the one not clutching coffee in his grasp. When he brought my knuckles to his lips and kissed them lightly I wanted to smile big and wide, but I couldn't move except to watch him as he pushed to his feet and went back to cooking. "Whether you tell me is up to you, but don't hold back because you think it will somehow change things between us. I know the bond only just happened, but believe me when I say I understand the seriousness of our situation. I'm no pup. A mating bond was something I'd long given up on finding. I only ask that you're honest with me. Please, don't lie to me. I promise I will never lie to you. You're my mate."
The words sent a thrill of electricity up my spine. I couldn't tell if it was excitement or warning, but I knew I wasn't scared of him, so I took a deep breath and released it slowly, letting my anxiety settle as he went about making food and not watching me with those stormy eyes of his.
"There is a man, an alpha, who wanted me as his mate and tried to force it with the old witch's potion. He's held me captive for the last two or three days and I escaped last night. I think I may have killed one of his men in the process."
His grip on the bamboo spatula tightened to the point that his knuckles had blanched and I worried that the utensil would splinter and break in his hand.
It didn't though. The more I told him about what happened the more his shoulders rounded and his body tensed. Once I started talking I couldn't shut up either. Everything came spilling out of me in a tidal wave of information.
When I was done he put a plate of eggs, the fancy kind with vegetables in them and seasoning and stuff, bacon, sausage, and fruit in front of me. I shoveled the food into my mouth, groaning as I did so. The taste was beyond anything I could remember consuming in my adult life. I wanted more of everything but could feel myself filling up on what he'd put in front of me.
The whole time he watched me from the seat opposite. His eyes devoured every small movement, every twitch, every lick and bite, he took it in like he was storing it to examine later. Finally when I'd cleaned my plate, which I would have licked if I was home alon
e, he said, "I don't think you should go home. It's clearly not safe for you there. As much as I want to respect what you've been through and give you the time and space you need, you also need to stay somewhere that they can't find you. Stay here, with me. Join my pack. I'll protect you from anything that comes your way, and if you're part of my pack then we have that to back us up as well."
The food soured in my stomach as my heart froze in my chest. Join his pack? Was he insane? After everything I'd just told him he thought I'd still be interested in pack life? I could never give myself over to a pack again, putting myself under someone else's control like that … Just the thought of it made breathing hard. Plus, it would make all my years of loneliness, Sam's death, everything I'd done and been through would be for nothing.
I pushed my chair back from the table and stood on shaky legs. "I can’t do this. Sorry," I mumbled before I took off, running to the front door of the apartment, throwing it open and taking off down the street. I wouldn't be caged. Never again.
19
AFTER RUNNING for what felt like ages in nothing but a torn and bloodied dress and an oversized T-shirt I finally made it home. When I took the T-shirt off I realized why Roman had put it on me, the dress was torn in several places that were more than a little revealing. I vaguely remember feeling it happen when I bounced off the car and skidded across the concrete.
Whatever, even if Roman saw my tits it wasn't like there was anything special about them. They were just tits. It was very gentlemanly of him to cover me though, something which fit with everything else I'd learned about him so far.
After a shower, I folded Roman's T-shirt up and put it by the door for me to return it to him, then I took the dress and a trash can down to the patio area for tenants to use and set the fucker on fire. The black fabric twisted and curled in the flames while some of the sequins in the lace melted into tiny balls. It brought me an odd sense of satisfaction that I'd destroyed the dress Jax had made me wear. If I’d still had the shoes, I would have burned those as well.
I watched the flames dance in the metal bin and felt an odd sense of peace, not because of Jax, since I knew he was still out there, and not because of burning a piece of material, but because of Roman. He'd taken care of me when I needed it, without a second thought. Plus, he didn't seem like a criminal, which was a huge bonus.
Was I stupid to have run away from him?
I was certainly feeling that way. The talk of me joining his pack made me panic, which on top of imprinting kicked my flight instincts into high gear. Now, I was standing there in the low light of the rising sun burning a dress and hoping that I could figure this all out. Roman on the other hand seemed ready to embrace everything about the mating bond, although some of his comments were a little cryptic, like when he talked about waiting for it for a long time and giving up on it.
Watching him cook me food was probably the highlight of my very long, very exhausting week. As the flames died down in the trash can I made the decision to call Roman tomorrow. I knew the garage would still have his number on file, so it wasn't like I had no way of contacting him. After everything he'd done for me, he deserved more of an apology and explanation than the one I'd given him.
Sure, I'd told him about my past a little, but only in a strictly factual way. I hadn't given him all the gory details about how it had messed me up emotionally, like how it made me distrustful of everyone, or how it made me see the true evil that lurked just under the pack's surface, or even how the alpha wanting a girl of a similar age to me made me terrified of the power an alpha could wield. I needed to explain all of that to him, it was just a lot to go over at once.
Even though I knew it would be hard, given how accepting he'd already been, it seemed like he was open to me, flaws and all. Part of me felt like that couldn't be right, like there was a catch somewhere, but every emotion that I'd sensed through the bond while I was at his place rang of truth and sincerity. Neither of us had been expecting this to happen, but he seemed like he wanted to try, which was more than I would have expected had someone told me I'd be in this situation.
I felt for the bond between us, feeling reassured that I still found it there, like a rope stretched between points. It didn't feel very strong, although I knew from my schooling that if we had consummated the bond then it would be indestructible. One thing that occurred to me while I was examining this piece of metaphysical energy in my head was that in all these years it never seemed like a real possibility that I might actually imprint on someone who was a genuinely nice and caring person, someone I wanted to get to know, someone I might actually be interested in building a life with.
This whole time I'd thought my parents were unicorns in a sea of rhinos. Turned out there were more unicorns out there than I'd thought.
I pushed that thought to the side and walked the now ashy trash can over to the dumpster where I could empty it out before I returned to my apartment. I knew I'd have to actually clean it at some point, but that could wait. My mind was too wrapped up in everything else to even contemplate cleaning in that moment, so I let the trash can fall from my fingers and clang on the linoleum floor of the kitchen before I microwaved myself a snack and plopped down on the couch.
As I ate the highly processed, salty garbage I'd just warmed up from frozen, the idiocy of what I'd done really struck me. Roman was a good man, that much was obvious with how he'd treated me already. He clearly wasn't a criminal, I mean, the guy had been reading the paper, the editorial section as well, it wasn't like he was going for the comics. Plus, the man could cook like nobody's business, and had an ass that I just wanted to bite or hold as he thrust into me and feel his muscles move under my fingertips.
Okay. That wasn't a thought I was expecting to have.
I mean it wasn't that I didn't have sexy or needy thoughts from time to time, but for the most part over the last few years I'd done my damnedest to lock my sexuality away. Sure, there'd been the odd instance or two where I'd been too overwhelmed and had to seek out a bed partner, but it had been a short burst and I'd never been satisfied, so eventually I stopped doing even that. Better to just take care of myself than to waste time on an unsatisfactory experience.
Part of me wanted to try and trace my steps back to Roman's apartment, but the idea of wandering around the city seemed like a worse decision than running from Roman's place, even though it may have been early enough in the day that I could get away with it. I wasn’t going to try, but that didn’t mean I could sit still, I needed to do something, what, that was something I wasn't sure of. I pushed up off the couch, just in time for the door to my apartment to crash inward.
Wood splinters flew everywhere and a crack sounded as the pieces of door that had remained on the hinges were kicked away or hit the wall behind it. Three large men strode in, their faces looking as though I'd killed their brother.
Oh shit.
Maybe I had.
My mind whipped back to the man I'd fought off as he was strangling me. Was this his family seeking retribution? I had no idea, but I wasn't about to roll over and play dead, so I dropped into a fighting stance and waited.
20
THE THREE OF them came at me hard and fast. Each of them tried to grab me like they hadn't discussed their tactics beforehand at all. It made it easy, well, relatively easy to get around them and escape their grasping hands. I ducked and dived out of the shattered door of my apartment into the hallway.
My feet pounded against the tiled floor and my hands stung as I slapped the metal of the front door and pushed it open before tearing away from the building as fast as I could. I needed to find somewhere to hide, because I knew as sure as shit that they would expect me to run, especially after last time, and they knew I had the stamina and energy to pull it off, or at least I hoped that was the impression I had given them.
I swerved as soon as I got to the parking area for the building and hid behind a van, lining my feet up with the tires so if they happened to be smart enough to look under the
cars I wouldn't give myself away.
"Split up. Lars, you check the street. James, go right. Any sightings text, remember do not engage without backup," a low male voice said. I couldn't tell if he was trying to make it so he wasn't heard and failing or just didn't give a shit. I mean who talked about going after someone so openly like that?
I had to fight to calm my breathing as I heard footsteps approach the parking area. It wasn't so much an official parking lot, as an abandoned area that some of the tenants with cars had claimed. It only housed a few cars so it wasn't like there was a huge area for me to hide. I had to hope it was enough though. If he found me and alerted his buddies then I was fucked. There was no way I could fight off three male shifters. No, I had to be smart about this. If it came down to a fight then I needed to keep it one-on-one.
My heart hammered in my chest as the gravel crunched underfoot, getting closer and closer to my hiding spot. Everything in me demanded I run, but I knew that wouldn't do me any good in my current situation.
"Little wolf, little wolf, come out to play," the low masculine voice called quietly. It was the third man, the unnamed one. "I can smell you, you know. It's only a matter of time before we catch you. We don't have to take you straight to Boss though, we could have a little fun beforehand. All depends on whether you're a good little bitch or not."
My stomach rolled at the implication. While he shouldn't be able to scent me from where I was, especially with all the cars and trash in the way, I didn't trust it to be untrue either. I needed to surprise him somehow, to get the drop on him and give myself the upper hand.
I listened to his footfalls and edged silently away from his position, around the other end of the van I'd been using to hide. Slowly I stepped up onto the rear bumper and winced as I heard it creak a little. I hauled myself up onto the roof of the conversion van, using the roof rack as a handle to get myself into position.