Carter had thought of all this during the long nighttime hours. They were all good points, and still, Carter had gotten up this morning thinking he would say yes to Miranda. He simply couldn’t imagine himself saying no to her.
“Honestly, I don’t think Miranda would think less of me if I had to arrest her cousin again,” Carter said. “She’s realistic about Lawton’s past mistakes and about his chances for success in this town.”
“Sounds like you’ve made up your mind,” Sam said.
Allie returned and set two boxes in front of Carter. “Here’s your order, Chief.”
He left a few bills on the counter, told Sam he’d see him in an hour and walked out of the café. When he entered the door to High Mountain Rafting, he found his brother alone, behind the counter. Papers were spread out in front of him, and Jace was frowning.
“Not open yet,” he said, and then looked up. “Oh, it’s you. What smells so good?”
“Pancakes. Enough for two, but I can eat them both if you’re too grumpy to appreciate the gesture.”
Jace grabbed a box. “You, my brother, are a man among men.”
“It’s just pancakes, Jace.”
“Don’t make light of my rumbling stomach that suddenly finds you very attractive,” Jace said.
“Never mind.” Carter removed the lid from his box, took his plastic silverware out of the wrapper and started to eat. “What’s with the paperwork? You figuring out how much money you make sending folks down the Wyoga River?”
“Already know that, and it’s not much. No, I’m filling out forms for licenses, checking our supplies to make sure we meet the latest safety requirements.” He took a sip of coffee. “It’s kind of ridiculous, Carter, that I’m in the business of giving people thrills, and because of all these safety precautions, I end up having to explain why they didn’t have any.”
“Didn’t you tell me once that you lose a couple of people a week from one of the rafts?” Carter asked.
“You make it sound like those folks drowned when in fact all that happened was that they got a good dowsing.”
“Okay, so isn’t that enough of a thrill for the ones who fall in?”
“Yeah, I suppose, but accidents happen mostly because a customer has been jumping around when he shouldn’t have been. The Wyoga is a pretty tame river unless the rain has been heavy.” He took a bite of pancake. “Why are you here with that glum look on your face? Something little bro can help you with?”
“Maybe.”
Jace looked surprised. Carter rarely asked him for advice. And Jace never asked Carter for any. “Okay, I’m listening.”
“Miranda wants me to be a mentor for Lawton until he gets settled.”
Jace stopped chewing and stared at Carter. “Bad idea, bro. You sure you want to be associated with either of those two boys?”
“No, I’m not sure, but I don’t want to disappoint Miranda.”
“You don’t want to disappoint the girl who dumped you with no warning and, to my way of thinking, no decent reason?”
“She had her reasons.” Carter wanted to argue, to tell his brother again that Miranda had been grieving over her father’s death, that she blamed Raymond for the loss and she needed to get her mother and herself away from Holly River. But Carter truly couldn’t make a good case for what Miranda did. He’d spent too many hours in the past thinking about her words the day they broke up. No warning and no reason he could believe in about summed it up. “I suppose I shouldn’t feel any obligation to her...”
“Darn straight.”
“But I think I can help Lawton.”
“You think you can help everyone, Carter. And maybe you ought to realize that your job is not just to help people. It’s to remind them that we all live according to the law, and if they mess up, they will pay.” Biting off a piece of sausage, Jace added, “Sometimes, brother, you can be too moral. People take advantage of you, and the last person you should let do that is Miranda Jefferson.”
Jace washed down his food with a sip of coffee. “My advice, since you asked, is to put your darned integrity, not to mention long-lost feelings for a girl who dumped you, on the back burner and realize what a relationship with Lawton could cost you in this town.”
“You make it sound like I’m a pushover.”
“At least you’re a good, honest pushover, and you like it that way.”
That last remark rankled. “You know why I tend to be lenient with folks around here, especially those who lived here during our father’s reign of terror. Too many people had to smell the stench from the paper mill, and too many worked for minimum wage when they should have been earning more.”
“I know that, and your motives are understandable, though I don’t feel the need to erase any of the stuff our father did. If people in this town want to condemn me for what that old buzzard is responsible for, I can’t stop them, and I won’t try. But that’s just the difference between you and me. The bottom line is, Carter, you could be tackling too much with Lawton. You’re the good brother, you know, and you’ve spent years earning that title.”
The pancakes were beginning to sit like lead in Carter’s stomach. Sometimes his brother made good sense. “I’ve got to go to work. Thanks for listening, Jace.”
“No problem. By the way, I gotta say that Miranda is even better looking now than I remember. Mom told me she has a kid. Have you seen her?”
“The daughter? Sure. Her name is Emily.”
“She look like her mother...or Donny?” Jace asked the question without a sign that he was twisting the knife in Carter’s pancake-laden gut.
“I don’t know,” Carter lied. “I didn’t pay that much attention to her. She looks like all kids—short, cute.”
Carter tossed his food box into the nearest trash can, stood up to leave and then stopped. “One more thing, Jace. Have you noticed anything going on with Ma?”
“Like what?”
“I don’t know. She seems to be avoiding certain topics. Like why she won’t go with Aunt Dolly to Hawaii. She’s always wanted to go there. Now’s her chance, and she tells me she’s suddenly lost interest. That make any sense to you?”
“No, it doesn’t.” Jace shook his head.
“And she seems to be avoiding hiring help to keep the house up,” Carter added.
“Can’t be money,” Jace said. “A trip to Hawaii could run two grand or more, but Ma is getting regular checks from the mill, isn’t she? Dad may have been a louse, but he did leave her set financially with that profit sharing plan.”
“I haven’t watched the mill books as closely as I could,” Carter admitted. “Ava’s the one with the mathematical brain, but our dear sister doesn’t come home that often. I have asked Ma, and she says she’s getting her share of the profits from Uncle Rudy.”
“Dad’s brother may not be an angel, but he’s not as bad as Dad was,” Jace said. “I don’t think he’d cheat Ma.”
“Well, then, if the problem isn’t money, do you think she’s afraid to travel?”
“No, at least not if she’s going with Aunt Dolly.”
Carter headed for the exit. “Just keep your ears open, Jace. Don’t pressure her too hard to give you a reason, but if she tells you anything, let me know. I hate to see her miss this opportunity. I can just see her and Dolly dancing the hula when we’re stuck in Holly River in three feet of snow!”
“Good luck with your decision,” Jace called as Carter left the shop. Carter returned to his car and drove the few blocks to the police station.
He would work until five and then call Miranda and go over to the Hummingbird Inn. He hoped he would have a busy day. At this point he was just darned tired of thinking about all the Jefferson cousins. Maybe the answer would come to him when he was chasing a nuisance bear from someone’s bird feeder.
* * *
AT FIVE O�
��CLOCK Carter phoned Miranda and told her he was coming to the Hummingbird Inn. She sounded happy, hopeful. Carter hated to spoil that feeling, but he’d pretty much decided not to mentor Lawton. The two guys he’d gone to for advice had made good sense. The folks in Holly River wouldn’t understand why he was helping an ex-con, and truly, what did Carter owe Miranda anyway? Nothing.
Miranda had told him she and Emily were staying in the cottage behind the inn, so Carter pulled up the long, tree-lined drive and passed the main house. The cottage was small and cozy-looking. Carter hoped it wasn’t so cozy that he’d have to tell Miranda his decision in front of the kid.
Though he’d seen Emily a couple of times, Carter couldn’t get comfortable with her. Emily reminded him too much of Donny, and then there was the history. Back then, Carter had been the one who wanted to have kids with Miranda. Now, thanks to a couple of tragic twists of fate, Miranda had ended up with his best friend, and Carter had lost what was possibly his last chance at happiness. He’d accepted that fact and didn’t need to develop confusing feelings for Donny Larson’s daughter.
Miranda stepped out the front door when Carter turned off the engine to the patrol car. He got out of the car still wearing his uniform. He’d brought casual clothes with him this morning but decided it would be better to keep this meeting as professional as he could.
“Thanks for coming by, Carter,” Miranda said.
She had on a dress, a cute sleeveless above-the-knee thing with tiny yellow flowers all over it. The dress showed off her figure and reminded him that she’d always had great legs—and he’d always liked her in a dress. She looked like she belonged in Mrs. Dillingham’s colorful garden, and in Holly River.
Don’t get sidetracked, he told himself. Miranda works for the government in Durham. She’d made the decision long ago that Holly River wasn’t for her.
“No problem,” he said. “I told you I’d stop by this evening.”
“Emily’s in the house working on a project.” She pointed to a swing a few yards away. “The weather’s nice. We can sit out here and have a private conversation.”
Thank goodness. “That’s fine.” He waited for her to walk ahead of him. The swing was one of those sturdy wooden-framed ones that could easily hold two people who together weighed five hundred pounds. Carter clocked in at 180 and Miranda couldn’t have topped 120. They each settled on the flowery cushion. Miranda’s feet didn’t touch the ground, but Carter glided the swing back and forth just slightly with his toe. For a moment he couldn’t take his gaze away from the breeze lifting her hair from her shoulders.
“So have you made a decision?” she asked.
“I have. There were a number of factors to consider, and I thought long and hard about this.”
Her face fell. “You’re not going to do it.”
“Let me explain...”
“It’s all right.” She stared straight into his eyes and seemed to reach his heart. “I’d so hoped, but...I’m sure you have your reasons.”
“I just don’t think it would work, Miranda. I’m on one side of the law and Lawton’s...well, he and Dale have notoriously been on the other.”
“That’s not a fair statement, Carter, not anymore. Law is reformed, and I want to make sure he stays that way.” She shook her head. “There are so many things working against him now that he’s out. He’s having to adjust to new feelings. Prison life is regimented and dehumanizing. The attitude he took in prison won’t work on the outside. In there he was tough, withdrawn and antisocial. Those mind-sets won’t help him in Holly River.”
Carter couldn’t look away from the disappointment in Miranda’s eyes. She’d accepted his answer, but now she seemed hell-bent on changing his mind. She was nothing if not determined. Lawton was lucky to have her on his side.
“Why did Lawton come back here?” Carter asked.
“I told you before. He had twenty-five dollars when he left prison. The only place he had to go was Liggett Mountain. The only family he has is Dale. I hoped, I prayed that Dale would have changed and would encourage Law to stay crime-free. But you know Dale, Carter. He’s the same as always—uncaring, unfeeling and just out for himself.”
Carter couldn’t argue. Heck, he didn’t even like to think of Miranda and Emily in the company of Dale Jefferson, even if he was kin.
“All that’s true,” Carter said, “but there’s another reason. I didn’t see what I could offer Lawton. I mean, I’m not a psychologist, and that’s probably the kind of help that he needs.”
“He doesn’t need a psychologist. He has me to talk to, and I’m trained to help people like him. He needs a friend, Carter, someone who can guide him in the right direction, someone who can help him to feel like a man again, not a number.”
Carter felt his resolve weakening. “And you think I’m the one who can do that?”
She smiled. And then she did something entirely unexpected. She reached across that cushion and wrapped her hand around Carter’s arm. He felt her touch all the way to his shoulder. The swing stopped as he drew in a quick breath. “I know you, and I know you are,” she said.
He released the breath he’d been holding. “What exactly do you want me to do, Miranda?”
“Help him to assume responsibility for his future. Look what you’ve done with your life. Lawton can’t help but be impressed with all you’ve accomplished. Work with him on finding a job. He’ll take almost anything at this point. Maybe you can go with him on interviews. A show of confidence from Holly River’s chief of police will go a long way.”
Yeah, maybe, but what would Lawton’s appearance with the chief of police do to Carter? “Does he even know how to fill out a job application, how to prepare for an interview?”
“I can help him with the paperwork,” Miranda said. “And maybe you can get him in the doors around here for interviews. But most importantly, here’s where you can be especially helpful... Lawton needs to learn constructive, peaceful ways to deal with conflicts between him and Dale. And he needs to work well with authority figures, like his future boss. In prison, the inmates mostly resent anyone in authority, and that attitude has to change if he’s going to be successful on the outside.
“I can help him with things like getting health insurance, saving money, budgeting,” she added. “But I won’t be effective in getting him a place to live. I may be wrong, but I’ve sensed some resentment toward me since I’ve been back. The people in this town might just give Law a chance if he’s got you on his side.” She took a breath. “The truth is, Carter, if Lawton is going to succeed, he needs both of us. And maybe you can talk him into getting his GED and even going on to take some college courses.”
One of the Jefferson boys in college? Carter shook his head. He admired Miranda’s spunk and determination, but maybe she wasn’t being realistic. But as he looked at her with her bottom lip between her teeth, her blue eyes so hopeful, as if he alone could make everything right, he suddenly wanted to help her. At least he didn’t want her to fail because he’d turned his back on her.
“Tell you what, Miranda. I’ll talk to Lawton on Sunday. That’s my day off. If I come away from the conversation believing that Lawton and I could work together, that our differences wouldn’t keep us from accomplishing what you’re hoping for, then I’ll give it a try. But if not...”
“Oh, Carter, I just knew you’d help us!” She was suddenly leaning across that flowered cushion and wrapping him in a fierce hug, her face buried against his neck. The swing went slightly off-kilter, as did every major organ in Carter’s body. His heart pounded. His head spun. And he panicked.
“Miranda, don’t do that,” he said, gently pulling her arms to her sides.
She sat back. “What’s wrong?”
“What’s wrong?” He couldn’t believe she’d asked the question. Did she honestly think that enough time had passed that she could give him a friendly hug as if
they were nothing more than old buddies? The feeling of her body pressed against his brought back memories he’d taken years to forget. He stood.
“I’m sorry, Carter,” she said. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. But I’m so grateful to you.”
With his feet firmly on the ground, he managed to recover his bearings. “It’s okay. You caught me off guard. I overreacted.” And started thinking about all I’d lost and all you meant to me at one time.
“Do you want to go up to Liggett with me on Sunday?” he asked.
“I would really like to. I’ll hire that girl from the college to watch Emily again. Just tell me what time to be ready.”
“Around ten works for me,” he said. “I promised my mother I’d help out at her place in the afternoon.”
“I’ll be waiting,” she said. And he knew that he would be, too.
CHAPTER SEVEN
SAM STOOD IN front of his bathroom mirror to give himself one last look. He smoothed a thick strand of coppery-colored hair off his forehead. Funny, but girls had always liked his hair. One had even called it the color of a hot chili pepper. It hadn’t been so much the words that had gotten to him, but the husky timbre of her voice when she’d said it. For the first time since his embarrassing freckles had been replaced by a healthy, ruddy complexion, he hadn’t wished he’d been born with any hair color other than red.
He adjusted the collar on the forest green sports shirt he’d picked to go with long, lean, dark brown jeans. And then he brushed his teeth one more time just in case some of the spice of his Mexican lunch lingered on his tongue. He was taking Allie to Brickstone’s tonight for steak and a really good bottle of wine. Holly River didn’t offer a better restaurant. One more deep breath and he left his apartment. Sam hadn’t been nervous about a date in a long time, but going out with Allie seemed like a milestone in his life.
He drove to the address she had given him, surprised that a place just beyond the borders of his town was unfamiliar to him. He thought he’d seen every country road and gravel path in Bolton County. At least he’d never arrested anyone from this location.
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