Problem was, though, he liked Allie, way more than he’d liked any woman in a long time. He couldn’t keep his protective instincts from surfacing. Allie was nice, a sweetheart really. She told him she was a one-man woman, and he’d hoped that he could be that man. Jumping to conclusions had gotten many a guy into trouble, ruined many promising relationships, and Sam wasn’t about to get caught in that trap.
Allie came out the back door, a steaming foam cup in her hand. No one should be able to make a pair of black pants and a white restaurant T-shirt fit like a second skin. Her hair was bunched up in a messy bun kind of thing, with strands falling around her face. She was a beauty from head to toe, he thought.
“Here you go,” she said. “Enjoy. And be careful out there.”
He returned her smile and did exactly as she said.
* * *
BY WEDNESDAY MORNING, Miranda had accomplished a lot—on only ten hours of sleep in three nights. As soon as she heard from Carter Monday morning telling her the cabin was ready for Lawton, she and Emily drove up Liggett Mountain to pick up their cousin and take him to his new home.
Lawton had been quite satisfied with the arrangements and felt the cabin would suit his needs just fine. He and Miranda made a short list of items he would need until he was okay financially. After their shopping trip, they spent the rest of the afternoon tidying up the cabin and putting supplies away.
Along with news of the cabin, Carter had also told her that he’d spoken to Jace and his mom and they agreed to hire Lawton on a temporary basis. Miranda and Lawton had mapped out the route to Snowy Mountain and discovered public transportation was available most of the way. Lawton just had to walk down to the base of the mountain in the mornings and wait for the town shuttle, which would eventually drop him about a half mile from Snowy.
If it weren’t for the way Carter’s voice sounded on the phone, Miranda would have sworn that everything was working out beautifully. But Carter had seemed distant, even cold. The conversation was kept short and on point. Miranda barely had time to thank him again for all his efforts before he claimed work was piling up in his office and he had to go. She hoped he wasn’t regretting his decision.
On Thursday, Miranda picked up Law and drove him to the Christmas tree farm. She figured he could use a little extra support from his family on his first day of shearing. She dropped him at the foot of the mountain where a large Santa statue waved visitors up the road. Miranda watched her cousin a few moments as he trudged up to the growing areas.
“Just be yourself, Law,” she’d whispered to his retreating figure. “People will learn to trust you when they see you’re a changed man.”
She wasn’t certain if she were giving advice or saying a prayer.
Miranda spent the rest of Thursday trying to get Lawton’s paperwork in order. He needed to fill out forms for health insurance and a driver’s license and have utilities in the cabin transferred to his name. Luckily, his health records were in good order. At least the prison system had released a man who, except for the obvious weight loss, seemed to be in perfectly good health.
Now if she could just keep him away from Dale’s influence.
And if she could just figure out what she could do for Carter to show her appreciation for his trust in her in this matter. This last problem had kept her awake, too. Why it should, she wasn’t quite certain, and she wasn’t ready to admit that her sleeplessness was more her confusing feelings for Carter and not just anxiety over thanking him properly.
And now, on a bright Friday morning, Miranda smiled across the breakfast table at her daughter and decided they both deserved a special kind of day. She recalled Cora’s invitation to visit her at the Cahill home. What child wouldn’t love a trip to a big old house? Cora’s home was filled with pretty crockery and scenic paintings of local attractions. The house had a big back porch that opened onto a large farming area with giant sunflowers and healthy, ripe vegetables. And that wasn’t even taking into account the barn with a docile cow that probably still lived there and numerous goats and chickens.
Miranda admitted that a trip to the Cahill home wasn’t just for Emily. She wanted to see the house again for herself. So many of her memories were wrapped up in that property, both good and bad. “Hey, I’ve got an idea,” she said.
The ringing of her cell phone interrupted her. She glanced at the screen. Donny. This was the third time he’d called in the two weeks they’d been in Holly River, and she couldn’t just ignore him. He had a right to speak to his daughter whenever he wanted to.
“It’s Daddy,” she said to Emily. “Do you want to answer?”
“Yes.” Emily enthusiastically took the phone. “Hi, Daddy. Are you coming to see us?”
Miranda watched Em’s face for a sign of Donny’s answer and was relieved when her little girl’s lips turned down into a pout. “Okay, that’s all right,” Emily said.
They chatted another few minutes until Emily handed the phone to Miranda. “He wants to talk to you.”
Miranda took a deep, calming breath. “Good morning, Donny. Is everything okay with you?”
“Oh, yeah, I guess. It’s just that last weekend was supposed to be my time with the squirt and now I’m facing another lonely weekend without her.”
Donny was a good father, and he and Emily shared a special relationship. But he had agreed with Miranda’s plan. “I understand that,” she said. “But Donny, we talked about it. You knew I would have Em with me for a few weeks.”
“Sure, I knew, but I bought her this baton. She said she wanted one, and I found a really cool one with those plastic strips on it that you see on bicycle handles. She’s going to love it.”
“She will. I won’t tell her and spoil the surprise.”
“So do you have a timeline yet? How long will you be there?”
“I’ve made some strides with Lawton, but there is still work to be done. And I’m committed to staying as long as necessary.” There was a pause during which Miranda sensed Donny wanted to say more. Finally she asked, “Is that it?”
“No. I might as well just come out and say it. Have you seen Carter?”
Her stomach clinched. She had to make her contacts with Carter sound casual and friendly. Well, they were, weren’t they? “Yes, Donny, I saw him.”
“Did he mention... Did he say anything about me?”
“No, he didn’t. Did you expect him to?”
“No. I’ve known how Carter felt about me for a long time.”
“I didn’t see any sign of animosity where you’re concerned,” she said. “Carter seemed perfectly fine. Besides, he’s had so much sadness in his life that he doesn’t have to dwell on what happened to all of us over a decade ago.”
“Yeah, I remember hearing about the miscarriages. And how did you feel when you saw him? Any tingling going on you want to tell me about...?”
“Donny, stop it. I saw him. We chatted a bit.” My heart pounded, my palms sweat, my blood raced... “He actually offered a good suggestion for Lawton, and I thanked him.”
“Good old Carter,” Donny said. “Always willing to help out. What did he do for you?”
She told him about the cabin, but neglected to mention he was mentoring Lawton. So far Donny was taking Emily’s absence pretty well, and she didn’t want to upset him. “I have to go, Donny...”
“Wait, just one more question. What are you girls doing today?”
Going out to the Cahill home? No, she couldn’t say that. “We were just starting to plan our day when you called. I’m not sure what we’re doing.”
“Okay, tell Em I miss her.”
“Do you want to tell her yourself?”
“I already did. And I’m a little tired of talking about all this right now.”
All this what? Miranda wondered. Was he tired of hearing about Carter or tired of wondering when they’d be home?
r /> He ended the call without saying anything else. Miranda sat at the table and looked out the window onto Mrs. Dillingham’s lovely garden. She’d believed she loved Donny. She’d told herself she did. But no amount of persuasion worked. She did care for Donny, but her feelings for him simply had not run as strong as the ones she’d had for Carter. And now she’d damaged both of their lives.
Thirteen years earlier...
A LIGHT DUSTING of snow covered the campus of North Carolina State University in Raleigh. Snow was rare in North Carolina, and when it came, the entire population seemed mesmerized by its beauty. Miranda had just returned to school after spending the Christmas holidays with her mother in Hickory. Her freshman year was going well so far.
She entered the Liberal Arts administration building, took off her cap and brushed the snow away. And then she saw Donny Larson at the end of the hallway.
“Hey, Miranda!” he called. “I heard you were going to school here.” He trotted toward her. “Funny we haven’t run into each other before this.”
Happy to see a familiar face from home, Miranda smiled at him. She’d wanted to ask if he’d seen Carter, but didn’t. “Great to see you, Donny. How have you been?”
“Okay. College is the life, isn’t it? Nobody screaming at you to do your homework or get to bed earlier.”
“I suppose,” she said. “What’s your major? Have you decided yet?”
“Nah. I’ve got time. Now I’m just taking the regular freshmen courses the university recommends. How about you?”
She told him about her interest in social work. They chatted for a while until she told him she had to get to class.
“Hey, wait. Want to go out for coffee sometime? Or a movie?”
She gave him a strong look. “You don’t mean a date, do you? I mean you and Carter and I...?”
“Oh, no. Just a friendly thing. Two High Country kids getting together. That’s all.”
“Well, then, sure. That would be fine.” She gave him her cell phone number and went on to class. He called her that night and asked her opinion of the movies being shown at the Cineplex.
They pseudo-dated for most of the freshman year while going out with others, as well. By the end of term, Donny told her he was serious about her and wanted more than a buddy relationship.
At first Miranda gently declined, explaining that there was too much history between them. She even confessed that she still had feelings for Carter. But Donny didn’t give up. He said that they could continue seeing each other as friendly companions, exchanging simple kisses and occasionally holding hands. “But here’s the deal, ’Randa,” he said. “If by the time we graduate, and neither one have found the loves of our lives, then I’m going to ask you to marry me.”
She’d almost laughed at the absurd suggestion, but realized in time that he was sincere.
“I mean it,” he said. “I’ll pop the question and you give it serious consideration.” He smiled, took her hand and looked into her eyes. “That’s the deal.”
And she did give his offer serious consideration. By graduation she realized that she was very fond of Donny. She trusted him, felt comfortable and secure with him. He’d done well in school, and they shared the same goals. She’d never seen Carter again and even heard he’d married.
Miranda had accepted a job offer in Durham. So had Donny. They liked the same movies, laughed at the same jokes, enjoyed the same food. They’d been dating for four years, and marriage was the next logical step. So, without a lot of fuss, they married in the courthouse of Durham’s government district with just their parents and a few friends in attendance, and they started their lives together.
And she never admitted that her feelings for him weren’t quite as strong as the feelings she’d had for...
“Mom, what are you doing?”
“Oh, nothing, honey, just looking out the window.” Snap out of it, Miranda, she said to herself.
“What was your idea?” Emily asked. “What should we do today? Do we have to help Lawton again?”
“No, I don’t think so. Lawton is at the Christmas tree farm.” And Carter is working since this isn’t his day off. “I’m going to call an old friend, Em, a lady I used to know very well. She’s Carter’s mom. If she says it’s okay, we’re going out to her big house in the country and see her garden and her animals. How does that sound?”
“Like fun. I want to go.”
Yes, it sounded like fun. And it also seemed safe. With Carter working, Miranda could indulge her memories of the past in leisurely walks around the property. Maybe she could feel as close to Carter as she once had without the specter of Raymond always hanging over her head. Maybe today the memories would only be sweet ones, and she could stop thinking about how Carter was affecting her life, her sleep, her rational thoughts now, fourteen years later.
“Hello, Cora? This is Miranda...”
The question was barely out of her mouth before Cora was urging her to come out to the farm and gushing that she couldn’t wait to meet Emily.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
THE DRIVE OUT of town to Hidden Creek Road was cool, fragrant and lush with summer greenness. Many old-timers still lived on the large lots on Hidden Creek in big houses they’d bought or inherited from relatives. Many had moved into town, deciding the oversize properties were too much to maintain for couples in their golden years.
Miranda had driven Hidden Creek with Carter so many times she could name most of the families who lived in the homey farmhouses. “That’s where the Sampsons lived,” she said to Emily. “Mr. Sampson grew the state-fair-winning pumpkin one year. The Martindales lived there. Marty Martindale was on the cheerleading team with me. And that’s where...”
“Jeesh, Mom, did you know everybody?”
Miranda laughed. “No, but probably most everybody. Now I don’t even know if the original families still occupy those houses. Many people have probably moved on.”
“Like you did, right?”
Miranda nodded.
“But these houses are really nice,” Emily said. “Why would anyone want to leave places like this?”
Like they would the cabins on Liggett Mountain? Miranda finished the thought in her head. “Things just change,” she said. “And people go away to find something else they’re looking for.”
“What were you looking for, Mom?” Emily asked.
“I was just looking for a good education, Em.” A good answer, but considering her need to escape the overwhelming grief, a lie.
The Cahill home appeared around the next curve, looking large and stately, but more like a house from a Norman Rockwell picture than a Southern mansion. Cora Cahill had made a beautiful home out of this structure. Miranda had always wanted to feel welcome inside the cozy walls, but Raymond Cahill had prevented that from happening.
She pulled into the curving drive and parked in front of the two-story white wooden house with its wraparound porch, subtle Victorian charm and sturdy brick foundation. Oddly, the home did not reflect the grandeur that Miranda remembered. The gingerbread trim over the porch was in need of paint. The porch floorboards were faded, and the cushions on the chairs worn. Funny, Miranda thought, how one’s perceptions were often quite different from reality. Perhaps maintenance on the house had suffered since Raymond died. But it was still a welcoming property, and she was glad to be here.
Cora came out the front door wearing jeans, a T-shirt and an apron tied at her waist. She scurried down the steps to the drive and grabbed Emily’s hand when she got out of the car. Miranda had noticed her mostly gray hair at the tree farm, but today the color seemed almost silver.
“Well, looky here,” she said, staring at Emily with eyes filled with maple syrup warmth. “You must be Emily. You look just like your mommy.”
“Emily, this is Mrs. Cahill,” Miranda said.
“Nonsense. It’s Cora, hon
ey. Nobody calls me Mrs. Cahill unless they’re expecting a donation.”
Emily passed a confused glance at her mother but then said, “Nice to meet you, Cora.”
“I’ve got dough ready on the kitchen table,” Cora said. “Just waiting to put in the chocolate chips. How would you like to help me? Then maybe your mom will let us cheat a bit and have cookies before lunch.”
Emily waited for the encouragement her mother gave her and darted along behind Cora into the house.
“You come in when you’re ready, Miranda,” Cora said. “Or just take some time here on the porch. We’ll be fine.”
Standing on the worn red-stained planks of the wide porch, Miranda felt like time had stood still for her. The white railings were still smooth under her palm. The large ferns hanging from the ceiling still tickled her forehead and cheeks. The breeze was like no other—tinged with peat moss and the sweet scent of cut grass and new flowers from the garden.
When she heard the door open again, Miranda turned to see who had come onto the porch. Was Carter here after all? No, she hadn’t seen his patrol car. Still, her heart beat a sudden rapid rhythm at the thought.
But it was Ava Cahill who appeared on the porch, Carter’s sister and oldest of the three Cahill children. Tall, elegant, classic Ava, always the one to command respect even though she didn’t need to command it. There had been times when poor Miranda Jefferson had hidden her jealousy of Ava, the girl who had everything. Good grades, lots of friends and nice to everyone, even the ones who envied her... Carter used to say that Raymond really had only one child—Ava. Jace and himself, the old man just tolerated.
Two years older than Carter, Ava was thirty-five, and she carried her years with confidence and style. No blue jeans for her, she had on creased black denims with a white, almost businesslike blouse. Her dark hair fell to her shoulders in a sleek turned-under do that seemed to have been artistically created for her prominent cheekbones and finely arched brows.
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