“No. He sees me and he’ll know it’s a setup. I’ve made it clear, face to face, to that punk-ass lowlife how I won’t rest until I personally throw him into prison and bury the key beneath hell.”
Fear set in on Secret. “So, I’m on my own.”
“For the most part. I have a couple other boys on it. Well, should I say, a boy and a girl. But don’t you worry about that. Besides, he’ll never hurt you.”
Secret turned and looked out of the window while whispering to herself, “He already has.”
Lucky had been the only person to take Secret in when she’d been down and out. And now here was Ray. She was grateful, but she only prayed things ended better with Ray than they had with Lucky.
“Safe and sound together is where mother and baby belong,” Ray told her.
“But if it hadn’t been for you, God only knows.”
“I’m just glad I could help.”
“But why?”
Ray was a little stumped. “Why I’m glad or why I helped you?”
“Why you helped me. I’m practically a stranger and you let me into your home, your beautiful home. You know the only reason they let me out is because I have to set Lucky up. I have to be a rat. Pretend to be something I’m not, and yet you still trust me here. How do you know I’m not setting you up? That when you come home from work one day your place won’t be cleaned out?” Secret shook her head. “I just don’t know if I could trust anybody like that.” Clearly Secret was now going to be a victim of trust issues, thanks to Lucky. But perhaps this was what karma looked like. After all, when she first got with Lucky it was to play him. Even though she opened up to him and shared the truth, she was still the one who got played in the end.
“How old are you? What, about twenty, twenty-one?” Ray asked Secret.
“Eighteen,” Secret replied. “I’ll be nineteen in a few weeks.”
“Take it from someone who will be thirty before they know it. Trust is an issue you’re always going to have to deal with in life. You can’t walk around being a prisoner of it. If you did, just think about all the relationships you could miss out on. Hell, you could have been setting me up that night at the gas station for all I knew, but I still chose to help you, and now look what that has led to.”
Secret nodded. Ray had a point.
“Have I been burned before?” Ray asked. “Sure, and back in my day when I was young, dumb, and just didn’t give a fuck, I burned some people too, ruining relationships that I regret every single day. But we can’t live in the past; if we do we can’t enjoy the present and won’t be able to thrive toward a future. I’m choosing to go with my gut, to go with my instincts.”
“Oh, yeah?” Secret asked. “And what are your instincts telling you?”
“That you’re going to be all right, and I’ll be able to sleep better at night knowing that I had a hand in it and didn’t watch you get thrown back into jail while Dina got dumped in the system somewhere. I would have never been able to live with myself or even think straight. It would have constantly been on my mind.”
Secret smiled. “Well, thank you. I know that’s not nearly enough to show my gratitude for what you have done for me, and I don’t know how I’ll ever repay you.”
Ray smiled and leaned closer to Secret, placing her hand on top of hers. “Don’t worry, Li’l Muffin. I’m sure we’ll think of something.”
Chapter 9
As promised, the first chance Ray got she took Secret downtown to get her state case situated. Secret was happy to find that her welfare benefits had not been interrupted and were still in effect. Due to the birth of the baby, her monthly check was even increased. Ray also took her to the office of the place she’d signed up for in the hospital that would help her out with milk and dairy products for her and the baby. They had to take some type of iron tests where their fingers were pricked.
“Thank you for spending your day off driving us around,” Secret told Ray. “Detective Davis said he’s going to see about getting my vehicle back.”
“No problem,” Ray said, “But first things first; let’s go see about getting your apartment back.”
Secret gave Ray the address to the place she was staying before she went to jail. Ten minutes later they were on the doorstep.
“Well, at least there is no huge orange eviction sticker on the door,” Secret said as she dug in her purse for her keys. She fiddled around with them.
“Do you remember which one it is?” Ray asked her.
“It’s only been a little over a month. Unless having a baby gives a woman amnesia, I better remember.” She laughed, finding the key and unlocking the door. She slowly opened it not knowing what to expect. She looked around and everything seemed to be in the same condition as it was the last time she was there. No furniture was turned over. The chair by the door was in place. The couch, the coffee table, and the television all in their same positions. The two-seater table set in the dining area off of the living room and before you get to the kitchen appeared fine. Papers weren’t thrown all over the place. It looked as though it hadn’t been touched.
“Does it look like the police have been here at all?” Ray said, looking around.
“Not from what I can tell,” Secret said.
“That’s probably because they knew better than to waste their time. They knew that dope wasn’t yours, that you weren’t no drug dealer.”
Detective Davis had told Secret that he’d been watching Lucky and therefore had been watching her. A wave of anger dispatched within Secret’s being. It had just hit her at that very moment that those cops knew she was innocent all along. They knew that duffle bag full of cocaine wasn’t hers. They’d probably watched Lucky himself place it in the back of her car. His luck wasn’t that bad to have just so happened to get pulled over riding dirty.
With Dina in her car seat in hand, Secret headed through the living room, to the small dining area and into the kitchen. She hated to admit it, but she probably would feel a little better if the police had turned over a table, pulled out a few drawers or something to back up their case that they believed she was a drug dealer.
The closer she got, the stronger the smell got that was assaulting her nose. “Uhgggg!” Secret moaned out just a couple seconds later after entering the kitchen.
Ray rushed into the kitchen. “What’s wrong?”
“This.” Secret pinched her nose and pointed to the garbage can that had maggots crawling around on food that had been scraped into the trash.
“Jesus!” Ray ran over and opened up the cabinet underneath the kitchen sink. She dug around until she found what she was looking for. She slipped the long rubber gloves onto her hands and then went back over to the trash can. “Open the door,” she ordered Secret.
Secret went and opened the back door. Ray pulled the bag out of the can, tied it up and placed it in the back alleyway. Secret stood in the doorway watching.
“Thank you so much,” Secret said as Ray came back into the house, removing the gloves. Secret shook off the creepiness she felt.
“Girl, in my line of work, I’ve seen maggots on people’s bodies before.”
“You know you just made me throw up in my mouth, right?” Secret fake gagged.
The two shared a laugh.
Ray put her hands on her hips and then looked around. “If li’l bit is going to stay here, this place needs to be cleaned from top to bottom and sanitized first. You can’t subject a week-old baby to all these wandering germs. I’m going to have a friend of mine named Gene send her crew out. She owns her own cleaning company. They do excellent work. Ivy and I have them clean our house every few months.”
“No wonder your home is so spotless. I wondered how you managed to keep it spic and span with all the hours you put in at the hospital and with Ivy on the road.”
“Well, now you know my secret.” Ray winked. “Do you want to grab anything? Clothes or something while you’re here?”
“That’s a good idea.” Secret headed out of
the kitchen and to the stairs. “Keep an eye on her for me, would you?” She pointed to Dina sitting in her seat and then went upstairs to go get some things. She paused the moment she hit her closet. Sitting right by the door was the overnight bag she’d packed for when she went into labor. Next to that was the Coach diaper bag Shawndiece had bought her filled with all the things the baby would need its first few days in the hospital, including the beige outfit, fit for a girl or a boy, to wear home.
Secret shook off the thoughts of how things should have played out, opened her closet, and grabbed a suitcase. Ten minutes later she made her way down the steps with her overnight hospital bag, the diaper bag, and the suitcase.
“Gene said they can come out and take care of this place next week,” Ray said as she slipped her cell phone into her pocket once Secret had come down the stairs. She looked down at all the stuff Secret was toting. “So you really don’t have to bring a month’s worth of stuff.” She laughed.
“I know, right.” Secret laughed. “I figured it was better to have more than enough than not enough at all. For the last four days I’ve been at your house I’ve had to keep rinsing out the same three pair of panties.” Secret had the pair of panties she’d actually had on while she was arrested. She bought two pair off of another inmate whose husband had purchased and sent her a pack.
“Uhhh, TMI. I don’t need to know your drawers look like that trash bag: all kinds of critters crawling around in them”
They both shared another laugh.
“Humph, if only you knew,” Secret said. Thank God the hospital had given her a nice supply of heavy duty pads to capture the bleeding she would be having. With no money, the last thing she wanted to do was have to ask Ray could she borrow some dang on sanitary napkins. Fortunately she’d had a nice supply of her own under her bathroom sink that she’d packed in her suitcase.
“You ready?” Ray asked Secret.
“Yep.” She looked around the room. She couldn’t wait to return and start a new beginning. This time she’d be sharing the place with her baby girl. Having to camp out at somebody else’s place wasn’t exactly what Secret would have wanted for her and her child, but it beat any other options, which were slim to none. It made Secret feel good inside to know that she was at least capable of providing a roof over her child’s head.
“Here, give me the baby bag and I’ll carry the baby, too.”
Secret handed Ray the baby bag. She opened the front door and Ray walked out with Dina and the diaper bag. Secret locked up and then followed Ray to the car with the suitcase and duffle bag. After putting the items in the trunk, she got in the passenger seat and as Ray pulled off she looked to her apartment and mumbled the famous last words, “I’ll be back.”
When Ray walked into the house it was after midnight. She hadn’t been home in two days. One of the nurses called in sick and so she had told Secret she volunteered to take her shift as well. It wasn’t unusual for doctors and nurses to have to camp out at the hospital on some occasions.
“Because I’m not married and don’t have kids, I’m usually the one everyone looks to, to volunteer to fill in,” Ray had told Secret over the phone the night she called her to tell her she wouldn’t be home from the hospital.
Exhausted, Ray made her way into the kitchen to try to find something to eat before she turned in for the night. The house appeared to be dark except for the nightlight air fresheners plugged in throughout the house. Once she entered the kitchen, it was more so dim than dark. It had a tad more lighting than what the nightlights had produced.
“What the . . . ?” she said as a look of wonderment took over her facial expression.
“Surprise,” Secret said in a whisper. The baby was upstairs sleeping, and although nine times out of ten she wouldn’t have heard her voice, she still didn’t want to take any chances.
“What is all of this?” Ray said as she walked over to the island that separated the kitchen area from the dining area. Laid out on the island was a smorgasbord of finger foods such as chicken tenders, meatballs, cold cut rolls, and a relish tray. There were cheese crackers and a fruit tray as well. Ray’s eyes wandered to the bottle of Moscato in an ice bucket with a long-stem candle on each side that sat in the center of it all.
Secret followed Ray’s eyes to the bottle of wine. “I hope you don’t mind. I’m under age and couldn’t buy alcohol on my own. I found it under the bar downstairs.”
Ray just stood their speechless.
“Tah dah!” Secret spread her arms wide. “It’s for you.”
Ray put her hand over her heart and her eyes lit up. “What? Why?”
“Do you really have to ask?” Secret said. “Besides the fact that you work your butt off and you’ve let Dina and me stay here almost three weeks?” Although Secret’s apartment had been cleaned last week, the cleaning crew spotted what they thought were mice droppings. This was reported to the landlord who had the place exterminated. Secret had just gotten the word today that the exterminator had returned to her apartment to do a check, and the coast was clear. She and Dina were safe to move back in.
“But, I wanted to help. I told you that already.” Ray looked at the spread again. “You really didn’t have to do all this. It’s late. You need to rest when the baby is resting.”
“Like you said, I figured out a way to thank you and this is it.”
“Oh, and I do love it.” Ray, with her arms spread open, walked over to Secret and hugged her. “Thank you, Li’l Muffin.” She squeezed Secret in tightly. When she pulled back her arms were still around Secret. Secret was staring into her eyes smiling. Ray smiled back. Before she knew it, Secret was getting closer and closer until her lips pressed against Ray’s.
Secret gave her a quick but soft peck. Ray stood there, not really returning the kiss, but not refusing it either. Before she could even reply one way or another, Secret’s lips were pressed against hers again. This time it wasn’t a quick peck. This time Secret allowed her lips to relax on Ray’s then she slightly slid her tongue into her mouth.
For some reason Secret anticipated Ray rejecting her, maybe pushing her away, but surprisingly, Ray took in her tongue and began to suck on it. Secret had no idea what she was doing. Never in her life had she even fantasized about being with a woman. Even as she put together this setup for Ray tonight, her intentions were merely to thank Ray for looking out for her and Dina these past three weeks, not to make a move on her. Ray had never once given Secret the impression that she wanted to get with her or that she had a hidden agenda. It’s just that tonight, with the candlelight, the atmosphere mixed with Secret’s genuine feeling of gratitude, somehow these feelings for Ray surfaced in Secret’s being.
With her arms over Secret’s shoulders, Ray placed her hand on the nape of Secret’s neck and pulled her into her even more. The women swirled their heads and tongues in sync so that their mouths would be in a perfect position for their tongues to make love. Secret’s arms were positioned under Ray’s arms with her hands rubbing her shoulder blades.
“Mmm,” Ray moaned as Secret now sucked on her tongue. Ray allowed her hands to slowly glide their way from Secret’s neck, to her back, to her buttocks. Ray moved her hands to Secret’s hips then allowed them to grip Secret’s ass cheeks. This made Secret moan. With a mind of their own, Ray’s fingers walked toward where the good Lord had split Secret then down toward her secret garden. Suddenly Ray stopped. She pulled away with a twisted up face and then pushed Secret away.
Secret knew exactly what had caused this type of reaction from Ray and she couldn’t help but bust out laughing.
“Girl,” Ray said with a disgusted look on her face. “How you gon’ try to get freaky with somebody wearing that big ol’ mattress between your legs?” Ray said.
“I am so sorry,” Secret said between laughs. She placed her hand over her mouth to try to silent it, but she couldn’t help it. The look on Ray’s face was priceless.
Eventually Ray allowed her face to fall into a smile. Aft
er watching Secret howl in laughter, it became contagious and she started laughing too.
Secret and Ray laughed hysterically, turning the once intimate moment to a comical one. It wasn’t clear whether they were laughing off or away the entire kissing incident or the fact that Ray had tried to cop a feel of Secret’s bootie only to be blocked by her big ol’ maxi pad. It didn’t even matter at this point. Comic relief was probably much needed in this situation. No telling where things could have gone had it been three weeks later and Secret’s body was pretty much back to normal where she could do her usual things. A blooming friendship could have been jeopardized. Thank goodness they wouldn’t have to find out. At least not tonight.
Chapter 10
“That’s everything,” Ray said as she carried the last of the grocery bags into Secret’s apartment.
Secret was so glad to be back in the place she called home. It wasn’t much, but it was hers. Even though she was still just a teenager, it made her feel all grown up. All of the furniture was the same old furniture she’d had before going to jail, but it just felt so brand new. Everything felt brand new. For once she wasn’t thinking about Lucky, Detective Davis, or anything else. Just her and her baby.
“Thank you so much for stopping me at the store on the way to bringing me home,” Secret told Ray.
“It was on the way. No problem,” Ray said. “You gon’ be all right here? You need anything else?”
“I think we’re going to be good.” Secret looked around her place, smiling. It was nothing even remotely close to Ray’s place, but it was hers and it was home. Besides, once Dina got older where she could go to preschool, Secret planned on taking some college courses at the community college. No, it wasn’t The Ohio State University and she would miss out on being a traditional college student living on the college campus, but right now she had to make the tallest and freshest glass of lemonade she could with the lemon life had given her.
“Well, I have to head into work. I’m working double shifts the next two days, which is rough considering Ivy will be back home in a couple days. I need to get the house ready for her and whatnot. She’ll only be home for a few days before her band hits the road again. So I’ll be pretty busy for the next week or so.”
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