Shawndiece just stood there. Secret could see dollar signs in her friend’s eyes. She knew how important money and any type of come up was for Shawndiece.
“I know leaving money on the table is not something you do,” Secret told Shawndiece. “But all money is not good money, and in this instance, that is truer than ever.” Secret thought for a minute. “Lucky dropped me a stack for the little bit of work I put in. You can have it. I don’t want it.” Secret still had the wad of cash in her purse as she spoke. She dug down into her purse that was hanging on Dina’s stroller. She pulled the money out and began to stuff it into Shawndiece’s hands. “Here. Just take it. I don’t want it anyway. It’s blood money as far as I’m concerned.”
“Secret, stop it,” Shawndiece said as passersby began eyeing them. “You trying to get us knocked over the head and mugged out here?”
“Please, Shawn, I’m begging you.” By now tears were streaming down Secret’s face. Her shoulders began to heave and she was starting to make a scene out in public.
“Calm down, Secret. Just calm down.” Shawndiece pulled Secret in for a hug. She could feel her body trembling. She’d never seen her friend like this before. “Okay, okay. I’ll do it. I’ll meet up with Lucky tonight and tell him I’m out.”
“Promise?” Secret sniffed.
“Promise,” Shawndiece said.
That was good enough for Secret. Never in their entire friendship had Shawndiece ever broken a promise to Secret, so she had no reason to think she would start now, especially one as serious as this.
Shawndiece used one hand to pat Secret on her back to calm her down and comfort her. She kept the other hand on the small of Secret’s back, with her fingers crossed.
Chapter 28
Shawndiece ended up leaving the park before Secret. Secret strolled Dina around a few more minutes and then ultimately made her way back to the parking lot. Secret was truly on cloud nine, that was until she noticed her car hooked up to a tow truck about to be towed away.
“Hey, wait! That’s my car,” Secret yelled out as she began a light jog with the stroller, trying to make it over to her car before the tow truck driver pulled off.
He hadn’t even turned her way when she yelled out. He looked to be on his truck radio, more than likely calling in the tow.
“Please wait!” Out of breath, Secret made it over to the driver’s door before he pulled off. “This is my car. What’s going on? I wasn’t parked in handicap or anything.”
“No, but you are parked with expired tags.”
“Expired tags?” Secret thought she would just die. With all that had been going on, she’d forgotten to go down to the BMV and get new tags on her birthday a while back. She’d remembered mentioning her upcoming birthday to Ray. But with so much drama in her life, celebrating her nineteenth birthday had been low on the totem pole. “Damn it,” she said under her breath.
“Where are you taking my car to?” Secret asked.
“Police impound. You’re gonna have to go get new tags first. You got a ticket.” He pointed to the ticket on her windshield. “So you’re going to have to go pay that as well. Show proof of both to the police impound lot and your car will be all yours. That is after you pay them for any tow and storage fees.”
Just listening to him tell her everything she had to do gave her a headache. “Won’t I need my registration? It’s in the glove box.” She pointed to her car.
He looked at Secret, looked down at the baby stroller, thought for a moment and then looked back up at Secret again. He let out a loud huff and then opened the door and got out of his truck. He climbed up to the passenger side of Secret’s car. “Hey, unlock it.”
Secret pulled her keys out of her purse and hit the key fob to unlock the doors. The tow truck driver dug through her glove box and found the registration. He snatched the ticket off the windshield and then went and handed them both to Secret.
“Thank you,” Secret said.
He tilted the dingy Michigan State snap back he was wearing then drove off.
“For nothing,” Secret said. She looked down at Dina. “How in the world are we going to get home?” Secret pulled her phone out of her purse real quick, dialed, and then put the phone to her ear. “Hey, Shawndiece, are you still around the park area? My car got towed,” Secret said. She let out a sigh of relief when Shawndiece told her she’d be there in ten minutes to pick her up.
Shawndiece picked up Secret and Dina from the park. Secret had to sit in the back seat with Dina because she’d forgotten to get the car seat from her car before it was towed away. From there they headed to the BMV. They’d have to spend the day beating the clock before everything closed. Thank goodness they had that wad of cash Lucky had given Secret. No telling how much it was going to cost altogether to get Secret’s car back.
From the BMV, Shawndiece drove Secret downtown to pay her ticket. She wasn’t sure if she needed to go to traffic court or the police station. She hadn’t thought to ask the person who helped her at the BMV. Heck, she might have even been able to pay it there for all she knew. She’d start with traffic court first. Fortunately she was able to pay at the district listed on the ticket. All of that took another forty-five minutes.
Secret walked to the elevator bank and rode down to the lobby. The elevator felt like it had stopped on every single floor letting people on before it finally reached the lobby. Secret couldn’t wait for those elevator doors to open. Someone on that elevator hadn’t showered in days, maybe weeks according to the smell that almost suffocated Secret. She raced off the elevator, heading to the exit doors when something caught her eye. Someone.
Over at the entrance doors, where security was set up, Secret saw someone who looked familiar, someone who she hadn’t seen in a while. She watched as the person lifted the jacket they were wearing and removed a gun from a holster on their waist. Next they pulled out something and showed the security. It looked like it was an ID or something. Secret saw the person open the other side of their jacket and flash. From the distance Secret was at, she couldn’t tell exactly what it was, but it sure as heck looked like a badge.
“What the . . .” Secret said as someone trying to exit bumped Secret out of the way and kept going. Not fazed by their rudeness, but more concerned about the scene playing out before her, Secret made her way over to the entrance.
By the time the familiar face went through the security formalities, Secret was standing there waiting, looking at them eyeball to eyeball.
“Who the fuck are you? Who the fuck are you?” Secret screamed with tears falling from her eyes. It didn’t even register in her mind where she was and that this is the last place she should be making a scene.
“Secret?” This person was clearly just as caught off guard with seeing Secret as she was at seeing them. The surprised and startled tone was a dead giveaway.
“Officer Maxwell,” the man at the security post called out. “You okay?”
“Yes, yes. I’m good,” she answered, and then took Secret by the elbow and walked her over to the women’s bathroom. As soon as they entered, she locked the bathroom door and went to make sure no one was in there.
“What is going on?” Secret said, tears running down her face. Today had just been too hectic. Too much for her to face yet another situation that would probably pan out to be even more betrayal.
The woman who Secret stared down took a deep breath, washed her hands down her face then squeezed her eyes closed tightly. It was as if she was gathering her words before she spoke. She opened her eyes and let out the deep breath she’d been holding in. Next she finally spoke. “I’m Officer Olivia Raygiene Maxwell. Special duty undercover agent for the city of Flint, state of Michigan.”
“Ray? Raygiene?” Secret threw one hand over her mouth and the other over her stomach as if a sharp pain had hit her. She hunched over. She opened up her mouth to let out a crying yelp, but nothing came out. She had no air. She couldn’t breathe. Anything she thought wanted to come out of her throa
t was stuck.
“Secret, please.” Ray went to walk toward Secret and place her hand on her back.
Secret quickly removed her hand from her mouth and shot straight up, pushing Ray back. Secret began to shake her head from side to side. “No,” she finally managed to get out. “Don’t you come near me. Don’t you touch me. You are a liar. You were never there to help me, you were always there because you were getting paid to be there. You never cared about me or my daughter,” Secret cried. “First my mother, now you. Who the fuck else is on Team Detective Davis instead of Team Secret?”
“Secret, I am on your team. Can’t you see that? That’s why I wanted to make sure you were all right. That I took care of you.”
“Is that so?”
“Yes, that’s so.”
“So then eating my pussy is what you call taking care of me?”
Ray had no comeback for that one.
Secret put her hands to her head. “I can’t. I mean, I don’t understand. Is everyone willing to sell their soul just to get Lucky?” She sucked her teeth. “I guess I have some nerve asking that question seeming I’ve done the same thing.” She looked to Ray. “But I have a good reason. That son of a bitch got me locked up. Had me damn near having my baby in a jail cell. He has done nothing but turned my life upside down. Just killed my spirit.” Secret squatted down and just bawled.
“He killed my spirit too,” Ray said, “when he killed my sister.”
Secret looked up at Ray. Suddenly her wound didn’t seem as deep as Ray’s. “Your sister?”
“Yeah, my baby sister,” Ray began to explain. “She, uhh, you know how it goes, started hanging out with the wrong crowd. Long story short, she ended up messing with an old friend of Lucky’s. Lucky turned against his friend and my baby sister ended up getting caught in the crossfire. So when it all boils down to it, I wanted Lucky just as bad as the next person,” Ray said. “I’ve been working the case for a couple of years now. I thought I’d blown my cover that day at the house when he thought he recognized me.” Ray gave Secret the opportunity to speak, but she said nothing, so Ray continued. “My sister was everything to me.”
Now all of a sudden Secret felt bad for going off on Ray like she had done. She was still pissed, but the good heart she had had empathy for Ray as well. “What was your sister’s name?”
“Ivy,” Ray said.
Secret looked at her bug-eyed. “So Ivy is your sister, not your girlfriend?”
Ray nodded. “Those pictures you saw, that was me and Ivy. Pictures are all that I have left of her and Lucky is responsible for her death. The day I buried my sister I made a vow and a promise to her that I’d get his ass no matter what it took and by any means necessary.”
“Even if it meant using me?” Secret asked.
“I wasn’t using you, Secret. I was protecting you. And I know you might not believe me, but I didn’t even look at that as part of a job. I wanted to be there for you.”
Secret could have stood there, been angry, hurt, and deceived by Ray, going back and forth with her over and over. But what did it matter now? Still, Secret could not believe what she was hearing. Everyone who she ever thought wanted to help her, to truly help her, had had their own hidden agenda. Everyone had used her and she’d been too dumb, naïve, and blind to see it.
“Well, thank you for being there for me, Officer Maxwell,” Secret said sarcastically. She then walked over to the bathroom door and unlocked it. Before exiting she turned around and said to Ray, “Like Detective Davis told me, ‘you did good.’” And on that note, Secret exited the bathroom.
As she walked to the exit door of the building, she couldn’t help but think about how everyone seemed to have played a part in this whole mess. Everyone seemed to be a piece of this crazy puzzle, even Secret herself, so who was she to judge? Everyone had something to gain out of this. But for some reason, Secret felt that she was the only one who had something to lose.
Chapter 29
Secret’s stomach had been twisted in knots ever since she woke up this morning. Today was the day. It was Friday; the big drug buy was going down today and thanks to Secret informing Detective Davis of all the details, the police would be there to witness Lucky’s participation. He would be caught with his hand in the cookie jar so to speak. For once and for all Flint’s most wanted would become the property of the State of Michigan.
All day long Secret had been brushing off the guilt of having set up Lucky. She asked herself why she couldn’t be more like Shawndiece when it came to her feelings. Had she just told the cops that the dope had belonged to Lucky in the first place, none of this would be taking place. Lucky would have been the one who got hauled off to jail and he would have been nice and comfortable in prison by now. This would all be over with. Had it been Shawndiece getting hauled off to jail for dope that wasn’t hers, she would have told the police the drugs were Lucky’s without them even having to ask. But Secret was human with a decent heart. Perhaps a good characteristic to have, but it had always seemed more like a flaw, never working in her favor.
But even Shawndiece had managed to get caught up. Money and material things had always been Shawndiece’s guilty pleasures. She felt that was her ticket out of the hood, while Secret had always felt it was her education that was her escape route. Thank God Secret had talked Shawndiece into giving up the life. Maybe hearing about Lucky’s forthcoming downfall would have her thanking Secret for getting her out of the game.
Secret had just finished feeding Dina and was burping her when there was a knock at her door. With baby on shoulder, Secret walked over to the door, looked out of the peephole and saw that it was Kat. Secret hadn’t spoken with Kat since the whole video of her and Shawndiece fighting. She’d decided to table that conversation until everything went down. Definitely since the whole Ray thing and not knowing who she could trust and who she couldn’t, she didn’t want to say the wrong thing to the wrong person. Therefore Secret had kept to herself the last couple days.
“Hey, momma, what’s up?” Kat said all happy go lucky as she walked up into Secret’s apartment.
“Hey,” Secret said dryly.
Kat kissed Dina on the head and started doing baby talk. “How’s auntie’s baby? How is auntie’s little girl? I’ve got something for you.” Kat held up a Macy’s shopping bag.
Dina lifted her head and started smiling.
“I was trying to burp her, do you mind?” Secret snapped off.
Kat pulled back and stared at Secret. “Damn, what’s wrong with you?” She set the bag down on the coffee table.
Secret sighed. “Nothing I’m sorry. I just . . .” Secret went and sat down in the chair.
“Something’s bothering you. It’s written all over your face,” Kat said as she sat on the couch. “And you just bit my head off for nothing. That’s not like you. Come on, talk to me, sis. What gives?”
Secret felt as though the weight of the world was on her shoulders. It would be nice to finally lift some of the weight by sharing what was going on in her life. Her mother had given her the right name for sure, because it seemed like all she did was keep secrets and live a secret life. But today it would all be over with. She would start things anew. She would forget all about the day she ever met Lucky. Secret closed her eyes and thought for a minute until tears began seeping out of her eyes. Everything was just too much. Far too much to bear, alone.
She felt Kat’s hand rest on her knee. She opened her eyes to see a concerned pair staring back at her.
“What is it, sis? You can talk to me,” Kat said.
Kat was right, Secret thought. They were sisters and if Secret couldn’t share her feelings with anyone else she could certainly share them with Kat. At first she’d felt skeptical about what she could say to Kat and what she couldn’t say because of Kat’s own connection with Lucky. But Lucky was pretty much history now so none of that mattered. What did matter, though, was Secret getting things off of her chest and be able to breathe again.
�
��It’s Lucky,” Secret finally said.
Kat twitched a little as if she was uncomfortable. But then again it could have been a cross between being anxious. “What about Lucky?”
“Well, you know I’ve been seeing him,” Secret said.
“Honestly you didn’t have a choice. He is Dina’s father so—”
“No, it wasn’t like that.”
Kat paused and swallowed hard. “Wha . . . what do you mean?” She began tapping her foot on the ground. “Like seeing seeing him? Like him not just coming over to see Dina, but to see you too? Like y’all getting back together again type of seeing?” Kat waited with baited breath.
Secret nodded.
It looked as though all the blood had drained from Kat. She balled a fist and then stood up pacing. “That son of a—”
“It wasn’t just on him,” Secret interrupted, seeing how teed off Kat was with Lucky. “It wasn’t him talking sweet little naïve Secret into getting back with him,” Secret admitted. “I wanted to get back with him.”
Kat stopped pacing and looked at Secret like she was crazy.
“Correction, I had to get back with him.”
“What do you mean had to?” Kat had an apparent attitude with her baby sister. “You act like somebody had a gun to your head.”
“Something like that,” Secret said.
“What do you mean something like that? Is he threatening you? Is that what it is?” Kat was getting agitated. Secret was taking too long to spill the beans.
“The police, it’s why they let me out of jail. To get back in good with Lucky. Get him to trust me, find out what he had going on, so that I could . . .” Secret paused. She still hated the fact that she’d been a part of setting Lucky up. That wasn’t who she was but it was who she had become.
“So that you could what, Secret?” Kat sat back down and glared at Secret with such intensity. She started shaking her head. She had a look on her face that read, “Lord, please don’t tell me what I think you are about to tell me.” She started bouncing her knee.
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