by Woods, Karen
The subsequent conversation at the table passed as a blur to her.
Yosef spoke to her, breaking her out of her thoughts. “You seem distracted, Miriam.”
“I had some news today about my mother’s youngest sister, Elisheva,” Miriam said. “I am concerned.”
“Is she ill?” Yosef asked in concern.
“Not precisely. The news said she is with child.”
Everyone looked at her as though she had gone mad.
“At her age,” Yosef replied, with wonder in his voice.
“My mother was also well past the normal age when I was born,” Miriam said, forcing a smile. “My family is known for unusual births. What is one more?”
Or two? she thought but did not say to them.
Ahron, Lydia’s husband, said, “I heard Zechariah was struck dumb on Yom Kippur while in the Holy of Holies.”
“Yes, I have heard that myself,” Miriam said. “What he saw of the glory of Kadosh Yisra’el,” the Holy One of Yisra’el, “has taken away his ability to speak. We can only hope this fades, like the radiance faded from Moshe after he received the tablets of the law, and that Zechariah regains his speech.”
“Your family has been especially blessed,” Yehuda said.
You have no idea, and you probably wouldn’t believe me if I told you how much Avinu Malkeinu has indeed blessed us, Miriam thought, fighting back a bubble of something that felt close to hysteria.
“I need to go to Elisheva,” Miriam stated.
“Of course, if you believe you can help her, you must go,” Yosef replied. “How would you go to her? It is a long journey and I cannot leave my work, right now, to escort you there safely. The caravan road leads through Samaria, down to Yerushalayim, and Hebron is but a day’s walk from there. Yet, Samaria is not a safe area for a woman to walk through alone.”
“Levi, the merchant, and Seraphina have a married daughter, Ruth, who lives near Hebron, not far from Elisheva. Seraphina told me this morning that she is going to her daughter, to be there during Ruth’s confinement with this their first grandchild. She’ll be gone about three months. She asked me if I would go with her as a companion on this journey as far as Ruth’s house. She will pay my travel expenses there and back. She wants a woman with her for company on the journey.”
“I can’t blame her for that,” Lydia said. “It is a long way to travel.”
“Yes, it is a long journey. But she is willing to take me all but the last few miles. I can easily walk from Ruth’s house to Elisheva’s home. I told Seraphina I’d think about it.”
“I will have a word about this with Levi after prayers tomorrow morning,” Yosef said. “It is too bad you hadn’t received this news before we all went to Yerushalayim for Pesach,” Passover.
“I wish I had gone to see her, then, while we were nearby. Still, your brother, Halphai, was eager to get back to Natsarat, and wasn’t the only one of our group who wanted to come home as quickly as possible. Because Elisheva hadn’t answered my letter, I didn’t feel it was proper to suddenly appear on their doorstep.”
“You never know with letters,” Hadassah dismissed. Then she added, in a wistful tone, “Sometimes, I think it would be wonderful to be rich enough to have messengers just to carry my letters from place to place.”
Shimon chortled. “And just who would you write to? You know no one outside of Natsarat.”
“That’s not true,” Hadassah retorted, clearly offended. “There are the kin in Yerushalayim and Bethlehem and a few other people scattered here and there around the Empire. My friend Adah lives in Roma, now, you might recall. It would be nice to keep in touch with her.”
“Enough, children,” Yosef said. “Everyone can dream about what he would do if he were rich. I’m certain everyone has a wish list of things. Miriam, my dear, what is on your list?”
She shrugged. “I can’t think of a thing I need other than what I have, Yosef. I have seen excess money get as much in the way of walking righteously as having too little money. The rich are distracted by luxury, and the poor by hunger. My only dream is to live somewhere in the middle of those extremes, so I am distracted from my duty as a daughter of the Covenant by neither hunger nor luxury.”
Yosef nodded and smiled. “You are a wise woman.”
“I’m happy to have you think so. But this is from the mashalim,” the Book of Proverbs. “The words of Agur. That aside, I do thank you for speaking to Levi for me,” Miriam said.
Dinah asked, “How will you have the time to make this journey? Don’t you have to complete that commission for the Temple?”
“The wool is spun. I’ll take it with me and do the actual weaving at Elisheva’s. I’ll set up a loom there. I can work as I keep her company. Knowing my kinswoman, she isn’t about to stop her own work, for any cause short of her own death. And as your father said, it is but few hours’ walk to Yerushalayim from Hebron. When the drapery is finished, I can walk it into the Temple and see it hung,” Miriam said.
“I shall miss you,” Yosef replied. “Just be back in time for our own wedding feast.”
I have no idea if you will still feel bound by our ketubah when you learn what Gavriel told me today, Miriam thought before she teased him, “You can’t have the nissuin without me.”
Yosef laughed. “That is very true, my dear.”
“At most, I’ll be gone just over three months. Levi’s boats make four trips each year up and down the coast to trade. Seraphina said she’d be returning to Natsarat on the next boat. That’s when I’ll return as well.”
Chapter Three
On the first day of the week, Miriam awakened before dawn. She came awake laughing, overwhelmed by joy. She had never felt so well in all her life; well, happy, and most of all loved. When she opened her eyes, the room was bathed in an intense, white, light. The light faded as rapidly as Gavriel, himself, had disappeared after he had spoken to her. But the sense of great well-being, strength, joy, and peace remained. She pulled her cloak more tightly around her as she lay on her mat upon the dirt floor of her small home.
In that first moment of darkness, after the light left, she wondered if she had gone blind. But gradually, her eyes adjusted.
She said her morning prayers in the now dark room, beginning with the modah ani, “Modah ani lefaneicha melech chai v'kayam shehechezarta bi nishmati bechemlah rabbah emunatecha”, I thank you, O living and eternal King, for, with compassion, You have returned my soul within me. Great is Your faithfulness!
Miriam had said that prayer the first thing every day of her life as long as she could remember. If the foretold child did actually come about, it would be the first prayer she would teach him.
She rose, washed and dressed in the first rays of dawn, while saying her usual blessings at each stage of the process.
Miriam heard the sounds of the men walking to the Beyt T’fila for shacharit, morning prayers. While she didn’t normally go out for morning prayers, she felt a powerful need to pray among others. So, she brought her veil up over her mouth and nose before she left the house.
Leaving the Beyt T’fila after morning prayers, Yosef greeted her, “You’re out early this morning, Miriam.”
“Shalom, Yosef, have you a moment to talk with me before you begin your work today?” she asked. “We will have months until the next time we can talk to one another.”
“Of course, my dear.”
“Walk with me, then, Husband.”
They walked in silence for a few minutes until they were just outside of town. She leaned against a stone wall enclosing a field and unveiled her face. There was no one else around and she needed him to be able to see her face, to read truthfulness in her expression. She didn’t want to tell him this very odd sounding story. But she had to speak of it to him. He deserved to know.
“What is it that sits so heavily on your mind and heart, Miriam?” he asked in clear concern.
She looked at him, forced a smile, and drew up her courage. This was going to be the hardes
t thing she ever had to tell anyone.
“The news I had about Elisheva, no person brought that news to me. It came from an angel of Avinu Malkeinu, from the mouth of the holy angel, Gavriel, himself. Avinu Malkeinu sent him to me with that news and far more amazing tidings.”
He looked at her for a long time without saying anything.
She could see the doubt in his eyes.
“Do you see angels often, Miriam, my dear?”
She could see his unease in the set of his shoulders and the furrow in his brow and hear the tension in his voice. It was as if he were wondering if he had espoused a crazy woman. She certainly couldn’t blame him for that. This story sounded insane, even when she had rehearsed it in her own mind in preparation for this discussion.
“No, I do not. This was the first time anything remotely like this has happened to me. Both my parents had the experience of the visitation of angels before I was born. And, I strongly suspect Zechariah may have seen such a heavenly messenger before he was struck dumb. Yet, I do not know that for certain,” Miriam said. “When Zechariah again talks, we will know for sure.”
He nodded. “I know the story of your parents.”
It was her turn to nod. “Many people have heard at least that I was born to elderly parents and they died when I was a child. Most people haven’t heard the rest of the story. Mother tried to keep that tale in the family. And that’s all for the best, as far as I am concerned.” She sighed, not quite knowing how to say the rest of what she had to say.
“You are deeply troubled,” Yosef observed.
“I am concerned about how you are going to react to the rest of what Gavriel told me.”
“You trust me enough to tell me?”
She bit her lip, nodded and sighed. “If I did not trust you, Yosef, my dear husband, I would not have agreed to be your wife...The angel said I am to have a son, whom I will name ‘Yehoshua’ and that this child will have the throne of David and that his kingdom will never end.”
Puzzlement passed over his face, replaced by a small satisfied smile. “Miriam! A son for us! How marvelous!”
“Listen for the rest of this, Yosef, my dear, before you say more. You must know the rest. Gavriel told me the child would be the Son of El Elyon,” the Most High God, “that the power of the Holy Spirit would overshadow me; the child would be conceived in spite of my being a virgin.”
He was silent for a long moment. “And you believe this impossibility?” he asked, utter disbelief in his tone.
She couldn’t blame him for that either. This wasn’t the normal way life worked. “If He can move upon the waters and bring forth life where there was no life, as he did at the beginning of this world, how would creating a single life be at all difficult for Him?”
He was silent for a moment, seemingly thinking about that. “Given that argument, the answer would be ‘not much’. But, this is not how He set up the world, Miriam.”
“I know how unusual this is. Believe me, I do. Miracles, however, do happen, and are known as miracles because they are out of the ordinary way of things.” She drew a deep breath, looking for courage to tell him the rest. “This morning, before dawn, I awoke to my house being filled with very bright light, light so bright and pure that it was beyond blinding. I awoke laughing, joy overflowing from my very soul. I can’t begin to describe it, Yosef. Deep peace, joy, a sense of wellness and love to such a degree I have never before felt. And even now, the peace and joy remain.”
His voice was tight as he asked, “And you ascribe this to what?”
“The Holy Spirit moving upon me.”
He sighed. “And the reason you are going to see Elisheva, the true reason?”
“If that is true about Elisheva, then what I was told about me and the child, this Yehoshua, is likely to be true as well. I have to know.”
“This is all entirely beyond belief. Things like this just don’t happen.”
“Women don’t give birth at ninety years old when their husbands are aged one hundred years, either, but Avraham had his long promised freeborn son from his long wedded wife, Sarah, at that age. Barren women don’t usually become with child, but Channah did and the child was the prophet Sh’mu’el. Avinu Malkeinu has a habit of doing things outside of the way we would expect them to be done, particularly when that involves the birth of extraordinary children who will be important to Yisra’el.”
“Extraordinary children, such as yourself?” he offered.
“I don’t know there is anything extraordinary about me,” she dismissed. “I’m pretty ordinary, when it comes down to it. I’m only a daughter of the Covenant.”
“You were born after both your parents had visions of angels foretelling your birth. Both of them were well along in years. They’d been married for many years, without children. Nothing extraordinary about you, do you really believe that about yourself? How many girls are reared in the shadow of the Temple, serving there, learning there, being married from there?” Yosef asked.
She shrugged. “Not many.”
“Miriam, I do not know what to say about this. When you go see Elisheva and she is not with child, come home as soon as you can safely do so.”
“And if she is with child?”
“We’ll deal with that when, if, it happens. I really don’t expect it to be a problem.”
“You don’t believe any of this, do you?”
“No. I do not. This is not the way things work.”
“I see.”
“If someone came to you with such a tale, would you believe her?” he demanded.
She sighed. “That would depend on how much I trusted the person who came to me. I am sorry you do not trust me as much as I had hoped you might, as much as I have a right for you to trust me, as your wife. Now, I must go. Seraphina will be leaving shortly. It is a long journey, even when taken largely by sea, instead of entirely overland.”
“Miriam,” he began. Then he stopped, clearly uneasy. “I don’t know what to say.”
She understood that. This entire situation had her not quite knowing what to believe or say. “Sometimes, it is better simply to say nothing, Yosef. I’ll return when I return. If I can, I’ll send word.”
He stood there, his hands clinched at his sides. “You cannot truly expect me to accept such a tale.”
She heard the pain in her voice when she spoke and was ashamed of the lack of self-control that showing her pain demonstrated, “I expect to have my word believed, no matter how unreasonable it appears on first hearing. My father was kinsman to your father, of the house of David. My mother was the daughter of a priest. I have never lied, will never lie to you, or to anyone else. It’s not part of my character to be dishonest about anything.”
He seemed to relax a bit. “No, I’ve never found it to be part of your character.”
“Then why are you implying you find me to be a liar?”
“You said nothing about this ‘angelic’ visitation during Shabbat dinner? Is that not a lie?”
“No, it’s not a lie. I simply didn’t deem it wise to speak of this before witnesses. If this is true, there are things that do not need to be publicly known. How do you suppose King Herod would feel about any child an angel foretold would have the throne of David? He would see the child as a grave threat to his authority. Threats to Herod do not remain free, or even alive, for very long.”
“You are seeing threats where none exist,” Yosef said.
“I disagree. All kings not put in place by Roma will be seen as mortal enemies of Caesar. Herod’s actions against his enemies are mild in comparison to how Roma treats those who stand against her. You know this! Do you imagine young Yehoshua would be safe if this prophesy about him became known when he was a child? Can you imagine that we, either of us, would be safe if this were known? No, there are some things it is better to keep quiet for the sake of safety.”
“You speak of that child as though he were real.”
“He is, and will be.”
“Miri
am...”
“No, Yosef, hear me. Nothing with Avinu Malkeinu is in any way impossible. If He can speak everything into being, as He did at the beginning of the world, He certainly can bring His Moshiach to the world in the way He chooses. It is not my place, or yours, to question Him.”
“Or, more likely, you could be using this story as a way of passing off a mamzer as my child,” he offered, his voice tight and angry. “That is something no righteous man would tolerate in the least.”
Mamzer! A bastard, cut off from his, or any of his children, grandchildren, great grandchildren, all through time, from marrying anyone except another of the mamzerim. And this status as possessing a ‘strange defect’ resulting from a supposed commission of adultery on my part. Could he really believe this of me? Doesn’t he know me better than that by now? Surely, he should.
She fought back the anger she felt building at this most untrue slur against her honor. But it wasn’t easy. Nor was she entirely successful. “You insult me almost beyond my ability to forgive, Husband!”
“I brought you here to Natsarat as a virgin bride, a moral, upright, young woman who would do me honor as a wife. And now you tell me that you are likely with child, a child I know, beyond all doubt, is not mine. You should consider yourself blessed beyond words I have not already called for you to be stoned!”
He looked at her for a long moment, obviously trying to bring himself under control. She refused to look away from him. She had done nothing shameful.
He sighed heavily, and spoke again. “Other men would have done so immediately upon receiving this news from you.”
“I have done nothing evil! I am the same person I was when Zechariah introduced us in Yerushalayim. You have no cause to seek to have me stoned. None in the least. Summon a midwife, quietly, to examine me to prove I remain betulah. I will submit to an examination, gladly. Or take me before the priests in Yerushalayim for the bitter waters. I will pass either ordeal as I am innocent of all evil.”