Mother's Eyes

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by Woods, Karen


  Already, she loved him, her Yehoshua, nearly beyond words. Already, she was frightened for him. Already, she wondered if she were truly capable of raising this child in the love and fear of Elohim.

  Elisheva spoke to her, “Come, Miriam, Zechariah likes to pray this time of the evening. I usually pray with him, reading the words aloud for him. Come join us, then we will have our dinner.”

  Chapter Five

  It hardly seemed as though she should have been with her family for nearly three months. Yet, the messenger from Seraphina had come yesterday saying the boat would be ready to transport them both up the coast and that Miriam should present herself at Ruth’s house by the third hour today for the journey home.

  “I hoped to be here to help you after your son was born,” Miriam told Elisheva.

  “No. You need to go home and talk to Yosef,” Elisheva said.

  “I’m scared, Elisheva. Yosef isn’t known for changing his mind, easily.”

  “Of course you are apprehensive. You’re a young woman with an amazing task before you. Elohe Tzeva’ot,” the God of Hosts, “has blessed you beyond all women. If you didn’t feel fear, I’d worry about you. Even though my own son has been long desired, prayed for, I am afraid of not being the mother he needs,” Elisheva replied. “Especially, in light of the prophecies my husband showed me during your stay with us. I can well imagine your trepidation. Have faith. The Holy One selected you for this work. You have long been special to Him. And He will protect both you and your son. I just wish I could walk with you to the place you go.”

  “Nonsense! Your ankles are far too swollen for you to even consider this walk! You will stay here and rest.”

  Elisheva nodded and sighed. “You are correct in that, Miriam. I shall be glad when he is born. I doubt you will be long in Natsarat before I am delivered of young Yoni, here.” She placed her hand on her stomach. “You may not even be to the sea before he is born. I feel him pressing upon me even now.”

  “If I had any other way of going home safely, I would stay with you now.”

  “I know. But you must make this journey back to Natsarat and you must resolve things with Yosef. If you open the Prophets to him the way Zechariah has opened them to you, he will understand,” Elisheva replied.

  “We both know there is no guarantee of that. But we can hope,” she said on a sigh. “Fortunately, the child is not yet obvious to all who look at me.”

  “Only to those who look in your eyes and see the radiance in you.”

  Miriam shook her head. She picked up her bundles, including the purse of money she had earned from both the woolen drapery she’d woven for the Temple and the table linens she had made and sold during her stay here.

  “Hide the money in your bundle. Do not make yourself a target for a cutpurse, or worse,” Elisheva replied.

  “Yes. You’re right about that. Thank you.”

  “Miriam, my dear, have faith in the Holy One. His mercies are fresh each morning. Travel safely. Shalom.”

  “Shalom, Elisheva. Avinu Malkeinu protect you and your son. I must go now.”

  Elisheva nodded. “If you need refuge, you can come back to us.”

  “Chances are if I need refuge, I won’t have the chance to come back to you,” Miriam said on a sigh. “I simply have to trust Avinu Malkeinu to be in control of this. There’s nothing else I can do.”

  “I wish I could keep you with us,” Elisheva replied.

  “And I wish I could stay. But I cannot. We both know that. Shalom, my dear. The Holy One bless and keep you all your days.”

  She picked up her bundle and left the house. It was only an hour’s walk to Ruth’s, Seraphina’s daughter’s, house.

  As always, Seraphina was only too happy to talk, as it proved, all the way back to Natsarat for days on end, sparing Miriam the necessity of doing more than making the odd sound of agreement now and then when the older woman paused for breath.

  After several days of travel, Miriam stiffly climbed down from the cart parked in front of Levi and Seraphina’s shop. The cart was heavily laden with a wide variety of items acquired during the buying trip.

  Miriam bid Seraphina “Shalom” and walked to her house. She touched the Mezuzah, the wooden case, holding a scroll of the Sh’ma—the passage of Torah which began, ‘Hear, O Yisra’el, the Lord your God, the Lord is one’—that was attached to the doorpost of the house, and kissed her fingers in reverence for the Holy One of Israel. When, she entered the front door Miriam discovered Shoshonah, Yehuda’s wife, and Shoshonah’s mother, Naomi, were inside, cleaning the empty house. All of Miriam’s furniture and possessions were gone from the place, as if she had never lived there.

  Naomi smiled. “Ah, you’ve returned to us, Miriam.”

  “Yes. Where are my things?”

  Naomi explained, “Yosef moved all your things into his house. Yehuda and Shoshonah will be living here, soon. They will have their nissuin on the first day of the week. It is good that you’ve returned in time for that celebration. We’ve missed you.”

  Miriam nodded. She tried not to smile as the weight of trepidation seemed to lift from her soul. She drew a deep breath and tried not to run ahead of herself. Yosef moving her things didn’t mean much. After all his son was about to be married and he’d originally built the house for Yehuda. She’d only been given the use of it. Everyone had known her tenancy here had been strictly temporary.

  “Yes, it is good to be home, again. I’ve missed everyone. But Elisheva needed me,” Miriam said.

  Shoshonah asked, “How is your kinswoman?”

  “She was quite uncomfortably large with child and certain she would soon be delivered when I left her.”

  Naomi shook her head, and spoke with awe in her voice, “At her age...After so many years of waiting. She must be beside herself with joy.”

  “Both she and Zechariah are extremely happy.”

  “As they should be. I’m only surprised you didn’t stay longer with them,” Naomi said.

  “Seraphina provided transportation. I was at the mercy of her schedule, not my own will. I had no other way of coming home, safely. So, I came when she was ready to come.”

  Naomi nodded. “Yes. I can see that.”

  “You will excuse me. I need to find Yosef.”

  “Of course.”

  Miriam walked out the back door and through the courtyard. Several women were in the courtyard preparing to cook dinner for their families.

  Devorah called to her. “You missed the marriage feast of Yosef’s daughters.”

  “I regret that.”

  “Is it true your kinswoman is with child in her old age?” Devorah asked.

  “She may have been delivered of the child by now,” Miriam said. “I’ve been travelling for several days.”

  “Yosef is in his workshop. I saw him go in there a few hours ago. The sound of his working has been steady,” Devorah said.

  “Thank you. Shalom, Devorah.”

  Miriam crossed the rest of the way to the workshop. She stood there at the doorway, watching Yosef’s strong hands pushing a plane though a piece of wood, taking off thin layers to make the board straight. Yosef’s brother, Halphai, was also in the shop, working. Yaacov, Yosef’s son, was working, along with Halphai’s sons, Yaacov and Yoses, carving bowls, the sort of work one gave an apprentice to teach them to use chisels properly. Two other men were in the shop, talking as men do about the state of the world as well as about the words and actions of other men.

  “I doubt I’ll ever grow tired of watching you work, Yosef,” Miriam said. “You have such skill with wood. It takes my breath away how you can transform pieces of dead trees into beautiful, useful, things.”

  He put down the plane and turned to look at her. “Then we are evenly matched, Wife. The way you can make flax into beautiful linens takes my breath away. Welcome home. I trust Elisheva was well.”

  Conscious of the other men in the shop, she said, “She was well, and very great with child, when I le
ft her.”

  He nodded and smiled at her.

  That smile touched her heart and made her hopeful about being home again.

  Yosef spoke to her. “So I heard. I had a most interesting conversation with Gavriel, that old friend of both your father’s and Zechariah’s, while you were away.”

  She was careful about what she said, because of the other men in the shop, although she felt an answering smile come to her face at the mention of the angel. If Yosef had been visited, and was this calm about it, then all was well. “Did you? You will have to tell me about it, soon. Zechariah told me Gavriel was in Yerushalayim during Yom Kippur and that they’d spoken then. Gavriel does seem to get about, considering his advanced age.”

  “Zechariah’s regained his speech, then?” Yosef asked, not quite suppressing the smile that twinkled in his eyes.

  “No. Not as of my leaving them, at any rate. Zechariah’s communicating these days with a stone tablet and chalk.”

  “Sorry to hear that,” Yosef said.

  “He’s been spending his time deeply studying the Prophets. He had some interesting insights which he shared with me and I’d like to share with you, when we have time to talk privately.”

  “Seems we both have much to talk about with the other,” Yosef said.

  “It would seem that way. And it is as it should be after a couple are reunited following a time apart...I found it interesting to see Shoshonah and her mother cleaning my now empty house.”

  “That’s because you will be coming under my roof tonight. We will have our nissuin this evening.”

  “There’s no time to prepare a marriage feast.”

  “All we need is to gather a minyan and say the sheva brakhos, drink some wine, and be alone together behind closed doors. That’s all that’s required by halakhah.”

  She felt her face grow warm. She answered him in a low, embarrassed sounding, voice, “No, it is not all that is required. But I came home fully prepared for this, having done what is necessary to observe taharat ha-mishpachah,” the laws of family purity, “before I left Hebron. And I have fasted today.”

  Yosef nodded and smiled. “As have I. Then all is in order.”

  “Not quite. You would deny your neighbors the chance to do the mitzvah of cheering the bride and groom?” she asked, her voice loaded with disbelief.

  He sighed. “I cannot afford to give another feast. I had to combine the marriage feasts of all three of my daughters to be able to afford to host any sort of feast for them. Even then, the price of the wine was much higher than I’d anticipated. I have only three small copper coins left in my purse. I can barely afford both the wood for the next table I am to build and to eat between now and when I am paid for my work.”

  “I understand. Everyone else will, too. But we must find a way of allowing for them to do their mitzvah.”

  He looked at her for a long moment. Then he nodded. “I will get the minyan together to witness the marriage. Can you be ready for nissuin within the hour, so that the men can leave from here to go to evening prayers?”

  “Nothing like giving me adequate time, Husband,” she said on a laugh.

  “If I gave you more time, you might decide you’d rather have a divorce from, rather than a marriage to, an old, poor, man,” he said, tightness in his voice. “And that would leave me a sad and lonely man, Miriam. Having you gone for these weeks has shown me just how empty my life would be without you in it. You bring joy and peace to me. I am happier when you are here, with me. I don’t want to live without your company.”

  Miriam smiled and tried not to cry the happy tears that she felt filling her eyes. “I’ll be ready for the ceremony whenever you say. But, I’ll need my things that are in your house.”

  “Go on in. There’s no one in the house. I put your things on a shelf in the east room. You should be able to find them easily enough.”

  A few minutes later, she was out of the house with her bundle of wedding clothes, and another item. “I’ll be with the women. Will you take care of the wine and the cup for the ceremony? I have my father’s tallit, here, for the canopy,” she said, handing him a linen wrapped bundle that contained her father’s prayer shawl. “I am assuming you can provide the poles?”

  He smiled. “Yes. I can and will.”

  “Very well. We’ll do this in front of your house?”

  “Yes.”

  “I’ll pull together some sort of celebration, just to give the neighbors an opportunity for that mitzvah,” Miriam said.

  Yosef laughed. “Do as you will, Miriam.”

  She went to Devorah and Hannah, knowing that they would help her. Both women listened attentively.

  Devorah sighed and shook her head. “What can that man be thinking? He knows you have to go to the mikveh to immerse yourself for observance of family purity and you must pray before you go to him. Both of those must be done after sunset.”

  “I immersed myself before I came home, and said the prayers, on the odd chance he would want to have the nissuin soon,” Miriam replied. “So, that’s not a problem.”

  Hannah smiled and shook her head. “I wouldn’t have thought Yosef to be so romantic...You are a lucky woman.”

  “Blessed beyond all measure, Hannah. So, can you help me? There isn’t the time or the money to be feasting the neighbors, but there should be some kind of merrymaking, music, dancing.”

  “Of course,” Hannah said. “My boys will play their instruments.”

  Devorah added, “My daughters will sing.”

  Hannah said, “Knowing my Eli, he’ll recite his poetry. Ahron will likely juggle for you. Others will go out of their way to join in the merrymaking. We’ll light torches out here for dancing. It is a mitzvah to gladden the bride and groom.”

  “Thank you. I have some money set aside. I can afford wine for everyone, at least enough for the neighbors all to have some, and I can pay for the oil for the torches to light the night. Hannah, can you send one of your boys to David, the winemaker, on this errand for me?”

  Hannah nodded. “Of course...Amir!”

  Miriam went into her purse and brought out a small silver coin to give to the boy.

  “Amir,” Miriam directed the boy. “Go purchase a cask of wine from David the winemaker. Tell him that it is for the nissuin of Yosef, the carpenter, and Miriam, this evening. And tell him there is no feast, as such, only the wine.”

  The boy looked at the coin. Then he looked at Miriam. “I can’t carry that much wine.”

  “Take the cart and the donkey, hurry!” his mother said. “And don’t lose that coin.”

  “I won’t,” the child said, drawing himself up to his full height. The child was clearly offended, in only the way a young boy growing into manhood can be offended that his mother would say something like that to him. “I go.” Then he immediately turned and walked quickly away.

  Miriam watched the boy go. “Thank you, Hannah.”

  “It’s our pleasure. We can bring out tables and set them up out here, each neighboring family having their own dinner, but eating together for your marriage celebration,” Hannah replied. “I’ll set up the torches.”

  “That’s a very good idea, Hannah,” Devorah replied, enthusiasm in her voice. “It’s the best we can do.”

  “Now, go ready yourself. Do you need assistance?” Hannah asked.

  “I can change into my wedding clothes without help,” Miriam said, not wanting anyone to see her pregnant body.

  “I’ll go draw some fresh water for you to wash up,” Hannah offered.

  “Thank you. I’ll be in my former house.”

  “There’s nothing in there, not even a place to sit,” Devorah said. “Come into my house. My daughters will guard the front door and I will guard the back, so you can have privacy to wash the travel dirt from you and change. There is plenty of water already in the house for washing. Yosef should have given you more time.”

  “If Yosef hadn’t asked for the nissuin tonight, I would have asked for it in
the next few days. I missed him terribly,” Miriam admitted. “Devorah, I will take advantage of your offer. Thank you so much.”

  “What are neighbors for?” Devorah dismissed with a smile. “Have you thought about your dinner? Since Yosef hasn’t given you time for putting together a feast what will you have for your dinner?”

  “When I went into the house to get my things, I saw he has fresh bread, cheese, smoked fish, brined olives, salt, oil, figs and dates. That’s more than some people will eat tonight. It will be enough. I have enough money saved to provide meat for our first few Shabbat dinners under the same roof. So, even if tonight’s dinner is less than a grand feast, I’ll make up for it tomorrow.”

  Hannah offered, “I can spare you a nice onion from my garden, for your dinner tonight.”

  “And I can give you some greens and radishes,” Devorah offered.

  “Thank you,” Miriam said. “You are both so kind to me.”

  “Go make yourself even lovelier,” Hannah dismissed with a smile. “Give Yosef a mental picture of you walking towards him today that he will remember for the rest of his life. Do you want to borrow my bangle bracelets or my finger cymbals?”

  “I have my mother’s cymbals and bracelets,” Miriam said. “It will do.”

  Hannah smiled. “Some kohl to line your eyes?”

  “The kohl would only run and make a mess when I cried happy tears,” Miriam dismissed. “I’ll go to him as I am, without artifice. Now, I need to get ready. But before I go, here’s the money to pay for the oil for the torches.”

  Hannah took the silver coin from her and said, “I will speak to Yosef, telling him of the plans, and I shall prepare your table.”

  Chapter Six

  Twenty-five minutes later, Miriam had washed away the dirt of travel from her body and had dressed in her bridal clothes. Next to her skin was a new fine linen tunic, woven without a sewn seam. That was covered by her heavily embroidered outer robe, decorated with silver and gold and scarlet threads. Her veil was fine sun bleached linen shot through with scarlet, silver, and gold threads to match the embroidery on the outer robe.

 

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