Mother's Eyes

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by Woods, Karen


  Her son ate the fish in the sight of everyone. Then He taught them from the prophecies how everything that had happened had been foretold.

  Even while He taught, Miriam gave way to wonder and rejoicing. Through her son, all the world would come to know Avinu Malkeinu. It was truly a marvelous time to be alive.

  Then she heard her son say, “If you forgive anyone’s sins, they are forgiven. If you retain the sins of any, they are retained.”

  Just as suddenly as He had come, He was no longer with them.

  She looked around the room to see most people sitting with stunned looks on their faces.

  “Now, do you believe?” Miriam asked them.

  While the people in the room believed, when the men spoke to Teom the next day, he told them that he would not believe unless he placed his hands in the Teacher’s wounds.

  A week later, everyone, including Teom, was once more gathered in the upper room, again, as their custom, with the door barred, for safety’s sake.

  The week had been a hard one. Rumors had gone around town that the disciples of Yehoshua of Natsarat had stolen his body in order to support the story that he had risen from the dead. Some believed that, some didn’t. There remained a lot of quiet talk in the markets. When possible, each of them had spoken quietly of prophecy and reaffirming that they had seen and spoken to the risen Yehoshua. Yet, they were all careful to stay in crowds, not to make themselves vulnerable, to stay together behind barred doors at night.

  Now, it had been a week since her son had risen from the dead. In all that time, she hadn’t seen Him, other than that one time. And yet, He seemed closer to her than her own breath.

  As it had been a week before, she was pouring drink for those at table when her son appeared, in spite of the barred door.

  The risen Yehoshua wished them peace. He spoke to Teom, holding up his hands. “Come, Teom. Put your fingers here. See my hands. Reach out your hand and put it in my side. Stop doubting and believe.”

  Miriam watched as Teom rose to his feet and crossed over to Yehoshua. She saw Teom touch each of her son’s hands.

  Then Teom fell to his knees and touched his face to the floor at Yehoshua’s feet. “My Lord and My God!” Teom said in an awed voice.

  “Because you have seen, you believe. Blessed are those who have not seen, and believe,” her son said.

  Late into that night, Miriam lay on her mat, mulling over all the happenings of her son’s life. For so long, she’d kept most of this to herself, pondering it in the night, reflecting on it during the day to day, moment by moment, living out of her son’s life. It had only been since Yosef’s death that she had begun to share some of the stories with others, primarily family and those closest to her son. But now, the whole story would be told to everyone. As He would bring the whole world to the feet of Avinu Malkeinu, would bring the Goyim into relationship with their Father, the entire story of His life, death, and resurrection, of how his life had fulfilled the prophecies, would have to be told. Otherwise, none of this would make sense. All that came before now was context for what would follow.

  That thought rather took her breath away. All her life, she had lived according to halakhah, the way one walks. Yet, her son taught that He was the way, the truth, and the life, and that no one could come to the Father except by Him. He’d taught that the greatest of the law was to love Avinu Malkeinu with all one’s heart, one’s soul, one’s mind, and one’s strength. That was hardly a new teaching. Moshe had taught this, originally. Further, her son taught that loving one’s neighbor as oneself was the second important part of the law. All else was commentary.

  All of this swirled through her mind as she lay in the semidarkness of the room. All around her the sound of quiet breathing, the snores of several, told her that everyone else was asleep. She yawned and closed her eyes. Morning would come far too early. Great periods of history, great events, were made up of moments in lives and the touch of Avinu Malkeinu.

  She whispered a prayer, “Our Father, Our King, You called me to this work. I once found favor in your sight. I have tried to live my life so to stay within Your favor. Keep me ever in Your ways. Be that lamp onto my feet, that guide to my path. I wish for nothing except to serve You, as Your handmaiden. Strengthen me for this continuing work. Let me never be separated from You and our son.”

  Then she prayed her night prayers, as she had every night of her life, commending her soul into the hands of God.

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  The next few weeks were full of events.

  News came that Yehuda bar Simon of Kerioth had gone out of the city, hung himself on, or near, the potter’s field. There were several other tales about him, one of which was that Yehuda had fallen headfirst into a field and burst open. Personally, she didn’t know what to believe about that. All she knew was that all the stories were in agreement that Yehuda bar Simon was dead and by his own hand.

  There was talk of beginning to use the potter’s field as a cemetary for ha goyim, the gentiles, who might die in Yerushalayim. Some people said that was because the field was already defiled because of a suicide happening there. Other people were far more sanquine about it, saying that the best clay for pottery had already been taken from the field and it might as well be used for other purposes and about the only thing the land was actually good for was burying people in it.

  Miriam had spent much of her time in the Temple, as had many of her son’s closest associates. She had talked with several of the priests she had known during her youth. Some of those men had come to believe in her son.

  In addition, her son had appeared to groups of His followers in various places. Some of those appearances, she had been present for, others she had not. All of the stories of her son’s appearance filled her with awe.

  She loved the story Simon Cephas had told her about some of the men, himself included, who had needed money to support their families, so they’d gone fishing in the Sea of Galilee. The men had been out all night, without any success. Early that morning, a man on the shore had called to them, “Friends, have you any fish?” They’d called back, “No!” The man on the told them to move their net to the right side of the boat. They did. Soon, their net was full of fish, one hundred fifty-three big fish, so full that it couldn’t be hauled into the boat. That was when they recognized the man on the shore as her son. By the time they got to shore, there was a coal fire with fish and bread on it and Yehoshua offered them breakfast.

  One small detail about that story gave her grounds for reflection. She doubted the men had even noted the importance of the point. Sometimes, they could be rather slow to see what was right before them. There had been one hundred fifty-three fish in the net. One hundred and fifty-three was the number she had always been taught were the number of the Goyim of the earth. Her son had promised, when they started to follow him, that He’d make them fishers of men. While Yehoshua had ceased to speak to them in parables, His actions still were so full of meaning that they couldn’t be readily understood, except through reflection.

  There were so many stories told of encounters with her risen son that just thinking about those various tales made her smile. Many times, He’d taught them plainly from the prophecies, explaining why things had unfolded as they had. The time for parables had passed. He’d told them that they were to remain in Yerushalayim until the Holy Spirit came to them. He’d told them so many things.

  On the fortieth day after the resurrection of her son, a group of his followers left the city for the Mount of Olives, where Yehoshua had told them to meet Him. The women of the company had packed baskets full of bread, cheese, smoked fish, various fruits and greens, and several wineskins, for their noon meal.

  After a joyful meal together, Yehoshua spoke to the group. “Do not leave Yerushalayim. But wait here for the gift the Father has promised, which you have heard me speak about. For John baptized in water, but in a few days you will be baptized in the Holy Spirit.”

  Miriam heard Andreas ask, �
�Master, will you now restore the kingdom to Yisra’el?”

  Her son sighed. “It is not for any of you to know the day or hour the Father has set by his own authority. You shall receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you. You shall be my witnesses in Yerushalayim, in all Yudea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth. All authority in Heaven and on Earth has been given to Me. Go, therefore, make disciples of all men, baptizing them in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Teach them to obey everything that I have commanded you. I shall be with you always, even to the end of the age.”

  Then He stood, raised his hands to bless them and was taken up into the sky. Miriam dropped to her knees while watching her son rise up into the clouds. Her eyes didn’t leave Him for as long as she could see Him. She knew, just knew, that this would be the last time she would see Him until her time to die came.

  Suddenly, men dressed in clothing so white the garments practically glowed were there and said, “Men of Galilee, why do you stand here, looking into the sky? Yehoshua, who was taken from you into heaven, will return in the same way.” And then, those men, those angels, vanished.

  Walking back to Yerushalayim, Miriam only half listened to the chatter surrounding her. Her mind was too full of her son’s leaving them and of the way He had gone from them.

  Forty days. So many forty days in his life. Forty days from birth until she made her thanksgiving after childbirth and redeemed him in the Temple. Forty days that he’d spent fasting in the desert after his encounter with Yochanan at the Yardin River. And now, forty days from his resurrection to today, to his ascension into heaven.

  Forty. So many periods of forties in the history of her people. Forty was the number of days of the rain in Noah’s time. Forty was the number of years that Moses lived in Pharoah’s house. Moses spent three separate periods of forty days on Mount Sinai. Her people spent forty years wandering in the Sinai desert. Forty days was the period the spies Yoshua sent had explored the land. Abdon, one of the judges of Yisra’el, had forty sons. Eli judged Yisra’el for forty years. Several kings of Yisra’el ruled for forty years each; Saul, David, Solomon, and Yehoash. Goliath taunted Saul’s army for forty days, before David killed him. Nineveh had been given forty days to repent. Forty cubits was one of the measurements of the Holy of Holies in Solomon’s Temple, as she recalled. Ezekiel bore the inquity of the house of Yudah for forty days. And the significance of the number went on and on.

  Forty was the number of completeness. And now her son had ascended into heaven at the end of forty days from His resurrection. It was all too wonderful for words.

  Several days following her son’s leaving them, most of the believers in Yerushalayim were gathered, some one hundred and twenty people. The purpose of the gathering was to choose another man to stand, as a witness of the resurrection, in the place of Yehuda bar Simon.

  Simon Cephas stood and addressed the crowd, “My brethren, Yehuda bar Simon had been one of us and shared in our ministry, yet he guided those who arrested Yehoshua. The Holy Spirit spoke long ago through David about him. In the mezmor, it is written, ‘May his place be deserted; let there be no one to dwell in it’ and ‘May another take his place of leadership.’ So, it’s necessary to choose one of the men who have been with us from the beginning, who have been with us the whole time that Yehoshua was living among us, from the time of Yochanan’s baptism to the time that Yehoshua was taken up from us. One of these men must become a witness with us of the resurrection.”

  The eleven had taken council among themselves earlier that day. From that prayerful discussion, they had decided that either Yosef, who was called Barsabbas, who was also called Justus, or Matthias who they would present to the larger group as candidates.

  So, Yochanan bar Zebedee presented the names of both men to the gathering of believers. Each of the two men was asked if he were willing to serve. Each of them agreed that they would serve to the best of their ability, if selected.

  Miriam remembered the mashal, the proverb, that said, “The lot is cast into the lap but every decision is from Adonai.”

  The decision would be made by rolling the single six sided wooden die Halphai had carved for this purpose. Three sides of the die marked with alef the first letter of the Hebrew alphabet, three sides marked with bet the second letter of the Hebrew alphabet. That much had already been planned. The selection of Yosef, called Justus, would be represented by the alef appearing on the top face of the die; Matthias by the bet.

  Yaacov, the son of Yosef, stood and prayed, “Adonai, you know the hearts of all. Show to us which of these men you have chosen to take over this apostolic ministry which Yehuda has left in order to go where he belongs.”

  Then, with Yosef, called Justus, standing on one side of the table and Matthias on the other side, Philip rolled the die. When the cube came to rest, a bet was shown.

  Yosef, called Justus, walked around the table and said to Matthias, “Adonai has chosen you, my brother. May He give you strength and courage.”

  Matthias replied, “May He give us all strength and courage in these days, my brother.”

  The eleven gathered around Matthias and laid hands on him and prayed over him, setting him apart for service. Then each of them welcomed Matthias as a member of the Twelve with a kiss of peace.

  Mariam watched all of this intently. It was only a matter of a few days now until the feast of weeks, Shavu’ot. The city would be filled with pilgrims coming for the celebration of the giving of the Torah. Her son had promised that the Holy Spirit would come upon them all, giving power to become his witnesses to the Goyim. A few days from now, during Shavu’ot, would be the perfect time for that.

  Then again, it wasn’t up to her to tell her son or his Father when to do anything.

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Shavu’ot had come. The women had made festive wreaths and ropes of greenery to decorate the rooms, which they had hung last night. Those farmers who grew wheat and barley anywhere near Yerushalayim would be bringing some of that into the Temple as this was the harvest festival.

  She’d risen well before dawn to get a start on the day. After mixing and forming a dozen extra large braided loaves of leavened wheaten bread made from this year’s harvest, honey sweetened loaves rich with both melted butter and sour cream, she’d taken those to the baker’s oven just before dawn. This harvest festival was the only time that dairy products were used in baking breads. While other festivals were times of rich feasting on meat, if one could afford the expense, this celebration was a time of reflecting on this promised land as overflowing with milk and honey. Part of that reflection was having dairy meals.

  She was filled with a sense of anticipation as she walked back from the baker’s shortly after dawn. She kept thinking that today was the perfect day for the Holy Spirit to come upon them. Yet, she schooled herself to be patient, to wait, as things would come according to the plan of Our Father, Our King.

  All of the Twelve had stayed in that upper room with the women who had followed Yehoshua and some of the relatives. Sooner or later, she would have to return to Natsarat and deal with her property there, as she would never live there again. No, once everything settled, she would live with Yochanan bar Zebedee.

  After morning prayers and breakfast, while the men were talking among themselves and the women finishing the clearing away from the meal, there came the sound of a violent windstorm. Miriam saw the fear on many faces.

  “This is the Holy Spirit coming,” she told them. “It must be.”

  Even as she spoke, bright light, like tongues of fire descended on each of them. This feeling of overwhelming love, peace, and joy was familiar to her. She’d felt it before on the morning her son was conceived.

  All around the room, she heard each person in the room begin to speak in a different language. Miriam heard herself speak in a language she did not recognize and yet she understood everything that she and everyone else said. No one seemed to want to stop talking. Each of them said virtually the
same thing, telling the story of the great work that Our Father, Our King, had done in the life, death, and resurrection of her son.

  Soon, they heard an agitated crowd gathered just outside the house.

  The Twelve went out to meet the crowd. Miriam and the women stood there at the door, looking on. There were, judging by dress, men from Parthia, Medes, Elamite, Mesopotamia, Judea, Cappadocia, Pontus, Asia, Phygia, Pamphylia, Egypt, Libya, Roma, Crete, and Arabia.

  A man from the crowd, a man dressed in the manner of an Arab, said, “Aren’t you all Galileans? How then are we hearing, each of us, in our native languages? We have heard you declaring the wonders of God in our own languages!”

  Another man, one dressed in the style of an Egyptian, asked, “What does this mean?”

  Still another man in the crowd, this one dressed as a Cretean, offered, “They are drunk on new wine.”

  Several other men laughed, clearly agreeing with that.

  Simon Cephas addressed the crowd, “Men of Yudea, and all who you live in Yerushalayim, let this be known to you and pay attention to my words. These men are not drunk. It is but the third hour of the day.” He went on to quote Yoel, the prophet, reminding them of the prophecy about the Holy Spirit being poured forth and great wonders in the sky, the darkness at noon on the day of Yehoshua’s crucifixion, the blood moon that night. He continued, “Men of Yisra’el, listen to these words: Yehoshua of Natsarat, a man approved by El Ele Yisra’el among you by mighty works, wonders, and signs, that Elohim did through Him among you, you know this. This one, by the determined counsel and foreknowledge of Elohim being given, having taken by lawless hands, having crucified…You did slay Him. Elohim raised Him up, having loosened the bonds of death, because it was not possible for Him to be held by it.” Then he quoted David twice and argued from the passages that these were prophecies about Yehoshua and that Miriam’s son was the Lord, the Messiah.

 

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