Mother's Eyes

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by Woods, Karen


  She paused, then asked, “Pray with me?”

  Everyone in the room stood and lifted their hands in prayer.

  Miriam led them, “Avinu, we bless you for the life and witness of Stephanos. Bring to repentance those who took his life. Let us find in ourselves forgiveness and love for those who caused his death. Keep us from hardness of heart. Strengthen us for the work you have given us to do. Comfort us in our sorrow that Stephanos has been taken from us. But let us find joy in the knowledge that he is now standing before you, joining in the chorus of the heavenly host who forever sing your praise. Protect Gamaliel and Nicodemus as they seek to bury our brother’s body, to protect it for the day it shall be reunited with his soul in the resurrection. All of this we ask in the name of Yehoshua, our Lord.”

  Everyone said, “Amein.”

  Miriam added, “Holy Stephanos, pray for us.”

  There was a ripple of surprise run through the room. After a moment’s hesitation, everyone said, “Amein”

  Miriam led them in the chanting of the mizmor, the psalm, they normally used in funeral processions.

  After they finished praying the psalm, there was a time of silence.

  “Gamaliel, don’t leave without taking a shroud with you for Stephanos,” Shlomit urged. “Miriam has, on the shelf, several shrouds she has woven.”

  “A craftswoman is worthy of being paid for her labors. I will buy the shroud,” Nicodemus offered.

  “No, it’s the last thing I can do for him. And take the myrrh that was prepared for Yehoshua, and which was not used because He rose,” Miriam urged. “I can think of no better use for it. I’m glad we kept it.”

  Nicodemus nodded. “I’ll send a servant for those things tomorrow afternoon. Neither of us should be seen walking through the streets carrying such objects.”

  Miriam sighed. “You are right, of course.”

  “Then, as our business is concluded, we should go,” Gamaliel replied as he put on his cloak and pulled the hood up so that his face was not easily seen. Nicodemus did the same. “Shalom,” he bid them. And both of them quickly departed.

  “I wish they didn’t have to do that,” Miriam said. “It’s not good for them to have to be so secretive.”

  “They couldn’t function as effectively in the Sanhedrin if their belonging to the community of believers was generally known,” Yochanan replied.

  “But just how effective are they?” Miriam asked, her voice quiet.

  “Emma Miriam,” Yochanan said on a sigh. “We don’t know how effective any of us are.”

  “This is true,” she replied. “I have weaving to do. If you will excuse me.”

  Miriam sat at her loom, working quickly, letting the rhythm of the work be her prayer. The warp, the lengthwise fibers, each strand stood for her son’s name, and the woof, the widthwise fibers, stood for the word ‘mercy’. So, each throw of her shuttle asked her son for mercy on the world.

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  Saul of Tarsus had become a problem for the community. Many believers had been arrested by him andtaken bound before the Sanhedrin. All those taken had been stoned to death after having been found guilty of blasphemy after confessing their faith in Yehoshua.

  Miriam continued to regularly go into the Temple to worship and to the groups that met in people’s homes to pray and to break bread as her son had commanded them to do. In spite of the justifiable concern she had for her own safety, she needed to set an example for the community to go about their lives, trusting in Elohim. Others followed her example, continuing to show the love of Elohim to all in their words and actions. Yochanan taught daily in the Temple, and drew a large crowd, without being confronted. Those who asked for healing were prayed for and miracles of healing were common. The needs of the poor were being met. And those who had gone out into the world from Yerushalayim had sent reports of great success in their making disciples in the places they’d gone.

  Miriam was in the Temple one day when she saw Saul and the High Priest talking. She stood just close enough to hear Saul speak.

  He said, “Given the strong progress we’ve made in annilhilating that loathsome Way heresy here in Yerushalayim, I’d like your permission to go to Damascus and root out the followers of the Way in that place, to arrest them, men and women, and bring them bound back to Yerushalayim for trial.”

  “I’ll have the warrant ready to allow you to do so later today,” the High Priest said.

  She found herself praying silently for Saul, that he would turn from his evil ways, that he would see the truth of the Way and would embrace it. With that man’s zeal, he would be an exceptionally fine advocate for the truth. And yet, she wondered if the believers would ever find the grace to forgive this man for the pain he had caused them. Then she prayed for the community that they could grow in the ability to love and forgive all injuries done to them.

  It was a month later that word came in a letter to Miriam from Damascus with the news that Saul of Tarsus had lost his sight after having a vision of Yehoshua. One of the brothers in Damascus, a man named Ananias, went to Saul and prayed for his healing from the blindness. Then Saul, his vision restored, was baptized. Following his baptism, Saul began to preach with zeal about Yehoshua, proclaiming the truth of the Way.

  “I don’t believe this,” Shlomit said as they discussed the news of Saul’s conversion over dinner. “It has to be a trick. He couldn’t identify the entire community, so he’s decided to pretend to be one of us in order to turn us all in. I don’t trust him in the least.”

  Miriam shook her head, dismissing that. “My son came to call sinners to repentance. Is there any doubt that Saul has sinned against us?”

  “That’s one thing we cannot doubt, Emma Miriam,” Yochanan replied. “The man turned against his own kinsman, Stephanos, willing condoning that murder.”

  “My son told us that families would turn on each other.”

  “A man who could do that, I’d put no treachery past him,” Shlomit replied. “I don’t know that I could ever trust him.”

  “Trust him? No. Not yet. He hasn’t given any evidence of being trustworthy. But, I am willing to trust that this repentance of Saul may be the work of my son. I’ve been praying for this for some time, now, that my son would turn the heart of Saul, would bring that man to repentance, and would come to use the man’s great gift of zeal for good instead of evil,” Miriam said. “I am willing to accept this as an answer to my prayers.”

  “I still don’t trust him, not as far as I could throw him,” Shlomit replied.

  “There is much rejoicing in heaven when one who was lost is found. As Saul has now been baptized, we should join the angels in rejoicing at Saul’s stepping onto the path of salvation,” Miriam said. “And we can pray that his conversion is genuine and that he continues to walk in the Way for as long as he lives.”

  “Amein,” Yochanan replied. “If it’s a true conversion. I don’t know that I believe it to be true. It would take something of a miracle to change that man’s heart from hating Yehoshua to embracing Him as Master.”

  “Fortunately, we seem to be in the business of miracles,” Miriam said, smiling.

  Yochanan nodded. “That we do. We can only pray it’s true, that he has genuinely repented.”

  It was a matter less than a week after this letter arrived that Saul of Tarsus returned to Yerushalayim. The man approached the Twelve, but they wouldn’t talk to him, out of fear. Shlomit’s attitude of mistrust was widespread.

  Barnabas, one of the Seventy, a native of Cyprus who had sold most of his lands and given the proceeds to the community in Yerushalayim for the relief of the poor, was an old friend of Saul’s. Barnabas and Saul had both been students of Gamaliel’s. Barnabas brought Saul to the Twelve and told them about Saul’s conversion. The Twelve decided for themselves, after talking to Saul, that Saul’s conversion seemed genuine.

  It wasn’t long after that meeting that Saul enraged a group of Greek speakers to the point that the group sought
to kill Saul. Needing to protect Saul from being murdered, he was taken from Yerushalayim to Caesaria and then sent on to his home city, to Tarsus.

  Many more of the men left Yerushalayim to go out into the mission field. Yaacov, the Just, stayed behind to tend to the needs of the community in Yerushalayim, as the episcopos, the overseer, the bishop of Yerushalayim. Yochanan and Yaacov, the sons of Zebedee, remained behind to help him in this work. Simon Cephas remained as well, for now. Yet, he soon would be going out into the world.

  This became a time of great peace for the community. The persecutions stopped and many more believers were added day by day to the ranks of the followers of the Way.

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  Day after day passed into weeks, weeks passed into months, months into seasons, seasons into years. Babies were born, children grew in adulthood, young people married, young people aged, and old people died. Life had a way of going on. Miriam continued, day by day, living in the joy of seeing the progress of bringing the whole world into relationship with Elohim.

  The community of believers had grown both here and in other places. Instead of being called “The Way”, the followers of her son now called themselves “Christians”, a name that had once been hurled at them as an insult in Antioch. Instead of thinking of themselves as ‘community’ they had adopted the Greek ‘ekklesia’, a group called out, summoned, by an authority. In this case, the authority was her son whose kingdom was not of this world. And His ekklesia lived in, but were not of, the world.

  She spent some time each day at the tomb her son had once occupied, praying for the advance of the work of making disciples of all people everywhere. On the way out to the tomb, she occasionally stopped by at her parents’ tomb to pray for them. She regularly was in the Temple, praying and listening to Yochanan and Yaacov teach. She attended the worship services for the breaking of bread which her son had commanded. She received many kind and curious letters from people she did not know, usually asking to come to see her for the purpose of talking about her son. She spent considerable time receiving those who came to her, often talking to them while she worked on her spinning or weaving. Often, they would have to speak in Latin or Greek, as neither of them spoke the other’s mother tongue. Miriam was glad she had always been good with languages.

  The times had become more challenging than usual. A severe drought had come upon them. There was little food to be had that wasn’t brought in from other places at relatively high prices. Believers in other parts of the world sent money to Yerushalayim for the relief of the believers in the city. Claudius Caesar had expelled all of the children of Yisra’el from Roma, indeed from all of Italia, because of the violent controversies and civil unrest that had arisen between the believers in her son and those who didn’t believe in Him. He had expelled the children of Yisra’el, but the believers among the Goyim had remained behind in Roma. Many of those believers among the children of Yisra’el had gone out into the larger world and had become missionaries, themselves, to both the children of Yisra’el and to the Goyim.

  Saul, who now called himself Paul, and Barnabas were busy working among all the people they encountered, without respect to their nationalities. In this, they were no different from the other missionaries who had gone out into the world to spread the truth taught by her son.

  That work among the Goyim had upset many of the converts from among the parushim living in Yerushalayim. Particularly what caused the parushim consternation was that those of the Goyim were simply being baptized, and not being made to embrace halakhah before being baptized. Their argument from the books of Moshe was that El Ele Yisra’el had established circumcision as an everlasting mark of being one of the holy people of Elohim, and that none could be part of the community of the Way without first being a member of that holy people, the children of Yisra’el. Indeed, they had very strong scriptural basis for their position.

  So, some of these very upset people had sent men to the converts in several places telling them that they couldn’t possibly be part of the people of Elohim unless they became circumcised and lived according to the fullness of halakhah. Naturally, this led to much confusion and bitter controversy.

  Yaacov, her stepson, as bishop of Yerushalayim, sent word that all of the leadership of the ekklesia should gather together in Yerushalayim to take counsel and decide this matter of what was proper for the Goyim. They held that meeting in the upper room of the home of Adlai’s son, the room where they had been when the Holy Spirit with tongues of flame had come upon them all.

  Miriam was there, sitting, listening.

  The members of the parushim arose first. Their spokesman made an eloquent case for their position that the converts among the Goyim must be circumcised and keep the fullness of halakhah in order to be numbered among the people of Elohim. Their arguments were from the scriptures and tradition and were persuasive. But then again, the parushim were well used to arguing fine points of halakhah.

  Simon Cephas arose to speak after the parushim had made their case. “Brothers, you know that some time ago Elohim made a choice that the Goyim might hear the message of the Good News and that they might believe. Elohim, who knows the heart of all, showed them that He accepted them by giving them the Holy Spirit ust as He did to us. He did not make a distinction between them and us, in that He purified their hearts by faith. Now, then, why do you attempt to test Elohim by placing on the necks of the Goyim a yoke that neither we nor our ancestors have been able to carry? No! We believe it is through the grace of Elohim that we are saved, just as they are.”

  Barnabas and Paul both arose and spoke at length about their work among the Goyim, about the miracles that Elohim had worked there among the Goyim. Miriam had read much of this in letters and heard some of it from the mouths of those who came to visit her. But it was fascinating to hear it in person from Paul and Barnabas. The accounts of miracles, of healings, of all manner of extraordinary events, seemed so convincing of the rightness of their position that since Elohim had done great things to and through the Goyim who had converted that it was clear that Elohim was happy with their conversions, as they were.

  After Barnabas and Paul sat, there was a reflective silence as everyone was obviously processing those things that they had heard. That silence was only broken by Yaacov standing and beginning to speak. “My brothers, listen to me, Simon Cephas has described for us how Elohim first intervened to choose a people for his name from among the Goyim. The words of the prophets are in agreement with this, as Amos wrote, ‘After this I will return and rebuild David’s fallen tent. Its ruins I will rebuild and I will restore it, that the rest of mankind may seek Adonai, even the Goyim who bear my name, says Adonai, who does these things’. These things were known from long ago. It is my judgment, therefore, that we should not make it difficult for the Goyim who are turning towards Elohim. Instead, we should write to them, telling them to abstain from food polluted by idols, from sexual immorality, from the meat of strangled animals and from blood. The law of Moshe has been preached in every city from the earliest of times and is read in the Beyt T’fila on every Shabbat.”

  Miriam could see the parushim were not happy. Some of them would have a very hard time living with this. She had to wonder what impact this would have for the believers among the children of Yisra’el. Would faith in her son become common among the Goyim and rare among their own people? As of this moment, there were officially two ways of living the life of a believer, one following halakhah, the other far less disciplined. Would this make it difficult for believers around the world to be one people, if they had such radically different lifestyles? Would it lead believers who came from within the children of Yisra’el to abandon living according to halakhah, to live as Goyim?

  She fully understood the concerns of the parushim. As hard as it was to live as a child of the Covenant, there was the consolation of being a member of the chosen people of Elohim. Once a person got used to the idea that he was privileged by birth to be a member of the c
hosen, it was hard to accustom oneself to the idea that someone not either born to, or come to by process of ritual conversion and acceptance of, halakhah could share in that state of being part of a holy people.

  Yet, this was what her son had tried to teach them all along, that the truly important thing was to love Elohim with all of one’s heart, mind, soul, and strength and to love one’s neighbor as oneself. This is what He had meant when He had taught them that all besides this was commentary, that the entire law consisted in those two commandments. This is truly what Elohim had always intended from the time of creation, that all the people the whole world should be His people. It was only through the sin of Adam and Cheva that the easy fellowship between mankind and Elohim was destroyed. Elohim eventually chose a people to be His witness to the world. He chose a people who would prepare the world for the coming of Elohim enfleshed to live among us, choosing a people from whom He could come into the world, as a man, in order to restore the world into fellowship with Himself.

  This ruling about the Goyim was fair. The Goyim converts already lived in a society that had courts of justice. They were already aware of the necessity not to blaspheme. The rest of this was just a reminder that they were to live according to the covenant Elohim made with Noach. This list of requirements Yaacov had laid out would keep the new converts away from the pagan temples, the sacrifices, and the prostitution that she’d heard went on in the worship of some of the pagan goddesses.

  But she knew this decision would not sit easily on some shoulders. She only prayed that it wouldn’t cause anyone to stray from the path of salvation.

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

 

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