Taste

by Claire Farrell

  Everyone moved at once, on edge from the tension. Phoenix was paler than usual, sickened in some way. I hoped what Lucia had done wasn’t too much for him. Her glimpses often overwhelmed me, so I could only imagine how Phoenix felt.

  He let us half-carry, half-drag him into my house and sit him at my kitchen table. He laid his head in his hands, his expression distraught. Lucia sat close to him, but not touching. Lorcan kept well away, and I hugged him briefly, feeling his panic. The last time they had met a parent for the first time, she died soon afterward.

  I made tea as people began to bring in the food from Fionnuala’s kitchen. Some of it was extravagant, but there was plenty of decent meat, something we needed a lot of.

  “Divide it between the houses,” I told them. “Make sure everyone has equal share of basics and luxuries.”

  Phoenix lifted his head to look at me.

  “Thanks for the stuff,” I said, embarrassed without really knowing why.

  His eyes glazed over. “What did they do to me? What magic is this?”

  I sat down. The explanation was obviously going to take a while. “They showed you their own memories. Not their fault you forgot. What exactly did you see?”

  “Me. Me with children. A wife. A normal family. Like humans. I was acting like a human. I saw myself. Saw the happiness on my face. I’m so confused. I don’t remember it. But they showed me living it. This is impossible!”

  “I know it seems odd that you wouldn’t remember your own children, but—”

  He shook his head vehemently. “It’s more than that. I’m one of the oldest bloodlines. I can’t be with a human. I was promised at birth. My marriage will someday cement two strong families. There’s no way that I could—”

  I was shocked. “You mean an arranged marriage?”

  “I suppose you could call it that. I’m betrothed to a member of the oldest fae family in England. I would remember turning my back on everything that gives my family name honour and respect.”

  “Is it possible that somebody cloaked your memories somehow? Made you push your family into a space in your mind where you couldn’t find them again? Is it in any way possible?”

  “It’s possible. Anything is possible. But it’s unlikely. Someone would need my say so to do that. They couldn’t force it on me.”

  I sat back in the chair, feeling as though he had bitch-slapped all of us.

  Lorcan looked furious. “You wanted to forget us? You wanted this? Did you get tired of playing with humans? Wanted to get back to your pure-blooded fiancée?” He sounded so disgusted that I felt another crack in my heart.

  “There has to be an explanation,” I said hurriedly. “Lorcan, there has to be. As far as I know, he’s a decent person. Now and back then. He might not remember, but he set up the sanctuary so you two and your mother would have a safe place to stay. What happened next might not have been his fault.”

  “Why would a decent person want to forget his family? What kind of man would do that?” he snapped back.

  Lucia seemed to curl up in a ball on the chair, curving herself as far away from Phoenix as possible. Val took a seat next to her, wrapping her arm protectively around Lucia’s shoulders. Lorcan stood alone, his rage a tangible force that nobody dared touch.

  “What happened next?” Phoenix asked in a quiet voice. “What happened to the… to my family?”

  I cleared my throat. “I just have bits and pieces that I’m still trying to put together. Folsom says you set up the sanctuary with him. Helena, their mother, said you vanished off the face of the planet. Gabe told me you were a powerful fae, next-in-line after Fionnuala. He said you embarrassed her and were exiled.”

  “That’s about me. What happened to them?”

  I blew out a breath. “People came in the night to take the twins. A woman was with them and mentioned some kind of deal to their mother. They beat Helena, and when she woke up, the twins were gone. She couldn’t find one person who remembered either you or your children. She never gave up. She kept searching.”

  Lorcan pushed himself further away from us. “We were taken to the slave markets for years until the vampires bought us. We were their slaves for decades. Until Ava came. Ava, Val, and even Esther helped save us from that life, and we’ve been here in Ireland since then, hiding from everyone.”

  “And the woman?Your mother?” Phoenix said dully.

  “She found me when I was younger,” I said. “Heard I was the kind of being who could get someone into the slave market. She befriended me, but she disappeared. I was on trial before the Council, and she was brought in as a witness. She got away free after that, but it turned out she had originally disappeared after she asked the wrong questions. She was dragged down to the slave markets herself, but that was long after the twins had already left. She was hidden in the sanctuary when I found it, and I was able to bring the twins to the sanctuary, but she died shortly after meeting them again.”

  “No happy ending,” Phoenix said, still in that empty voice.

  “Their story hasn’t ended yet,” Carl said, and I could see he thought little of Phoenix.

  “He’s right,” I said. “For whatever reason, you were separated from them. Now here they are.”

  “But I don’t know them. I don’t remember them. And I’m not the person they remember either. The man they showed me was warm and loving, carefree. I am none of those things.”

  “Maybe they brought out the best in you,” I shouted. “Get a hold of yourself, Phoenix. Do you need more proof or something? They’re your blood, and they’re in danger from your mother. Surely you can—”

  “So why did I allow someone to take my memories? What loving person would do that?”

  “I don’t know,” I said sullenly. “But it isn’t the point anyway. You have a chance to make it right now.”

  “I don’t know how.” He got to his feet. “But I’m going to find out. If I disappeared, why did my mother not protect them?”

  “All four of you were hiding from her,” I said slowly. “Don’t you understand? You loving a human was forbidden, the highest treachery as far as she was concerned.”

  He cleared his throat. “That’s not the only problem. A betrothal is a sacred thing. A life tie. I’m still supposed to marry a fae.”

  I winced at Lorcan’s sound of scorn. “Okay,” I said. “But that’s just an extra reason for what happened in the past. You left her, left your old life, to make a new one in secret. When you suspected your time was running out, you stole a pocket of Hell to hide your family in. To hide people unfairly on the run from the Council. You were a good person, Phoenix. I know you were.”

  He sat back down again. “She wouldn’t let me leave. That doesn’t surprise me now that I say it aloud. It’s been a long time since I’ve involved myself in family matters. In fae matters. In Council matters. I remember that we kept to ourselves, always making sure everyone knew we were better than them. But I got to know people, and I learned that wasn’t true.”

  “Helena was a witch,” I said. “She helped heal somebody in your life, and you fell in love.”

  “Helena,” he whispered, as if testing it out on his tongue, breathing out each syllable as if it would burn his lips.

  “We need you to remember,” I urged. We needed Phoenix on our side. Desperately.

  “I don’t think that’s possible,” Lorcan said. “We can show him what he missed out on, but I don’t think he’ll ever truly recall it himself.”

  “But he knows it’s true, right?” I asked in a panicky voice.

  “I know that you believe it’s true,” Phoenix said. “But it’s harder for me to grasp. I don’t remember any of it. Not even a hint of it. Seeing it was like a dream. I know my mother, and the things you say about her make sense. I can recall her condemning people for little reason, for reasons I openly argued with her about. But it all feels like so long ago now. I barely remember that time in my life.”

  “Phoenix, please.”

  “I
don’t know,” he said, staring at the twins. “They look like family, but surely they would spark a real memory. Surely I would know my own blood with more certainty than this.”

  “Do you trust us?” I asked. “I’ll make any deal you like because I know it’s the truth. The only way you’ll know for sure is if it comes from Fionnuala. I’ll help you find the truth. I’ll do anything so the twins can have their father.”

  I held out my hand.

  “Stop making deals!” Carl said. “Does he trust us? You mean, do we trust him?”

  “I trust him,” I said.

  “Somebody please knock some sense into her,” he snapped.

  “What? We’re right. It’s all true. How can this backfire if we already know the truth? He’s here for a reason. He wants to understand; I don’t see how that isn’t obvious to everyone else.”

  “Because he gave up his memories voluntarily, Ava. Maybe he got tired of playing happy family and decided his race is the superior one after all. He’s Fionnuala’s son. He was raised by her. There’s not much chance he isn’t a stuck-up dick. Look who his mother is, someone who’s been intent on seeing you die since the first time you met.”

  Phoenix held out his hand, and I took it. “No deal,” he said. “But I’ll find out the truth one way or another. I need to know why I was exiled. No matter the reason, I can’t recall it. Someone must know. Even if she doesn’t tell me, someone else will. I need to know the missing pieces to the story. I’ve never been happy, Ava. Yet, these two showed me a happy version of myself. I want to know what went wrong.”

  He looked at the twins. “You may never forgive me for what I’ve done, and we may never understand each other, but I am intent on finding out what happened to all of us. If you are my children, I will protect you.”

  “We’re your enemies as long as you stay by Fionnuala’s side,” Lorcan said fiercely. “We are the rebels fighting to overthrow your mother. Understand that before you claim to provide protection.”

  I failed to disguise my groan. Big mouthed half-breed.

  Phoenix caught my eye. “Fighting against her while you fight for her? All of this is about you being a traitor?”

  “I never asked to have anything to do with the Council. They keep forcing me to fight for them. It’s not my fault they can’t take care of themselves. All I know is that I can’t sleep at night when I work for them because of the things they do to keep their power. Go see the children they’ve taken. Let Esther tell you what happened when she tried to save a baby. Go listen to Gabe when he tells you how the children are reacting under the Council’s care. I can’t associate myself with those people and still feel good about myself. I can’t walk around knowing that people like this are hiding away for nothing.” I glanced around. “Leah, where’s Leah?”

  Somebody pushed the teenage girl forward. She looked up at Phoenix shyly.

  “This girl has a power,” I said. “So the Council hunted her down and locked her in the cells. Why? So nobody else could have her. A child in those cells? Are you serious? You call me a traitor when they’re betraying everyone on this island. And Ry… Ry, come over.”

  Ry strode over to us, wearing a sullen expression. He tried to look taller, but he came across as vulnerable, and that was the way I needed him. “Ry’s brother was brought into the cells when I was there, too. He committed suicide, an awful suicide, rather than face the Council’s judgement. Their unfair judgement.”

  “And why were you there? Why were you in the cells?” Phoenix asked.

  “Because I’m tainted,” I said bitterly. “And I killed a vampire who wanted to create an army using me. But his second-in-command, the one who accused me, set the first beast on us. Even though the Council knew what he had done, they let him go free. Guess what happened next, Phoenix? He switched sides, and we had a war to fight. If it wasn’t for Gabe stepping in, at best, I’d still be in those cells.”

  The people around us began to pipe up, telling their stories, the pathetic reasons the Council wanted to arrest them: being from the wrong family, rumours, minor issues that didn’t require a trial to deal with. It went on and on, and I wiped my eyes, realising they were wet.

  “My mother was taken to the slave market,” Val said at last. “She was raped by a hellhound and died giving birth to me. I escaped from the market with Leah, and everyone’s been hunting us since then.”

  “She came with us to Hell,” I said, “to rescue the children from the slave markets, but the Council took them from us and refused to let us return the children to their families, which is interesting considering we all believe someone from the Council is involved in the markets in the first place. The human police are told what to do; drug dealers and criminals are told what to do. That much power can’t come from anywhere other than the Council.”

  “You’re all rebels because of this?” Phoenix asked in a quiet voice.

  “No,” I said. “They’re all terrified because of this. They were hiding in the sanctuary you created. When Folsom was murdered, the sanctuary lost its protection. That’s why they’re here. While on the way here, some secret group of tattooed assassins tried to kill us all. Some of those assassins were Guardians who have been trained secretly for some purpose we haven’t figured out yet. The one who protected this place was murdered while saving these people from beasts who were led here by a vampire, specifically led here, which means somebody on our side flirted with the enemy for a vendetta. So now we have nothing. We have no choice. The only way we survive is if we fight back, even if that means that people like you and Gabe stand against us. We have to change how things work. We have to. Look at the twins. They were slaves to the vampires because of their gifts.”

  “What gifts?” he asked.

  “Lucia’s a seer. She doesn’t speak, but she shares the images with Lorcan, and he speaks for her. Lorcan can cloak both of them, and they can put a different kind of cloak over a small area. When they lived in England, somebody stole a piece of Hell for them, and Lorcan reinforced the protection. That same someone left your sword with them in the dead of night.”

  “I can’t explain the sword, but my great-grandmother was a seer. My people say that the seers are blessed, gifted by our long-dead. She was a direct link to the other side, to those who took an interest in our future. A fae seer is considered special.”

  “But we’re half-blooded,” Lorcan said bitterly. “So we don’t count at all.”

  Phoenix took Lucia’s hand hesitantly, and he reached out for Lorcan’s. “I’ll do my best to discover the real truth,” he said. “And until then, you have my protection. Take it.”

  I could tell by the shudders that ran through their bodies that he had made a deal with them. I breathed a sigh of relief. Two less people to worry about.

  “I must leave,” Phoenix said. “Before someone notices I’m gone. Are you sure you won’t join us in England?” he asked me.

  “My place is here. I can’t let the Council distract me again.”

  “Pray Icarus returns with me,” he said, getting to his feet. “I am going to play both sides, Ava, before I can tell where I belong. I’m not sure where my place is. Not yet. Keep an eye on these two. I want to speak to them when I return. And you, follow me outside.” His eyes flashed at me, and I felt as if I were being held to the spot.

  I obediently trotted outside after him. He led me to the mouth of the cul-de-sac, away from prying eyes.

  “You’ve spun many a tale today,” he said in a low voice.

  “I’ve told more truths today than I ever have,” I said.

  He grabbed my wrist and yanked up my sleeve to see the rest of the brands scarring my skin. “How did this happen?”

  “I made a deal with Lorcan. Took me a while to figure out how to do what I promised.”

  He ran his finger across the brands, right up to my inner elbow. At first his touch tingled, but he pressed until it stung. He wrapped his hand around my inner elbow, his fingers digging into my skin until I winced.


  “This is nothing,” he hissed, his eyes darkening. He hovered his palm over my chest. “You’ve played with my heart. If I discover you lied to me, I will take yours. It won’t be the werewolves you’ll need to fear. Do you understand me?”

  I nodded, and he left, leaving me shaken. I went back inside. Everyone was overexcited, but I didn’t like the look on Lorcan’s face.

  “Do you think he’ll tell his mother what we’re doing?” Val asked.

  “I’d like to think he wouldn’t, but does it matter? We all suspect each other of something. I’m keen to see how it turns out.”

  “I don’t like him,” Lorcan said harshly. “I can’t stand him.”

  “Give him a chance,” I said, taking his hand. “Let him have one chance to prove himself. He made a deal with you, didn’t he?”

  He nodded. “For all that means. He chose to let us go. To forget all of us. My mother’s last words to us were of the guarantee that we had our father’s love. That if he lived, we would be safe. Ava, I don’t feel very safe.”

  “Me either, but when have we? While he’s gone with Fionnuala, I suppose we can up our game a little, try to figure out who will be on our side when the shit hits the fan. We have a lot to do.”

  “No more hiding,” he said. “If Lucia and I have his protection, then I want to be out on the streets with you. Taking part in everything. If I can take the blame, and he can save me, we might all be okay.”

  “Stop planning for failure.” I squeezed his hand harder. “We’re on the winning team.”

  “I keep thinking there’s no winning team,” he replied. “I keep thinking that we’re fighting for a world we will never see.”

  I shivered. “Don’t say that, premonition twin.”

  “We haven’t seen anything,” he said. “That’s what scares me. That there is no future for us.”

  They all left after that, leaving me alone to mull over everything. I could relate to Phoenix. His family had been stolen from him. My idea of family had been stolen from me. I ignored the ringing of my phone and stared into space, trying to figure out our next step.