by A Lonergan
I crossed my arms over my chest and leveled my stare at Willow. “Are you going to introduce us to your hulking friend or not, Lady Bane?”
A smile split her face and I knew I had made a mistake with being so formal. Why couldn’t I have a backbone when it came to her?
Chapter Thirteen
Willow
Lady Bane?
He was rutting angry. I didn’t think I had ever seen him so mad before. It was amusing and terrifying. It didn’t help that he had Nico beside him glaring holes into Balam’s forehead. Balam acted oblivious, like he was an upstanding citizen and not the oversized, intimidating demon that he was.
A closed-lipped smile stretched across Balam’s face and he bowed. “It is so nice to finally meet you, Your Highness. Gregory at your service.”
I snorted in surprise and tried to cover it up with a fake cough. Gregory? He certainly didn’t look like a Gregory. Nico cocked an eyebrow and I could have kicked myself for not warning Balam about him. He knew immediately that the demon wasn’t speaking the truth.
“Who are you and how are you affiliated with Willow?” Cal asked. His face was blank but I could practically feel his anger rolling off of him. I had no doubt that Nico had spoken inside of his head and filled him in on Balam’s lies.
“I am from Arinal.” Nico unsheathed his shield and stepped in front of Cal before he scowled at me. The rest of the men surrounding us mimicked their commanding guard. I frowned before I rolled my eyes. Balam continued but chuckled before he spoke. “I had a feeling that would happen. I do not follow the Emperor’s rule, don’t worry. You should be relieved, you’re about to learn so much about Willow’s past, don’t you want to know more? She is quite the lover.”
Cal motioned for the army to calm before he waved us to his tent. “This is probably better done in private.”
Nico narrowed his eyes but didn’t lower his weapon. “I don’t trust a man that talks in half-truths.”
Balam smirked but didn’t say anything, thank the Goddess.
Cal whirled on us as soon as the tent flap closed and we were alone. “Arinal? How could you bring a possible enemy into our camp?”
I rolled my eyes. “Everyone meet Balam, he is not my past lover as much as he would like to pretend. He is Hel’s minion and he’s here to teach me about my magic.”
Balam piped up then. “And plenty more.”
Cal’s nostrils flared but his voice remained impassive. “That explains the strange eyes. You couldn’t have glamoured those away? This is going to be extremely hard to explain to the rest of the camp.”
Balam scoffed. “I will not change my appearance for the sake of your men’s sanity. Eventually, they must know there are other realms and creatures in this existence. You can’t continue to live on believing that you are the superior race.”
Cal closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Can I speak with you alone, Willow?”
Nico opened his mouth to protest before he reconsidered and narrowed his eyes at Balam. “I would love to get to know you better.”
Balam raised an eyebrow and chuckled. “I love the enthusiasm, but I have my sights set on another and she is finally within my grasp.”
His eyes followed the shape of my body and I felt the air get hot again. My face flushed and I wondered if I was making a fool out of myself with his advances. Cal had pursued me with shy attention. If Balam was interested in me like I thought he was, I knew this was going to be a spectacle. I had hardly known him but the way he spoke and carried himself told me this was going to be an interesting partnership. I pressed my lips together and motioned for him to go on. He winked at me just as the flap to the tent swung closed.
I sighed. This was going to be exhausting.
“What happened? You’re alone for the first time and you bring back a pet?” Cal ran his fingers through his hair and gave me an exasperated look.
I laughed. “I wouldn’t call him a pet, he may like that.”
“I’m serious, Willow.”
“Oh,” I sighed again. “Are we on a first name basis again?”
He turned his back to me and shook his head. “This is dangerous.”
“This could be a good thing.” I touched his arm but he pulled away. Or it could be bad. How could I make him understand? Did it even matter if he did? Were we so far gone that it didn’t matter if someone else could be interested in me?
“I don’t see how at all.” Cal finally turned around and I looked at him -really looked at him- for the first time in days. He had bags under his eyes and his hair looked less radiant. He was emotionally exhausted, I could see it in his eyes. The cocky gate he usually had was gone and his shoulders were slumped.
“He is powerful and we could use more allies. This war is going to be hard enough. Maybe he can help lessen the blow it will bring to your people.” I chewed on my lip.
“If he stays that long.” Cal pulled at his tunic and looked anywhere but me. His voice was strained and his jaw was clenched.
“Are you jealous?” I didn’t want to say it, but I knew I had to. We couldn’t keep skirting around the subject of us. We had to discuss this mess sooner rather than later.
He let out a growl and I almost slipped up with a giggle. “I’m not jealous of him, not yet at least. But I have no reason to be jealous, you aren’t mine.”
I had wanted those words. I had waited for them and I had asked for the truth. But that didn’t mean the truth didn’t hurt all the same.
I nodded my head once and fled his tent. The sun had gone down and I wasn’t going to stay where I wasn’t wanted. I needed to find other arrangements for myself and my new friend.
Chapter Fourteen
Cal
Regret coursed through me.
I hadn’t wanted to say the words but I knew there was no way around it. There was no room for love during war and watching her suffer wasn’t helping anyone. Especially me. It took everything I had to keep myself from going after her. I knew all I had done was push her away, and this time into the arms of another.
My head had to be focused. My mind couldn’t stay pinned to Willow. That would be how I would lose her and my kingdom. There was no use in trying to hold onto something that would get us all killed. I tried to tell myself that it was better off this way but as I sunk down onto my cot, I didn’t feel it. All I could feel was sadness and the gaping hole in my chest. When the opening to my tent moved I perked up in hope that it was her.
Nico’s red hair illuminated the room and darkness gripped my heart. “You love to self-sabotage, don’t you?”
I pinched my lips together and laid down. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“I don’t care if you do. I don’t know why you are playing this game with her. Is it because of the demon?” Nico unrolled his sleeping pack and sat on the ground.
“There is no game. I stopped all of this like I should have done weeks ago. How can I properly love her right now? How can I treat her properly in this war?” I didn’t know if I was asking him the questions or myself.
“You should have left her behind,” Nico said.
He was right, but I couldn’t bring myself to admit it. There was too much finality in it. I knew that if I had left her behind, I would have come back to her gone. She was trying to find herself and being cooped up in a castle wasn’t any way to do that, even if I had paraded her around as my future bride. I had moved too quickly and I was now paying the price.
Chapter Fifteen
Willow
I kicked the dirt. I didn’t much care where Balam had stumbled off to and I wasn’t planning on looking for him either. For whatever reason, this was all his fault. Every single bit of it. He just had to come out of nowhere and rut everything up.
A few watched as I slowly made my way into the woods surrounding our camp. There were a few worried glances and a few happy ones. I knew they wanted nothing more than to see me disappear. I had stayed for Cal. I had come all this way for him and his war. But what d
id it mean for me? I tried to think of all the happy moments. The moments that had solidified my love for him. But how had I known? As I thought on them now, the moments seemed farther and farther away. They seemed like they were from another life. There had been so much heartache and fear in that room, but now it seemed as if it hadn’t happened at all.
I touched the dark bark on the tree beside me and stared off into the darkness. I closed my eyes and leaned against the tree. I wanted to cry. Or I thought I did. The heartache that I thought I would experience from his rejection didn’t come. It didn’t come as I slid down the bark and into the tall grass. It didn’t come when I closed my eyes and imagined his kisses and it didn’t come when I pinched myself. My first heartache and I couldn’t even react properly.
I was broken.
“Human beings are odd.” I jerked at the sound of Balam’s voice and hit my head on the tree behind me in the process.
“What?” I rubbed my eyes and immediately regretted it. My hands had been in the dirt while I slept and with the motion I had gotten the little minerals in my eyes. Tears flooded my vision and I wanted to holler in delight. Finally, I was crying. This was a relief. I could cry. Maybe I wasn’t broken.
Balam stooped down to my level and stared at me. His orange eyes blazed like golden fire through the darkness surrounding us. “Why are you sleeping against a tree?”
I frowned. Why was I sleeping against a tree?
I shrugged. “I am not entirely sure. I was feeling some kind of way and then must have dozed off.”
“Does it have something to do with the man child in the fancy tent?” Balam tilted his head suggestively.
“Yes and no.” I squeezed my eyes closed and shook my head. “I don’t know why we are having this conversation. Where have you been?”
“I went hunting.” He cocked his head sideways and somehow the darkness around us lightened a bit and I could see a large animal on the ground behind the demon. “I gathered some wood and figured I would wake you before starting a fire. That’s going to be your first lesson.”
I raised my eyebrows. “Madam Colver is going to be offended and then probably beat you with a spoon.” I scratched my brow. “I wasn’t aware that my magic could do anything besides kill and… create weird poisonous flowers.”
Balam grinned and his canines poked through again. “That sounds like good fun.”
I snorted before I pushed up from the ground and steadied myself. “Which part? The lashing or the poison?”
He hefted the dead beast over his shoulder and threw me a cocky grin. “Both.”
I let out a shuddering breath and didn’t say anything. Sometimes silence was the best answer. But Balam didn’t know what to do with it and kept throwing me glances as he put the sticks and twigs in a cone.
“Madam Colver was very nice to me by the way,” Balam said as he sat back on his heels and listened to the woods around us.
“Oh?” I wasn’t up for conversation but Balam was the opposite it seemed. For as long as he was with me, I knew I was never going to be bored. Whether it be from his heated looks or his wild banter.
“She told me she wanted to fatten me up.” Balam blew hard on the sticks and they burst into flames.
“Impressive.” I chuckled. “Sounds like Madam Colver. Though I don’t know why she would think you need fattening up.”
“Maybe she just wanted to feed me. It’s a kink.”
I wrinkled my nose. “I would rather not talk about kinks and Madam Colver in the same sentence again.”
He shrugged before he unbuckled his armor at his shoulders the black metal hit the ground in front of the fire. Under the armor was a black fitted tunic tucked into leather pants. He hefted up the breastplate and leaned it against the tree I had fallen asleep against. “All you have to do is tell your magic what to do and it will listen. It is yours to command, like a servant.”
I hated that comparison and made a face to show him my disgust. “Don’t look at me that way. Eventually, you will have thousands of servants under your rule. You must get used to it.”
I wanted to tell him that he was wrong and that I had lost my place in Cal’s heart but I couldn’t stomach the words, much less the thoughts that would come with that conversation. I shrugged again and watched the flames dance.
“In order for you to learn, you’re going to have to try,” Balam said as he began to skin the animal in front of me. I had seen plenty of gruesome things in my life as an assassin but skinning an animal was always my least favorite part of being alone. I had grown too complacent being in the castle all of this time. It had turned me and my stomach soft. It was something I couldn’t afford.
I pressed my lips together and forced myself to watch as the skin was removed and he began deboning the meat. “I can observe and try later.”
“What if I am not here later?” Balam said as he tossed the skin aside and narrowed his eyes.
“Then I will manage like I have for the last twenty-something years.” I shrugged and gave him a menacing grin. “Plus, I know nothing about you.”
“What is there to know? I’m a demon.”
“How were you created?”
He smiled. “I was a prisoner of war. I had been tortured and beaten and was close to death when Hel found me. I was frightened and thought for sure she was going to be my death. I had heard stories of the Maiden of Death and I knew she was there to take me to my final resting place.” He paused and wiped his forearm across his forehead before he continued working. “She was unlike anything I had ever seen before. But when she took me from the cage, she told me of my bravery and reminded me of my strength. She said a soul like mine wasn’t to be wasted on eternal rest.”
“Is that what you wanted?” I watched the flames dance and lap at the wood.
“I wanted to be free of that prison cell. I thought death was my only answer. Hel gave me immortality and showed me hidden magic in my blood. She strengthened it and me.” He skewered the meat and placed it over the fire. It sizzled and popped as the juices dripped into the embers. “I owe her everything.”
“Why did she send you instead of someone else?” My eyes met his from across the fire.
“I’m the most powerful of all the ones she rescued, that day and others.” He sat on the ground across from me and watched the meat cook. “You remind me of her, in a way. You look a lot like her but the way you walk or your expressions. They are a lot like hers.”
“I know nothing about her.” My mouth started to salivate at the smell wrapping around us. I hadn’t been worried with eating my fill lately. I knew there were enough mouths to feed and not enough food to last the rest of the camp for much longer. Balam pulled one of the skewers from the fire and tore into the meat with his sharp teeth before he handed me the other stick.
“Sorry,” he said with his mouth full. “I forget you’re royalty, especially with you dressed that way.”
I ignored what he said and dug into the food. There was more than enough for me to eat my fill and have some leftover for breakfast. The thought of a good breakfast made me eat faster. It didn’t take me long to eat my fill. I sighed in satisfaction and leaned back onto my elbows.
“That was amazing.”
Balam just stared at me.
“What?” I frowned as I tossed my stick into the woods.
“You are a heathen.” He tossed stick after but kept staring at me with a weird look. “I have been wondering since I was given this mission why you haven’t been married off yet. Now I know.”
I stuck my tongue out at him and rolled my eyes. “I will have you know, I haven’t married because I don’t want to be.”
Balam shrugged shoulders and chuckled to himself. “If you say so.”
“I don’t know many men that find killing machines attractive.” I crossed my arms over my chest and pouted. I wanted a bath and a tent. The clothes I had been stuck in stunk and as much as I hated the nightclothes my mother forced me to pack, I found myself craving the soft
fabric on my skin.
“Why are you making that face?”
“Nothing, I just wish I had a tent to sleep in. I would kill to get rid of these clothes for a rest.”
Balam stood up and stretched his bronzed arms above his head. “Say no more.”
Before I could get a word in, there was a black tent positioned right next to the fire.
Chapter Sixteen
Willow
Birds chirped and bugs buzzed and pretty soon I realized I was no longer in a tent. I pulled my blanket up over my chest and prayed I wasn’t going to be rutting angry when I opened my eyes.
“Good morning,” Jokes were on me. I didn’t need to open my eyes to know I was waking up to a nightmare. Nico stood over me with a grin.
I took a deep breath and tried to remind myself that my anger was with Balam and not the man currently taunting me. “What do you want, Nico?”
“You are extra angry this morning.” Nico spit before he grinned.
“You would be angry too if you went to bed comfortably just to wake up half-dressed in a very public clearing.” My magic flooded my body like a second skin and I was able to stand without exposing myself to Nico or the other men that were possibly lurking around.
I shucked my nightgown and pulled my clothes on as my darkness clung to me and kept me modest. Nico kept his eyes adverted and I was thankful for humility. “What do I owe the pleasure?” I asked as I buckled my boots and strapped my knives to my legs.
“How are you?” Nico’s voice held genuine concern. He looked tired and I wondered if he had slept at all. Probably not considering his station and keeping the King safe.