by A Lonergan
Lawrence laughed. “Of course, this is what I want in exchange for my troops and support. You get the aid and we get to choose trades later. I don’t need anything at the moment. But Ailia will know what’s best for our kingdom and will be able to voice concerns or whatever it is she wants to do.” The man clasped his hand on my shoulder. “She needs out of that tower for a bit and I want her to see something besides her sisters for the rest of her life. She loves books and some adventure, though most adventure is in the books she reads. She has excelled at everything she touches and if I didn’t give her an opportunity like this, I would be wasting her great mind. She deserves more. I have to act like this is an agreement between our people or she will never agree to leave.”
Lawrence wiped a tear from his cheek and nodded at me once. He loved his daughter so much and only wanted the best for her and so he did the only thing he could to save her soul. He let her go. And I knew, at that moment, I had to do the same. I couldn’t pine after her any longer. I couldn’t watch her walk by with longing. I couldn’t hold her back. I couldn’t have jealous feelings. She would have to choose what she wanted and if she wanted to stay when the war was over, we would establish something then. But for now, I had to let go for myself.
“I suppose there wouldn’t be a problem with that. There aren’t many healers in my kingdom and we could always use more. She has incredible training and persistence. I would be honored to have her in my court.”
Lawrence shook hands with me and nodded his head. “Do you have everything you need?”
“Yes, I think we are ready. I can’t thank you enough for your hospitality.”
The king shook his head. “You don’t need to thank me at all. You did your part. You helped save our best allies and friends.”
I looked over at Willow. “I wouldn’t say it was me that did anything.”
“She’s yours, so we will thank you.” I couldn’t argue because there was no point in doing so with this man, but I would make sure to let Willow know. “Just get those damn demons out of my kingdom and never let them return. The healer has ruined my girls for other men. I doubt they will ever want to marry now.”
I tried to keep the smirk off of my face but it was too difficult. It was Lawrence’s fault that he had sheltered them so. But I would never admit that to the man.
Willow shouldered her backpack and gave me a small wave. It was time to go. Ailia ran from the castle doors with a bag and a grin. She was dressed in leathers and a tight tunic that showed off her lean body.
“Ready?”
“I was born ready!” she squealed.
Chapter Forty-Seven
Willow
Every day Balam brought an assignment with him as we marched through the forest into the unknown. It was only a matter of time before the elves knew we had another army with us. This army was full of every single magical creature. From fairies to trolls. I knew the giants would join us eventually too. It gave me a feeling of hope and worry.
“Do you think you could win against the elves?” Balam finally asked one evening while we were eating dinner and watching the others spar.
I nodded my head. “Yes, but you won’t let me win using all of my magic. But yes, if I could play unfairly, then yes.”
He laughed at me. “You think you can win this war on your own? With your own magic? Against elves?”
I rolled my eyes. I didn’t know why he was lumping me in my own category, we had another army with us now. “Why not?”
“HA HA! Why not? Why not? Because you are one woman. Yes, you are powerful, but so are they. Elves hold pure magic. Magic you have never seen. Magic you could never dream of. If you think for one moment that you can destroy that, then you are stupid and me being here to teach you is pointless. Hel can call me back.” Abaddon said from behind me.
I scrubbed my hand down my face. Abaddon was growing more and more aggravating as the days wore on. “What can I do?”
Balam smirked and beat Abaddon to the information he had been holding on to for who knows how long, “you can create dragons. Hel was a dragon master. I watched her for hundreds of years craft their eggs.”
I blinked in surprise. “Craft dragon eggs?”
“Dragons are created from dark magic. Dark magic like yours and Hel’s. She stopped making them when Cal’s father came into power and killed them all. She knew he would stop at nothing to kill every one of them. She crafted a few when his children came into power but they escaped to the Earth Realm and she lost track of them. She believes they’re dead and cannot stomach creating more.”
“So that leaves me?” I crossed my arms over my chest and watched the fire crackle in front of me. A spark popped and rose into the sky.
“That leaves you, yes. You have her power, Willow. Time to accept it.”
Abaddon sat across from me and the fire illuminated his pretty face. “But that doesn’t mean she can master it.”
“I don’t see why I can’t, I would love to fly.” I winked at Balam.
Abaddon smirked. “Oh, I can get you flying faster than-”
Balam’s fist connected with his cheek and whatever else he was about to say was cut short. “Don’t be disrespectful.”
Abaddon rubbed the tender skin and stood up. “This is more trouble than it’s worth.”
Poof he was gone again.
“If I had known it would be that easy to get rid of him, I would have done that a long time ago.” Balam rubbed his knuckles on his leather vest.
“Do you know how she crafts the eggs?” My mind was spinning. I had no idea that was how they were created. I had never even heard legends about them.
“Of course I do or I wouldn’t have told you about it. There is no point in getting someone’s hopes up.”
Nico joined us a little while later and I asked him. “Do you know how dragons were created?”
He lifted his eyebrows and shook his head. “No, I don’t believe I do.”
I looked at Balam and shrugged before I spoke. “I was merely curious about a possible story, but I would love to learn. What do I have to lose?”
That night Balam got close to me and put his hands on mine. “You have to imagine it. Every scale and every characteristic. You can form it. All you have to do is grab ahold of your magic and weave it together.”
“Okay," I held my hands up and imagined the scales. Something fell into my palm and there it was, a bright purple scale. I gasped. Balam smiled and I wondered about the life I was creating. I closed my eyes and pictures a purple scaly creature and more scales rained into my hands. I didn’t know where they were coming from but I was overjoyed. “Is it supposed to be this easy?”
Balam’s lips cracked into a little smile. “I watched Hel create hundreds without blinking an eye. I’m not surprised that it’s this easy for you. But it might take you a little while to get it all assembled.”
“What do you mean?” I looked down at all the little pieces in my hand.
“Now you have to close your eyes and weave the scales together.”
I pressed my lips together and looked down at the mess in my hands. How the hell was I going to weave these together?
Balam filled in the gaps for me. “Imagine you’re pressing them together, that there is life within your hands that you’re trying to keep safe.”
So I closed my eyes and started at the bottom of the egg. I pictured it in my head. The little dragon would be bright purple with the brightest lavender eyes. She would be fierce but she wouldn’t breathe fire, no, it would be ice. Each scale snapped together and Balam had been right, it did take a while. There were thousands of scales to press together and craft. But I didn’t mind, I liked imagining my fierce friend. She would be cunning and dignified. She would destroy kingdoms if needed but nurture young. She would someday be a mother.
I stopped and opened my eyes. Balam was watching me with pride. “What is it?”
I shook my head but deep inside I was worried. I had never thought of being a mother
before. Did I want to be a mother? Could I be a mother? If I was going to be auctioned off to one of the horsemen, could they even sire children? These had never been thoughts I had before. Sure, maybe a few thoughts entered my mind when Cal and I were courting, but it wasn't a long enough period to be serious. I was more worried about being Queen to a kingdom I knew nothing about. I was more concerned with the magic that had been waiting to break free from my skin.
“You look like you’ve seen a ghoul.” Balam took a step toward me before he took a step back. He looked uncertain like he could read my thoughts and he didn’t know how to proceed.
“No, I was just thinking and a few things worried me. Things I had never thought of when it had come to my future.” I finished assembling the dragon egg and held it up in the firelight. It didn’t do anything or feel magical. Then I noticed one of the scales on the top of it wasn’t completely snapped in. I pressed it in and the entire egg started to glow. It rose into the air and my stomach dropped. I had hoped to keep my little experiment under wraps but now there was no going back. It rose higher and higher into the air and spun around before it emitted a massive light and fell back into my hands.
All eyes were on me now. I pressed my lips together again and tried to sink into the tree I was leaning against. Was that possible? I waggled my fingers awkwardly and everyone returned back to their usual activities.
I looked over at the fire in the middle of the sand and my heart sunk. Ailia was leaning against Cal laughing. He had his goblet raised high and hadn’t even noticed my outburst of magic. Once again, I was an outsider. But was it by choice? Didn’t I prefer this? I had been the one that had alienated myself since day one.
Nico was nowhere to be found, which wasn’t surprising. He was usually wandering on his own these days. He didn’t seem to be an elite as of late and did his own thing. Which didn’t matter if Cal didn’t care. I didn’t know why I still cared.
Balam leaned forward. “Why do you stay?”
“Do you have the ability to read minds too?” I held the dragon egg close to my chest and felt warmth and comfort. Something I desperately needed.
“No, but I have gotten better at reading you.” Balam kicked sand onto the fire and held his hand out to me. “Come on.”
I grasped his hand and let him pull me up from the ground. He didn’t let my hand go as we wove through the trees and came upon a little creek. He sat down beside the water and patted the ground next to him. He gazed up at the sky and I rolled my eyes.
Only a demon would be interested in watching the trees. I sunk down next to him and mirrored his stance. “Oh!”
The stars shined brightly between the tree branches. “I noticed this last night and I wanted to share it with you but you were fast asleep. I worry I have been too hard on you.”
I bumped his shoulder with mine and we both swayed. “Where is the demon that didn’t give a rut about running me into the ground?”
“That demon didn’t care about the little mortal he sought to destroy. Now he wants to nurture.” The words hung in the air between us and I couldn’t bring myself to look at him. I continued to stare into the black night and tried to forget what he said.
“I didn’t realize demons had feelings.” I snickered.
“Me either.”
Chapter Forty-Eight
Willow
“Again!” Balam shouted.
He had told me he had feelings but now I wasn’t so sure. I swung the sword once more and he blocked my swing effortlessly. The blow vibrated up my arm and into my shoulder. The sword dropped to the ground and I shook my head. “I can master everything else, but not the sword.”
“You could if you tried.” Anger welled up inside of me at that. It was the last straw. I was exhausted. He had apologized for being so hard on me and yet, here he was again pushing me to my limits. There was only so much I could do. There was only so much I could take. “You aren’t working hard enough.”
My nostrils flared. “How! Dare! You!”
I picked the sword up from the ground and swung around. The blade made an arch around me as it headed straight for Balam. He held up his sword to deflect my blow but it didn’t do much. It knocked the blade from his hands and I pressed the tip of mine to his neck. He smiled and his canines pushed past his bottom lip.
I dropped the weapon and rolled my eyes. “You did that on purpose.”
Clapping sounded from behind us. Balam’s face went slack as I turned around to the noise. Cal was standing off to the side smiling. “Bravo!”
I growled.
“Grumpy this morning?” Cal asked.
“Grumpy every morning,” Balam answered.
“Would you like spar with a real opponent?” Cal picked the sword up off of the ground and I thought for sure he was speaking to Balam. But he was staring at me. Which was good because all of the color had drained out of the demon’s face. He must have assumed the same as I did.
There was still anger in my chest, but it wasn’t directed at Balam this time. No, it was directed at the man that had professed his love to me but dropped me easily. The man that had made so many promises but refused to keep them. The man that I had thought I loved but was horribly mistaken. Did he drop anyone when it was convenient for him? I took the sword from his hand and took a few steps back. Balam stepped in front of me. He could see the anger swirling in my eyes. He could probably smell it. I didn’t care what he knew or what he thought he knew. I had some frustration to let out.
But then he did something that slightly frightened me and delighted me all at once. “Let me fight this battle for you.”
I didn’t need him to fight my battles for me. I didn’t need him to save me. I didn’t need anyone but maybe my mom. He gave me an understanding look and held his hand out to me. “I know what you’re feeling and trust me when I say, I’m not doing this for you.”
I let him have the sword. Not because I didn’t need to fight this battle but because there was an ache inside of my chest and I couldn’t sate it by fighting Cal. I would never be able to make it go away with violence. I couldn’t best a king, not here and not now. Not with so much at stake. So I let Balam do it because somewhere deep inside of me I needed him to, even though I couldn’t admit it out loud.
Cal watched the exchange with curiosity and confusion. Balam had spoken low enough that I was sure the king hadn’t heard what was spoken. The demon rolled his shoulders and advanced on Cal. Cal deflected his blows easily, almost too easily. It was like Balam wasn’t trying. Which didn’t make sense, he was a much better fighter than this. I knew from personal experience.
Blow after blow and round after round, I could see that it was starting to wear on Cal. But Balam wasn’t even breaking a sweat. Cal’s shoulders weren’t as straight and his stance was a little sloppy. Balam had done this on purpose and Cal had walked right into his trap, happy as can be. Balam went in with all of his strength then and Cal fell to the ground. He went to stand but Balam knocked his legs out from under him. Cal smiled up at him in mockery.
“You left her.” Balam snarled as he punched Cal in the face. I gasped and watched as the rest of the exchange happened in slow motion. “I listened to her cries for what seemed like weeks. I watched her doubt herself because of you. A stupid, mortal, boy-king. You all left her and then when she came back.” He punched Cal again. There was a sickening crunch and blood pooled under Cal’s nose. I wanted to turn away but I couldn’t stop watching. “You didn’t care. You just let her do her own thing. You watched as she almost died. A woman that was supposed to be your queen. Like a plaything.”
Cal looked up from his bare hands and stared into my eyes. “I’m sorry.”
Balam laughed and his teeth passed his lips. His eyes grew dark and his face turned to stone. “Sorry doesn’t fix what you have done to her. She could have died out there. Actually, she almost died several times. You didn’t ask her about any of it. You never approached her. I watched as she looked at you and waited for you to com
e to her. To talk. To anything and you what? You ignored her. You acted as if she didn’t exist.”
Bile rose up in my throat. Hearing it out loud solidified everything. It made it all real and I couldn’t stand to hear another word. I got up and ran from the training grounds before the demon killed the boy-king or he continued to pour my heart out without my consent. Whatever happened next, I knew I couldn’t handle it. I hadn’t been prepared for all of that. I knew he was bitter toward Cal, but hearing it made it different.
I emptied my stomach in the creek and this time tears overflowed from my eyes again. He had been right. Everything he had said but that didn’t mean that it needed to be admitted.
I didn’t spar again. I didn’t sleep in Balam’s tent and I didn’t look in Cal’s direction. I didn’t care about any of it. All I wanted was for the war to be over with so I could go back to my mother and then leave all of this behind. I walked with Madam Colver as we journeyed on. She didn’t pry until the morning before the elves came. She was cooking eggs and looked at me while she waved her spoon.
“Moping around doesn’t do anyone any good.” She stirred the eggs that were starting to simmer in her large pot.
“I’m not moping, I’m avoiding.” I pulled fruit from the tray in front of her and snacked on it. As much as I loved food, it couldn’t even get me out of the mood I was in. It tasted like nothing.
“You can’t avoid forever either.” Madam Colver smacked my hand when I tried to go for some bread.
“What do you think I should do?” My face fell and I prayed I didn’t start crying.
“I think you have multiple headstrong men in love with you and you are very lucky.” The old cook smiled while she cut me a slice of white cheese. “Cal is still young and unfortunately he didn’t have much of an example growing up. The demon, well, I don’t know much about him but he looks at you in the same manner. You should probably take notes on that one. Pros and cons. There are certainly a lot of pros.” Her smile was way too cocky. It was infectious and I couldn’t help but smile too. “Nico, well, the boy really has loved a lot but you are something special.”